I have 83 protons what does this text
mean to you now if you like me aren’t
very good at chemistry it probably won’t
make very much sense because it
certainly did not make a lot of sense to
me
good evening everyone I’m Barton and
this is my story of emergence I remember
this was one Sunday afternoon and was
just like any regular Sunday I was
scrolling through my phone and a text
message from a friend popped in that
text said I had 83 protons naturally I
was very very confused so I turned to
Google and what the search results
turned out turned up was a mention to
bismuth everything was clear as mud
because bismuth seemed to have nothing
to do with that conversation after a few
more minutes she finally gave up and
told me she was bisexual I read the text
over and over again I was stunned I
responded with a cliche and generic I’ll
support you and always be there for you
which she later told me felt which she
later told me she felt like I was
disgusted and confused because
everything at that moment felt so
foreign yes I’d learned about the LGBTQ
community at school and yes I’d said
before that I was an ally but the issues
facing the LGBTQ community is so distant
so irrelevant everyone that I knew and
everyone around me was cisgender and
straight my world was restricted to what
was around me and her coming-out was a
wake-up call in the past I wasn’t
exactly openly homophobic but after some
reflecting I know that held some pretty
discriminatory beliefs it should be
noted that homophobia is
choice though maybe not always a
conscious one because we’re always under
the influence of the people and events
around us falling into the traps of
stereotypes can be easy especially if
you don’t know the group or members of
that group that well I used to think
that LGBTQ was a choice and I stood
behind the gender binary I used to think
being gay was an equivalent of being
feminine if you can name a stereotype I
probably had it after some reflecting
after the days months and almost a year
after her coming-out I boiled this whole
experience down to just one thing and
what it is is that I began to see the
LGBT LGBTQ community has people not just
a faceless mass a faceless crowd I also
I also dedicated myself to becoming a
better Ally to become more knowledgeable
so I can educate others and spread the
awareness previously I did not know the
importance of using the correct pronouns
now for many of us pronouns may seem
like something very trivial and very
minor however when you think about it
they are a way of our of us expressing
our gender identity what if we
intentionally use the incorrect pronouns
for Ana for somebody we’re essentially
invalidating their gender identity and
saying no you’re not what you say you
are you’re actually this understanding
the importance of using the correct
pronouns is easy and respecting them is
easy too whether they be he him she her
or they them I previously did not
understand the difference between
bisexuality and pansexuality and a big
part of this is attributed to the fact I
stood behind the gender binary and I
thought there were only two genders as
there is
I also had difficulty digesting the idea
of gender 9 done nonconformity and
gender non-binary thankfully I was
surrounded by people who are answering
my questions on these topics without any
judgment no matter how boring or
offensive they may have seemed at that
time now New York and San Diego pride
are new items on my bucket list
I’ve also undergone a significant
personal ideology ideological change I’m
now I’m now a lot more tolerant and
accepting of the LGBTQ community in
general the community no longer seem
things were going well I guess you could
say and that was when I stopped being a
lie because this summer I told my
friends that I’m by myself always happen
always will be and I’m grateful to this
day that I’ve been met with
overwhelmingly positive responses it’s
something that I’ve helped for I felt
for a while but never cared to attach a
label because it seemed contradictory to
my previous beliefs instead of embracing
Who I am
I rejected my sexuality without any
further thought I try to mold myself
into a society expected of me to be you
could say I internalized the homophobia
I experienced the fear of rejection by
family members the fear of
discrimination makes it difficult for
LGBTQ individuals to be to practice self
compassion and stay true to themselves
casual and subconscious homophobia as
well as institutional homophobia is
something that occurs on a daily basis
this instills a hostile environment for
our LGBTQ individuals like me this makes
coming out for example an impossible or
harrowing experience realizing – I’m on
the spectrum or LGBTQ felt like a huge
relief and I would and I was and was
satisfying to know that I’m not in
prison by our societal expectations
disarming homophobia is a lot simpler
than it sounds although it may be
difficult to change our previously held
ideologies it is only a matter of poking
your head out of our secluded hiding
places and looking past our preconceived
notions in a world like today’s it is
easy to forget that there are so much
more that brings us together then what
sets us apart and it is completely
normal to not care about this issue
because this seems distant or irrelevant
or just not relatable to our lives
however when it faces attached is no
possible to ignore the 41% of
transgender teenagers who have attempted
suicide at some point in their lives it
is no longer possible to ignore the
children who are killed or abused by
their families simply because of who
they are it never hurts us to learn more
and to become more aware of the world
around us everybody starts at a point of
not knowing and not caring this is not
shameful and in fact it is only shameful
when we actively ignore information and
when we actively shut ourselves off from
the outside world because for what it’s
worth
ignorance isn’t bliss for that one
summer day I had I changed a more
hateful ideology to a much more
accepting one life is short the world is
big we can’t afford to waste time
marinating in our own prejudices love
and acceptance that’s free it doesn’t
cost anybody anything sometimes we are
so deeply entrenched in our previous
beliefs that we acted that we stand
behind them and refuse to acquire
knowledge that will prove them otherwise
poke poke your head out once in a while
you may just find something that will
change your life forever for the better
why would you choose to reject when we
can choose to love tonight I challenge
you to fill the rule with love and do
that through today tomorrow and the rest
of your lives thank you [Applause]
mean to you now if you like me aren’t
very good at chemistry it probably won’t
make very much sense because it
certainly did not make a lot of sense to
me
good evening everyone I’m Barton and
this is my story of emergence I remember
this was one Sunday afternoon and was
just like any regular Sunday I was
scrolling through my phone and a text
message from a friend popped in that
text said I had 83 protons naturally I
was very very confused so I turned to
Google and what the search results
turned out turned up was a mention to
bismuth everything was clear as mud
because bismuth seemed to have nothing
to do with that conversation after a few
more minutes she finally gave up and
told me she was bisexual I read the text
over and over again I was stunned I
responded with a cliche and generic I’ll
support you and always be there for you
which she later told me felt which she
later told me she felt like I was
disgusted and confused because
everything at that moment felt so
foreign yes I’d learned about the LGBTQ
community at school and yes I’d said
before that I was an ally but the issues
facing the LGBTQ community is so distant
so irrelevant everyone that I knew and
everyone around me was cisgender and
straight my world was restricted to what
was around me and her coming-out was a
wake-up call in the past I wasn’t
exactly openly homophobic but after some
reflecting I know that held some pretty
discriminatory beliefs it should be
noted that homophobia is
choice though maybe not always a
conscious one because we’re always under
the influence of the people and events
around us falling into the traps of
stereotypes can be easy especially if
you don’t know the group or members of
that group that well I used to think
that LGBTQ was a choice and I stood
behind the gender binary I used to think
being gay was an equivalent of being
feminine if you can name a stereotype I
probably had it after some reflecting
after the days months and almost a year
after her coming-out I boiled this whole
experience down to just one thing and
what it is is that I began to see the
LGBT LGBTQ community has people not just
a faceless mass a faceless crowd I also
I also dedicated myself to becoming a
better Ally to become more knowledgeable
so I can educate others and spread the
awareness previously I did not know the
importance of using the correct pronouns
now for many of us pronouns may seem
like something very trivial and very
minor however when you think about it
they are a way of our of us expressing
our gender identity what if we
intentionally use the incorrect pronouns
for Ana for somebody we’re essentially
invalidating their gender identity and
saying no you’re not what you say you
are you’re actually this understanding
the importance of using the correct
pronouns is easy and respecting them is
easy too whether they be he him she her
or they them I previously did not
understand the difference between
bisexuality and pansexuality and a big
part of this is attributed to the fact I
stood behind the gender binary and I
thought there were only two genders as
there is
I also had difficulty digesting the idea
of gender 9 done nonconformity and
gender non-binary thankfully I was
surrounded by people who are answering
my questions on these topics without any
judgment no matter how boring or
offensive they may have seemed at that
time now New York and San Diego pride
are new items on my bucket list
I’ve also undergone a significant
personal ideology ideological change I’m
now I’m now a lot more tolerant and
accepting of the LGBTQ community in
general the community no longer seem
things were going well I guess you could
say and that was when I stopped being a
lie because this summer I told my
friends that I’m by myself always happen
always will be and I’m grateful to this
day that I’ve been met with
overwhelmingly positive responses it’s
something that I’ve helped for I felt
for a while but never cared to attach a
label because it seemed contradictory to
my previous beliefs instead of embracing
Who I am
I rejected my sexuality without any
further thought I try to mold myself
into a society expected of me to be you
could say I internalized the homophobia
I experienced the fear of rejection by
family members the fear of
discrimination makes it difficult for
LGBTQ individuals to be to practice self
compassion and stay true to themselves
casual and subconscious homophobia as
well as institutional homophobia is
something that occurs on a daily basis
this instills a hostile environment for
our LGBTQ individuals like me this makes
coming out for example an impossible or
harrowing experience realizing – I’m on
the spectrum or LGBTQ felt like a huge
relief and I would and I was and was
satisfying to know that I’m not in
prison by our societal expectations
disarming homophobia is a lot simpler
than it sounds although it may be
difficult to change our previously held
ideologies it is only a matter of poking
your head out of our secluded hiding
places and looking past our preconceived
notions in a world like today’s it is
easy to forget that there are so much
more that brings us together then what
sets us apart and it is completely
normal to not care about this issue
because this seems distant or irrelevant
or just not relatable to our lives
however when it faces attached is no
possible to ignore the 41% of
transgender teenagers who have attempted
suicide at some point in their lives it
is no longer possible to ignore the
children who are killed or abused by
their families simply because of who
they are it never hurts us to learn more
and to become more aware of the world
around us everybody starts at a point of
not knowing and not caring this is not
shameful and in fact it is only shameful
when we actively ignore information and
when we actively shut ourselves off from
the outside world because for what it’s
worth
ignorance isn’t bliss for that one
summer day I had I changed a more
hateful ideology to a much more
accepting one life is short the world is
big we can’t afford to waste time
marinating in our own prejudices love
and acceptance that’s free it doesn’t
cost anybody anything sometimes we are
so deeply entrenched in our previous
beliefs that we acted that we stand
behind them and refuse to acquire
knowledge that will prove them otherwise
poke poke your head out once in a while
you may just find something that will
change your life forever for the better
why would you choose to reject when we
can choose to love tonight I challenge
you to fill the rule with love and do
that through today tomorrow and the rest
of your lives thank you [Applause]
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