I’m so proud of her for pronouncing my
name properly
um well lovely there all of you guys to
have me thank you so much
mine is a story of death and love and
how a community was built out of thin
air that saved the life of a dying man
and that of my own it actually goes back
to my childhood my grandmother was one
of the Parisian ladies who lunch she so
desperately wanted a girly-girl
granddaughter unfortunately I was a bit
of a tomboy that’s right I refused to
wear dresses I liked to play with boys
click frogs climb trees she was so
frustrated with me on my 4th birthday
she threw a party for me and insisted
that after I had people who attended I
would write thank you cards to everybody
that participated and that really stuck
with me that act of gratitude now fast
forward to my 20s when I really liked to
play with boys I found a vocation in law
enforcement strategy at an organization
that build statistical models and
software solutions for governments all
around the world I traveled the globe
and lived out of these three suitcases
helping solve crime with a group of
individuals that was very elite and I
was very honored to work with them back
then most officers had this cool thing
called a fax machine the you younger
people in the audience a mobile phone
looked like this and the computers that
we utilized looked like something out of
a movie I was working with some of the
best and brightest minds around the
world people who are at the top of their
game in research statistics machine
learning artificial intelligence human
factors criminology I mean these people
were PhDs two and three times over MBAs
you know we were building things like
anti-terrorism models legal software for
the
intelligence community think FBI CIA mi6
right in our downtime though we got to
know one another
authentically in places such as chat
rooms and in the walled garden of
intranets I learned the name of their
spouses I learned when they were giving
birth to their first children their
interests their political affiliations
what types of cars they were driving
what their hobbies were we shared both
the triumphs and tragedies of everyday
life I would send birthday cards and
anniversary cards and bat mitzvah cards
all over the world to my friends my
colleagues we played online games and
followed one another as we shared what
we were passionate about on electronic
bulletin boards those that were
available to us at the time we found
common ground and mutual respect see
back then there was no LinkedIn there
was no snapchat no Facebook no Instagram
all the while we were creating strong
relationships with one another and we
were doing it virtually it’s called
social capital it’s defined as the
networks of relationships among people
who live and work in a particular
society enabling that society to
function effectively here’s a good
example while on an assignment in
Georgia I complained to one of my
colleagues that I hadn’t had decent
French food and ages and he was kind
enough to recommend a place online he
said this great French cafe it’s in a
quiet city neighborhood in Atlanta
you’ll love it I was so thrilled to try
this restaurant the moment I walked in I
could see
beautiful paintings of jazz musicians
and posters and on the menu my absolute
favorite salad nicoise the waiter was a
tall sort of attractive European Asian
mix of a man and he was overly attentive
he came and asked me about my food every
time I put a fork full of food in my
mouth at the end of the meal I was eager
to get back to my hotel wanted to
discover a
more about Lana the city and ask for the
bill when it arrived it had nothing but
zeros I thought this is the oddest thing
I walked up to him I tapped him on the
shoulder and I said you know there must
be something wrong he said no no no he
said um I took care of your lunch in
hopes that you’ll let me buy your dinner
and that’s how I met George George was
an entrepreneur he was well on his way
to owning one of the hippest and coolest
night Cubs in the country they were
mentioned in Esquire magazine he got the
opportunity to go to the Playboy Mansion
I mean this place was the place to be in
the 90s now if you’ve never dated an
entrepreneur I have to tell you there’s
nothing more romantic in my humble
opinion I highly recommend it there’s
nothing like seeing somebody’s dream
come to a reality
ours was a lovely courtship and soon I
found myself moving to Georgia and
becoming engaged he was a cheeky fellow
yeah
shortly after our engagement and I was
just so madly in love with this guy I’m
telling you as far as I was concerned he
hung the moon surely after our
engagement George got sick he was
diagnosed with something I couldn’t even
pronounce I went to libraries I tried to
search things out in the online
communities that were available to me
finally I shared my very personal
situation completely vulnerable with my
community unaware of what I was dealing
with I asked them for help
and before I knew it they were offering
to connect me with people all around the
world people that they’d known in
university people that they knew from
the research communities people that
they graduated school with by being
completely vulnerable I was welcomed
into their private rolodexes people
they’d known for decades
one such gentleman was at Quantico and
he introduced me to somebody
to school with I remember the beginning
of the conversation was something like
this he said uh you know I know the guy
who’s head of cancer research at MD
Anderson in Houston do you want to meet
him
uh yeah soon George was properly
diagnosed with advanced stage stomach
cancer and as George and I went through
his illness together you know we learned
from my newly formed connections and
friends about things like macrobiotic
cooking vegan diets you know Chinese
herbs and eastern and western
philosophies and therapies and each time
we tried one of these I would let that
person who recommended it know how we
did I would give them updates
I would I would write thank-you cards in
an act to just express my gratitude my
community had become let me get back to
this my community had become an
ecosystem but it was my ecosystem
thanks to my community George lived
another four years until a misdiagnosis
caused him to slip into a coma and pass
in a matter of a few days
you see dying is not a technical glitch
of the human operating system it’s a
feature it’s the only prediction we can
make at Birth that we can completely
Bank on at the time I would cry in
meetings friends would call to check in
on me and halfway through a sentence I
would just break down in tears cancer
and death are not easy topics to deal
with couples we’d met throughout our
courtship people we’d go to dinner with
have movie nights with and so on and so
forth stopped inviting me to things I
remember on one such occasion a
girlfriend called on a Thursday night to
say well the Saturday night potluck
supper you know it’s couples only so I
don’t think it would be a good idea for
you to attend at times the bereaved are
often treated like those to whom
something unnatural or disgraceful has
occurred people avoid them don’t invite
them out fall silent when they enter the
when they most need community and at
this point I thought as though every
door was closed to me so I created my
own door
I was fearless but scared witless at the
same time I had to muster up the courage
and this was really when I started to
write I began to write to those friends
telling them how much I missed them and
before I knew it they share that they
missed me too I began to become invited
again to their events and also I wrote
about my journey on electronic bulletin
boards I began to speak publicly about
my experiences in building this
community from colleagues friends
friends of friends and how they assisted
me in helping Jorge during the time of
his illness I talked about the power of
connecting over topics that topic
becoming a social object you know that
social object connecting me to other
people over another subject matter and
how ecosystems were beginning to crop up
inside other ecosystems how people would
have very open and authentic
conversations about things like the next
car they were purchasing aware they were
sending their kids to school where they
were traveling to on holiday and if we
knew any good restaurants before I knew
it people began to listen so much so
that it started me on a path on my own
journey toward business basically
building the business that I’m in now
and it’s a business that I love in
digital marketing my path and building
community allowed me to build my own
business helping businesses both small
and large harness the power of online
communities just to tell their own
stories then in 2014 I had my own health
scare I was diagnosed with ovarian
cancer now as an entrepreneur the cost
of the type of medical treatment that I
needed was completely staggering but it
was the community I built on my own
social capital who showed both kindness
and
passion to get me back on my feet again
in conducting my research for my
day-to-day job I ran across an article
in The New Yorker by this man who I’d
met once he described how online
communities and social networks created
vacuous ties amongst people too
superficial nothing could happen I am
here is living proof that Malcolm
Gladwell was wrong
communities both off and on line are
built on vulnerability they’re built on
trust
authenticity respect social capital
courage kindness compassion and most of
all gratitude today I stand before you
some eighteen years after George has
passed and three years after my own
health scare because I believed in the
power of community the journey to this
TED talk was shared with my community
and of friends of followers and they
lovingly took part in a campaign for me
supporting my good news and I encourage
you today to search on the hashtag
dorotea’s good news and you can see how
my community reacted when I told them
that my dream of giving a TED talk had
finally been granted thank you [Applause]
name properly
um well lovely there all of you guys to
have me thank you so much
mine is a story of death and love and
how a community was built out of thin
air that saved the life of a dying man
and that of my own it actually goes back
to my childhood my grandmother was one
of the Parisian ladies who lunch she so
desperately wanted a girly-girl
granddaughter unfortunately I was a bit
of a tomboy that’s right I refused to
wear dresses I liked to play with boys
click frogs climb trees she was so
frustrated with me on my 4th birthday
she threw a party for me and insisted
that after I had people who attended I
would write thank you cards to everybody
that participated and that really stuck
with me that act of gratitude now fast
forward to my 20s when I really liked to
play with boys I found a vocation in law
enforcement strategy at an organization
that build statistical models and
software solutions for governments all
around the world I traveled the globe
and lived out of these three suitcases
helping solve crime with a group of
individuals that was very elite and I
was very honored to work with them back
then most officers had this cool thing
called a fax machine the you younger
people in the audience a mobile phone
looked like this and the computers that
we utilized looked like something out of
a movie I was working with some of the
best and brightest minds around the
world people who are at the top of their
game in research statistics machine
learning artificial intelligence human
factors criminology I mean these people
were PhDs two and three times over MBAs
you know we were building things like
anti-terrorism models legal software for
the
intelligence community think FBI CIA mi6
right in our downtime though we got to
know one another
authentically in places such as chat
rooms and in the walled garden of
intranets I learned the name of their
spouses I learned when they were giving
birth to their first children their
interests their political affiliations
what types of cars they were driving
what their hobbies were we shared both
the triumphs and tragedies of everyday
life I would send birthday cards and
anniversary cards and bat mitzvah cards
all over the world to my friends my
colleagues we played online games and
followed one another as we shared what
we were passionate about on electronic
bulletin boards those that were
available to us at the time we found
common ground and mutual respect see
back then there was no LinkedIn there
was no snapchat no Facebook no Instagram
all the while we were creating strong
relationships with one another and we
were doing it virtually it’s called
social capital it’s defined as the
networks of relationships among people
who live and work in a particular
society enabling that society to
function effectively here’s a good
example while on an assignment in
Georgia I complained to one of my
colleagues that I hadn’t had decent
French food and ages and he was kind
enough to recommend a place online he
said this great French cafe it’s in a
quiet city neighborhood in Atlanta
you’ll love it I was so thrilled to try
this restaurant the moment I walked in I
could see
beautiful paintings of jazz musicians
and posters and on the menu my absolute
favorite salad nicoise the waiter was a
tall sort of attractive European Asian
mix of a man and he was overly attentive
he came and asked me about my food every
time I put a fork full of food in my
mouth at the end of the meal I was eager
to get back to my hotel wanted to
discover a
more about Lana the city and ask for the
bill when it arrived it had nothing but
zeros I thought this is the oddest thing
I walked up to him I tapped him on the
shoulder and I said you know there must
be something wrong he said no no no he
said um I took care of your lunch in
hopes that you’ll let me buy your dinner
and that’s how I met George George was
an entrepreneur he was well on his way
to owning one of the hippest and coolest
night Cubs in the country they were
mentioned in Esquire magazine he got the
opportunity to go to the Playboy Mansion
I mean this place was the place to be in
the 90s now if you’ve never dated an
entrepreneur I have to tell you there’s
nothing more romantic in my humble
opinion I highly recommend it there’s
nothing like seeing somebody’s dream
come to a reality
ours was a lovely courtship and soon I
found myself moving to Georgia and
becoming engaged he was a cheeky fellow
yeah
shortly after our engagement and I was
just so madly in love with this guy I’m
telling you as far as I was concerned he
hung the moon surely after our
engagement George got sick he was
diagnosed with something I couldn’t even
pronounce I went to libraries I tried to
search things out in the online
communities that were available to me
finally I shared my very personal
situation completely vulnerable with my
community unaware of what I was dealing
with I asked them for help
and before I knew it they were offering
to connect me with people all around the
world people that they’d known in
university people that they knew from
the research communities people that
they graduated school with by being
completely vulnerable I was welcomed
into their private rolodexes people
they’d known for decades
one such gentleman was at Quantico and
he introduced me to somebody
to school with I remember the beginning
of the conversation was something like
this he said uh you know I know the guy
who’s head of cancer research at MD
Anderson in Houston do you want to meet
him
uh yeah soon George was properly
diagnosed with advanced stage stomach
cancer and as George and I went through
his illness together you know we learned
from my newly formed connections and
friends about things like macrobiotic
cooking vegan diets you know Chinese
herbs and eastern and western
philosophies and therapies and each time
we tried one of these I would let that
person who recommended it know how we
did I would give them updates
I would I would write thank-you cards in
an act to just express my gratitude my
community had become let me get back to
this my community had become an
ecosystem but it was my ecosystem
thanks to my community George lived
another four years until a misdiagnosis
caused him to slip into a coma and pass
in a matter of a few days
you see dying is not a technical glitch
of the human operating system it’s a
feature it’s the only prediction we can
make at Birth that we can completely
Bank on at the time I would cry in
meetings friends would call to check in
on me and halfway through a sentence I
would just break down in tears cancer
and death are not easy topics to deal
with couples we’d met throughout our
courtship people we’d go to dinner with
have movie nights with and so on and so
forth stopped inviting me to things I
remember on one such occasion a
girlfriend called on a Thursday night to
say well the Saturday night potluck
supper you know it’s couples only so I
don’t think it would be a good idea for
you to attend at times the bereaved are
often treated like those to whom
something unnatural or disgraceful has
occurred people avoid them don’t invite
them out fall silent when they enter the
when they most need community and at
this point I thought as though every
door was closed to me so I created my
own door
I was fearless but scared witless at the
same time I had to muster up the courage
and this was really when I started to
write I began to write to those friends
telling them how much I missed them and
before I knew it they share that they
missed me too I began to become invited
again to their events and also I wrote
about my journey on electronic bulletin
boards I began to speak publicly about
my experiences in building this
community from colleagues friends
friends of friends and how they assisted
me in helping Jorge during the time of
his illness I talked about the power of
connecting over topics that topic
becoming a social object you know that
social object connecting me to other
people over another subject matter and
how ecosystems were beginning to crop up
inside other ecosystems how people would
have very open and authentic
conversations about things like the next
car they were purchasing aware they were
sending their kids to school where they
were traveling to on holiday and if we
knew any good restaurants before I knew
it people began to listen so much so
that it started me on a path on my own
journey toward business basically
building the business that I’m in now
and it’s a business that I love in
digital marketing my path and building
community allowed me to build my own
business helping businesses both small
and large harness the power of online
communities just to tell their own
stories then in 2014 I had my own health
scare I was diagnosed with ovarian
cancer now as an entrepreneur the cost
of the type of medical treatment that I
needed was completely staggering but it
was the community I built on my own
social capital who showed both kindness
and
passion to get me back on my feet again
in conducting my research for my
day-to-day job I ran across an article
in The New Yorker by this man who I’d
met once he described how online
communities and social networks created
vacuous ties amongst people too
superficial nothing could happen I am
here is living proof that Malcolm
Gladwell was wrong
communities both off and on line are
built on vulnerability they’re built on
trust
authenticity respect social capital
courage kindness compassion and most of
all gratitude today I stand before you
some eighteen years after George has
passed and three years after my own
health scare because I believed in the
power of community the journey to this
TED talk was shared with my community
and of friends of followers and they
lovingly took part in a campaign for me
supporting my good news and I encourage
you today to search on the hashtag
dorotea’s good news and you can see how
my community reacted when I told them
that my dream of giving a TED talk had
finally been granted thank you [Applause]
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