successful people do what they hate to
get to where they want to be believed
without talent will take you far further
than Talent without belief you’ll never
get it right you’re just not good at
that I want you to change that voice to
a cheerleader the motivation what’s your
top ten with the leave nation what’s
that believe nation it’s Evan I believe
in you and this channel is designed to
be a part of your daily success routine
so let’s get your motivation to attend
and get you believing in you grab a
snack and chew on today’s lessons from a
woman who went from struggling with an
eating disorder for 20 years to becoming
a successful hypnotherapist and
best-selling author of four books
she’s Marissa Pierre and here’s my take
on her top ten rules of success
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one be prepared to make sacrifices so
the first thing that people who are
incredibly successful do is they do what
they hate they are fully prepared to do
what they hate to get to where they want
to be and and people who fail they will
give up their dream before they do what
they hate to do people who are very
successful they never ever ever wait for
motivation they do it because when you
do it you become motivated a great
writer worker well I just wait and I
really motivated to start writing this
book know they get up at 4:00 in the
morning they don’t want to and they
start to write and then of course they
become motivators and you wake up in the
morning and you go you’re not gonna go
yeah it’s 5:00 a.m. and putting on my
running shoes and going for walk up
Laurel Canyon of course you’re not gonna
do that you’re gonna wake up god I
really hate working out but Marissa said
successful people do what they hate to
get to where they want to be of course
the wonderful thing is that when you do
what you hate first enough times it
starts to become natural like I’ve got
to do my taxes I’ll do that first thing
I’ve got to confront someone I’ll do it
first and so I still to this day wake up
and think oh I don’t really want to do
that so I’m going to do it first because
what I do want is to belong to that
group of very very successful people so
I know what the membership is and every
time I don’t to do something I think I
don’t want to do it but what I do want
is to belong to that group so I’m doing
it first and it’s it’s a great way of
thinking because it starts to move you
around wanting to do it for all the
right reasons many many years ago and I
met someone who wanted to be a rock star
that was his ambition actually
particularly wanted to be a drummer and
he was a very young married man with two
children to support and he was going for
a lot of auditions and of course all the
editions take place during the day and
every time he had a job they wouldn’t
let him take time off so he just
he would have to work nights in order to
audition during the day and the only job
he could get was a chubby hated he was a
taxi driver and he hated it but he did
it but he just wasn’t making enough
money Caesar okay I have to work in
McDonald’s I get more money I can work
nights I’m free to audition and about a
month before he’d applied to work in
McDonald’s he’d been for an audition to
be a drama in a band he didn’t you know
who the band was and the day he was you
to start working McDonald’s which he
absolutely hated even the thought of he
got a call to go you know that band you
audition for it’s actually Simple Minds
and now you’re the drummer and Simple
Minds that he never worked in McDonald’s
or drove a cab again for the rest of his
life but when he told people that story
they’d all go oh I would never work in
McDonald’s oh my god I’d never degrade
myself by driving a cab around London
and I’m like don’t you think you’re
missing the point
his ability to do what he hated is what
made him a rockstar because he had to
have his days free to rehearse and
audition but if he had your mind sir I’d
never do that
he would never be a multi-millionaire
rock star it was because he was fully
prepared to do what he hated to swallow
his pride to keep his vision in mind I
want to be a rock star I must be free
for auditions how can I do that well I
have to work as a cab driver and in a
fast-food restaurant which I hate but
I’m gonna do it because it’s gonna take
me to my goal and it did but the people
who laughed him and said I wouldn’t do
that none of them a rock star
rule number two stay positive secondly
we have this belief that our brains job
is to make us happy Oh No
your brain still is to make you serve I
didn’t care if you’re happy it cares if
you survive so when you say my job is
killing me this commute is stressing me
out I’m dying under the paperwork it
wants you to stop and so because you’re
my brains job is to move you towards
pleasure you’ve got to say I love
working weekends even if it’s not true I
love going to the gym I’m so lucky I’ve
got a baby that wakes me up at 3 in the
morning I know it sounds really
Pollyanna but you can trick your mind
all that I think I love it I want it I
like it and that’s what Olympic athletes
do when they’re training when they’re
getting up at 3 a.m. to run they don’t
go oh this is great but they also don’t
go my god I hate it they go yeah this is
gonna make me a little imp ik athlete
because they understand the minds need
to move you towards pleasure and away
from pain and if you link pain to
something your mind will make you give
it up really quickly and people who fail
give up their dreams as they leave pain
to them but people who succeed meet
their dreams they go yeah I want to work
all weekend I’m building a business I
want to work nights writing this books
I’m going to write a book you can choose
what to link pain and pleasure to in
fact you can choose anything you like
you know what you can’t choose
what happens when you say things like I
hate my job I hate my boss my in-laws
are killing me this kid is driving me
crazy sure you can choose to say that
but you can’t choose what happens when
you are very negative rule number three
believe in yourself
doesn’t matter how talented you are if
you don’t have self belief you’re not
going to get anywhere if you have
extraordinary self belief a very little
talent you can get everybody if you have
both if you have talent and belief it
will actually make you unstoppable now
with a lot of football teams a lot of
football players and a lot of those
footballers come out of school at 14
they know they’re going to be famous
players they don’t really pursue an
education a lot of them have an
extraordinary negative self belief
because they they’re only good at sport
which is a great shame and I’m one of my
players at the moment is now become a
fantastic commentator but I do a lot of
work with him to put in him that belief
because he wasn’t great at spelling and
he wasn’t great at school because he
knew he’s going to be a footballer so
belief without talent will take you far
further than talent without belief but
if you have both you can go far but
everyone can learn self belief rule
number four express your feelings I
mentioned something about leaning into
the feelings until if you no longer yeah
yeah we go away I feel the feeling it
didn’t no longer requires to be felt why
do we why should we do that so give me
an example okay so let’s imagine you you
and your ex-wife are not getting on and
you have a feeling of rage about the
fact that she’s trying to get your kid
to call a new guy daddy and she’s
blocking you out and you feel so angry I
think oh I mustn’t feel angry no she’s
doing it for the interest of my kid or
and so I just drink the anger and I
drink the anger and you see with a
feeling it’s the most real thing you
have a feeling is like a little kid in a
class going notice me
I’m over here and if you don’t they get
more and more out of control and so when
you don’t acknowledge your things they
regroup and they regroup until they
become outraged rage coming out and then
suddenly they go a bit crazy in the car
poke of a store or the line of a store
because the mind says I’ve got all this
rage wants to come out
someone just cut into the line take it
out on them
and it’s so ineffective because I have
something I call Triple A which is aware
of your feeling most people have no idea
what they feel the guy shouldn’t feel
jealous I shouldn’t feel envious I
shouldn’t be furious with this kid he
was keeping me up all night so they’re
not aware of it they certainly can’t
accept and they never get to articulate
if you can say you know my wife’s a good
person back she had furious with what
she’s doing it really hurts my feelings
that’s why group therapy in places like
hey the good thing is you get to say
sometimes I could quite cheerfully hurt
my wife I’m not going to but I feel like
it but oh yeah I feel like that too
because when you can express your
feeling it goes away goes away
immediately but when you do it yeah even
to yourself so if your mother-in-law is
the absolute bitch from hell and you
can’t say by the way Dorothy you are the
horrible mother-in-law in the wild but
you just could shut yourself in the
bathroom turn on the taps philosopher
and say Dorothy is a really unpleasant
mother-in-law and one of my girls I feel
so much better because you’re not saying
it to them it’s like feelings are like
gasps they’re in or they’re out and they
hurt much more when you keep them in and
you want to let them out maybe a
subpoena obviously right in the middle
of a meeting but when you keep stuff in
it causes you pain rule number five
praise yourself there’s something that
would change your life to make it
familiar
phrase yourself say I did a great job I
did a good job no in the days of startup
were you’re running your own business it
may take two years before you see a
profit
the only person is going to praise you
the end of every day is you so say I did
a great job did a pretty good job too I
love what I’m doing I’m good at it make
phrase familiar rule number six find
your talent everyone’s good at something
you know you’re not meant to be good at
everything it’s no good being a jack of
all trades and a master of non so be
really good at what you’re good at and
don’t worry about what you’re not good
at because we’re not all supposed to be
good at the same thing find your talent
you know find out what you love to do
what you’re meant to do lies directly
behind and is absolutely linked to what
you love to do when I was a kid I loved
writing little stories and illustrating
them and it’s funny that now I am very
successful right because I was always
writing and I was a kid but I never
considered that as a career but it kind
of found me later
my daughter was always drawing and
always in fact she went to college to be
a criminologist and then gave that up
and became an artist because it’s what
she was meant to do so find out what you
love and be brilliant at it
rule number seven reversed your negative
self-talk
you can’t do that you’ll mess it up
you’ll never get it right you’re just
not good at that
I want you to change that voice to a
cheerleader a parent who dotes on you a
teacher who thinks you are the best
thing in the world and I want you to
hear that voice saying yay
could do it you’re amazing this is your
area of excellence you’re good at this
you know if you’re a kid running a race
at school you’d want your parent to be
the game come on come on you’re
brilliant you’re amazing if you were
doing an assignment at school you want
to teach or your parent to go you’re
you’re very smart you’re really good at
writing this is your skill set so I want
you to become a loving parent to
yourself a praising teacher a
cheerleader that always goes yes you can
do this this is easy view this is a walk
in the park or you have the skills the
talent you’ve you’ve read that book you
know the answers you’ve studied so
that’s how you stop being your own worst
critic flip it over and if you’re saying
I always mess it up start to go I get it
right I always forget things I’ve got a
great memory that’s the most important
one rule number eight don’t take no for
an answer
the other thing very successful people
do is that they they just don’t take no
for an answer they can’t reject it
everyone gets rejected but they come
back they do not take no for an answer
and you know I remember working with
Luther Vandross on one of my shows and
he was fortunate he’s died now and he
said you know people call me an
overnight success Richard Gere said
exactly the same thing you know that
overnight successes if it took me 12
years singing jingles for Kentucky Fried
Chicken before I got a record deal
there is no overnight success they get
rejected but they come back over and
over and over again rule number nine
like yourself self-esteem means how much
you like yourself when you like yourself
you also like other people too you don’t
like yourself and not like other people
there’s a lot of violence and aggression
would end if we could just learn how to
like ourselves and other people rather
than feel dissatisfied with ourselves
which means of course you’re
dissatisfied with someone else because
if you don’t like yourself then you feel
dissatisfied I want everyone around you
to be like that too and then you feel a
bit better because you’re in the same
company if you don’t feel very good and
everyone around you is happy then what
you want and what people do is they tend
to try and diminish everyone else or
elevate themselves but you can’t elevate
yourself if you don’t like yourself so a
lot of the issues we have in schools the
violence the truanting they’re not
achieving could be cut in half if you
just taught children to really like
themselves and to have self esteem and
rule number 10 the last one before a
very special bonus clip is don’t let
your fears hold you back when you focus
on the worst possible outcome you
actually feel as if you want in that
worst possible outcome the only way to
overcome a fear is that of focusing on
the worst possible outcome to focus on
the best possible outcome I’m driving
it’s foggy it’s dark it’s icy I might
skid off the road and kill myself or I’m
driving very carefully I’m driving very
slowly I’m driving very cautiously
because I’m going to be safe and I’m
gonna get home see that’s the difference
you just have to give yourself different
beliefs the thing with fear always is
you have two choices rationalize where
you feel so terrible or talk yourself
out of eating I was on the beach with my
daughter and there was a big dog and it
was quite a scary dog and she wouldn’t
like this dog and I said to be no
darling when you don’t like a dog you
get very scared and the dog doesn’t like
it either and he gets scared so when you
see a scary dog turn your back to it
don’t look at it because when you look
at it you’re challenging it and that’s
hard to do to turn your back on a dog
but if you turn your back it’s not a
challenge and she understood that and I
was always teaching it when you have a
fear you have a choice oh my god that
dogs gonna bite me attack me hurt me or
I’m gonna talk myself I’m gonna turn
away and abri they’re gonna be really
calm and that dogs are gonna go on its
way and it’s the same with everything in
life to do with fear rationalize why you
feel so fearful or talk yourself out of
it I’ll be fine
this is okay everything’s going to work
out perfectly I’m okay
all of these fears hold you back and
they don’t have to because every fear
you go through teaches you something you
see if you go to a fun van go to those
loop-the-loop rides you can scream in
terror or you can scream in excitement
and the fact that we will put themselves
through those rides means that at some
level we quite like fear it challenges
us to do more it challenges us to grow
more so don’t fear fear remember the
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
from Marisa on how to find your
confidence that I think you’re gonna
really enjoy but before that it’s time
for the three point landing questions
time to move I’m just watching another
video to actually taking action in your
life or your business and if you’re
feeling bold answer these questions in
the comments below here we go question
number one what negative self-talk are
you saying regularly number two what
three things can you praise yourself for
and number three what talent do you have
how do you help somebody become more
confident well you know I always look at
babies I think I draw myself and babies
are born with so much confidence if you
push the pram does it what kind of
people come and go your baby so cute
they don’t go don’t look at me I don’t
like attention they love attention have
you sat around a pool you’ll he’ll these
guys I think daddy look at me mummy look
at me so we come into the world loving
attention I mean that’s the first
experience you could everyone looks at
you the doctor the nurse or Midwife
parents grandparents so what I tend to
do is is reactivate their innate
confidence that you were born with and
at the same time have a look at why
you’ve lost your confidence it’s always
there will be something very specific
that causes people to lose their
confidence but they don’t really lose it
I believe it becomes submerged under all
kinds of negative beliefs when you
remove them the confidence can come back
so I give him back what they were born
with which is better because then they
don’t go away into think I’ve never had
it they go anything yeah of course I had
it and I can have it back again can
anybody become more confident yeah
absolutely thing with your mind is and
the mind is really simple your mind does
what it absolutely thinks you want it to
do so if you fear rejection if you’ve
been humiliated at school or by you know
as one of my clients was telling me that
she when she went to work on her first
day her boss shouted out across the
floor she’s useless she’ll never be good
at anything
and when you’re humiliated like that the
number one job of your mind is to make
sure you never experience that again so
your mind is always working to move you
away from anything that causes you pain
and it has to find out what causes you
pain to move you away from it so people
who’ve been rejected then spend their
life avoiding rejection avoiding
humiliation and they won’t put
themselves forwards but when you take
that away and show them that you can’t
be rejected the only person who can
truly reject you as you somebody cannot
give you a job and not like you but they
can’t really reject you because they
don’t really know you and then so I
teach people that there there’s no such
thing as rejection nobody can diminish
you and once you believe in yourself
then
doesn’t really matter what the people
think and people get very conservative
less arrogant but it’s not it’s just a
self-esteem that radiates out from you
so you can’t really read a minute you
can have bad days but we can all feel
incredibly confident and incredibly
self-assured and the great thing is that
people love that you want to be with
people who are self-assured wolves long
you know the most important work ever if
you had to think of one word that’s most
important to you that sums you Apple
that would be like a little beacon
if you like this video check out the one
I made on five tricks to help you
achieve unstoppable self-confidence I
think you’ll enjoy it the link is right
there next to me continue to believe and
I’ll see you there
confidence is the willingness to try my
character and my personality a lot of that came from Oshawott
get to where they want to be believed
without talent will take you far further
than Talent without belief you’ll never
get it right you’re just not good at
that I want you to change that voice to
a cheerleader the motivation what’s your
top ten with the leave nation what’s
that believe nation it’s Evan I believe
in you and this channel is designed to
be a part of your daily success routine
so let’s get your motivation to attend
and get you believing in you grab a
snack and chew on today’s lessons from a
woman who went from struggling with an
eating disorder for 20 years to becoming
a successful hypnotherapist and
best-selling author of four books
she’s Marissa Pierre and here’s my take
on her top ten rules of success
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one be prepared to make sacrifices so
the first thing that people who are
incredibly successful do is they do what
they hate they are fully prepared to do
what they hate to get to where they want
to be and and people who fail they will
give up their dream before they do what
they hate to do people who are very
successful they never ever ever wait for
motivation they do it because when you
do it you become motivated a great
writer worker well I just wait and I
really motivated to start writing this
book know they get up at 4:00 in the
morning they don’t want to and they
start to write and then of course they
become motivators and you wake up in the
morning and you go you’re not gonna go
yeah it’s 5:00 a.m. and putting on my
running shoes and going for walk up
Laurel Canyon of course you’re not gonna
do that you’re gonna wake up god I
really hate working out but Marissa said
successful people do what they hate to
get to where they want to be of course
the wonderful thing is that when you do
what you hate first enough times it
starts to become natural like I’ve got
to do my taxes I’ll do that first thing
I’ve got to confront someone I’ll do it
first and so I still to this day wake up
and think oh I don’t really want to do
that so I’m going to do it first because
what I do want is to belong to that
group of very very successful people so
I know what the membership is and every
time I don’t to do something I think I
don’t want to do it but what I do want
is to belong to that group so I’m doing
it first and it’s it’s a great way of
thinking because it starts to move you
around wanting to do it for all the
right reasons many many years ago and I
met someone who wanted to be a rock star
that was his ambition actually
particularly wanted to be a drummer and
he was a very young married man with two
children to support and he was going for
a lot of auditions and of course all the
editions take place during the day and
every time he had a job they wouldn’t
let him take time off so he just
he would have to work nights in order to
audition during the day and the only job
he could get was a chubby hated he was a
taxi driver and he hated it but he did
it but he just wasn’t making enough
money Caesar okay I have to work in
McDonald’s I get more money I can work
nights I’m free to audition and about a
month before he’d applied to work in
McDonald’s he’d been for an audition to
be a drama in a band he didn’t you know
who the band was and the day he was you
to start working McDonald’s which he
absolutely hated even the thought of he
got a call to go you know that band you
audition for it’s actually Simple Minds
and now you’re the drummer and Simple
Minds that he never worked in McDonald’s
or drove a cab again for the rest of his
life but when he told people that story
they’d all go oh I would never work in
McDonald’s oh my god I’d never degrade
myself by driving a cab around London
and I’m like don’t you think you’re
missing the point
his ability to do what he hated is what
made him a rockstar because he had to
have his days free to rehearse and
audition but if he had your mind sir I’d
never do that
he would never be a multi-millionaire
rock star it was because he was fully
prepared to do what he hated to swallow
his pride to keep his vision in mind I
want to be a rock star I must be free
for auditions how can I do that well I
have to work as a cab driver and in a
fast-food restaurant which I hate but
I’m gonna do it because it’s gonna take
me to my goal and it did but the people
who laughed him and said I wouldn’t do
that none of them a rock star
rule number two stay positive secondly
we have this belief that our brains job
is to make us happy Oh No
your brain still is to make you serve I
didn’t care if you’re happy it cares if
you survive so when you say my job is
killing me this commute is stressing me
out I’m dying under the paperwork it
wants you to stop and so because you’re
my brains job is to move you towards
pleasure you’ve got to say I love
working weekends even if it’s not true I
love going to the gym I’m so lucky I’ve
got a baby that wakes me up at 3 in the
morning I know it sounds really
Pollyanna but you can trick your mind
all that I think I love it I want it I
like it and that’s what Olympic athletes
do when they’re training when they’re
getting up at 3 a.m. to run they don’t
go oh this is great but they also don’t
go my god I hate it they go yeah this is
gonna make me a little imp ik athlete
because they understand the minds need
to move you towards pleasure and away
from pain and if you link pain to
something your mind will make you give
it up really quickly and people who fail
give up their dreams as they leave pain
to them but people who succeed meet
their dreams they go yeah I want to work
all weekend I’m building a business I
want to work nights writing this books
I’m going to write a book you can choose
what to link pain and pleasure to in
fact you can choose anything you like
you know what you can’t choose
what happens when you say things like I
hate my job I hate my boss my in-laws
are killing me this kid is driving me
crazy sure you can choose to say that
but you can’t choose what happens when
you are very negative rule number three
believe in yourself
doesn’t matter how talented you are if
you don’t have self belief you’re not
going to get anywhere if you have
extraordinary self belief a very little
talent you can get everybody if you have
both if you have talent and belief it
will actually make you unstoppable now
with a lot of football teams a lot of
football players and a lot of those
footballers come out of school at 14
they know they’re going to be famous
players they don’t really pursue an
education a lot of them have an
extraordinary negative self belief
because they they’re only good at sport
which is a great shame and I’m one of my
players at the moment is now become a
fantastic commentator but I do a lot of
work with him to put in him that belief
because he wasn’t great at spelling and
he wasn’t great at school because he
knew he’s going to be a footballer so
belief without talent will take you far
further than talent without belief but
if you have both you can go far but
everyone can learn self belief rule
number four express your feelings I
mentioned something about leaning into
the feelings until if you no longer yeah
yeah we go away I feel the feeling it
didn’t no longer requires to be felt why
do we why should we do that so give me
an example okay so let’s imagine you you
and your ex-wife are not getting on and
you have a feeling of rage about the
fact that she’s trying to get your kid
to call a new guy daddy and she’s
blocking you out and you feel so angry I
think oh I mustn’t feel angry no she’s
doing it for the interest of my kid or
and so I just drink the anger and I
drink the anger and you see with a
feeling it’s the most real thing you
have a feeling is like a little kid in a
class going notice me
I’m over here and if you don’t they get
more and more out of control and so when
you don’t acknowledge your things they
regroup and they regroup until they
become outraged rage coming out and then
suddenly they go a bit crazy in the car
poke of a store or the line of a store
because the mind says I’ve got all this
rage wants to come out
someone just cut into the line take it
out on them
and it’s so ineffective because I have
something I call Triple A which is aware
of your feeling most people have no idea
what they feel the guy shouldn’t feel
jealous I shouldn’t feel envious I
shouldn’t be furious with this kid he
was keeping me up all night so they’re
not aware of it they certainly can’t
accept and they never get to articulate
if you can say you know my wife’s a good
person back she had furious with what
she’s doing it really hurts my feelings
that’s why group therapy in places like
hey the good thing is you get to say
sometimes I could quite cheerfully hurt
my wife I’m not going to but I feel like
it but oh yeah I feel like that too
because when you can express your
feeling it goes away goes away
immediately but when you do it yeah even
to yourself so if your mother-in-law is
the absolute bitch from hell and you
can’t say by the way Dorothy you are the
horrible mother-in-law in the wild but
you just could shut yourself in the
bathroom turn on the taps philosopher
and say Dorothy is a really unpleasant
mother-in-law and one of my girls I feel
so much better because you’re not saying
it to them it’s like feelings are like
gasps they’re in or they’re out and they
hurt much more when you keep them in and
you want to let them out maybe a
subpoena obviously right in the middle
of a meeting but when you keep stuff in
it causes you pain rule number five
praise yourself there’s something that
would change your life to make it
familiar
phrase yourself say I did a great job I
did a good job no in the days of startup
were you’re running your own business it
may take two years before you see a
profit
the only person is going to praise you
the end of every day is you so say I did
a great job did a pretty good job too I
love what I’m doing I’m good at it make
phrase familiar rule number six find
your talent everyone’s good at something
you know you’re not meant to be good at
everything it’s no good being a jack of
all trades and a master of non so be
really good at what you’re good at and
don’t worry about what you’re not good
at because we’re not all supposed to be
good at the same thing find your talent
you know find out what you love to do
what you’re meant to do lies directly
behind and is absolutely linked to what
you love to do when I was a kid I loved
writing little stories and illustrating
them and it’s funny that now I am very
successful right because I was always
writing and I was a kid but I never
considered that as a career but it kind
of found me later
my daughter was always drawing and
always in fact she went to college to be
a criminologist and then gave that up
and became an artist because it’s what
she was meant to do so find out what you
love and be brilliant at it
rule number seven reversed your negative
self-talk
you can’t do that you’ll mess it up
you’ll never get it right you’re just
not good at that
I want you to change that voice to a
cheerleader a parent who dotes on you a
teacher who thinks you are the best
thing in the world and I want you to
hear that voice saying yay
could do it you’re amazing this is your
area of excellence you’re good at this
you know if you’re a kid running a race
at school you’d want your parent to be
the game come on come on you’re
brilliant you’re amazing if you were
doing an assignment at school you want
to teach or your parent to go you’re
you’re very smart you’re really good at
writing this is your skill set so I want
you to become a loving parent to
yourself a praising teacher a
cheerleader that always goes yes you can
do this this is easy view this is a walk
in the park or you have the skills the
talent you’ve you’ve read that book you
know the answers you’ve studied so
that’s how you stop being your own worst
critic flip it over and if you’re saying
I always mess it up start to go I get it
right I always forget things I’ve got a
great memory that’s the most important
one rule number eight don’t take no for
an answer
the other thing very successful people
do is that they they just don’t take no
for an answer they can’t reject it
everyone gets rejected but they come
back they do not take no for an answer
and you know I remember working with
Luther Vandross on one of my shows and
he was fortunate he’s died now and he
said you know people call me an
overnight success Richard Gere said
exactly the same thing you know that
overnight successes if it took me 12
years singing jingles for Kentucky Fried
Chicken before I got a record deal
there is no overnight success they get
rejected but they come back over and
over and over again rule number nine
like yourself self-esteem means how much
you like yourself when you like yourself
you also like other people too you don’t
like yourself and not like other people
there’s a lot of violence and aggression
would end if we could just learn how to
like ourselves and other people rather
than feel dissatisfied with ourselves
which means of course you’re
dissatisfied with someone else because
if you don’t like yourself then you feel
dissatisfied I want everyone around you
to be like that too and then you feel a
bit better because you’re in the same
company if you don’t feel very good and
everyone around you is happy then what
you want and what people do is they tend
to try and diminish everyone else or
elevate themselves but you can’t elevate
yourself if you don’t like yourself so a
lot of the issues we have in schools the
violence the truanting they’re not
achieving could be cut in half if you
just taught children to really like
themselves and to have self esteem and
rule number 10 the last one before a
very special bonus clip is don’t let
your fears hold you back when you focus
on the worst possible outcome you
actually feel as if you want in that
worst possible outcome the only way to
overcome a fear is that of focusing on
the worst possible outcome to focus on
the best possible outcome I’m driving
it’s foggy it’s dark it’s icy I might
skid off the road and kill myself or I’m
driving very carefully I’m driving very
slowly I’m driving very cautiously
because I’m going to be safe and I’m
gonna get home see that’s the difference
you just have to give yourself different
beliefs the thing with fear always is
you have two choices rationalize where
you feel so terrible or talk yourself
out of eating I was on the beach with my
daughter and there was a big dog and it
was quite a scary dog and she wouldn’t
like this dog and I said to be no
darling when you don’t like a dog you
get very scared and the dog doesn’t like
it either and he gets scared so when you
see a scary dog turn your back to it
don’t look at it because when you look
at it you’re challenging it and that’s
hard to do to turn your back on a dog
but if you turn your back it’s not a
challenge and she understood that and I
was always teaching it when you have a
fear you have a choice oh my god that
dogs gonna bite me attack me hurt me or
I’m gonna talk myself I’m gonna turn
away and abri they’re gonna be really
calm and that dogs are gonna go on its
way and it’s the same with everything in
life to do with fear rationalize why you
feel so fearful or talk yourself out of
it I’ll be fine
this is okay everything’s going to work
out perfectly I’m okay
all of these fears hold you back and
they don’t have to because every fear
you go through teaches you something you
see if you go to a fun van go to those
loop-the-loop rides you can scream in
terror or you can scream in excitement
and the fact that we will put themselves
through those rides means that at some
level we quite like fear it challenges
us to do more it challenges us to grow
more so don’t fear fear remember the
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
from Marisa on how to find your
confidence that I think you’re gonna
really enjoy but before that it’s time
for the three point landing questions
time to move I’m just watching another
video to actually taking action in your
life or your business and if you’re
feeling bold answer these questions in
the comments below here we go question
number one what negative self-talk are
you saying regularly number two what
three things can you praise yourself for
and number three what talent do you have
how do you help somebody become more
confident well you know I always look at
babies I think I draw myself and babies
are born with so much confidence if you
push the pram does it what kind of
people come and go your baby so cute
they don’t go don’t look at me I don’t
like attention they love attention have
you sat around a pool you’ll he’ll these
guys I think daddy look at me mummy look
at me so we come into the world loving
attention I mean that’s the first
experience you could everyone looks at
you the doctor the nurse or Midwife
parents grandparents so what I tend to
do is is reactivate their innate
confidence that you were born with and
at the same time have a look at why
you’ve lost your confidence it’s always
there will be something very specific
that causes people to lose their
confidence but they don’t really lose it
I believe it becomes submerged under all
kinds of negative beliefs when you
remove them the confidence can come back
so I give him back what they were born
with which is better because then they
don’t go away into think I’ve never had
it they go anything yeah of course I had
it and I can have it back again can
anybody become more confident yeah
absolutely thing with your mind is and
the mind is really simple your mind does
what it absolutely thinks you want it to
do so if you fear rejection if you’ve
been humiliated at school or by you know
as one of my clients was telling me that
she when she went to work on her first
day her boss shouted out across the
floor she’s useless she’ll never be good
at anything
and when you’re humiliated like that the
number one job of your mind is to make
sure you never experience that again so
your mind is always working to move you
away from anything that causes you pain
and it has to find out what causes you
pain to move you away from it so people
who’ve been rejected then spend their
life avoiding rejection avoiding
humiliation and they won’t put
themselves forwards but when you take
that away and show them that you can’t
be rejected the only person who can
truly reject you as you somebody cannot
give you a job and not like you but they
can’t really reject you because they
don’t really know you and then so I
teach people that there there’s no such
thing as rejection nobody can diminish
you and once you believe in yourself
then
doesn’t really matter what the people
think and people get very conservative
less arrogant but it’s not it’s just a
self-esteem that radiates out from you
so you can’t really read a minute you
can have bad days but we can all feel
incredibly confident and incredibly
self-assured and the great thing is that
people love that you want to be with
people who are self-assured wolves long
you know the most important work ever if
you had to think of one word that’s most
important to you that sums you Apple
that would be like a little beacon
if you like this video check out the one
I made on five tricks to help you
achieve unstoppable self-confidence I
think you’ll enjoy it the link is right
there next to me continue to believe and
I’ll see you there
confidence is the willingness to try my
character and my personality a lot of that came from Oshawott
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