[Music]
so so much homie it’s truly an honor to
be here I’m how are you doing okay I
hope and I sincerely hope that you’ll
still be that enthusiastic and that
upbeat the end of the talk it is a
difficult subject it is a subject that
will evoke emotion and I’m under no
illusions I know there will be people in
this room who will have been personally
affected by suicide a recent American
study showed that those survey
eighty-five percent of people questioned
have had some personal exposure to
suicide in the UK figures from papyrus
which is a suicide prevention charity
show that 200 children of school age
every year take their own lives for
school children per week this is a
standard this is a tragedy and yet we
don’t talk we are embarrassed ashamed
overwhelmed and beautiful and so silence
brains and here we do want to reduce
suicide rates we all want to fight back
against this scandal and this tragedy
there are three ways that we need to go
about reducing the suicide rates the
first prevention offering people
alternatives educating raising awareness
reducing stigma encouraging people to
talk whether it’s in schools workplaces
communities empowerment intervention
there will be times when we need to make
direct intervention steps at points of
crisis to prevent the immediate harm of
a person who might be in your care and
that is vital and that’s key
but the third area which is what I’m
going to talk to you about today is to
tell you you may not have before suits
like post Beijing is anyone
no because we don’t want to think about
someone suicide post engine is is what
do we do if the work should happen in
the aftermath of a suicide what steps do
we take to support those left behind to
help them manage their grief to continue
that prevention measures of raising
awareness and offering alternatives
because let’s be under no illusion this
is an incredibly high risk time studies
have shown that in the event of a
suicides between 10 and 60 people are
directly impacted you have to deal with
those questions that doubt that fear
that horrible
that’s rumour and guilt in the case of
death in the school of a young person
that think it can be far far higher a
study by the University of Manchester
looks at young people under the age of
25 I’m taking their own eyes over a
two-year period out the 922 young people
one in nine of them had been recently
bereaved by suicide for themselves
suicide if not managed if not supported
if not cared for can be contagious so
what do we do with their heads in the
sand at the moment that’s what we do
don’t want to face it the idea that
something our lives might feel in these
emotions but feeling these thoughts and
experience we simply can’t process it we
don’t want to acknowledge it especially
for the inner child we are left
desperately unprepared and then if the
worst should happen well we know what
can happen it’s even got a name diverter
effect this is an 18th century novel a
young man arrived in love takes his own
life following that publication there
was a trend young men across Europe
found dressed in the outfit carrying a
copy of the book in their hand we need
to acknowledge this contagion of suicide
if not management can be real it’s scary
cause it’s scary it’s terrifying
so be supporting someone
who is undergoing such deep emotions
left behind in the wake of a death by
suicide what if I say the wrong thing
what if I do the wrong thing what if I
take them over the edge or make things
worse so what could I do I’ll light up
attending was an accident I’ll pretend
we don’t know I’ll shield them all of
hide them from the truth but we know
this is an Information Age topics like
this are discussed disseminated and
shared if you have that person that
cared about that trust where the other
cannot bring yourself to be honest and
open with a child a young person you
will destroy that relationship you will
destroy that trust so what do we need to
do postvention we need to prepare
ourselves to prepare for the difficult
times ahead you may have heard that the
seven stages of grief shock denial
painkillers anger bargaining depression
testing and acceptance now this journey
is very very different from different
people faces can be repeated and
returned to and it can affect different
people in different ways
but when we’re talking about that by
suicide as one person who was very fussy
so this is grief with the volume turned
up we need to be prepared to help this
child this young person ride these waves
of crushing overwhelming emotion I don’t
have time to talk you through all the
sections today but I don’t like to focus
on pre-painting guilt anger and
depression because this is where we can
take practical steps to support and care
the children who are vulnerable and in
need of our support anyone look at my my
suicide will be wracked with guilt
why didn’t I spot the signs why didn’t
they feel able to come to me why
couldn’t they talk what more could I
thought should I have done if we took
that child these feelings are compounded
and multiplied was it something that I
did why didn’t they love me why couldn’t
I save them and that
crushing if you are going to support a
child you need to hammer home get this
messages that they are not to blame they
are not responsible and this message
needs to be repeated over and over it’s
human nature we will play these thoughts
these feelings over in our head
questioning and doubting ourselves we
need to be a rock that just because a
person is chosen and my question that
were chosen even as I say to die by
suicide this does not mean that they did
not love them the feelings behind
suicide and suicidal thoughts are
complex and I’m clear mental health
issues are cruel life affects how we see
ourselves how we interact with the
reality around us love and still exist
and ultimately this is a problematic
point the only person responsible not to
blame responsible is the person who’s
died by suicide this is not about
blaming that person or laying it on it
but ultimately the responsibility lies
there and I speak to someone who has
been at that point where I felt suicide
was the best option for myself for my
family for my friends I take
responsibility for getting to that stage
and it’s problematic and you can
question that if you like the important
point to hammer home in conjunction with
this is that asking for help is not a
sign of weakness it’s a sign of strength
that having suicidal feelings can be
normal but taking that step towards
suicide is not the only option that
there is support there is help there is
guidance there is love and oh of course
you will feel angry because it can feel
like that person has chosen death
instead of a life with you that seems
like a choice that no loving person
would make so you would question what
could that person actually nothing
I was normal but anger can make us
behave irrationally we know that both
buried by suicide behaving reckless ways
don’t have himself take risks self-harm
act out this is understanding this is
normal that we need to keep that child
safe we need to get other people but
it’s too big for one person whether it’s
friends family police officers teachers
youth workers social workers support
lines fill the support system around
yourself to offer the best care and
reassure that child or young person
you’re not going anywhere we’ve got a
remedy as a person supporting a child
you are very likely to be done through
these stages of grief yourself you may
well be feeling a huge amount of anger
and I’m not expecting you to offer I’m
not expecting anyone to be able to shrug
that to one side but you can run one
line and you can show yes I’m angry
yes I’m overwhelmed but we work through
and we will channel this anger
positively to make sure that this event
does not happen again the depression
case is difficult it overwhelms us it
can make us doubt for the point or
purpose of life is it can make us
question every decision we’ve ever made
every relationship we have ever had if
left unsupported a child can start to
experience suicidal feelings themselves
to start to doubt it’s just inevitable
so we need to know your own insight
losing interest in hobbies interests
giving away possessions telling people
that they feel there’s no point they
said about the self harm self neglect
feeling like being a burden giving up
and future dreams and finally making a
plan these feelings these emotions these
signs can be hidden can be shielded
especially if that child knows that you
agree
so I don’t want to be a burden on this
cave I don’t want to worry my mom my dad
my teacher so I’ll hide it I’ll keep it
to myself so we need to talk we need to
have those discussions as we said
silence is the biggest killer if you are
concerned about child asked the
diametric question if you get nothing
else out of today’s talk of the direct
question
you’re not gonna better thought in that
child’s head it’s not there already by
saying look I want to make sure you’re
safe
have you ever had thoughts about killing
yourself hey I’m not gonna go do you
know what I haven’t but that’s a
cracking idea I say that flippantly but
I mean it because this is what we think
but these thoughts are kind of even
especially in the way it’s suicidal if
we are calm at we can measure ourselves
we make ourselves available to song to
go Canadian approach and say yes
sometimes I do thank you for telling me
let’s deal with it let’s manage it
together because these feelings are
normal but it’s managing it’s knowing
that you don’t have to be alone
these feelings these thoughts these
issues and hope from the bottom of my
heart that you never have to worry about
this I hope that it never affects you
but if it ever does I want you to have
that little bit of knowledge that sees
knowledge inside that there is a path
through that there is groups out there
you might have heard of child mine Pyrus
Samaritans to offer that support to have
an external person who you can reach out
into the child can reach charity child
minding figures that showing every heart
power a child contacts them experiencing
suicidal thoughts and that’s a scary
figure but on the flip side that they
know that they can turn to them is
wonderful in the event that the work
should happen there are organizations
out there who can offer care office or
whether it’s cruise whether it’s those
under the support of the suicide
partnership do have a wealth of
resources out there encourage you to
look them up throughout all of this
your own self-care must come first you
need to be in best position to look
after that childlike young person you
can’t fall from an empty cup as the
saying goes prioritize yourself can look
after yourself you will need help and
there’s nothing wrong with that being
strong for your family for your friends
for the people around you does not mean
neglecting yourself technics is such an
inadequate time to talk about such a
huge emotive subject so if you do want
to look em on there is resources as I’ve
said out there – fantastic publications
help is at hand by public health England
and finding the words from the supporter
suicide partnership if you have the
opportunity if you have the need if you
know someone who might be in need I
reckon there because it will give you a
fantastic insight in all conversations
that you have whether it’s about suicide
or mental health in general be loving be
[Applause] [Music]
so so much homie it’s truly an honor to
be here I’m how are you doing okay I
hope and I sincerely hope that you’ll
still be that enthusiastic and that
upbeat the end of the talk it is a
difficult subject it is a subject that
will evoke emotion and I’m under no
illusions I know there will be people in
this room who will have been personally
affected by suicide a recent American
study showed that those survey
eighty-five percent of people questioned
have had some personal exposure to
suicide in the UK figures from papyrus
which is a suicide prevention charity
show that 200 children of school age
every year take their own lives for
school children per week this is a
standard this is a tragedy and yet we
don’t talk we are embarrassed ashamed
overwhelmed and beautiful and so silence
brains and here we do want to reduce
suicide rates we all want to fight back
against this scandal and this tragedy
there are three ways that we need to go
about reducing the suicide rates the
first prevention offering people
alternatives educating raising awareness
reducing stigma encouraging people to
talk whether it’s in schools workplaces
communities empowerment intervention
there will be times when we need to make
direct intervention steps at points of
crisis to prevent the immediate harm of
a person who might be in your care and
that is vital and that’s key
but the third area which is what I’m
going to talk to you about today is to
tell you you may not have before suits
like post Beijing is anyone
no because we don’t want to think about
someone suicide post engine is is what
do we do if the work should happen in
the aftermath of a suicide what steps do
we take to support those left behind to
help them manage their grief to continue
that prevention measures of raising
awareness and offering alternatives
because let’s be under no illusion this
is an incredibly high risk time studies
have shown that in the event of a
suicides between 10 and 60 people are
directly impacted you have to deal with
those questions that doubt that fear
that horrible
that’s rumour and guilt in the case of
death in the school of a young person
that think it can be far far higher a
study by the University of Manchester
looks at young people under the age of
25 I’m taking their own eyes over a
two-year period out the 922 young people
one in nine of them had been recently
bereaved by suicide for themselves
suicide if not managed if not supported
if not cared for can be contagious so
what do we do with their heads in the
sand at the moment that’s what we do
don’t want to face it the idea that
something our lives might feel in these
emotions but feeling these thoughts and
experience we simply can’t process it we
don’t want to acknowledge it especially
for the inner child we are left
desperately unprepared and then if the
worst should happen well we know what
can happen it’s even got a name diverter
effect this is an 18th century novel a
young man arrived in love takes his own
life following that publication there
was a trend young men across Europe
found dressed in the outfit carrying a
copy of the book in their hand we need
to acknowledge this contagion of suicide
if not management can be real it’s scary
cause it’s scary it’s terrifying
so be supporting someone
who is undergoing such deep emotions
left behind in the wake of a death by
suicide what if I say the wrong thing
what if I do the wrong thing what if I
take them over the edge or make things
worse so what could I do I’ll light up
attending was an accident I’ll pretend
we don’t know I’ll shield them all of
hide them from the truth but we know
this is an Information Age topics like
this are discussed disseminated and
shared if you have that person that
cared about that trust where the other
cannot bring yourself to be honest and
open with a child a young person you
will destroy that relationship you will
destroy that trust so what do we need to
do postvention we need to prepare
ourselves to prepare for the difficult
times ahead you may have heard that the
seven stages of grief shock denial
painkillers anger bargaining depression
testing and acceptance now this journey
is very very different from different
people faces can be repeated and
returned to and it can affect different
people in different ways
but when we’re talking about that by
suicide as one person who was very fussy
so this is grief with the volume turned
up we need to be prepared to help this
child this young person ride these waves
of crushing overwhelming emotion I don’t
have time to talk you through all the
sections today but I don’t like to focus
on pre-painting guilt anger and
depression because this is where we can
take practical steps to support and care
the children who are vulnerable and in
need of our support anyone look at my my
suicide will be wracked with guilt
why didn’t I spot the signs why didn’t
they feel able to come to me why
couldn’t they talk what more could I
thought should I have done if we took
that child these feelings are compounded
and multiplied was it something that I
did why didn’t they love me why couldn’t
I save them and that
crushing if you are going to support a
child you need to hammer home get this
messages that they are not to blame they
are not responsible and this message
needs to be repeated over and over it’s
human nature we will play these thoughts
these feelings over in our head
questioning and doubting ourselves we
need to be a rock that just because a
person is chosen and my question that
were chosen even as I say to die by
suicide this does not mean that they did
not love them the feelings behind
suicide and suicidal thoughts are
complex and I’m clear mental health
issues are cruel life affects how we see
ourselves how we interact with the
reality around us love and still exist
and ultimately this is a problematic
point the only person responsible not to
blame responsible is the person who’s
died by suicide this is not about
blaming that person or laying it on it
but ultimately the responsibility lies
there and I speak to someone who has
been at that point where I felt suicide
was the best option for myself for my
family for my friends I take
responsibility for getting to that stage
and it’s problematic and you can
question that if you like the important
point to hammer home in conjunction with
this is that asking for help is not a
sign of weakness it’s a sign of strength
that having suicidal feelings can be
normal but taking that step towards
suicide is not the only option that
there is support there is help there is
guidance there is love and oh of course
you will feel angry because it can feel
like that person has chosen death
instead of a life with you that seems
like a choice that no loving person
would make so you would question what
could that person actually nothing
I was normal but anger can make us
behave irrationally we know that both
buried by suicide behaving reckless ways
don’t have himself take risks self-harm
act out this is understanding this is
normal that we need to keep that child
safe we need to get other people but
it’s too big for one person whether it’s
friends family police officers teachers
youth workers social workers support
lines fill the support system around
yourself to offer the best care and
reassure that child or young person
you’re not going anywhere we’ve got a
remedy as a person supporting a child
you are very likely to be done through
these stages of grief yourself you may
well be feeling a huge amount of anger
and I’m not expecting you to offer I’m
not expecting anyone to be able to shrug
that to one side but you can run one
line and you can show yes I’m angry
yes I’m overwhelmed but we work through
and we will channel this anger
positively to make sure that this event
does not happen again the depression
case is difficult it overwhelms us it
can make us doubt for the point or
purpose of life is it can make us
question every decision we’ve ever made
every relationship we have ever had if
left unsupported a child can start to
experience suicidal feelings themselves
to start to doubt it’s just inevitable
so we need to know your own insight
losing interest in hobbies interests
giving away possessions telling people
that they feel there’s no point they
said about the self harm self neglect
feeling like being a burden giving up
and future dreams and finally making a
plan these feelings these emotions these
signs can be hidden can be shielded
especially if that child knows that you
agree
so I don’t want to be a burden on this
cave I don’t want to worry my mom my dad
my teacher so I’ll hide it I’ll keep it
to myself so we need to talk we need to
have those discussions as we said
silence is the biggest killer if you are
concerned about child asked the
diametric question if you get nothing
else out of today’s talk of the direct
question
you’re not gonna better thought in that
child’s head it’s not there already by
saying look I want to make sure you’re
safe
have you ever had thoughts about killing
yourself hey I’m not gonna go do you
know what I haven’t but that’s a
cracking idea I say that flippantly but
I mean it because this is what we think
but these thoughts are kind of even
especially in the way it’s suicidal if
we are calm at we can measure ourselves
we make ourselves available to song to
go Canadian approach and say yes
sometimes I do thank you for telling me
let’s deal with it let’s manage it
together because these feelings are
normal but it’s managing it’s knowing
that you don’t have to be alone
these feelings these thoughts these
issues and hope from the bottom of my
heart that you never have to worry about
this I hope that it never affects you
but if it ever does I want you to have
that little bit of knowledge that sees
knowledge inside that there is a path
through that there is groups out there
you might have heard of child mine Pyrus
Samaritans to offer that support to have
an external person who you can reach out
into the child can reach charity child
minding figures that showing every heart
power a child contacts them experiencing
suicidal thoughts and that’s a scary
figure but on the flip side that they
know that they can turn to them is
wonderful in the event that the work
should happen there are organizations
out there who can offer care office or
whether it’s cruise whether it’s those
under the support of the suicide
partnership do have a wealth of
resources out there encourage you to
look them up throughout all of this
your own self-care must come first you
need to be in best position to look
after that childlike young person you
can’t fall from an empty cup as the
saying goes prioritize yourself can look
after yourself you will need help and
there’s nothing wrong with that being
strong for your family for your friends
for the people around you does not mean
neglecting yourself technics is such an
inadequate time to talk about such a
huge emotive subject so if you do want
to look em on there is resources as I’ve
said out there – fantastic publications
help is at hand by public health England
and finding the words from the supporter
suicide partnership if you have the
opportunity if you have the need if you
know someone who might be in need I
reckon there because it will give you a
fantastic insight in all conversations
that you have whether it’s about suicide
or mental health in general be loving be
[Applause] [Music]
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