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Why should we talk to children about sex. | Tatiana Nikonova | TEDxNevaRiver


there is an opinion that I do not need here
talk about sex they grow up will take
protesters will understand everything immediately
cool because you know it is on
natural things did you do too
everything turned on the brain
but as we know actually know
Of course this is not all
this one has different practices
serious consequences and I would like to
pestering with a little example i think
you will like the American edition b
released his correspondent on the street
she came out with a sheet of paper on which
there was an image and molested men
she said see this vagina
there are several points on them with numbers and
please tell me
I will remind him only powerful beautiful
tell me what these parts are called
the bodies of the men reacted differently
they honestly tried they know it
in the end it is often encountered as well
as they might from what
theoretical training
there were strange moments there were
truth-like moments
but the problem was not that problem was
in fact it wasn’t there
vagina then they say grapefruit and
this is an ideal illustration of how
we know little about the most important things
which happen our lives
about sex asexuality and our
own bodies and bodies people who
we are surrounded
about what makes snot help us
exist that is our body it
together only our consciousness of our spirit
and we do not know about this nicknamed anything and
we can confuse parts of the body with trouble
seemingly learn all this can be found
biology but that’s not all
because when we talk about sex and
it’s not just what to call
the right part of the body needs to be understood
why do we live with it
because if we look at how
information served schools somehow
information is served in the family we
have discovered
that people get either very bad
information or do not receive
because in Russia, for example, in each
third family
information about sex she is tabooed then
there are people about it in principle not
talk about it don’t talk
so much so that we have formed
vicious circle
such a vicious circle from ignorance and
ignorance boiler room silence she what
if you don’t know anything that of course not
will you talk about it just because
that feel awkward and parents
Of course, very often there is
complexity they would like maybe
tell something but they are afraid of their
authority your stupid kids questions
they unfortunately have become stupid
position parents cat do not understand what
hole and here is this captivity silence she
forms new ignorance ignorance then
the very thing that people can not continue
talk him trade his
partners can’t think about themselves not
can express themselves and express their
feelings can’t talk about their
desires and it all comes from the family
that’s why we need some other
programs
maybe we can’t make a family
we don’t have to force a family at all
how to talk about it but we have to
come up with some way to talk about
having sex because if we don’t think
how to do this we find that we have
too many consequences and consequences
practical sense, they are completely wrong
that we don’t have any knowledge which
we were taught in school they we never
handy but maybe maybe somehow
this flash at the party see
Facebook
problem to the fifth grade let’s say atlas we
it can decide what is not ruled by our
other for example we have high
the highest in russia the highest level
teenage pregnancy
and what has caused the girls do not know how
protect boys do not know how
to be protected are those with which have
who has the uterus and so we will
so tall so that Suslov 6 on
1000 girls but this is about yourself
You can count how much in each school
that is , nickname according to statistics in our
every school will be like they get pregnant
and high school student how to deal with it
let’s see for example the netherlands
we have a holland in which
there is necessarily and sexy
very early education
we have books we don’t have them
let us assume that we are the Netherlands
there is a telecast we still
open and honest fiduciary
conversation and trusting conversation is
means we all recognize that we
something we do not know that something is changing that
tomorrow maybe we will think about some
things are not like today and we can
share your doubts on both sides
and so we give children a tool
tool that will allow them and right
now when they are teenagers and in more
older age
build a more coherent relationship
relationships that they would like and
protect yourself because all the same
teenage pregnancy is not easy
the joy of motherhood unfortunately
teenage pregnancy is in that
the number and the problem because it is harder
and restricting access to education
and if a girl has a young girl
baby then most likely he won’t
having problems with school
go to college what to build somehow
your life and have children then when
I wanted to go and when she was to this
they are ready how it happened by chance
so if we were petting about it
more if we talked about it
more correctly if we had
structured information for different
ages we could talk not about
some kind of abstract knowledge you could
talk about the practical things that
change our lives because adults
people know nothing exactly the same as
current children I run my blog in which
answering questions about sex
already the sixth year and all these years in general
every month
Absolutely does not change current questions in the top
so that people ask this adults
I had to people during this time about
four thousand questions I could not not
all holes you are physically impossible but
people ask about how u don’t kiss
how to explain how the situations of violence
how to save yourself how to protect yourself how
protect your borders
part of your body what to do with the body
another person what they do to everyone
another person is also an important point and
o they very often ask questions which
would actually fly well
they say that before we start
have sex people need to understand
what are the problems with which they can
collide
starting there from 11 12 years before when
they basically arise the idea that
maybe it would be worth doing this and even
people will appear next
will want
and most importantly if we had all these
knowledge is equal if we had this knowledge
during the time because she maybe it’s not
very correct word but during
time when we reached that age
when we can understand what is at stake
We then set about important
wonderful things that allow
have fun getting this
life strengthen relationships better
prepared because now
impressed by the issues
who send me that unfortunately
maybe so many with your people
too early to have sex because not
they know too little about him more
know their brands because they
read instructions to him if you
think that you are not so afraid of you
let’s spend a little now
experiment as you know in Russia
Now I’m hoping for an HIV epidemic
that you know this there are several
main ways how
hiv infection is transmitted one of these is
same sex sex have
quite understandable cf what proportion
same sex sex takes
in HIV transmission
please raise your hands
that this share is 25 cents in
emotions who thinks that 10 percent
you did not go test
because in fact two percent
all 2 percent is same-sex
sexual contacts but actually
the disease affects us all
never know when with whom u
let ‘s face it because we look at
then what is the situation with HIV now in
Russia we will find that it is completely
we have a catastrophic order of one
percent of people have a positive
HIV status many do not know about it
many do not know how and in principle they have
hiv status because never
thought about it because always
thought it was not them with normal
people this does not happen but in reality
Actually when we talk about a thing it’s long
the topic is always seva for not for 18 minutes
and topic for two hours or for two days
he always doesn’t say anything more important
ask yourself why bother about it
talking to children if when we talk about
sex we are there
sex from probably need to say how people
multiply as they get
pleasure but a little about that we
tell you in marriage but in practice those children
who live now for those who are children now
who are the teenagers now they are quite soon
will live in the world they will go to my where
they will have sex with which
may be hiv-positive
almost anyone
because with very high and when
modern propaganda against HIV
being led always usually talk about how
don’t get positive hiv status
while subscription never arises
words condom speak and trust about
love about love for partner what love
protects it of course not true well here
This brand of course will not cry but
the most important thing is not talking about more important
things because but not so much
will you get a positive hiv status
it is important of course nobody wants
such problems with your health but
there is a huge reservoir of cat problems
generally not covered in any way that is
for example, if you are basically
got to live for hiv status what to do
if you are their close positive things
what if you fall in love with a man
positive HIV status how to live if
you don’t know hiv status or you don’t know
dream with your partner like you do
negotiate here you want sex you don’t
know each other’s status
can you call it now is not a
can i use his body have
some of you have a positive
HIV status very many do not know the answers
to these questions and they help and join
but people i talked to because
this is a huge number of questions on
who also need to know the answers because
that this moment in which we will live
besides life is positive that myself
now if you get
antiretroviral therapy is not so
big problem because people with
low top load
they are safe for the surrounding story about
HIV is not about how, by no means
not infected otherwise know everything sang like
Zemfira is sleeping and you will die
from the room
but you can always not bring it up and we
should talk about how children will
live in a world in which they want to love in
which want to start a family in which
they want to be friends and not and know for sure
is it possible to use common dishes or
that and we told the school that it is not
in no case should they
adopt a new structured
information is completely understandable and
consistently and because in fact
actually happening you can
do what they should not know
what if they themselves get help
on HIV status they will not be worthy
people that they do not have exactly the same
rights are like the others and this is also always
applies to sex and sexuality
because at the moment and this
completely inseparable and things are now
sexual intercourse main way
transmissions if we don’t talk about this if
we only talk about love
if we talk only about trust we
we live that I am not a pink pony
but Russia is not a country of pink ponies
so you know we need to change something and
This is a good picture that I like.
I was looking for a long time I was looking for an image
beautiful future and had that
most films about the future she is not
very dark all the cool pictures
who found they always talk about
some kind of horror and i thought about how
go you blame your idea of
future u like i would see him i
I think that the choice that we are with you
to do that is what some would have you
what kind of future do we want
want to have a future in cat
children will have full information
who grow up in adults who
will have true information in all
branches of knowledge that need
about everything important that happens to them and
they can manage it they can
help information change the world for the better
side they can change their lives
change your life and your life and life
surrounding so they wish they could
get rid of adversity
they can make themselves safer
the world because we cannot in others
people build a safe world this
impossible but u can give
tools for people to be
reserved information this is how lotta is
weapon and at the same time it is a window to the world
at the same time maybe you want another
the future in which people would be
littered and and in which I do not know ignorance
would make them people who though
just push others around
wrong choice and this choice which
we have to do on our own we want
the future where people will experience
trust in each other can openly
talk about everything 02 and honest to everyone
for which love and happiness will be very
important values
it will be the world we will
bullying which information will
unavailable for many
and it will not be in such
events like now would probably
never came i think that very
important and very important 2 children
leave honest talk open speaks
confidentially not afraid to seem not
those people who know everything
we can’t know everything we can together
go and here is the journey and together
find out what really is true
very difficult question because when we
also learn something we need both
self understand what information
we wanted to get need to realize
areas of lack of knowledge
need to find good sources
you can filter it all out so that people
this is not capable therefore we need
do it all together we need to do in
family
but need to do at school we need to do
it’s with loved ones we need to help a friend
a friend and the more information we have
will be the more opportunities we have
do anything else to it always
big choice
the more choices the more possibilities
change something for the better and i
I think that those people who are now 5 years old
or 15 and that will be in 20 years
manage our life and we will
as adults and we will be active and but
the role will be no longer with us we would like
probably so that they were people from
first option
people who watch the future people
which nothing they do not close
these little white blinders these people
who are honest with themselves and sexy
education
certainly raises these questions
because the main thing that he gives is not
talk about how sex is from
question why you need
what does he give you in your life what are you
can you achieve such a mount
relationship that he brings your already have
how it enriches life what problems
may occur
what you need to think about to these
problems will not arise as these problems
can you decide some of your rights that
other people ‘s rights are
bridge to a broader understanding of the world
because when we talk about rights we
talking about the rights of all people and the rights of all
children from 5 to 15
get all the information that made
would them armed who would protect and
so I remind you there would be a window to the world
[applause]
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