first off I’m not as physically fit as I
used to be in seconds well let me
explain oh I’m really not in shape I’m
just a small-town girl that grew up
outside of Philly with big dreams to
travel the world and my college major
was music theater dance not the easiest
of career paths especially for an
introvert I graduated college thinking
to myself how am I going to do what I
really want to do in life well you do
what any scene recently graduated
musical theater dance major does that’s
also introverted and you’ve run away
with the circus that’s what I did I find
myself standing in the middle of Penn
Station in New York City on my way to
audition for Ringling Brothers and
Barnum & Bailey Circus not to say thank
you to say I was terrified is an
understatement I mean I had no clue what
I was doing where I was going I had
never traveled alone before to New York
City and to be honest I’ve never ever
been to the big to the Big Apple I mean
I grew up living in a small town so the
big city was scary to a girl like me but
my dreams had to be bigger than my fears
even trying to figure out where to get
on and off multiple trains was a
nightmare I mean I remember asking the
conductor’s and anyone around me if I
was on the right train because sometimes
when you don’t know where you’re going
you need to stop and ask questions let’s
hang out my ponytail here those are the
moments that we all need a little
confirmation that we’re on the right
track how about you are you on the right
track it’s a time you start asking some
questions maybe you’re a college
graduate like I was or maybe you’re a
stay at home
trying to navigate your way back into
the workplace or maybe you’re somebody
anybody who’s going through a
devastating divorce a loss or a trauma
and if so my story might resonate with
you and help you get to where you need
to go so here I am I’m aratus Lee made
it to this audition and after a fairly
simple dance routine on put it ease and
feel relaxed I’m confident until part
two of that audition was announced and
that is known as the aerial audition now
this consists of climbing a Spanish web
now the Spanish web by the way is a long
rope that’s hung from a truss my
immediate thoughts were I got straight
A’s in physical education
I know I can climb a rope sure enough on
my first I climb up to the top not a
problem
but then the instructor asked me to put
my wrist through this wrist loop that’s
attached to the web and pull down the
safety ring that’s attached to the loop
and I do and I look at her with an
expression of success and I quickly get
out I start climbing down and she yells
up I mean she says oh no no Cassandra I
want you to hang from that wrist loop
and push away from the web I look at her
and a deer-in-headlights kind of way you
know because on the inside I was
screaming oh my god I’m going to die
right here in the circus fear came over
me the mid and I realized how high up I
was but then she asked me to hang in a
sense let go my heart started pounding a
hundred miles a minute and that was when
it’s no joke listen I’ve had this fear
for a long time but somehow I mustered
up enough courage because I had
transcended this inner barrier you know
and I surrendered my fear because I knew
that if I didn’t take that risk I’d
never get out of them small town of mine
travel the world
form so I mustered up enough courage I
finished that routine I climbed back
down I got the job but for 25 years I’ve
struggled with that fear as an aerialist
it’s not something I ever overcame
that’s why that was not that easy it’s
just something I learned how to deal
with I learned how to manage definitely
not something I shared with my
professional aerialist friends now since
retirement I’ll occasionally train at
the circus school is a way to stay in
shape and I’m constantly reminded of not
just my fear of heights but how much I
learned about life by performing in the
air and there are three aerial moves and
I think we all can relate to in life and
they are the cocoon the next spin and
the bullet job now the cocoon is exactly
what you picture it to be you’re wrapped
up in these silks and silks the word I
just came in on you’re wrapped up in
their silks and the audience cannot see
you you cannot see the audience but
you’re moving about your body making
different artistic shapes within this
cocoon and it’s inspiring and beautiful
to watch now like in life sometimes we
need to hide from the world and maybe
figure things out to reflect relax
contemplate what to do next in there
you’ll find stillness but not for long
sometimes this cocoon is on purpose
sometimes it’s not but it is where you
find safety and security
now you may make shapes within this
cocoon and those shapes may be that a
fear anxiety anger bitterness stress
resentment humbleness and healing and
with healing begins the transition
because eventually you must come out of
your shell out of your comfort zone and
begin anew a new chapter waits and from
there your journey begins the cocoon now
the next spin starts off slow and
gradually gets faster and faster and
faster but it’s only done perfectly if
your Center is found while spinning now
the spin and light can emulate
the overwhelming anxieties and stress of
this world we live in the chaos and we
live in a very stressful world however
Finance Center is a way of coping with
that stress and anxiety the center is a
way to stay calm in the storm an example
of an X been in my personal life was at
a time when I was raising my kids on my
own I mean you’re going from a sporting
event to a dance recital to
parent-teacher meetings to doing their
homework and all the crazy running
around you do as a parents the shop in
the pain the billows and keep a
full-time job that was an X been in my
life now how did I make it through well
I thought about the beach and a pina
colada
I definitely value a downtime which
happened to me when my kids were asleep
but I visualized you know I prayed I
listen to music I exercised I took walks
those were the secret ingredients for my
sanity that was my Center and when I
realized about that next bin today is
visually on the outside it’s very
impressive but on the inside is truly
where the magic was in effect the inside
like in life now have you ever felt like
the bottom of your life fell out one of
my favorite tricks to do on the silk is
called the bullet shop now this could be
exciting or this could be scary the
bullet drop is a headfirst drop it is a
dramatic job and it’s fast it is it has
a wow effect as a surprise effect an
example of a bullet drop in life I think
would be that of a career change that
could be exciting or scary it could be
financial stress it could be cancer it
could be that of a couple desperately
wanting to have a child and finally
finding out that they’re expecting
whatever it is it’s a surprise and
that’s the bullet trumpet what I realize
about the bullet shop in my life and I
think in most people’s lives is that it
is more real than not because you never
know when a surprise is lurking around
that corner and you don’t know whether
it’s gonna be joyful exciting or tragic
and there are some ways we can handle
that
sometimes we can prepare sometimes we
can certainly seek advice we can educate
ourselves we can find faith we can
definitely use the secret ingredients I
use in the next minute life we can apply
them here as well only always remember
to find something to be thankful about
even during the most trying times in
life because something within you shifts
when you do you know gratitude is a
blessing to yourself now those are just
a few of my many routines I’m
experienced as an aerialist and I’m
still afraid of heights yet I continue
to rise above that fear why because the
dream must be greater than the fear and
the result must be more compelling than
standing still and actually standing
still is far scarier than going for it
and failing because the possibilities of
accept success far outweigh the fear of
going for it don’t allow fear to
paralyze you so much that you never take
action if you fear anything feel regret
I know it’s not easy trust me ohai know
but I also know it is worth it it truly
is and one last routine I’d like to
share with you was one of my scariest
performances of all time was I when I
had to rappel from a 74 feet catwalk at
the MGM Grand Arena in Las Vegas Nevada
to the top of myself which was hung
about maybe 45 feet from the floor now
at the time I don’t even know what the
word rappel meant clearly is what rock
climbers do but I had to trust my rigger
he’s the guy that hung my equipment he’s
up to par and all the safety regulations
and I had a trust that his instructions
were clear and understood so that I can
execute them with confidence talk about
freaked out scared
I mean freaked out I incited every
positive affirmation you could possibly
think about listen those are awesome by
the way
but they’re nothing without action I
definitely celebrated after that
performance and that is why to this day
listen I believe that hanging by my
ankles for a living was pretty exciting
I ask you how have you been hanging by
your ankles what’s next for you how are
you transition and who will be your
rigor that go-to person in your life
they could possibly guide you your
spouse a friend a coach a counselor find
that someone that can hold the ropes
they could ascend your life I invite you
to a life of climb and exciting ladders
and pristine and beautiful silks and
truly taking flight
thank you [Applause]
used to be in seconds well let me
explain oh I’m really not in shape I’m
just a small-town girl that grew up
outside of Philly with big dreams to
travel the world and my college major
was music theater dance not the easiest
of career paths especially for an
introvert I graduated college thinking
to myself how am I going to do what I
really want to do in life well you do
what any scene recently graduated
musical theater dance major does that’s
also introverted and you’ve run away
with the circus that’s what I did I find
myself standing in the middle of Penn
Station in New York City on my way to
audition for Ringling Brothers and
Barnum & Bailey Circus not to say thank
you to say I was terrified is an
understatement I mean I had no clue what
I was doing where I was going I had
never traveled alone before to New York
City and to be honest I’ve never ever
been to the big to the Big Apple I mean
I grew up living in a small town so the
big city was scary to a girl like me but
my dreams had to be bigger than my fears
even trying to figure out where to get
on and off multiple trains was a
nightmare I mean I remember asking the
conductor’s and anyone around me if I
was on the right train because sometimes
when you don’t know where you’re going
you need to stop and ask questions let’s
hang out my ponytail here those are the
moments that we all need a little
confirmation that we’re on the right
track how about you are you on the right
track it’s a time you start asking some
questions maybe you’re a college
graduate like I was or maybe you’re a
stay at home
trying to navigate your way back into
the workplace or maybe you’re somebody
anybody who’s going through a
devastating divorce a loss or a trauma
and if so my story might resonate with
you and help you get to where you need
to go so here I am I’m aratus Lee made
it to this audition and after a fairly
simple dance routine on put it ease and
feel relaxed I’m confident until part
two of that audition was announced and
that is known as the aerial audition now
this consists of climbing a Spanish web
now the Spanish web by the way is a long
rope that’s hung from a truss my
immediate thoughts were I got straight
A’s in physical education
I know I can climb a rope sure enough on
my first I climb up to the top not a
problem
but then the instructor asked me to put
my wrist through this wrist loop that’s
attached to the web and pull down the
safety ring that’s attached to the loop
and I do and I look at her with an
expression of success and I quickly get
out I start climbing down and she yells
up I mean she says oh no no Cassandra I
want you to hang from that wrist loop
and push away from the web I look at her
and a deer-in-headlights kind of way you
know because on the inside I was
screaming oh my god I’m going to die
right here in the circus fear came over
me the mid and I realized how high up I
was but then she asked me to hang in a
sense let go my heart started pounding a
hundred miles a minute and that was when
it’s no joke listen I’ve had this fear
for a long time but somehow I mustered
up enough courage because I had
transcended this inner barrier you know
and I surrendered my fear because I knew
that if I didn’t take that risk I’d
never get out of them small town of mine
travel the world
form so I mustered up enough courage I
finished that routine I climbed back
down I got the job but for 25 years I’ve
struggled with that fear as an aerialist
it’s not something I ever overcame
that’s why that was not that easy it’s
just something I learned how to deal
with I learned how to manage definitely
not something I shared with my
professional aerialist friends now since
retirement I’ll occasionally train at
the circus school is a way to stay in
shape and I’m constantly reminded of not
just my fear of heights but how much I
learned about life by performing in the
air and there are three aerial moves and
I think we all can relate to in life and
they are the cocoon the next spin and
the bullet job now the cocoon is exactly
what you picture it to be you’re wrapped
up in these silks and silks the word I
just came in on you’re wrapped up in
their silks and the audience cannot see
you you cannot see the audience but
you’re moving about your body making
different artistic shapes within this
cocoon and it’s inspiring and beautiful
to watch now like in life sometimes we
need to hide from the world and maybe
figure things out to reflect relax
contemplate what to do next in there
you’ll find stillness but not for long
sometimes this cocoon is on purpose
sometimes it’s not but it is where you
find safety and security
now you may make shapes within this
cocoon and those shapes may be that a
fear anxiety anger bitterness stress
resentment humbleness and healing and
with healing begins the transition
because eventually you must come out of
your shell out of your comfort zone and
begin anew a new chapter waits and from
there your journey begins the cocoon now
the next spin starts off slow and
gradually gets faster and faster and
faster but it’s only done perfectly if
your Center is found while spinning now
the spin and light can emulate
the overwhelming anxieties and stress of
this world we live in the chaos and we
live in a very stressful world however
Finance Center is a way of coping with
that stress and anxiety the center is a
way to stay calm in the storm an example
of an X been in my personal life was at
a time when I was raising my kids on my
own I mean you’re going from a sporting
event to a dance recital to
parent-teacher meetings to doing their
homework and all the crazy running
around you do as a parents the shop in
the pain the billows and keep a
full-time job that was an X been in my
life now how did I make it through well
I thought about the beach and a pina
colada
I definitely value a downtime which
happened to me when my kids were asleep
but I visualized you know I prayed I
listen to music I exercised I took walks
those were the secret ingredients for my
sanity that was my Center and when I
realized about that next bin today is
visually on the outside it’s very
impressive but on the inside is truly
where the magic was in effect the inside
like in life now have you ever felt like
the bottom of your life fell out one of
my favorite tricks to do on the silk is
called the bullet shop now this could be
exciting or this could be scary the
bullet drop is a headfirst drop it is a
dramatic job and it’s fast it is it has
a wow effect as a surprise effect an
example of a bullet drop in life I think
would be that of a career change that
could be exciting or scary it could be
financial stress it could be cancer it
could be that of a couple desperately
wanting to have a child and finally
finding out that they’re expecting
whatever it is it’s a surprise and
that’s the bullet trumpet what I realize
about the bullet shop in my life and I
think in most people’s lives is that it
is more real than not because you never
know when a surprise is lurking around
that corner and you don’t know whether
it’s gonna be joyful exciting or tragic
and there are some ways we can handle
that
sometimes we can prepare sometimes we
can certainly seek advice we can educate
ourselves we can find faith we can
definitely use the secret ingredients I
use in the next minute life we can apply
them here as well only always remember
to find something to be thankful about
even during the most trying times in
life because something within you shifts
when you do you know gratitude is a
blessing to yourself now those are just
a few of my many routines I’m
experienced as an aerialist and I’m
still afraid of heights yet I continue
to rise above that fear why because the
dream must be greater than the fear and
the result must be more compelling than
standing still and actually standing
still is far scarier than going for it
and failing because the possibilities of
accept success far outweigh the fear of
going for it don’t allow fear to
paralyze you so much that you never take
action if you fear anything feel regret
I know it’s not easy trust me ohai know
but I also know it is worth it it truly
is and one last routine I’d like to
share with you was one of my scariest
performances of all time was I when I
had to rappel from a 74 feet catwalk at
the MGM Grand Arena in Las Vegas Nevada
to the top of myself which was hung
about maybe 45 feet from the floor now
at the time I don’t even know what the
word rappel meant clearly is what rock
climbers do but I had to trust my rigger
he’s the guy that hung my equipment he’s
up to par and all the safety regulations
and I had a trust that his instructions
were clear and understood so that I can
execute them with confidence talk about
freaked out scared
I mean freaked out I incited every
positive affirmation you could possibly
think about listen those are awesome by
the way
but they’re nothing without action I
definitely celebrated after that
performance and that is why to this day
listen I believe that hanging by my
ankles for a living was pretty exciting
I ask you how have you been hanging by
your ankles what’s next for you how are
you transition and who will be your
rigor that go-to person in your life
they could possibly guide you your
spouse a friend a coach a counselor find
that someone that can hold the ropes
they could ascend your life I invite you
to a life of climb and exciting ladders
and pristine and beautiful silks and
truly taking flight
thank you [Applause]
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