okay honey wash day I am lafon and again
before I begin I would like to apologize
for speaking before my elders today and
to start I’m going to introduce you to a
woman named Karen as I too have never
met a baby Karen Karen grew up in
long-term foster care she was raised in
a middle-class neighborhood where every
third fence was white picket and lucky
her she was with the same family for 16
years today we’re gonna look at just how
lucky Karen was Karen was born a ward of
the state as her mother was already a
foster child herself her mother decided
to go back to high school and Karen went
to her long-term foster home at 16
months old from 16 months to 6 years old
unfortunately Karen’s mom didn’t have
much contact and she had none from her
father and from four years old to 14 is
what she remembers she felt very
forgotten as many birthdays were past
not even a happy birthday when she woke
up in the morning she was often told you
are so pitiful look at you you’re so
homely you should be glad to be here
because your real family didn’t want you
you know what was really pitiful her
Christmas presents at six years old her
mom thought she could have another
chance to get Karen back after all she
was in a new marriage with a new child
and enlisted in the military within two
months of this new beginning
Karen woke to find her stepfather
sexually assaulting her so she went to
run and look for her mom
her mom was not home and unfortunately
she had to wait on the cold hardwood
floor underneath the table where she
felt the chairs would protect her
within a few days her social worker flew
down hugged her told her she was gonna
be safe and flew her out of there the
following summer her father also in a
new marriage with a new child wanted to
spend a couple weeks with Karen she was
out on the ranch playing on the hay
bales with her new friend and when she
started to head end for dinner right
before they got to the house they heard
her father screaming seemingly
intoxicated and her pretty new stepmom
was crying they stood outside for a
couple hours eventually when they heard
him the shotgun hand it to her
stepmom and nobody died that night
however as traumatic as this was she
also had to hear them have sexual
relations for the rest of the evening so
the next day she ran away she tried to
hitchhike now remember she’s seven years
old she tried to hitchhike 275 miles
back to her foster parents home and the
lady she ran to instead gave her back to
her dad and that’s when she started to
pray God was listening to gosh Allah her
ancestors Jesus as she was returned to
during her elementary years mind you we
all have children 6 to 11 years old she
dealt with it she was the only child in
her class that was of a different race
so the kids would spit at her because
she was different and they would run
away from her on the playground because
she was so ugly and during these years
not many stepped up however she did have
a physical education teacher the janitor
and a principal who all made her feel
like she was a little bit worthy and it
was enough to get her through one day a
family member who had a little boy came
over he was 11 she was 9 he said let’s
play house so she was pretty excited so
she grabs her Barbie dolls and
unfortunately it wasn’t the house that
she had thought it would be
he assaulted her and she struggled
enough and he finally gave up but not
before he said don’t worry you tell
anyone you’re just the foster kid
they’re never gonna believe you from the
ages of 9 10 and 11 Karen got to go to a
camp this is where she became culturally
aware she started to find an identity
and she felt empowered and the camp
counselors gave her lifelong lessons
that stayed with her throughout her
entire life she started to exist and
also at 10 years old her aunt whose
bedrooms was across the hall since she’d
been 16 months old started to use
Karen’s body for practice and she would
give her hickeys in inconspicuous areas
from 11 to 15 years old Karen started to
join athletics she was more accepted by
her peers and her coaches were extremely
supportive of her she started to
positively exist and then she met a boy
he gave her enough attention so she fell
in love and eventually fell pregnant and
also into depression as she realized her
child was not going to have a father so
she goes through her pregnancy her uncle
knocks on her door I’m having bad
nightmares can I come sleep on your
floor she lets him in and instead he
came to her bed and attempted to molest
a young 16 year old Karen she went to
her foster mother told she said please
don’t tell forgive him so she called a
friend a friend picked her up friend’s
mother gave Karen a safe place for the
summer and Karen had the baby that fall
now fast forward to her senior year with
child her social worker stepped in and
said okay let’s get you guys your own
place she taught her the life skills of
being a young adult car insurance bills
college applications and eventually her
social worker and her outside
work of support all got to watch Karen
cross the stage and get her college
degree now friends this is all I’m gonna
share about Karen’s life today she’s
doing well
she’s here and she continuously working
on her healing do you think that I told
you about Karen’s story to show her
survivorship absolutely however this is
about the assaulters the rapists the
aggressors the saviors the mentors and
the elders and not only how’d this
happen to Karen but how did this happen
to our entire community
how did we get here how did we go from a
chioce by a working together on building
strengths values and character to step
parents parents friends and extended
family assaulting violating and
deserting one another our society let
Karen down and her mother what about her
father
he didn’t just one day wake up an abuser
and an alcoholic the the foster family
where was the value of Karen’s life to
them our baby boomers are dying our Gen
Xers Millennials Centennial’s all have
an ethical and moral dilemma every day
because of social media sexting texting
and lack of face to face conversation
social media is a weapon of mass
confusion and destruction of
generational family values social media
creates immediate access and an illusion
of reality our kids are coming of age at
8 9 and 10 on Twitter and Instagram when
we used to come of age five years later
in our teens this sounds like a weapon
of mass destruction on our familial
values familial structures that were
created by the respect and the wisdom of
our elders structures that would not
have led
the Karen’s down in the world so let’s
talk about that thing called respect
people are dying for it they’re killing
each other on the streets for it you
disrespected me I’m gonna kill you don’t
you talk about my mom she she’s out
don’t ever talk to her again she
disrespected the family nowadays this
includes she disrespected my facebook
page she has a different stance than I
do
she ain’t my friend no more unfriend
respect to tribal people encompasses
this tribal people believe we’re an
integral part of nature not wishing to
control her vissa toots but wanting to
live in harmony with her we are
powerless and seek pity from wonka Tonka
when we are faced with famine danger and
the unexplainable we pray every object
has a spirit and that spirit is walk on
which is sacred the earth the stones the
trees the water all have a spirit the
corn and the spirit never dies therefore
we give offerings to the spirits when
when what when we need help when we need
guidance we believe that we are born
with the ancestral power of our
ancestors from hundreds of years ago the
corn the stones the trees the water that
is in all of our DNA and for some reason
we are coming to a crossroads of
traditions and respect to potentially
nothing merriam-webster says an elder is
one of older age someone who is born
before you an earlier time period
archaic just kidding
to us tribal people our elders are not
just retired and old they actually never
stop working for their family they have
wok shop a which is wisdom our elders
teach us the steps of wisdom every day
and they say go on that hunt provide
food and meat for your tota and with
this you gained the wisdom of generosity
we’ll go to a wake or a family function
and the own cheese the grandmas will say
go go serve in that serving line and
make sure the elders and the babies are
served first the wakaya
the wakaya means the sacred little ones
these two generations come before
everybody else because the Wekiva are
the key to the future and our elders are
the key to our past and us in the middle
we protect that we put them first
because we are the creators of that
future and we are the protectors of the
wisdom of the past this is like real
life time traveling so with this and the
here and now
I’d like you to think about this we
tribal people our elders start teaching
us at a young age from the time we can
start comprehension look up to your
cousin look what she’s doing and then
when we start getting into those ages
they say oh look your baby cousins are
watching you you better be mindful of
your actions
this starts when you’re born when you
are a walk ayah and it and you’re always
looking up to someone one year to two
years to 50 years older than you so it’s
every day that we began our eldership
our our our path to being an elder so to
apply this to the here and now 13 year
olds can be elders to 7 to 11 12 year
olds that 11 year old didn’t need to
assault a nine year old Karen
what if he had an active bystander or
another elder in his life
those 13 to 16 year olds they can go
start mowing grandma’s yard for free
they can comb grandma’s hair they can
play basketball they can teach a new
skill how about those 18 to 21 year olds
that 18 year old aunt didn’t need to
give Karen hickeys and that 21 year old
stepfather didn’t need to make her me to
victim at the age of six this is where
you take your take your nieces and
nephews for a car ride take them to
practice show up to their basketball
games check on your parents how about
those 25 year olds think of all those
younger ages below you that you can
empower this is where younger ages see
you make decisions stick to decisions
education if that’s your path and then
those 35 year olds this is where they’re
younger people see all of that work and
those decisions that you made in your 20
start to pay off that 35 year old
physical education teacher was there for
Karen those 25 year old camp counselors
made an impact the 50 year olds your
start to come into the workshop may your
wisdom or your wounds may this is where
you can start time-traveling take your
kids to your origins show them where
you’re from show them the traditions
it’s good to talk about things but
showing is the key you could be that
social worker that helped save a
Forgotten child named Karen or that
mother who gave her safe place during
the summer so I want you guys to
remember this you can be tribal because
we are a tribe every day we have the
power to tell our peers and the youth
the positive actions that they can take
to create pivotal moments starting today
for our society
and I’m going to leave you with this [Applause]
before I begin I would like to apologize
for speaking before my elders today and
to start I’m going to introduce you to a
woman named Karen as I too have never
met a baby Karen Karen grew up in
long-term foster care she was raised in
a middle-class neighborhood where every
third fence was white picket and lucky
her she was with the same family for 16
years today we’re gonna look at just how
lucky Karen was Karen was born a ward of
the state as her mother was already a
foster child herself her mother decided
to go back to high school and Karen went
to her long-term foster home at 16
months old from 16 months to 6 years old
unfortunately Karen’s mom didn’t have
much contact and she had none from her
father and from four years old to 14 is
what she remembers she felt very
forgotten as many birthdays were past
not even a happy birthday when she woke
up in the morning she was often told you
are so pitiful look at you you’re so
homely you should be glad to be here
because your real family didn’t want you
you know what was really pitiful her
Christmas presents at six years old her
mom thought she could have another
chance to get Karen back after all she
was in a new marriage with a new child
and enlisted in the military within two
months of this new beginning
Karen woke to find her stepfather
sexually assaulting her so she went to
run and look for her mom
her mom was not home and unfortunately
she had to wait on the cold hardwood
floor underneath the table where she
felt the chairs would protect her
within a few days her social worker flew
down hugged her told her she was gonna
be safe and flew her out of there the
following summer her father also in a
new marriage with a new child wanted to
spend a couple weeks with Karen she was
out on the ranch playing on the hay
bales with her new friend and when she
started to head end for dinner right
before they got to the house they heard
her father screaming seemingly
intoxicated and her pretty new stepmom
was crying they stood outside for a
couple hours eventually when they heard
him the shotgun hand it to her
stepmom and nobody died that night
however as traumatic as this was she
also had to hear them have sexual
relations for the rest of the evening so
the next day she ran away she tried to
hitchhike now remember she’s seven years
old she tried to hitchhike 275 miles
back to her foster parents home and the
lady she ran to instead gave her back to
her dad and that’s when she started to
pray God was listening to gosh Allah her
ancestors Jesus as she was returned to
during her elementary years mind you we
all have children 6 to 11 years old she
dealt with it she was the only child in
her class that was of a different race
so the kids would spit at her because
she was different and they would run
away from her on the playground because
she was so ugly and during these years
not many stepped up however she did have
a physical education teacher the janitor
and a principal who all made her feel
like she was a little bit worthy and it
was enough to get her through one day a
family member who had a little boy came
over he was 11 she was 9 he said let’s
play house so she was pretty excited so
she grabs her Barbie dolls and
unfortunately it wasn’t the house that
she had thought it would be
he assaulted her and she struggled
enough and he finally gave up but not
before he said don’t worry you tell
anyone you’re just the foster kid
they’re never gonna believe you from the
ages of 9 10 and 11 Karen got to go to a
camp this is where she became culturally
aware she started to find an identity
and she felt empowered and the camp
counselors gave her lifelong lessons
that stayed with her throughout her
entire life she started to exist and
also at 10 years old her aunt whose
bedrooms was across the hall since she’d
been 16 months old started to use
Karen’s body for practice and she would
give her hickeys in inconspicuous areas
from 11 to 15 years old Karen started to
join athletics she was more accepted by
her peers and her coaches were extremely
supportive of her she started to
positively exist and then she met a boy
he gave her enough attention so she fell
in love and eventually fell pregnant and
also into depression as she realized her
child was not going to have a father so
she goes through her pregnancy her uncle
knocks on her door I’m having bad
nightmares can I come sleep on your
floor she lets him in and instead he
came to her bed and attempted to molest
a young 16 year old Karen she went to
her foster mother told she said please
don’t tell forgive him so she called a
friend a friend picked her up friend’s
mother gave Karen a safe place for the
summer and Karen had the baby that fall
now fast forward to her senior year with
child her social worker stepped in and
said okay let’s get you guys your own
place she taught her the life skills of
being a young adult car insurance bills
college applications and eventually her
social worker and her outside
work of support all got to watch Karen
cross the stage and get her college
degree now friends this is all I’m gonna
share about Karen’s life today she’s
doing well
she’s here and she continuously working
on her healing do you think that I told
you about Karen’s story to show her
survivorship absolutely however this is
about the assaulters the rapists the
aggressors the saviors the mentors and
the elders and not only how’d this
happen to Karen but how did this happen
to our entire community
how did we get here how did we go from a
chioce by a working together on building
strengths values and character to step
parents parents friends and extended
family assaulting violating and
deserting one another our society let
Karen down and her mother what about her
father
he didn’t just one day wake up an abuser
and an alcoholic the the foster family
where was the value of Karen’s life to
them our baby boomers are dying our Gen
Xers Millennials Centennial’s all have
an ethical and moral dilemma every day
because of social media sexting texting
and lack of face to face conversation
social media is a weapon of mass
confusion and destruction of
generational family values social media
creates immediate access and an illusion
of reality our kids are coming of age at
8 9 and 10 on Twitter and Instagram when
we used to come of age five years later
in our teens this sounds like a weapon
of mass destruction on our familial
values familial structures that were
created by the respect and the wisdom of
our elders structures that would not
have led
the Karen’s down in the world so let’s
talk about that thing called respect
people are dying for it they’re killing
each other on the streets for it you
disrespected me I’m gonna kill you don’t
you talk about my mom she she’s out
don’t ever talk to her again she
disrespected the family nowadays this
includes she disrespected my facebook
page she has a different stance than I
do
she ain’t my friend no more unfriend
respect to tribal people encompasses
this tribal people believe we’re an
integral part of nature not wishing to
control her vissa toots but wanting to
live in harmony with her we are
powerless and seek pity from wonka Tonka
when we are faced with famine danger and
the unexplainable we pray every object
has a spirit and that spirit is walk on
which is sacred the earth the stones the
trees the water all have a spirit the
corn and the spirit never dies therefore
we give offerings to the spirits when
when what when we need help when we need
guidance we believe that we are born
with the ancestral power of our
ancestors from hundreds of years ago the
corn the stones the trees the water that
is in all of our DNA and for some reason
we are coming to a crossroads of
traditions and respect to potentially
nothing merriam-webster says an elder is
one of older age someone who is born
before you an earlier time period
archaic just kidding
to us tribal people our elders are not
just retired and old they actually never
stop working for their family they have
wok shop a which is wisdom our elders
teach us the steps of wisdom every day
and they say go on that hunt provide
food and meat for your tota and with
this you gained the wisdom of generosity
we’ll go to a wake or a family function
and the own cheese the grandmas will say
go go serve in that serving line and
make sure the elders and the babies are
served first the wakaya
the wakaya means the sacred little ones
these two generations come before
everybody else because the Wekiva are
the key to the future and our elders are
the key to our past and us in the middle
we protect that we put them first
because we are the creators of that
future and we are the protectors of the
wisdom of the past this is like real
life time traveling so with this and the
here and now
I’d like you to think about this we
tribal people our elders start teaching
us at a young age from the time we can
start comprehension look up to your
cousin look what she’s doing and then
when we start getting into those ages
they say oh look your baby cousins are
watching you you better be mindful of
your actions
this starts when you’re born when you
are a walk ayah and it and you’re always
looking up to someone one year to two
years to 50 years older than you so it’s
every day that we began our eldership
our our our path to being an elder so to
apply this to the here and now 13 year
olds can be elders to 7 to 11 12 year
olds that 11 year old didn’t need to
assault a nine year old Karen
what if he had an active bystander or
another elder in his life
those 13 to 16 year olds they can go
start mowing grandma’s yard for free
they can comb grandma’s hair they can
play basketball they can teach a new
skill how about those 18 to 21 year olds
that 18 year old aunt didn’t need to
give Karen hickeys and that 21 year old
stepfather didn’t need to make her me to
victim at the age of six this is where
you take your take your nieces and
nephews for a car ride take them to
practice show up to their basketball
games check on your parents how about
those 25 year olds think of all those
younger ages below you that you can
empower this is where younger ages see
you make decisions stick to decisions
education if that’s your path and then
those 35 year olds this is where they’re
younger people see all of that work and
those decisions that you made in your 20
start to pay off that 35 year old
physical education teacher was there for
Karen those 25 year old camp counselors
made an impact the 50 year olds your
start to come into the workshop may your
wisdom or your wounds may this is where
you can start time-traveling take your
kids to your origins show them where
you’re from show them the traditions
it’s good to talk about things but
showing is the key you could be that
social worker that helped save a
Forgotten child named Karen or that
mother who gave her safe place during
the summer so I want you guys to
remember this you can be tribal because
we are a tribe every day we have the
power to tell our peers and the youth
the positive actions that they can take
to create pivotal moments starting today
for our society
and I’m going to leave you with this [Applause]
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