I think we as marketers and we as
business people have done a very poor
job of truly empathizing and truly
understanding this generation I’ve made
four observations that I think helped
break it down one is parenting the other
one is technology the third one is
impatience and the last one is
environment we have to truly understand
people if we want to talk to people so
let’s talk about parenting this young
generation has been subject to what has
been described as a failed parenting
strategy many of them were raised being
told the entire time that they’re
special and that they can have anything
they want just because they want it some
of them got into honors classes not
because they deserved it but because
their parents complained and some of
them got A’s not because they earned
them but because the teachers didn’t
want to deal with the parents this is
the generation that was given
participation ribbons in other words
medals for coming in last and the data
on this is clear already that it
devalues the feelings for the people who
actually work hard to come in first and
it makes those who come in last actually
feels stupid it makes them feel worse
because they know they don’t deserve it
it actually is counter productive then
all of a sudden they graduate school
they get a job and something happens
they discover immediately that they’re
not special they discover immediately
that they cannot have whatever they want
just because they want it they discover
immediately that their parents cannot
help them get a promotion and you get
nothing for coming in last
in fact I’ve heard stories where parents
are filling out job applications for
their kids or showing up to interviews
with their kids this is insane but the
point is is in a flash
their entire self-image is completely
shattered and what you find is that
there’s an entire generation that’s
growing up with less self confidence
than previous generations
also don’t forget they’ve grown up in a
snapchat Instagram Facebook world where
they are extremely good at filtering and
curating the lives the way they want us
to see them not the way they actually
are they sound tough and we do as they
say because they seem to confound us so
we ask them what do you want and they
say we want bean bags and free food at
work and so we give them bean bags and
free food and nothing changes that’s
like asking kids you want candy or
spinach they sound like they know the
answers and they keep telling you that
you should listen to them at the end of
the day there’s fear there’s anxiety
there’s uncertainty and they don’t know
the answers but they are extremely good
at putting on a brave face lower self
esteem and an ability to hide it which
then goes into technology this is a
generation that has grown up with
technology unlike any other previous
generation right we know that when we
engage with social media or our cell
phones there’s a chemical in our body
called dopamine that is released now
dopamine is the same chemical that makes
us feel good when we cross something off
our to-do lists when we find something
we’re looking for like here my keys
right when you win the client right when
you hit the goal yes that feeling that
elation comes from this chemical in our
body called dopamine well we know that
dopamine is released when we engage with
social media or our cell phones right
it’s why it feels good when our phones
go buzz Bing flasher beep yes we all
hate all our email we love the buzz Bing
flash or the beep right we’ve all had
the experience where you’re feeling a
little down you’re feeling a little bit
sorry for yourself
what do you do you send that ten texts
to ten friends hi hi hi hi
hoping that one of them responds because
it feels good right so we also know that
there are other things that release
dopamine like alcohol nicotine
and gambling and so almost all addiction
is a dopamine based addiction we know
that almost all alcoholics discovered
alcohol when they were teenagers when
we’re very very young the only approval
we need is approval from our parents
then as we get older we go through this
conversion in during adolescence we now
crave the approval of our peers very
very stressful time very very full of
high anxiety and we’re supposed to learn
to rely on our friends some people quite
by accident discover the numbing effects
of dopamine discover alcohol and that
connection becomes hardwired so for the
rest of their lives whenever they suffer
some sort of stress they don’t turn to a
person they turn to the bottle right now
we have age restrictions on alcohol
smoking and gambling and we have no age
restrictions on social media or cell
phones this is the equivalent of
throwing open a liquor cabinet and
saying to our teenagers hey I know this
adolescence thing is going to be really
stressful try the vodka it’ll get you
through it that’s ostensibly what we’re
doing we give unfettered access to a
highly highly addictive device to a
generation whose brains are not strong
enough yet to discern which is why we
have age restrictions on alcohol
nicotine and gambling because the young
mind is not yet developed enough to make
those decisions and so what we have is
an entire generation growing up with an
addiction that has not yet been labeled
an addiction more importantly an
inability to deal with stress because
they haven’t learned those coping net
and mechanisms of turning to a human
being they turn to devices this produces
some really negative effects we’re
starting to see amongst this generation
increases in suicide we’re seeing
increases in accidental death due to
drug overdoses we’re seeing increases in
depression universities are dealing now
with in epidemic proportions of kids
requesting leaves of absence
to depression and an over-reliance on
drugs to make them feel better I have a
friend she’s 28 years old she was over
my apartment we were working together
and it hit about 3 o’clock in the
afternoon she opens up her bag and pops
an adderall and I turned to her what are
you doing she goes I’m having trouble
concentrating
I said that’s because it’s 3 o’clock in
the afternoon she’d convinced herself
that it was her that her inability to
concentrate in the afternoon was because
see she was somehow broken and that her
mind was something somehow not working
and the only way she saw to fix that was
that she took a pill because she wanted
to maintain optimal productivity all day
which is not how human beings work so
you have lower self-esteem and an
inability to cope with stress they
haven’t learned coping mechanisms and
the ability to rely on or ask for help
from another human being and then you
add in the fourth third one impatience
this is a generation that has grown up
in in a world of instant gratification
if you want to buy something you go in
Amazon and it shows up the next day if
you want to watch a movie you don’t
check movie times just stream it
whenever you want watch it you don’t
wait week to eat to eat to watch a TV
show you just binge watch the whole
weekend right in fact if you want to go
on a date you just swipe right you don’t
you could be a stud sit on your couch
for dates in an afternoon and so the
problem is is now they believe that
everything in their lives can happen
instantaneously including relationships
and job fulfillment and nothing could be
further from the truth
they think it’s like a scavenger hunt
you hear this right I talk to amazing
smart ambitious idealistic hard-working
fantastic kids they’re right out of
school they’re in their entry-level jobs
and I’ll sit down with them and I go how
is it going and they say to me I think
I’m gonna quit
I say why they say I’m not making an
impact that I am like you know you’ve
been here eight months right and so what
they do is they go from job to job to
job they keep quitting their jobs or
they get fired it’s always you know it’s
a mutual understanding and they keep
going as if they’re looking to make an
impact they’re looking to find the job
of their dreams it’s like looking for
love it’s not like here it is found it
ah love is not something you find it’s
something you work hard every single day
to stay in love you don’t discover job
fulfillment you work very hard every
single day of your life to keep
fulfillment in your job and the problem
is they want all of those feelings of
anxiety that they have the feelings of
insecurity or loneliness that they have
and they want it all fixed immediately
so they go looking and looking and
looking and looking and not finding
anything twenty-eight years old had five
jobs they tell me these are their words
not mine that they struggle to form deep
meaningful relationships many of them
will admit that most of their
friendships are superficial that they
cannot rely on their friends in dark
times and that they would not be
surprised if their friends canceled on
them because some better plans came up
they will admit this and they will admit
that they struggle to form the deep
meaningful relationships that are
required to be a successful human being
as social animals we need close
relationships this technology cannot
fill the gap I love technology there’s
nothing wrong with technology the
problem is balance it can live alongside
our lives it can live alongside our
relationships it cannot replace our
relationships they could have put a
video of me up here today with me not
standing here I could have said
everything exactly the same I could have
even done it live and stood in the
studio would it feel the same or is it
better to have me here of course it’s
if I were to come to your house for
dinner you make me a lovely dinner and
the next day I send you an email saying
what a wonderful host you are what a
wonderful time I had or three days later
you get a handwritten note from me with
the exact same words as we’re in the
email which one makes you feel better
handwritten note same words same intent
same sentiment the difference is as we
know you know it took me a few extra
moments it took me a little more time
and a little more energy to send you
that note and you felt it time and
energy we’re using technology to try and
eliminate human time and energy but it’s
time and energy the sacrifice of those
non redeemable commodities that makes
human beings field valued and valuable I
hear this all the time I talk to
executives and they always try to say to
me proudly we’ve really cared that our
employees love working for our company
I’m like how do you know that did you
hire some outside consultancy to conduct
an online survey of your employees to
see if they love working there and they
go yeah I’m like okay riddle me this
Batman what if you were to send an email
to your son dear son your mom and I
really care that you feel like you’re a
valuable member of this family
please tell me candidly how we can be
better parents because we love you love
dad or you walk into his room you sit on
his bed and you say son your mom and I
really care that you feel like you’re a
valuable member of this family please
tell me what you think we can do better
as parents because we love you same
words same intention same sentiment the
only difference is in only one of those
examples does he feel you care and this
is the other problem it’s the
environment that we’re creating with so
much technology right so you havin
that’s growing up with lower self esteem
addicted technology a lack of coping
mechanisms and they want all of their
problems fixed immediately they want
everything fixed immediately
as if they’re standing at the foot of a
mountain and they can see the thing that
they want they can see the summit I want
to make an impact what they don’t see is
the mountain this large and movable
object called
the journey you can go quickly you can
go slowly this is not about doing your
time I don’t care you take a helicopter
out them up the mountain but there’s
still a mountain and life and
friendships and love and job fulfillment
is hard work and it’s gonna require a
lot of help because it’s uphill and it’s
gonna take time
and you may never reach the summit but
that’s not the point
the point is how you feel along the
journey and this generation has missed
that and they want everything solved
immediately they’re not entitled they
are not entitled they are impatient the
last one is perhaps the most egregious
of all of the observations and that is
environment because we are taking this
amazing idealistic smart hard-working
fantastic group of human beings that
have been dealt a bad hand and we have
no empathy for the hand that they’ve
been dealt in sometimes as marketers we
are irresponsible because what we do is
shove more technology at them because
that’s what kids these days want never
considering how they actually feel and
we’re starting to see a backlash we’re
starting to see people put their phones
away we’re starting to see people shut
down their Facebook accounts we’re
starting to see the rise of
organizations like meet up again which
you look at the popularity of Airbnb
which is using technology to bring human
beings together but not using technology
to replace human beings being together
give people that and they will fall in
love with you and they will fall in love with the brands that you represent
business people have done a very poor
job of truly empathizing and truly
understanding this generation I’ve made
four observations that I think helped
break it down one is parenting the other
one is technology the third one is
impatience and the last one is
environment we have to truly understand
people if we want to talk to people so
let’s talk about parenting this young
generation has been subject to what has
been described as a failed parenting
strategy many of them were raised being
told the entire time that they’re
special and that they can have anything
they want just because they want it some
of them got into honors classes not
because they deserved it but because
their parents complained and some of
them got A’s not because they earned
them but because the teachers didn’t
want to deal with the parents this is
the generation that was given
participation ribbons in other words
medals for coming in last and the data
on this is clear already that it
devalues the feelings for the people who
actually work hard to come in first and
it makes those who come in last actually
feels stupid it makes them feel worse
because they know they don’t deserve it
it actually is counter productive then
all of a sudden they graduate school
they get a job and something happens
they discover immediately that they’re
not special they discover immediately
that they cannot have whatever they want
just because they want it they discover
immediately that their parents cannot
help them get a promotion and you get
nothing for coming in last
in fact I’ve heard stories where parents
are filling out job applications for
their kids or showing up to interviews
with their kids this is insane but the
point is is in a flash
their entire self-image is completely
shattered and what you find is that
there’s an entire generation that’s
growing up with less self confidence
than previous generations
also don’t forget they’ve grown up in a
snapchat Instagram Facebook world where
they are extremely good at filtering and
curating the lives the way they want us
to see them not the way they actually
are they sound tough and we do as they
say because they seem to confound us so
we ask them what do you want and they
say we want bean bags and free food at
work and so we give them bean bags and
free food and nothing changes that’s
like asking kids you want candy or
spinach they sound like they know the
answers and they keep telling you that
you should listen to them at the end of
the day there’s fear there’s anxiety
there’s uncertainty and they don’t know
the answers but they are extremely good
at putting on a brave face lower self
esteem and an ability to hide it which
then goes into technology this is a
generation that has grown up with
technology unlike any other previous
generation right we know that when we
engage with social media or our cell
phones there’s a chemical in our body
called dopamine that is released now
dopamine is the same chemical that makes
us feel good when we cross something off
our to-do lists when we find something
we’re looking for like here my keys
right when you win the client right when
you hit the goal yes that feeling that
elation comes from this chemical in our
body called dopamine well we know that
dopamine is released when we engage with
social media or our cell phones right
it’s why it feels good when our phones
go buzz Bing flasher beep yes we all
hate all our email we love the buzz Bing
flash or the beep right we’ve all had
the experience where you’re feeling a
little down you’re feeling a little bit
sorry for yourself
what do you do you send that ten texts
to ten friends hi hi hi hi
hoping that one of them responds because
it feels good right so we also know that
there are other things that release
dopamine like alcohol nicotine
and gambling and so almost all addiction
is a dopamine based addiction we know
that almost all alcoholics discovered
alcohol when they were teenagers when
we’re very very young the only approval
we need is approval from our parents
then as we get older we go through this
conversion in during adolescence we now
crave the approval of our peers very
very stressful time very very full of
high anxiety and we’re supposed to learn
to rely on our friends some people quite
by accident discover the numbing effects
of dopamine discover alcohol and that
connection becomes hardwired so for the
rest of their lives whenever they suffer
some sort of stress they don’t turn to a
person they turn to the bottle right now
we have age restrictions on alcohol
smoking and gambling and we have no age
restrictions on social media or cell
phones this is the equivalent of
throwing open a liquor cabinet and
saying to our teenagers hey I know this
adolescence thing is going to be really
stressful try the vodka it’ll get you
through it that’s ostensibly what we’re
doing we give unfettered access to a
highly highly addictive device to a
generation whose brains are not strong
enough yet to discern which is why we
have age restrictions on alcohol
nicotine and gambling because the young
mind is not yet developed enough to make
those decisions and so what we have is
an entire generation growing up with an
addiction that has not yet been labeled
an addiction more importantly an
inability to deal with stress because
they haven’t learned those coping net
and mechanisms of turning to a human
being they turn to devices this produces
some really negative effects we’re
starting to see amongst this generation
increases in suicide we’re seeing
increases in accidental death due to
drug overdoses we’re seeing increases in
depression universities are dealing now
with in epidemic proportions of kids
requesting leaves of absence
to depression and an over-reliance on
drugs to make them feel better I have a
friend she’s 28 years old she was over
my apartment we were working together
and it hit about 3 o’clock in the
afternoon she opens up her bag and pops
an adderall and I turned to her what are
you doing she goes I’m having trouble
concentrating
I said that’s because it’s 3 o’clock in
the afternoon she’d convinced herself
that it was her that her inability to
concentrate in the afternoon was because
see she was somehow broken and that her
mind was something somehow not working
and the only way she saw to fix that was
that she took a pill because she wanted
to maintain optimal productivity all day
which is not how human beings work so
you have lower self-esteem and an
inability to cope with stress they
haven’t learned coping mechanisms and
the ability to rely on or ask for help
from another human being and then you
add in the fourth third one impatience
this is a generation that has grown up
in in a world of instant gratification
if you want to buy something you go in
Amazon and it shows up the next day if
you want to watch a movie you don’t
check movie times just stream it
whenever you want watch it you don’t
wait week to eat to eat to watch a TV
show you just binge watch the whole
weekend right in fact if you want to go
on a date you just swipe right you don’t
you could be a stud sit on your couch
for dates in an afternoon and so the
problem is is now they believe that
everything in their lives can happen
instantaneously including relationships
and job fulfillment and nothing could be
further from the truth
they think it’s like a scavenger hunt
you hear this right I talk to amazing
smart ambitious idealistic hard-working
fantastic kids they’re right out of
school they’re in their entry-level jobs
and I’ll sit down with them and I go how
is it going and they say to me I think
I’m gonna quit
I say why they say I’m not making an
impact that I am like you know you’ve
been here eight months right and so what
they do is they go from job to job to
job they keep quitting their jobs or
they get fired it’s always you know it’s
a mutual understanding and they keep
going as if they’re looking to make an
impact they’re looking to find the job
of their dreams it’s like looking for
love it’s not like here it is found it
ah love is not something you find it’s
something you work hard every single day
to stay in love you don’t discover job
fulfillment you work very hard every
single day of your life to keep
fulfillment in your job and the problem
is they want all of those feelings of
anxiety that they have the feelings of
insecurity or loneliness that they have
and they want it all fixed immediately
so they go looking and looking and
looking and looking and not finding
anything twenty-eight years old had five
jobs they tell me these are their words
not mine that they struggle to form deep
meaningful relationships many of them
will admit that most of their
friendships are superficial that they
cannot rely on their friends in dark
times and that they would not be
surprised if their friends canceled on
them because some better plans came up
they will admit this and they will admit
that they struggle to form the deep
meaningful relationships that are
required to be a successful human being
as social animals we need close
relationships this technology cannot
fill the gap I love technology there’s
nothing wrong with technology the
problem is balance it can live alongside
our lives it can live alongside our
relationships it cannot replace our
relationships they could have put a
video of me up here today with me not
standing here I could have said
everything exactly the same I could have
even done it live and stood in the
studio would it feel the same or is it
better to have me here of course it’s
if I were to come to your house for
dinner you make me a lovely dinner and
the next day I send you an email saying
what a wonderful host you are what a
wonderful time I had or three days later
you get a handwritten note from me with
the exact same words as we’re in the
email which one makes you feel better
handwritten note same words same intent
same sentiment the difference is as we
know you know it took me a few extra
moments it took me a little more time
and a little more energy to send you
that note and you felt it time and
energy we’re using technology to try and
eliminate human time and energy but it’s
time and energy the sacrifice of those
non redeemable commodities that makes
human beings field valued and valuable I
hear this all the time I talk to
executives and they always try to say to
me proudly we’ve really cared that our
employees love working for our company
I’m like how do you know that did you
hire some outside consultancy to conduct
an online survey of your employees to
see if they love working there and they
go yeah I’m like okay riddle me this
Batman what if you were to send an email
to your son dear son your mom and I
really care that you feel like you’re a
valuable member of this family
please tell me candidly how we can be
better parents because we love you love
dad or you walk into his room you sit on
his bed and you say son your mom and I
really care that you feel like you’re a
valuable member of this family please
tell me what you think we can do better
as parents because we love you same
words same intention same sentiment the
only difference is in only one of those
examples does he feel you care and this
is the other problem it’s the
environment that we’re creating with so
much technology right so you havin
that’s growing up with lower self esteem
addicted technology a lack of coping
mechanisms and they want all of their
problems fixed immediately they want
everything fixed immediately
as if they’re standing at the foot of a
mountain and they can see the thing that
they want they can see the summit I want
to make an impact what they don’t see is
the mountain this large and movable
object called
the journey you can go quickly you can
go slowly this is not about doing your
time I don’t care you take a helicopter
out them up the mountain but there’s
still a mountain and life and
friendships and love and job fulfillment
is hard work and it’s gonna require a
lot of help because it’s uphill and it’s
gonna take time
and you may never reach the summit but
that’s not the point
the point is how you feel along the
journey and this generation has missed
that and they want everything solved
immediately they’re not entitled they
are not entitled they are impatient the
last one is perhaps the most egregious
of all of the observations and that is
environment because we are taking this
amazing idealistic smart hard-working
fantastic group of human beings that
have been dealt a bad hand and we have
no empathy for the hand that they’ve
been dealt in sometimes as marketers we
are irresponsible because what we do is
shove more technology at them because
that’s what kids these days want never
considering how they actually feel and
we’re starting to see a backlash we’re
starting to see people put their phones
away we’re starting to see people shut
down their Facebook accounts we’re
starting to see the rise of
organizations like meet up again which
you look at the popularity of Airbnb
which is using technology to bring human
beings together but not using technology
to replace human beings being together
give people that and they will fall in
love with you and they will fall in love with the brands that you represent
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