I’m nervous for this I want to be honest
with you guys I’ve actually had
nightmares
me being in front of a hundred people
expected me to do something I have very
little training for but in these
underwear in these nightmares
I’m in my underwear and people are
yelling at me and dollar bills are being
exchanged at an alarming rate oh wait
I’ve done that before our own Makena
atonium during drag shows I let me tell
you I do enjoy drag shows at McCain
because it gives me a whole wealth of
people to talk to from very different
backgrounds and the great thing about
drag shows is people know the difference
between a gay man who is wearing a wig
and putting on a show and a transgender
woman who identifies as a woman but was
born with a penis and this is a
fascinating thing because when I am in
my skivvies on McCain Auditorium in
front of a thousand people where I’m
surprisingly not as nervous as I am in
this moment I have been called many
things brash ambitious out there but no
one has ever called me a woman when I’m
in my skivvies in front of McCain and
let me tell you I’ve done some feminine
things in my life I have gone to the spa
with my mom I have both enjoyed the
movie and book Pride and Prejudice and I
can rock amazing heels but about this
big and have given me a new creation
appreciation for all the women in my
life but after all these things no one
has ever misidentified my gender I
identify as a man and society agrees
with me because of my biological sex
what’s in between my legs and my gender
identity what’s in my mind
a line I am granted that privilege
people like me are called cisgender but
there are some other people in the world
most notably transgender people who
biological sex and gender identity do
not align there’s also a gender people
poly gender people Jenner fluid people
so many gender identities that I
honestly don’t know or can name half of
them but that’s why I’m here today
I’m here to open everyone’s horizons and
gender non-conforming individuals this
hopefully encompasses my two passions in
life number one social psychology and
number two advancing human rights
so what is social psychology you might
ask social psychology is the study of
how people interact with groups we study
the abcs effect behavior and cognition
we study why you don’t like that
professor who has the worst lectures we
study how leave some pure good and pure
evil affect how everyone goes about
their daily life and we study prejudice
towards gays towards blacks towards
women towards gender non-conforming
individuals just to name a few but that
line of research gets me into my second
great love advancing human rights Here I
am at last year’s little Apple Pride
Parade underneath the American flag it
was a wonderful time and I am looking
forward to the parade this year but I
want to see a just world my version of
just world is where everyone is treated
equally no matter what I know that’s
probably not going to happen at least
within my lifetime so ideally I want to
see a world where people are not judged
based on their group identity if they
identify as gay they can identify as gay
without any negative repercussions but
let me reframe and refocus a little bit
from me to the actual research
discussing transgender individuals and
gender non-conforming individuals so
there are two sides of this research
there are the perceiver side and the
target side perceivers are the ones
doing or not doing actions to the
targets targets in this instance are
gender non-conforming individuals who
are receiving or not receiving the
perceptions of people I have been
focusing on the perceiver side for the
past two years and I want to spend the
next 20 40 60 years of my career looking
at this side of research because
everyone has perceptions whether they’re
positive negative and different or you
just don’t know they’re all perceptions
of these individuals so what have we
learned in the past 40 years of research
on gender non-conforming individuals and
how people perceive them well it might
be high insight bias at work but we
haven’t really learned stuff that’s not
common sense we learned that people who
are more blatantly transphobic Allah
going into an alley and beating up
person who identifies as transgender are
a little more transphobic than those who
are not willing to do that
we also learned that people have similar
attitudes towards lesbians and gays as I
do to transgender men and transgender
women but I have to emphasize that
people are more have more favorable
views towards gays and lesbians than
they do towards transgender men and
women and we learned that people really
don’t know much about gender
non-conforming individuals and previous
research has shown that people really
don’t like what they don’t know so if
any of you have taken a philosophy or
logic class here at k-state probably
helped me with the following efference
that people don’t like gender
non-conforming individuals because they
don’t know too much about them but
zooming back out reframing and
refocusing yet again you might remember
that I said that it’s only half the
battle the other side is targets targets
are those who are receiving or not
receiving the prejudice and the
reframing and refocusing of this
research hasn’t drastically changed in
past twenty thirty years but I do want
to point out that one of the major
breakthroughs in this is getting the
public more aware of the difference
between transgender individuals and
transvestites transgender individuals
who are those who are identified as the
opposite gender than what they were
assigned at birth and wear the clothing
of that opposite gender to or adopts the
identified gender to alleviate dysphoria
whereas transvestites are those who wear
the clothing of the opposite gender as a
fetish or to express themselves sexually
but I want to again reframe and refocus
from the background research on
transgender individuals in gender
non-conforming to a case study for a
little bit of a humanizing perspective a
case study that involves my good friend
Alex Alex identifies as a gender which
means that Alex is not a man nor a woman
they just identify as they and as much
as I want to tell Alex one day just sit
them down and say it’s very hard for me
to constantly remember and validate your
gender identity always calling you them
and they as opposed to he and him I just
can’t do that just look at that face
I care about Alex and Alex is a very
human person to me so I don’t want to
cause them discomfort by calling them by
their wrong pronouns so I recently sat
down with Alex had a coffee shop and
interviewed them asking how is life more
difficult for gender non-conforming
individuals like them as opposed to
cisgender people like myself well they
told me that they have to live in this
very binary world that’s they’re either
a man or a woman there’s no third option
there’s no I don’t want these options
there’s no nothing but they also talked
about how agent people are different
than transgender people they’re trying
to fight the perception that a gender is
just trans lights like diet trans they
say that transgender people tend to have
more media representation than a gender
apology no gender-fluid people because
transgender people fit into the gender
binary in an abnormal way whereas a
gender people are just like we do not
need that thank you very much so I
followed that I ended our conversation
by asking if given the opportunity to
through me say something to TEDx mhk
what would you say and they said that
being a gender isn’t their life it’s
just one of many facets of it it’s on
the same level as being white an
engineer or lover of Indian food a
gender does not define Alex and then the
end of our conversation by saying five
words that really spoke with me and like
if threads wasn’t still like smoke
damage I’d probably put this on a
t-shirt but just let us be us which i
think is a very nice sentiment for this
talk increasing empathy among people and
just letting those who want to be who
they are let them be who they are and
why who are we to get in that way but
again to reframe refocuses back to me
unfortunately but I unfortunately want
to change the world this is unfortunate
place to be because I know I probably
can’t not at least in any sub
away but we have a phrase for this in
cognitive dissonance in psychology
called cognitive distance where on one
side of my mind I’m thinking wow look at
all this amazing research and what we
can do just talking about how life could
be better for dinner non-conforming
individuals but then on the other side
of my mind I’m thinking look at all the
people in the world just so resistant to
change
your talk is but a drop in the bucket a
bucket full of the status quo but then
somewhere in the middle there’s like
there’s other part of me that just wants
to bang their heads together and say
that kind of pessimism has no place at
TEDx mhk so I want to step back and ask
you guys question I know you guys all
have a little notepad in golf pencils
I’m going to ask you whether it applies
to my talk or to any other talks days
I’m going to ask you a question that I
ask all my residents when I sit them
down at Cramer dining hall after a long
day of studying I will ask you the
question I ask myself after every
lecture I survive I’m going to ask you
the question that I asked my roommate
after every test he takes I want to ask
you what you learn today and I would
love if you just wrote that down on your
pace paper because I feel like this is a
good question to inspire everyone to
live their fullest and I try to ask
myself it every day because today I
learned that people’s perceptions of
transgender individuals are pretty
similar to lesbians and gays but they
are different and not very better that
was not good English and I apologize I
also learned that I can sprint in
three-inch red heels and it’s kind of
freaky sight have you ever seen it I
pity you if you have but we also learned
that my friend Alex says just let us be
us which i think is a good takeaway from
this not to influence your own what you
learn today but that’s mine my friend
alex has just let us be us but the key
to understanding gender nonconforming is
empathy and empathy is a hard task doing
the right thing is hard being a good
person is hard and I don’t expect every
single person in this world to have that
same gumption to go and make
life better for these individuals but I
want you to stop and ask maybe why
because life is hard for gender
non-conforming individuals and sometimes
it’s hard to empathize with them some of
you might be like me and wonder what the
difference between gender fluid a gender
apology is but again I invite you not to
hate based off this ignorance and if you
can just walk a mile in someone else’s
shoes even if they are ruby red pumps
thank you and good night
[Applause]
you
with you guys I’ve actually had
nightmares
me being in front of a hundred people
expected me to do something I have very
little training for but in these
underwear in these nightmares
I’m in my underwear and people are
yelling at me and dollar bills are being
exchanged at an alarming rate oh wait
I’ve done that before our own Makena
atonium during drag shows I let me tell
you I do enjoy drag shows at McCain
because it gives me a whole wealth of
people to talk to from very different
backgrounds and the great thing about
drag shows is people know the difference
between a gay man who is wearing a wig
and putting on a show and a transgender
woman who identifies as a woman but was
born with a penis and this is a
fascinating thing because when I am in
my skivvies on McCain Auditorium in
front of a thousand people where I’m
surprisingly not as nervous as I am in
this moment I have been called many
things brash ambitious out there but no
one has ever called me a woman when I’m
in my skivvies in front of McCain and
let me tell you I’ve done some feminine
things in my life I have gone to the spa
with my mom I have both enjoyed the
movie and book Pride and Prejudice and I
can rock amazing heels but about this
big and have given me a new creation
appreciation for all the women in my
life but after all these things no one
has ever misidentified my gender I
identify as a man and society agrees
with me because of my biological sex
what’s in between my legs and my gender
identity what’s in my mind
a line I am granted that privilege
people like me are called cisgender but
there are some other people in the world
most notably transgender people who
biological sex and gender identity do
not align there’s also a gender people
poly gender people Jenner fluid people
so many gender identities that I
honestly don’t know or can name half of
them but that’s why I’m here today
I’m here to open everyone’s horizons and
gender non-conforming individuals this
hopefully encompasses my two passions in
life number one social psychology and
number two advancing human rights
so what is social psychology you might
ask social psychology is the study of
how people interact with groups we study
the abcs effect behavior and cognition
we study why you don’t like that
professor who has the worst lectures we
study how leave some pure good and pure
evil affect how everyone goes about
their daily life and we study prejudice
towards gays towards blacks towards
women towards gender non-conforming
individuals just to name a few but that
line of research gets me into my second
great love advancing human rights Here I
am at last year’s little Apple Pride
Parade underneath the American flag it
was a wonderful time and I am looking
forward to the parade this year but I
want to see a just world my version of
just world is where everyone is treated
equally no matter what I know that’s
probably not going to happen at least
within my lifetime so ideally I want to
see a world where people are not judged
based on their group identity if they
identify as gay they can identify as gay
without any negative repercussions but
let me reframe and refocus a little bit
from me to the actual research
discussing transgender individuals and
gender non-conforming individuals so
there are two sides of this research
there are the perceiver side and the
target side perceivers are the ones
doing or not doing actions to the
targets targets in this instance are
gender non-conforming individuals who
are receiving or not receiving the
perceptions of people I have been
focusing on the perceiver side for the
past two years and I want to spend the
next 20 40 60 years of my career looking
at this side of research because
everyone has perceptions whether they’re
positive negative and different or you
just don’t know they’re all perceptions
of these individuals so what have we
learned in the past 40 years of research
on gender non-conforming individuals and
how people perceive them well it might
be high insight bias at work but we
haven’t really learned stuff that’s not
common sense we learned that people who
are more blatantly transphobic Allah
going into an alley and beating up
person who identifies as transgender are
a little more transphobic than those who
are not willing to do that
we also learned that people have similar
attitudes towards lesbians and gays as I
do to transgender men and transgender
women but I have to emphasize that
people are more have more favorable
views towards gays and lesbians than
they do towards transgender men and
women and we learned that people really
don’t know much about gender
non-conforming individuals and previous
research has shown that people really
don’t like what they don’t know so if
any of you have taken a philosophy or
logic class here at k-state probably
helped me with the following efference
that people don’t like gender
non-conforming individuals because they
don’t know too much about them but
zooming back out reframing and
refocusing yet again you might remember
that I said that it’s only half the
battle the other side is targets targets
are those who are receiving or not
receiving the prejudice and the
reframing and refocusing of this
research hasn’t drastically changed in
past twenty thirty years but I do want
to point out that one of the major
breakthroughs in this is getting the
public more aware of the difference
between transgender individuals and
transvestites transgender individuals
who are those who are identified as the
opposite gender than what they were
assigned at birth and wear the clothing
of that opposite gender to or adopts the
identified gender to alleviate dysphoria
whereas transvestites are those who wear
the clothing of the opposite gender as a
fetish or to express themselves sexually
but I want to again reframe and refocus
from the background research on
transgender individuals in gender
non-conforming to a case study for a
little bit of a humanizing perspective a
case study that involves my good friend
Alex Alex identifies as a gender which
means that Alex is not a man nor a woman
they just identify as they and as much
as I want to tell Alex one day just sit
them down and say it’s very hard for me
to constantly remember and validate your
gender identity always calling you them
and they as opposed to he and him I just
can’t do that just look at that face
I care about Alex and Alex is a very
human person to me so I don’t want to
cause them discomfort by calling them by
their wrong pronouns so I recently sat
down with Alex had a coffee shop and
interviewed them asking how is life more
difficult for gender non-conforming
individuals like them as opposed to
cisgender people like myself well they
told me that they have to live in this
very binary world that’s they’re either
a man or a woman there’s no third option
there’s no I don’t want these options
there’s no nothing but they also talked
about how agent people are different
than transgender people they’re trying
to fight the perception that a gender is
just trans lights like diet trans they
say that transgender people tend to have
more media representation than a gender
apology no gender-fluid people because
transgender people fit into the gender
binary in an abnormal way whereas a
gender people are just like we do not
need that thank you very much so I
followed that I ended our conversation
by asking if given the opportunity to
through me say something to TEDx mhk
what would you say and they said that
being a gender isn’t their life it’s
just one of many facets of it it’s on
the same level as being white an
engineer or lover of Indian food a
gender does not define Alex and then the
end of our conversation by saying five
words that really spoke with me and like
if threads wasn’t still like smoke
damage I’d probably put this on a
t-shirt but just let us be us which i
think is a very nice sentiment for this
talk increasing empathy among people and
just letting those who want to be who
they are let them be who they are and
why who are we to get in that way but
again to reframe refocuses back to me
unfortunately but I unfortunately want
to change the world this is unfortunate
place to be because I know I probably
can’t not at least in any sub
away but we have a phrase for this in
cognitive dissonance in psychology
called cognitive distance where on one
side of my mind I’m thinking wow look at
all this amazing research and what we
can do just talking about how life could
be better for dinner non-conforming
individuals but then on the other side
of my mind I’m thinking look at all the
people in the world just so resistant to
change
your talk is but a drop in the bucket a
bucket full of the status quo but then
somewhere in the middle there’s like
there’s other part of me that just wants
to bang their heads together and say
that kind of pessimism has no place at
TEDx mhk so I want to step back and ask
you guys question I know you guys all
have a little notepad in golf pencils
I’m going to ask you whether it applies
to my talk or to any other talks days
I’m going to ask you a question that I
ask all my residents when I sit them
down at Cramer dining hall after a long
day of studying I will ask you the
question I ask myself after every
lecture I survive I’m going to ask you
the question that I asked my roommate
after every test he takes I want to ask
you what you learn today and I would
love if you just wrote that down on your
pace paper because I feel like this is a
good question to inspire everyone to
live their fullest and I try to ask
myself it every day because today I
learned that people’s perceptions of
transgender individuals are pretty
similar to lesbians and gays but they
are different and not very better that
was not good English and I apologize I
also learned that I can sprint in
three-inch red heels and it’s kind of
freaky sight have you ever seen it I
pity you if you have but we also learned
that my friend Alex says just let us be
us which i think is a good takeaway from
this not to influence your own what you
learn today but that’s mine my friend
alex has just let us be us but the key
to understanding gender nonconforming is
empathy and empathy is a hard task doing
the right thing is hard being a good
person is hard and I don’t expect every
single person in this world to have that
same gumption to go and make
life better for these individuals but I
want you to stop and ask maybe why
because life is hard for gender
non-conforming individuals and sometimes
it’s hard to empathize with them some of
you might be like me and wonder what the
difference between gender fluid a gender
apology is but again I invite you not to
hate based off this ignorance and if you
can just walk a mile in someone else’s
shoes even if they are ruby red pumps
thank you and good night
[Applause]
you
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