did you know failure forms a path let me
tell you why I know this but before we
begin let me ask you this question can
you think of a lesson that you learned a
lesson that to this day guides you and
shapes you and keeps you a lesson that
you learned maybe in the first quarter
2/3 of your life lesson that’s really
important to you today I’m not gonna ask
you to share it but I do want you to
call it to your mind
got it okay for how many of you did you
learn that s ‘t lesson in times of ease
and Flowery bits of rest how many of you
learned that lesson in times of ease Wow
no.1 so that lesson that still today
holds you and guide you and keeps you
you learned in times of challenge in
that crucible moment maybe even in times
of failure and that becomes important
that lesson that you just thought of
from that moment you learned it has
formed a path failure forms a path I
want to introduce you to my parents born
in 1921 and 1923 in Jim Crow Mississippi
they understood the path of difficulty
and challenge they understood the
difficulty of failure my father was not
able to finish high school my mother did
finish but at a colored school in
Jackson Mississippi they grew up in a
time when life was difficult for them
and the things they wanted my mother was
brilliant but there was no way for her
to achieve what was important to her and
for her whole life she thought of
herself as a failure because she didn’t
have a piece of paper she could hang on
the wall but that failure formed a path
and it shows up in the lives of her
children and it shows up in a blackboard
eraser I lived my life in a house and
I’m the short one in my family where an
eraser lived atop the refrigerator out
of the reach of children I have a sister
but very much in the reach of my mom and
my dad and whenever we mostly me had
broken the rules abridge the family
guidelines done what was wrong and
sinful in the sight of Willa and Wiley
the eraser would come out and you would
be seated at the kitchen table and you’d
have to look my six-foot-three mother in
the face while she asked you questions
zina why did you break into your
sister’s piggy bank and steal her money
zina why did you bring home an F on this
paper zina why did you lose the 12th
grade election to Diane Harris you know
why do you think Edmond left you at the
altar nine weeks before your wedding all
of them true stories all of them moments
in my life that felt like failure but
with the eraser in her hand and her
looking me in the eye
she asked me those questions not to
bring me back to that place of pain not
to remind me or to rub my nose in what
felt like abject failure instead the
reason she brought it to my attention
was so that there’d be time for for
tears and for discussion for grace and
for wisdom and to begin to understand
that failure is not the opposite of
success but failure is a part of success
what she was trying to teach me was that
in those moments when I felt like I was
at the nadir and there was no way up
only out that that place was the moment
that began to form the path this was the
moment that I could begin to
stop to review to redirect and to refire
down a different path because of the
failure she would hand you the eraser
and the thing that we were taught in
that moment is that whatever the
transgression or whatever had happened
to you you were to erase the event but
remember the lesson a race that I’ve
broken into my younger sisters piggy
bank remember you don’t steal erase the
F but remember that a good grade only
comes with good study erase the loss of
the 12th grade election which I’m still
not quite over but remember that you are
not limited in your leadership by
position you still have voice and you
still have power remember that because
Edmund left you at the altar you got the
man that you were supposed to be married
here is how failure forms a path if when
we fail there’s no eraser in your life
there’s no understanding that you can
erase the event and hold on to the
lesson then you stay down and failure is
only failure if you don’t get back up
what my mother wanted me to know was
that this was the open door to the path
of that failure formed failure forms a
path because it requires that you ask
your why why am i in this position not
to Waddle in it not to think that it
captures you but why what can I learn
from what has happened if nothing’s lost
in the divine economy of God what do I
learn in this moment because that
learning is going to strengthen me she
taught me about the path because the
first thing to ask was the why and she
taught me about the path because the
second thing to ask was that was the how
how was what I had done myself a part of
the failure or how were the people
around me a part of the failure and what
can I learn not to cast blame but to
understand my allies and my enemies to
understand my practices and how they
might be informed and improved the why
the how and the what next my journey
what could I look back and see learn
from and how would it carry me forward
she wanted me to know that this was my
gift that I could erase what had
happened and still go forward on a path
that I was in charge of not the failure
I was in charge of failure is necessary
and if you don’t believe me go home and
google the museum of failure it’s a real
thing and it chronicles people like
Thomas Edison you know he said I didn’t
fail I found 10,000 ways that didn’t
work and here I wonder if you can come
up with who these people are she saw
herself as a failure at this time
jobless divorced panelists
with a dependent child she suffered
suffered through bouts of depression
eventually signing up for welfare
difficult time in her life
JK rowling how about this one after
graduating he wandered unsure of himself
and what to do with his life he became
an insurance salesman going door-to-door
worked for the Patent Office eventually
being a part of the PAP patent
application process felt like a failure
Einstein one more married early husband
was at war divorced tried to get
promotions at the age of 45 realized she
couldn’t quit her job wrote a book that
became the the manifesto for her
business but all along she thought she’d
failed because the book didn’t sell Mary
Kay below loved failure forms a path we
look at our wise we look at our house we
look at our what Nexus we remember our
erasers so that we erase and don’t have
to dwell in the thing that went wrong
but remember and take in the lesson
failure forms of path but in barrington
we have a problem what I do every day is
sit in my office at Community Church and
a month does not go by when someone does
not come by to tell me the story of
something that feels like failure and
what I fight in this beautiful town in
which we live is this you’re a pastor
you can’t tell anybody right but I fight
is that this failure isolates us and we
are so guilt written and so ashamed that
in the midst of our failure we think we
are meant to do it all on our own and we
will not reach out we will not seek help
we will not talk to one another and so
you know what we’re doomed to try and
lift those stones and build a path by
ourselves and we doom others to walk the
same path
we won’t share what happened with us
beloved failure is inevitable and it’s
good remember that lesson I asked you to
think of it’s good it forms us it sends
us on this path but when we hold our
stories alone and deny them we do others
to be without the wisdom our paths have
formed we are called to remember the
eraser we’re called to remember to say I
learned some fabulous things in the
midst of the failure and the failure
does not mark me because I’ve erased it
but here’s what I’ve learned we’re
called to be there for one another so I
challenge you I challenge you in this
place where we live and we where we
thrive to have your own eraser and
tonight when you leave you’re going to
get one looks like that but the
challenge and the reason you should take
one is because you believe what my
mother said zina no failure forms you
you erase the act remember the lesson
and form the path beloved I want you to
look failure in the face and say failure
take your best shot I’ve got my eraser thank you
tell you why I know this but before we
begin let me ask you this question can
you think of a lesson that you learned a
lesson that to this day guides you and
shapes you and keeps you a lesson that
you learned maybe in the first quarter
2/3 of your life lesson that’s really
important to you today I’m not gonna ask
you to share it but I do want you to
call it to your mind
got it okay for how many of you did you
learn that s ‘t lesson in times of ease
and Flowery bits of rest how many of you
learned that lesson in times of ease Wow
no.1 so that lesson that still today
holds you and guide you and keeps you
you learned in times of challenge in
that crucible moment maybe even in times
of failure and that becomes important
that lesson that you just thought of
from that moment you learned it has
formed a path failure forms a path I
want to introduce you to my parents born
in 1921 and 1923 in Jim Crow Mississippi
they understood the path of difficulty
and challenge they understood the
difficulty of failure my father was not
able to finish high school my mother did
finish but at a colored school in
Jackson Mississippi they grew up in a
time when life was difficult for them
and the things they wanted my mother was
brilliant but there was no way for her
to achieve what was important to her and
for her whole life she thought of
herself as a failure because she didn’t
have a piece of paper she could hang on
the wall but that failure formed a path
and it shows up in the lives of her
children and it shows up in a blackboard
eraser I lived my life in a house and
I’m the short one in my family where an
eraser lived atop the refrigerator out
of the reach of children I have a sister
but very much in the reach of my mom and
my dad and whenever we mostly me had
broken the rules abridge the family
guidelines done what was wrong and
sinful in the sight of Willa and Wiley
the eraser would come out and you would
be seated at the kitchen table and you’d
have to look my six-foot-three mother in
the face while she asked you questions
zina why did you break into your
sister’s piggy bank and steal her money
zina why did you bring home an F on this
paper zina why did you lose the 12th
grade election to Diane Harris you know
why do you think Edmond left you at the
altar nine weeks before your wedding all
of them true stories all of them moments
in my life that felt like failure but
with the eraser in her hand and her
looking me in the eye
she asked me those questions not to
bring me back to that place of pain not
to remind me or to rub my nose in what
felt like abject failure instead the
reason she brought it to my attention
was so that there’d be time for for
tears and for discussion for grace and
for wisdom and to begin to understand
that failure is not the opposite of
success but failure is a part of success
what she was trying to teach me was that
in those moments when I felt like I was
at the nadir and there was no way up
only out that that place was the moment
that began to form the path this was the
moment that I could begin to
stop to review to redirect and to refire
down a different path because of the
failure she would hand you the eraser
and the thing that we were taught in
that moment is that whatever the
transgression or whatever had happened
to you you were to erase the event but
remember the lesson a race that I’ve
broken into my younger sisters piggy
bank remember you don’t steal erase the
F but remember that a good grade only
comes with good study erase the loss of
the 12th grade election which I’m still
not quite over but remember that you are
not limited in your leadership by
position you still have voice and you
still have power remember that because
Edmund left you at the altar you got the
man that you were supposed to be married
here is how failure forms a path if when
we fail there’s no eraser in your life
there’s no understanding that you can
erase the event and hold on to the
lesson then you stay down and failure is
only failure if you don’t get back up
what my mother wanted me to know was
that this was the open door to the path
of that failure formed failure forms a
path because it requires that you ask
your why why am i in this position not
to Waddle in it not to think that it
captures you but why what can I learn
from what has happened if nothing’s lost
in the divine economy of God what do I
learn in this moment because that
learning is going to strengthen me she
taught me about the path because the
first thing to ask was the why and she
taught me about the path because the
second thing to ask was that was the how
how was what I had done myself a part of
the failure or how were the people
around me a part of the failure and what
can I learn not to cast blame but to
understand my allies and my enemies to
understand my practices and how they
might be informed and improved the why
the how and the what next my journey
what could I look back and see learn
from and how would it carry me forward
she wanted me to know that this was my
gift that I could erase what had
happened and still go forward on a path
that I was in charge of not the failure
I was in charge of failure is necessary
and if you don’t believe me go home and
google the museum of failure it’s a real
thing and it chronicles people like
Thomas Edison you know he said I didn’t
fail I found 10,000 ways that didn’t
work and here I wonder if you can come
up with who these people are she saw
herself as a failure at this time
jobless divorced panelists
with a dependent child she suffered
suffered through bouts of depression
eventually signing up for welfare
difficult time in her life
JK rowling how about this one after
graduating he wandered unsure of himself
and what to do with his life he became
an insurance salesman going door-to-door
worked for the Patent Office eventually
being a part of the PAP patent
application process felt like a failure
Einstein one more married early husband
was at war divorced tried to get
promotions at the age of 45 realized she
couldn’t quit her job wrote a book that
became the the manifesto for her
business but all along she thought she’d
failed because the book didn’t sell Mary
Kay below loved failure forms a path we
look at our wise we look at our house we
look at our what Nexus we remember our
erasers so that we erase and don’t have
to dwell in the thing that went wrong
but remember and take in the lesson
failure forms of path but in barrington
we have a problem what I do every day is
sit in my office at Community Church and
a month does not go by when someone does
not come by to tell me the story of
something that feels like failure and
what I fight in this beautiful town in
which we live is this you’re a pastor
you can’t tell anybody right but I fight
is that this failure isolates us and we
are so guilt written and so ashamed that
in the midst of our failure we think we
are meant to do it all on our own and we
will not reach out we will not seek help
we will not talk to one another and so
you know what we’re doomed to try and
lift those stones and build a path by
ourselves and we doom others to walk the
same path
we won’t share what happened with us
beloved failure is inevitable and it’s
good remember that lesson I asked you to
think of it’s good it forms us it sends
us on this path but when we hold our
stories alone and deny them we do others
to be without the wisdom our paths have
formed we are called to remember the
eraser we’re called to remember to say I
learned some fabulous things in the
midst of the failure and the failure
does not mark me because I’ve erased it
but here’s what I’ve learned we’re
called to be there for one another so I
challenge you I challenge you in this
place where we live and we where we
thrive to have your own eraser and
tonight when you leave you’re going to
get one looks like that but the
challenge and the reason you should take
one is because you believe what my
mother said zina no failure forms you
you erase the act remember the lesson
and form the path beloved I want you to
look failure in the face and say failure
take your best shot I’ve got my eraser thank you
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