okay now that that’s out of the way so
imagine if you are faced with a major
life-changing decision we call it the
hoop hill red pill test you pick one of
these pills it will lead you to a life
of wealth and prosperity and you will be
you will be meet someone who’s you know
a boy or girl of your dream and have a
very happy life after and this is a test
that a lot of people have taken before
you and a lot of people take afternoon
so the question is how would you go
about preparing for this test you will
probably go around asking for help or
you probably do some research online and
you will probably want to gather a lot
of data points about what people who
have made this decision before the
people who have chosen red pill what
happened to them the people got chosen
the blue pill what happened those and
you probably come up with a statistical
answer a well-informed response to how
to make the decision choosing between
the red and the blue pill but in reality
when a lot of times when we make these
life-changing major decisions we don’t
really gather that many data points a
lot of times in life we simply ask
another group of people to help us make
this decision this week Mary’s parents
are involved in major life decisions of
the vast majority of young people in
China particularly decisions such as
your education your career or your
spouse
these slashing decisions are happening
in different stages of life some earlier
some later the earlier decisions such as
education we have a deeper and more
profound effect so-called butterfly
effect of your life and how do we how do
parents do when they make these
decisions right how do we know if
parents are good at helping their
children making these kind of decisions
take education for example just
yesterday in the day before
China has is finished the national
college entrance exam known as alcohol
hey how many he had went through got out
before a bass Authority excellent did
you take your own major independent like
who picked your own major without any
inputs on their parents zero input from
parents complete okay I’m very proud of
you of those who raised your hand a lot
of the times it’s a collective decision
with parents between the parents the
t-shirt and a child and I was saying a
lot of times is just a decision purely
by the parents because the child simply
has no idea or what to choose
so how are parents how do parents do
right how do parents do and making this
decision for the kids well a study done
by the National College Board found this
statistics they asked a question do you
like your major for college students who
are currently in the school around 20
percent say that you about 30 percent
saying no I don’t like my major
roughly half 50 percent say I don’t know
I don’t know if I like my major ideally
in a perfect scenario in a perfect world
where parents really understand the
children and parents really understand
what is best for them and what they like
the yes part should be
at 100% in an absolute ideal world where
parents do a social job maybe we should
be looking at 50 52 percent say yes 50
percent say no what will we have here
this metric is a lot worse half of the
people don’t even know if they like
their major what does that mean it means
they don’t know what they want they’ve
already gone through gal-pal they’ve
gone through a few years of university
education and they still don’t know if
this was the right decision for them and
they probably wouldn’t know until later
maybe much later in life when they
reflect back to the Bay of Valhalla to
the day the parents and them and the
teachers that together and just fill out
that form to take that major and that
university by then I would say a little
bit too late
human decision-making process is
interesting if we reflect back on how we
make some of these life-changing
decisions of how I make decisions in
general it’s like picking out of a can
of soda right
a few days ago I was in my hometown of
hunt it was very hot humid and I went
out to the shop and bought a bucket of
beverages for my family so obviously I
actually picked out the ones that you
know I thought were good options I
picked out water
I picked coca-cola and pickup spray I
think that an orange soda and a cream
soda and I brought it over to my
relatives and I said what would you like
to drink and some of people said water
some people said soda when I asked him
well which so did you like
and they said well it doesn’t matter
they all the same
and I thought but no they’re not all the
same some of them are really sweet some
of them are a little bit wavering but
you must have a preference but they
don’t and then autonomy my ability to
pick these different flavors and my
ability to see the difference between
them comes from the fact that I’ve had a
life of experience in drinking different
types of soda I’ve had experience with
these different types of sodas to
develop a preference what does that mean
it means that our ability to make
decisions of seemingly similar claims
comes from our understanding of their
differences if we can perceive a
difference between different options
that we can make an informed decision
now using that as an analogy for picking
a major we all know there’s the sciences
and there’s the arts one could be cook
everybody knows will cook and cook but
do we know what then we’ll cook the
difference between literature philosophy
history like they all sound different
obviously they’re different courses in
school but do we know what it’s like to
major in one area spend four years of
undergraduate studying and maybe two
three years and hop in the Graduate
School continue to study it and then
with that major on your resume go look
for a job with it do we know that whole
process what is that going to be like I
think very few people do similarly if
we’re looking at a career choice we know
a job like engineering are people who
build things people who build this
building people who are building the
buildings outside and we know they’re
people who deal with numbers banking
insurance venture capital these are all
finance jobs but can we know the
difference between these finance jobs
now where they end up do we know the
average salary of somewhere
banking insurance venture capital do we
know where the career path will lead
somebody who works in banking for 10 20
years versus someone course in venture
capital or two 20 years and another
question would be if you started your
career in one of these areas would you
have an option to switch out of it if a
few years later you figure out you don’t
actually enjoy a career in this industry
I think all of the answers to all those
questions will be known for vast
majority of people who are making this
decision if parents were really really
good at figuring out whether kids want
and parents were really good and
responsible at helping the children
complete the blue theoretical sense of
life then they should be in picking an
education for their kids sending their
kids to college emphasis to audit
classes to talk to upperclassmen who
have completed a major in philosophy
history or a different major of your
child’s choosing and then go to the
Career Center and figure out statistics
on how do people who with these majors
do in life after they graduate what kind
of jobs do they go onto to take and how
much income do the maker but that’s not
all parents make a decision on education
what do they do instead can someone tell
me what do parents do instead when they
okay they could basically tell the kids
to do what the parents wanted to do in
the first place they live vicariously
through their children to have them
complete your dreams that you couldn’t
complete in your life anything else
salary level okay that’s actually not
bad if you look at selling though
because it’s it’s its current
information right if it’s very
up-to-date and could be helpful anyone
else reputation of the school and suits
you
I think SUNY you is the last thing
people look at most parents look at
rankings they look at if you’re in China
to look at you know job lol if you’re in
a brothel okay US ranking UK ranking
they go down the list of ranking of the
universities until they stop at a point
this is a school you can get into with
your grades and your recommendation
letters and your whole package that’s
the school the best possible school you
could get into with your grades and they
talk to you know college but sultans it
pops your friends and family and upper
classmen to figure out that equation
what is the best possible school for you
to attend the major doesn’t matter it is
much better it’s much more important
that you get into the best possible
school and it matters less while you
actually study them and that is an
insanity of vast majority of Chinese
parents when they take this education
for the kids thank you probably realized
by now that in making this happen in
this position in using this type of
mentality to make a life-changing
decision would be an education career
finding a spouse you’re forgetting are
the most important ingredient and
someone has shouted out earlier fit
right there may be a million different
types of jobs out there but only a
handful of aren’t good for you are fit
for you your personality what you like
there may be millions of people out
there
possible as a spouse but only a handful
of personalities are the ones that would
fit you and be and have a happy life
with you and what happens if over time
you stick with a decision that is not a
good fit
you reach a crisis we’ve gone from over
the past you know and in a 5-10 years
from a bit like crisis to quarter life
crisis because we are learning earlier
and earlier onwards because information
is becoming more more transparent we’ve
realized earlier in life that something
is not fitting us that a particular life
changing decision a very important
decision that we’ve made has not been
the right decision now why do we
continue to listen to parents or others
well we don’t know how to choose well
one I look for answer on jakku a lot
which is the most popular Q&A forum in
China one particularly answer with 24
million views the extra question what
are some common logic says parents use
that our hearts to ourselves and the top
answer says we’re parents that win they
will use logic to argue with you where
parents cannot win they will use ethics
in what ethics is this perseverance was
the antics of Confucius in confusion
ethics the idea of filial piety is one
where we must attach our parent they
divided it into three tiers the best
possible tier is shooting your parents
with the ultimate respect second level
is to not get disgrace Germans and the
worst is simply being able to take care
of your parents so when your parents age
and their old we’re supposed to hear
them which I speak earlier that’s very
good yeah very very good very graciously
chosen to do and at a second level you
should not be open this race you should
not be doing things that a team that
being proper that your parents are doing
the top plot tell their friends and
neighbors spells and the best you should
honor their opinions their opinions
matter issue at least listen or heat
your advice carefully and that’s the
kind of burden that every single Chinese
for the Bears
but these advice or these rule of thumb
written by Confucius is how many years
old how many years old would you think
this is at least a couple of thousands
years old right a lot has changed since
then China is a very collective Society
in contrast with the West where it is
much more individualistic in general we
make decisions more collectively as a
family because up until only the recent
years people used to live in close
quarters in under the same roof you
would grow up living with your parents
you would get married and still live
with your parents you would have as and
still live with your parents so all of
these life-changing decisions what your
career would be or who you’re in the
married does in fact have a major impact
on your parents life because they live
together and your lifestyle matters to
them if you work late or come home later
you know have a lot of parties at home
and be very social but that has changed
with modern technology and with the
modern way of living we have been
enabled and empowered by technology to
study at far distances even abroad in
different countries we have been
empowered to work in different cities
and we can even live in different cities
away from my parents and we can even
live in the same city but in different
quarters because of a revolution in
housing
and that has made it so the people are
becoming much more individualistic but
at the same time though we are still
under a huge financial pressure because
some of the most important some of the
major life spending most expensive items
that we purchase in life are financially
supported by our parents buy an
apartment buying a house right if you’re
financially dependent on your parents
for the most expensive items that you
buy in life the most victories like that
the most high class access how do you
make decisions completely independent on
your own and still have your parents be
happy to contribute that is a problem
that each Chinese person has to deal
with even though under these
circumstances we want to be more free
and more individualistic and more
independent so how do we come back to
the decision problem how do we make
better decisions how to make more
informed decisions to be able to tell
the difference between different types
of sodas that make up life that’s super
important in our next you know that
life’s the decision that will stick with
us for the rest of our lives in finding
fits my answer is for education to visit
more universities and college campuses
and honor the classes function upper
classes that figure out what will be the
right fit for yourself in career to take
on more internships to get involved with
your feet dirty in the industries and
the companies that you want to be
potentially work at full time once you
finish school and what you know you have
four years of undergraduate you have to
do years of graduate school yet up to
seven years to make this happen if
figured out where you want to be and
we’re stopped saying people is is not
it’s not even the problem it’s not it’s
not problematic if you have
all thinking out this is good for you
this will help you figure out who is the
best fit person for you to start a
family with and the role of the parents
it should be shrinking parents should go
from dominant decision maker for your
life-changing decisions down to an
influencer who has a lot of say in
highly the side of things all the way
down to an advisor what is the role of
an advisor and the divisor is someone
who gives you all of the necessary
information to make a decision if not
providing you with the resources so that
you can go out and gather data to make
those information available to yourself
and be there for fit for emotional and
support independence is something that
we often think of in Chinese society
that you don’t truly get until you’re
you know married with kids but that’s
too late at the point where you maybe
you’re married with kids and that’s the
point where you start to make
life-changing decisions by yourself
that’s too late
independence should be much earlier I
was fortunate enough that even though I
was raised by my grandparents and later
by very overprotective parents I was
given the opportunity to go to boarding
school at the age of 15 and from that
point onwards it was really up to me to
decide which college I wanted to go to
what I wanted to major in and ultimately
where I wanted to work and kickstart my
career which enabled me to eventually
figure out that I really wanted to be an
entrepreneur a highly risk-taking move
that would have been impossible if I had
lived under the same roof of my parents
and happened have the same kind of major
impact on me American chocolate so in
conclusion I think I would urge everyone
in this room to start making decisions
for yourself by yourself as early as you
can starting from today and I would urge
anybody with children to start allowing
your kids no matter how young great even
as toddlers to make their own
ask them which one they want and then
have them live with the consequence of
that decision even if they’re the wrong
decisions and bad decisions because it
is much more is much better that you
live and learn
the consequence of a bad decision today
than to wait twenty years down the line thank you
imagine if you are faced with a major
life-changing decision we call it the
hoop hill red pill test you pick one of
these pills it will lead you to a life
of wealth and prosperity and you will be
you will be meet someone who’s you know
a boy or girl of your dream and have a
very happy life after and this is a test
that a lot of people have taken before
you and a lot of people take afternoon
so the question is how would you go
about preparing for this test you will
probably go around asking for help or
you probably do some research online and
you will probably want to gather a lot
of data points about what people who
have made this decision before the
people who have chosen red pill what
happened to them the people got chosen
the blue pill what happened those and
you probably come up with a statistical
answer a well-informed response to how
to make the decision choosing between
the red and the blue pill but in reality
when a lot of times when we make these
life-changing major decisions we don’t
really gather that many data points a
lot of times in life we simply ask
another group of people to help us make
this decision this week Mary’s parents
are involved in major life decisions of
the vast majority of young people in
China particularly decisions such as
your education your career or your
spouse
these slashing decisions are happening
in different stages of life some earlier
some later the earlier decisions such as
education we have a deeper and more
profound effect so-called butterfly
effect of your life and how do we how do
parents do when they make these
decisions right how do we know if
parents are good at helping their
children making these kind of decisions
take education for example just
yesterday in the day before
China has is finished the national
college entrance exam known as alcohol
hey how many he had went through got out
before a bass Authority excellent did
you take your own major independent like
who picked your own major without any
inputs on their parents zero input from
parents complete okay I’m very proud of
you of those who raised your hand a lot
of the times it’s a collective decision
with parents between the parents the
t-shirt and a child and I was saying a
lot of times is just a decision purely
by the parents because the child simply
has no idea or what to choose
so how are parents how do parents do
right how do parents do and making this
decision for the kids well a study done
by the National College Board found this
statistics they asked a question do you
like your major for college students who
are currently in the school around 20
percent say that you about 30 percent
saying no I don’t like my major
roughly half 50 percent say I don’t know
I don’t know if I like my major ideally
in a perfect scenario in a perfect world
where parents really understand the
children and parents really understand
what is best for them and what they like
the yes part should be
at 100% in an absolute ideal world where
parents do a social job maybe we should
be looking at 50 52 percent say yes 50
percent say no what will we have here
this metric is a lot worse half of the
people don’t even know if they like
their major what does that mean it means
they don’t know what they want they’ve
already gone through gal-pal they’ve
gone through a few years of university
education and they still don’t know if
this was the right decision for them and
they probably wouldn’t know until later
maybe much later in life when they
reflect back to the Bay of Valhalla to
the day the parents and them and the
teachers that together and just fill out
that form to take that major and that
university by then I would say a little
bit too late
human decision-making process is
interesting if we reflect back on how we
make some of these life-changing
decisions of how I make decisions in
general it’s like picking out of a can
of soda right
a few days ago I was in my hometown of
hunt it was very hot humid and I went
out to the shop and bought a bucket of
beverages for my family so obviously I
actually picked out the ones that you
know I thought were good options I
picked out water
I picked coca-cola and pickup spray I
think that an orange soda and a cream
soda and I brought it over to my
relatives and I said what would you like
to drink and some of people said water
some people said soda when I asked him
well which so did you like
and they said well it doesn’t matter
they all the same
and I thought but no they’re not all the
same some of them are really sweet some
of them are a little bit wavering but
you must have a preference but they
don’t and then autonomy my ability to
pick these different flavors and my
ability to see the difference between
them comes from the fact that I’ve had a
life of experience in drinking different
types of soda I’ve had experience with
these different types of sodas to
develop a preference what does that mean
it means that our ability to make
decisions of seemingly similar claims
comes from our understanding of their
differences if we can perceive a
difference between different options
that we can make an informed decision
now using that as an analogy for picking
a major we all know there’s the sciences
and there’s the arts one could be cook
everybody knows will cook and cook but
do we know what then we’ll cook the
difference between literature philosophy
history like they all sound different
obviously they’re different courses in
school but do we know what it’s like to
major in one area spend four years of
undergraduate studying and maybe two
three years and hop in the Graduate
School continue to study it and then
with that major on your resume go look
for a job with it do we know that whole
process what is that going to be like I
think very few people do similarly if
we’re looking at a career choice we know
a job like engineering are people who
build things people who build this
building people who are building the
buildings outside and we know they’re
people who deal with numbers banking
insurance venture capital these are all
finance jobs but can we know the
difference between these finance jobs
now where they end up do we know the
average salary of somewhere
banking insurance venture capital do we
know where the career path will lead
somebody who works in banking for 10 20
years versus someone course in venture
capital or two 20 years and another
question would be if you started your
career in one of these areas would you
have an option to switch out of it if a
few years later you figure out you don’t
actually enjoy a career in this industry
I think all of the answers to all those
questions will be known for vast
majority of people who are making this
decision if parents were really really
good at figuring out whether kids want
and parents were really good and
responsible at helping the children
complete the blue theoretical sense of
life then they should be in picking an
education for their kids sending their
kids to college emphasis to audit
classes to talk to upperclassmen who
have completed a major in philosophy
history or a different major of your
child’s choosing and then go to the
Career Center and figure out statistics
on how do people who with these majors
do in life after they graduate what kind
of jobs do they go onto to take and how
much income do the maker but that’s not
all parents make a decision on education
what do they do instead can someone tell
me what do parents do instead when they
okay they could basically tell the kids
to do what the parents wanted to do in
the first place they live vicariously
through their children to have them
complete your dreams that you couldn’t
complete in your life anything else
salary level okay that’s actually not
bad if you look at selling though
because it’s it’s its current
information right if it’s very
up-to-date and could be helpful anyone
else reputation of the school and suits
you
I think SUNY you is the last thing
people look at most parents look at
rankings they look at if you’re in China
to look at you know job lol if you’re in
a brothel okay US ranking UK ranking
they go down the list of ranking of the
universities until they stop at a point
this is a school you can get into with
your grades and your recommendation
letters and your whole package that’s
the school the best possible school you
could get into with your grades and they
talk to you know college but sultans it
pops your friends and family and upper
classmen to figure out that equation
what is the best possible school for you
to attend the major doesn’t matter it is
much better it’s much more important
that you get into the best possible
school and it matters less while you
actually study them and that is an
insanity of vast majority of Chinese
parents when they take this education
for the kids thank you probably realized
by now that in making this happen in
this position in using this type of
mentality to make a life-changing
decision would be an education career
finding a spouse you’re forgetting are
the most important ingredient and
someone has shouted out earlier fit
right there may be a million different
types of jobs out there but only a
handful of aren’t good for you are fit
for you your personality what you like
there may be millions of people out
there
possible as a spouse but only a handful
of personalities are the ones that would
fit you and be and have a happy life
with you and what happens if over time
you stick with a decision that is not a
good fit
you reach a crisis we’ve gone from over
the past you know and in a 5-10 years
from a bit like crisis to quarter life
crisis because we are learning earlier
and earlier onwards because information
is becoming more more transparent we’ve
realized earlier in life that something
is not fitting us that a particular life
changing decision a very important
decision that we’ve made has not been
the right decision now why do we
continue to listen to parents or others
well we don’t know how to choose well
one I look for answer on jakku a lot
which is the most popular Q&A forum in
China one particularly answer with 24
million views the extra question what
are some common logic says parents use
that our hearts to ourselves and the top
answer says we’re parents that win they
will use logic to argue with you where
parents cannot win they will use ethics
in what ethics is this perseverance was
the antics of Confucius in confusion
ethics the idea of filial piety is one
where we must attach our parent they
divided it into three tiers the best
possible tier is shooting your parents
with the ultimate respect second level
is to not get disgrace Germans and the
worst is simply being able to take care
of your parents so when your parents age
and their old we’re supposed to hear
them which I speak earlier that’s very
good yeah very very good very graciously
chosen to do and at a second level you
should not be open this race you should
not be doing things that a team that
being proper that your parents are doing
the top plot tell their friends and
neighbors spells and the best you should
honor their opinions their opinions
matter issue at least listen or heat
your advice carefully and that’s the
kind of burden that every single Chinese
for the Bears
but these advice or these rule of thumb
written by Confucius is how many years
old how many years old would you think
this is at least a couple of thousands
years old right a lot has changed since
then China is a very collective Society
in contrast with the West where it is
much more individualistic in general we
make decisions more collectively as a
family because up until only the recent
years people used to live in close
quarters in under the same roof you
would grow up living with your parents
you would get married and still live
with your parents you would have as and
still live with your parents so all of
these life-changing decisions what your
career would be or who you’re in the
married does in fact have a major impact
on your parents life because they live
together and your lifestyle matters to
them if you work late or come home later
you know have a lot of parties at home
and be very social but that has changed
with modern technology and with the
modern way of living we have been
enabled and empowered by technology to
study at far distances even abroad in
different countries we have been
empowered to work in different cities
and we can even live in different cities
away from my parents and we can even
live in the same city but in different
quarters because of a revolution in
housing
and that has made it so the people are
becoming much more individualistic but
at the same time though we are still
under a huge financial pressure because
some of the most important some of the
major life spending most expensive items
that we purchase in life are financially
supported by our parents buy an
apartment buying a house right if you’re
financially dependent on your parents
for the most expensive items that you
buy in life the most victories like that
the most high class access how do you
make decisions completely independent on
your own and still have your parents be
happy to contribute that is a problem
that each Chinese person has to deal
with even though under these
circumstances we want to be more free
and more individualistic and more
independent so how do we come back to
the decision problem how do we make
better decisions how to make more
informed decisions to be able to tell
the difference between different types
of sodas that make up life that’s super
important in our next you know that
life’s the decision that will stick with
us for the rest of our lives in finding
fits my answer is for education to visit
more universities and college campuses
and honor the classes function upper
classes that figure out what will be the
right fit for yourself in career to take
on more internships to get involved with
your feet dirty in the industries and
the companies that you want to be
potentially work at full time once you
finish school and what you know you have
four years of undergraduate you have to
do years of graduate school yet up to
seven years to make this happen if
figured out where you want to be and
we’re stopped saying people is is not
it’s not even the problem it’s not it’s
not problematic if you have
all thinking out this is good for you
this will help you figure out who is the
best fit person for you to start a
family with and the role of the parents
it should be shrinking parents should go
from dominant decision maker for your
life-changing decisions down to an
influencer who has a lot of say in
highly the side of things all the way
down to an advisor what is the role of
an advisor and the divisor is someone
who gives you all of the necessary
information to make a decision if not
providing you with the resources so that
you can go out and gather data to make
those information available to yourself
and be there for fit for emotional and
support independence is something that
we often think of in Chinese society
that you don’t truly get until you’re
you know married with kids but that’s
too late at the point where you maybe
you’re married with kids and that’s the
point where you start to make
life-changing decisions by yourself
that’s too late
independence should be much earlier I
was fortunate enough that even though I
was raised by my grandparents and later
by very overprotective parents I was
given the opportunity to go to boarding
school at the age of 15 and from that
point onwards it was really up to me to
decide which college I wanted to go to
what I wanted to major in and ultimately
where I wanted to work and kickstart my
career which enabled me to eventually
figure out that I really wanted to be an
entrepreneur a highly risk-taking move
that would have been impossible if I had
lived under the same roof of my parents
and happened have the same kind of major
impact on me American chocolate so in
conclusion I think I would urge everyone
in this room to start making decisions
for yourself by yourself as early as you
can starting from today and I would urge
anybody with children to start allowing
your kids no matter how young great even
as toddlers to make their own
ask them which one they want and then
have them live with the consequence of
that decision even if they’re the wrong
decisions and bad decisions because it
is much more is much better that you
live and learn
the consequence of a bad decision today
than to wait twenty years down the line thank you
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