what emotion do you feel when you’re
going to approach someone you’re very
attracted to and there’s an extremely
high probability that she’s going to
tell you to disappear right exactly
absolutely because it’s a real judgement
right we’re gonna see a movie called
kromm where you’ll see this in great
detail but it’s a real judgement it’s
like the best judgement is well I don’t
mind your physical presence but your
jeans should definitely not survive
another generation right and that’s sort
of generally translated into I think we
should just be friends right you know
when you can blow that off and people do
and you have to because it’s part of
being polite and civilized but you know
let’s make no mistake about it
there is no more fundamental judgement
than that so paralysis and there’s no
shortage of men I mean who are
absolutely terrified of women I mean
I’ve had many of them in my practice you
know I had one guy he was so terrified
of women he couldn’t even talk to them
on the phone it’s more common than you
think
so but it’s generally manifested by men
who do who no one cares about so it’s
generally irrelevant so well I’d stick
it to the case it really is the case I’m
not kidding they’re low status men you
know they’re people that are generally
regarded as losers and there’s isn’t
anybody who really gives a damn about
what happens to them one way or another
and there’s a lot more men in that
category than there are women women are
in all sorts of you know social
categories that cause the misery and
distress but that one seems to be
predominantly male one of the things I’m
gonna do when we talk about Freud is I’m
gonna show you this movie crumb which I
just told you about in it it’s actually
it’s very rare thing because it shows
you the world from the perspective of
very intelligent male losers and that’s
just not a perspective you ever see
because it’s the winners that tell the
stories about their life it’s like who
the hell cares about the life of a loser
but this movie is about a loser who
became a winner and you know almost as
an act of revenge and it’s great it’s
great great great examination of the
eatable complex remarkable women select
men that makes them nature
because nature is what selects and so
you know you can think well it’s only
symbolic that women are nature it’s like
no it’s not just symbolic it’s not just
symbolic
you know when the woman in some sense is
the gatekeeper to rep is not in some
sense is the gatekeeper to reproductive
success and you can’t get more like
nature than that in fact it’s the very
definition of nature so as I said there
are lots of reasons why these symbolic
representations are set up the way they
are all right so that’s the Great Mother
Nature the Queen the matrix the matrix
is something from which all things form
same root word as matter mother all the
same root word the matriarch the
container the cornucopia the object to
be fertilized the source of all things
the fecund the pregnant there are more
parts of the Association Network the
strange the emotional the foreigner the
place of return and rest the deep the
valley the cleft the cave hell death and
the grave the moon ruler of the night
and the mysterious dark and matter in
the earth so those aren’t necessarily
associated with femininity but they’re
typically associated with femininity
from a symbolic perspective you know so
like generally like a witch in a movie
doesn’t come riding out of the full
bright Sun at noon right that just
doesn’t happen because it doesn’t make
sense it’s a dark thing and so if you
saw that occurring in the light in a
movie you’d think you know what the
hell’s going on here that doesn’t make
sense and the reason it doesn’t make
sense is because it’s it violates the it
violates the Complex in the symbolic
complex so those are sort of those are
sort of female those are female denizens
of the underworld and he’ll very
pleasant creatures it’s like Medusa with
the head of snakes you know and if you
might if you ask you know why would a
woman have a head of snakes in reference
to a man and that’s really simple I bet
they’re men here oh no the answer to
that I don’t know what you guys think
about this but I was pretty happy when I
thought this up and it took me a long
time so
so if you think about the world in
Darwinian terms right it’s a struggle
for survival in reproduction which are
basically the same thing
survival is you but rep reduction is the
survival of your genes so it’s a
repartee it’s a survival issue over very
long spans of time ok what do we call
the selection mechanism right natural
selection right its nature who does the
selection okay so let me tell you
something that makes female humans
different than female chimps I mean
there’s lots of things that do but so
but here here’s an important one if you
look at which male in a female in a
chimp troop father as most of the
offspring it’s the dominant male but the
reason for that isn’t because the female
chimp sort of flock around the dominant
male now that happens in other species
but doesn’t happen with chimps what
happens is the dominant male chases all
the subordinate males away and will
interfere with any sexual behavior they
manifest it’ll chase them away the
females though are perfectly happy to
mate with a subordinate male if they’re
in heat and they get the opportunity so
they go into heat which is something
that doesn’t happen with female humans
and they really don’t care who they mate
with okay female humans are much
different than that they’re picky so
there there are really they’re choosy
it’s a big deal it’s a big deal that
they’re choosy as women also seem to
evaluate men for their fitness now so
lots of men have no sexual partners and
they have no children that’s not the
case with women almost all women have
one child or more and it’s a rare woman
indeed who cannot find a sexual partner
some of you undoubtedly have already
experienced what it’s like to be
possessed by a particularly stupid idea
you know so maybe you’ve grown out of
one or two of the stupid ideas that
possessed you or maybe you’re possessed
by an attraction to someone you can’t
control or you can’t control your eating
behavior or you you know you’re a
pushover when it comes to interpersonal
interactions because you’re too
agreeable or you fly off the handle and
fight and you know none of this is
really under your control
and so all of those things that that
that manifest themselves not only in
your behaviors but in your perceptions
your perceptions themselves you know
they tend to take on embodied form and
use you as the vehicle for their
activity so you know and when you’re
thinking about something like anger for
example think about how it works because
it’s quite peculiar
um what must someone generally do how
much someone generally act if you’re
going to be angry at them they have to
be irritating right you know they have
to provoke you in some way
well the mere fact that you perceive
what they’re doing is irritating or
provoking doesn’t ensure that anyone
else would have thought about it as
irritating or provoking or that that’s
what they meant or that that’s what’s
happening and my point is my point is
it’s very important to think about these
complexes of ideas as subpersonalities
because otherwise you really don’t get
what they’re like if you’re angry if you
have a proclivity towards anger
especially if it’s unthinking proclivity
anything that someone says might
irritate you and it isn’t like they say
something and you think about it and
then you get irritated it’s like you
perceive the person as irritating you
know maybe it’s just the way they hold
their mouth or something it’s it can be
very very subtle and you might say well
it’s not me it’s you it’s not that I’m
irritated by you it’s that you’re
irritating and that you know that’s a
very difficult thing to settle because
the reality is somewhere between the
subjective and the objective right and a
lot of arguments that you’ll have with
people throughout your life are about
exactly that am i are you irritating or
am i oversensitive it’s like well you
know we’re gonna hash that out for a
good long time before we figure it out
but the point is is that if you’re
possessed by an emotional state or a
motivational state or an idea or some
kind of complex you’ll see the world
through its eyes and then the facts
reveal themselves to you through the
lens of that particular set of ideas so
it’s very frightening idea because you
know we like to think of ourselves as
masters of our own house which is
completely clueless because it’s obvious
if you watch yourself for like a month
that you hardly ever do
what you tell yourself to do when you’re
liable to do all sorts of other things
that you don’t even want to do you know
because you say well I’m gonna go to the
gym three times a week and I’m not going
to drink you know and maybe there’s this
person I’m not going to associate with
and then you know you don’t go to the
gym and you find that person and you go
out and drink with them and you think
what the hell is going on you know and
but it’s it’s it’s you you’re not the
sort of person that will do what you say
and so like what sort of person are you
well that’s a psychoanalytic question
it’s a deep one because you’re a
peculiar thing and there’s parts of you
that are really really really old and
you know that the sort of naive you the
naive young you that you think of
yourself as is like a little piece of
flotsam in an ocean of complexity and
the ocean of complexity is you and part
of diving down into the depths is to
start to understand what it means to be
human and like whatever that means it’s
the one thing you can say about it for sure is that it’s bloody peculiar
going to approach someone you’re very
attracted to and there’s an extremely
high probability that she’s going to
tell you to disappear right exactly
absolutely because it’s a real judgement
right we’re gonna see a movie called
kromm where you’ll see this in great
detail but it’s a real judgement it’s
like the best judgement is well I don’t
mind your physical presence but your
jeans should definitely not survive
another generation right and that’s sort
of generally translated into I think we
should just be friends right you know
when you can blow that off and people do
and you have to because it’s part of
being polite and civilized but you know
let’s make no mistake about it
there is no more fundamental judgement
than that so paralysis and there’s no
shortage of men I mean who are
absolutely terrified of women I mean
I’ve had many of them in my practice you
know I had one guy he was so terrified
of women he couldn’t even talk to them
on the phone it’s more common than you
think
so but it’s generally manifested by men
who do who no one cares about so it’s
generally irrelevant so well I’d stick
it to the case it really is the case I’m
not kidding they’re low status men you
know they’re people that are generally
regarded as losers and there’s isn’t
anybody who really gives a damn about
what happens to them one way or another
and there’s a lot more men in that
category than there are women women are
in all sorts of you know social
categories that cause the misery and
distress but that one seems to be
predominantly male one of the things I’m
gonna do when we talk about Freud is I’m
gonna show you this movie crumb which I
just told you about in it it’s actually
it’s very rare thing because it shows
you the world from the perspective of
very intelligent male losers and that’s
just not a perspective you ever see
because it’s the winners that tell the
stories about their life it’s like who
the hell cares about the life of a loser
but this movie is about a loser who
became a winner and you know almost as
an act of revenge and it’s great it’s
great great great examination of the
eatable complex remarkable women select
men that makes them nature
because nature is what selects and so
you know you can think well it’s only
symbolic that women are nature it’s like
no it’s not just symbolic it’s not just
symbolic
you know when the woman in some sense is
the gatekeeper to rep is not in some
sense is the gatekeeper to reproductive
success and you can’t get more like
nature than that in fact it’s the very
definition of nature so as I said there
are lots of reasons why these symbolic
representations are set up the way they
are all right so that’s the Great Mother
Nature the Queen the matrix the matrix
is something from which all things form
same root word as matter mother all the
same root word the matriarch the
container the cornucopia the object to
be fertilized the source of all things
the fecund the pregnant there are more
parts of the Association Network the
strange the emotional the foreigner the
place of return and rest the deep the
valley the cleft the cave hell death and
the grave the moon ruler of the night
and the mysterious dark and matter in
the earth so those aren’t necessarily
associated with femininity but they’re
typically associated with femininity
from a symbolic perspective you know so
like generally like a witch in a movie
doesn’t come riding out of the full
bright Sun at noon right that just
doesn’t happen because it doesn’t make
sense it’s a dark thing and so if you
saw that occurring in the light in a
movie you’d think you know what the
hell’s going on here that doesn’t make
sense and the reason it doesn’t make
sense is because it’s it violates the it
violates the Complex in the symbolic
complex so those are sort of those are
sort of female those are female denizens
of the underworld and he’ll very
pleasant creatures it’s like Medusa with
the head of snakes you know and if you
might if you ask you know why would a
woman have a head of snakes in reference
to a man and that’s really simple I bet
they’re men here oh no the answer to
that I don’t know what you guys think
about this but I was pretty happy when I
thought this up and it took me a long
time so
so if you think about the world in
Darwinian terms right it’s a struggle
for survival in reproduction which are
basically the same thing
survival is you but rep reduction is the
survival of your genes so it’s a
repartee it’s a survival issue over very
long spans of time ok what do we call
the selection mechanism right natural
selection right its nature who does the
selection okay so let me tell you
something that makes female humans
different than female chimps I mean
there’s lots of things that do but so
but here here’s an important one if you
look at which male in a female in a
chimp troop father as most of the
offspring it’s the dominant male but the
reason for that isn’t because the female
chimp sort of flock around the dominant
male now that happens in other species
but doesn’t happen with chimps what
happens is the dominant male chases all
the subordinate males away and will
interfere with any sexual behavior they
manifest it’ll chase them away the
females though are perfectly happy to
mate with a subordinate male if they’re
in heat and they get the opportunity so
they go into heat which is something
that doesn’t happen with female humans
and they really don’t care who they mate
with okay female humans are much
different than that they’re picky so
there there are really they’re choosy
it’s a big deal it’s a big deal that
they’re choosy as women also seem to
evaluate men for their fitness now so
lots of men have no sexual partners and
they have no children that’s not the
case with women almost all women have
one child or more and it’s a rare woman
indeed who cannot find a sexual partner
some of you undoubtedly have already
experienced what it’s like to be
possessed by a particularly stupid idea
you know so maybe you’ve grown out of
one or two of the stupid ideas that
possessed you or maybe you’re possessed
by an attraction to someone you can’t
control or you can’t control your eating
behavior or you you know you’re a
pushover when it comes to interpersonal
interactions because you’re too
agreeable or you fly off the handle and
fight and you know none of this is
really under your control
and so all of those things that that
that manifest themselves not only in
your behaviors but in your perceptions
your perceptions themselves you know
they tend to take on embodied form and
use you as the vehicle for their
activity so you know and when you’re
thinking about something like anger for
example think about how it works because
it’s quite peculiar
um what must someone generally do how
much someone generally act if you’re
going to be angry at them they have to
be irritating right you know they have
to provoke you in some way
well the mere fact that you perceive
what they’re doing is irritating or
provoking doesn’t ensure that anyone
else would have thought about it as
irritating or provoking or that that’s
what they meant or that that’s what’s
happening and my point is my point is
it’s very important to think about these
complexes of ideas as subpersonalities
because otherwise you really don’t get
what they’re like if you’re angry if you
have a proclivity towards anger
especially if it’s unthinking proclivity
anything that someone says might
irritate you and it isn’t like they say
something and you think about it and
then you get irritated it’s like you
perceive the person as irritating you
know maybe it’s just the way they hold
their mouth or something it’s it can be
very very subtle and you might say well
it’s not me it’s you it’s not that I’m
irritated by you it’s that you’re
irritating and that you know that’s a
very difficult thing to settle because
the reality is somewhere between the
subjective and the objective right and a
lot of arguments that you’ll have with
people throughout your life are about
exactly that am i are you irritating or
am i oversensitive it’s like well you
know we’re gonna hash that out for a
good long time before we figure it out
but the point is is that if you’re
possessed by an emotional state or a
motivational state or an idea or some
kind of complex you’ll see the world
through its eyes and then the facts
reveal themselves to you through the
lens of that particular set of ideas so
it’s very frightening idea because you
know we like to think of ourselves as
masters of our own house which is
completely clueless because it’s obvious
if you watch yourself for like a month
that you hardly ever do
what you tell yourself to do when you’re
liable to do all sorts of other things
that you don’t even want to do you know
because you say well I’m gonna go to the
gym three times a week and I’m not going
to drink you know and maybe there’s this
person I’m not going to associate with
and then you know you don’t go to the
gym and you find that person and you go
out and drink with them and you think
what the hell is going on you know and
but it’s it’s it’s you you’re not the
sort of person that will do what you say
and so like what sort of person are you
well that’s a psychoanalytic question
it’s a deep one because you’re a
peculiar thing and there’s parts of you
that are really really really old and
you know that the sort of naive you the
naive young you that you think of
yourself as is like a little piece of
flotsam in an ocean of complexity and
the ocean of complexity is you and part
of diving down into the depths is to
start to understand what it means to be
human and like whatever that means it’s
the one thing you can say about it for sure is that it’s bloody peculiar
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