I say if your knees aren’t knocking and
your teeth are chattering just a little
at least then you’re not playing big
enough I believe any behavior that you
don’t want any longer the way that the
catalyst to change is recognizing the
price I do more things afraid now than I
do
fearless cuz the bigger you play the
bigger your breakdown new motivation the
what’s that belief nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe you have Michael Jordan level
talat add something and I want you to
find it embrace it and use it to make a
difference so let’s get your motivation
to attend and get you believing in you
grab a snack and chew in today’s lessons
from a woman who went from struggling as
a single mom and being on public
assistance to becoming a
multi-millionaire
entrepreneur an author of seven books
she’s Lisa Nichols and here’s my take on
her top ten rules a success vol 4 also
if you want to hear what Lisa Nichols
and other entrepreneurs have to say
about building confidence check out my
250 for confidence series where every
day for the next 254 days I will send
you a 30 second to five minute video
helping you build unstoppable confidence
for free the link is in the description
below so many times we we we validate
who we are by what we’re doing for other
people you know we who we are is what we
do what we give how we love and what I’m
very clear on is that you are giving the
world an example of how they get to love
you and treat you based on the way you
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one take baby steps
you’re gonna play big say big you’re
gonna play huge say huge you’re gonna
play ginormous say ginormous
but first take baby steps you’re gonna
eat the elephant but take one small bite
first chew it good right we want so much
so fast my grandmother says baby she
starts every sentence with baby I’m sure
it’s because she cannot remember all of
our names she said baby the best things
you’ll ever have from Grandma will never
come from the microwave they always come
from the oven and I was like I think
some somehow she’s trying to give me a
lesson here and I realized that the best
things that you’re gonna create are
gonna take time build it on cement not
sinking saying you’re gonna get tons and
tons and tons of tools here and you’re
gonna want to fast forward when you fast
forward you’re building on Plexiglas
you’ve been on styrofoam you’ve been on
wood you want to build it on semen your
dream is important enough to outlive you
yes yes and so I realized that that you
can’t Google down lower resiliency you
can’t Google download tenacity
you can’t Google download forgiveness
there’s some of the best qualities and
characteristics that’s gonna take you a
long way that you need to invest time in
and energy in and intention in you don’t
just get patience I want patience I’m
waiting for pick somebody’s gonna piss
you off tomorrow and now you get to test
of your patience I realized I realized
that as I wanted to develop me I have to
be willing to climb and I wanted to get
to the top and there’s no elevator to
the top I got to do my squats I got to
work on my quads and my hamstrings and
my calves cuz I gotta climb to the top
we got a Klein rule number two change
your relationship with fear so many
people look at fear or even doubt but
they look at fear as if it’s the
emotional enemy you
it’s the enemy emotion like oh I can
deal with compassion I can do it love I
can do it understanding but when fear
comes oh my god bad thing no first of
all change your relationship to fear
I’ve said this before fear is not the
enemy the feeling of fear is just like
any other emotion fear is actually
informing you fear is telling you that
you need to do something either do more
research get some support get some
insight study a little more slow down
fear is actually feeding you so then ask
yourself the question what do I need to
do think or go get to dissipate this
fear because remember fear is fear
becomes present when you’ve made up
something that could happen in the
future and it makes you afraid right now
like oh my god I’m afraid I can get hurt
in this relationship
oh my god I’m afraid I’m losing my money
well you’re just projecting a story that
you made up then back into that fear ago
okay wait then what do I need to do to
minimize the fear that I might get hurt
what do I need to do to minimize the
fear that I might lose my money what do
I need to do of course you can’t a 100%
eliminate the possibility but you can
greatly reduce the chances by asking
what am I afraid of what am i afraid
that’s gonna happen and then secondly
recognize that fear doesn’t mean stop
people think oh I’m afraid let me stop
okay that’s a choice to stop fear
doesn’t necessarily mean stop fear might
mean proceed with caution or proceed
with more strategy fear does it whenever
I’m feeling fear it doesn’t tell me this
I don’t you think now to stop with a
fear I do think to slow down go get some
help go get some inside voice my fear so
that it’s not just all in my head
recognize that fear is going to come in
when you’re playing bigger than you’ve
ever played before I say if your knees
aren’t knocking and your teeth are
chattering just a little atleast then
you’re not playing big enough
bigger you play the more you’re gonna
feel your knees knock and you don’t hear
your teeth shatter and I’m always
playing big I’m always filling my knees
knock and I’m always hearing my teeth
chatter but I’ve created a relationship
with that fear to go hold on let’s say
fears right here fear
what are you telling me because fear
really is it’s it’s a story it’s it’s
something you think could happen and
could it happen yeah but could it not
happen yeah so don’t try to outrun fear
don’t try to outrun doubt and definitely
don’t wait until and fear are gone
before you move
find out what doubt and fear needs to
dissipate into the nothingness that it
always was what does it need and then
understand that action brings clarity so
the more you move forward the more
action you’re in the more clarity you
get because action breeds clarity and
clarity comes with action so many times
just sitting on the sidelines waiting
waiting to get completely clear before
you take any action and clarity is
waiting for you to get in action to
create clarity so be willing be willing
to play full out a little nervous rule
number three accept yourself I remember
there was a time in my life when all I
wanted was for people to accept me but I
realized that I needed them to accept me
and love me because I wasn’t really
accepting Lisa I wasn’t really loving
Lisa to my fullest so Wow today I don’t
invite you to not care if people reject
you I am inviting you to if you fully
love and show up for you first they
less impacted your less disrupted when
someone doesn’t embrace you the way you
believe you should be embraced see I
realize that we’re we’re ironed for
others iron sharpens iron
we’re also triggers for others there’s a
thousand reasons why someone might
reject you my grandmother says man’s
rejection is God’s protection so not
everyone that’s in your space should be
in your space and sometimes people have
to opt out on your behalf to help you
out how many times have you been in a
friendship or relationship and it ended
and maybe not immediately after it ended
but somewhere in the next 30 60 90 days
a year maybe two years you took a deep
breath huh
I actually feel more relief that that
relationship is transition where there’s
a relationship with a job a friend an ex
whatever so while we don’t want to have
rejection or life I say all rejection
isn’t bad
and sometimes it’s not rejection is
simply transition it’s simply completion
you know I realize that I wanted
everyone to love me but when I began to
love Lisa I stopped having to manage our
having the desire to manage how other
people like me your job is to wake up
each day and like you rule number four
be in a state of cognitive dissonance
abundant thinkers keep themselves in a
constant state of cognitive dissonance
write that down abundant thinkers keep
themselves in a constant state a
constant state of cognitive dissonance
your creative spell it any way you want
now what is cognitive dissonance
cognitive dissonance is when you have
literally thought about a version of
yourself that you’re not currently
living right now meaning the thought
that you have of yourself your behaviors
are not congruent with so your mind
becomes disrupted your mind says wait a
minute you’re seeing me here but my
behaviors aren’t here
and when you keep yourself in a constant
state your mind begins to influence your
behaviors to be congruent with your
thoughts ooh
next level cognitive dissonance abundant
thinkers that’s why he went out to the
ocean that’s why he’s up on stage
because constantly seeing himself
further than what his behaviors want to
really do and then when he doesn’t now I
got that down constantly now it’s being
grateful for your now yes yes being
grateful for your now but clearly seeing
where you’re going and not resting until
you get there rule number five practice
gratitude I start every day with twenty
five things that I’m grateful for and
all 25 things have to cost twenty-five
dollars or less so I can’t be grateful
for my car grateful for my home while I
can be grateful during this exercise I’m
grateful for the time that I spent
cooking him in the kitchen with my son
this weekend I’m grateful for the walks
that my grandmother takes me on I used
to say I take her on walks then I
realized she was educating me that she
takes me on walks I’m grateful for the
fact that I still dance with my daddy
I’m grateful for the moments my nephew
climbs in my bed so we can watch our
latest greatest movie together I’m
grateful for mustard man and garlic girl
in the kitchen cooking that’s my son and
I every single thing that I find
gratitude for is something that helps to
make me who I am and I got to tell you
something happens when you live Park and
stay cemented in gratitude I call that
if your dream is the seed then gratitude
is the fertilizer and so gratitude
constant gratitude recognizing that you
are a servant leader with a servant’s
heart and when you say the word servant
servant and ego just don’t go together
servant is to serve but not a servant
from a peasant mindset but a servant
from the place where you say I choose to
leave from behind I choose to use my
greatness and my life to elevate you I
choose to own my life but hand it over
to anyone whom I need
the moment if you stay rooted in that
it’s a daily thing so I recommend that
you find the daily regimen that keeps
you steeped in gratitude a daily regimen
that has you own your greatness where
there’s the reminder of the things I’ve
just said right the mantras out post
them on your mirror and recite them each
day I live by mantras I live by
affirmations I designed and begin to own
who I was as a woman because I kept
reminding myself daily who I could
become and then one day I want to remind
myself and it’s stuck I didn’t need the
reminder and so I started reminding
myself of something else and I kept
doing that daily daily and then one day
I want to remind myself and it stuck and
so remind yourself of the woman the man
you’re becoming write it down write the
mantra down I’m a servant leader
grateful for service I own my brilliance
unapologetically I walk in a room and
light it up with the natural glow
I share my light with others with grace
and ease you can choose any of these
mantras you can have them all rule
number six recognize the cost of your
actions so many times people look at the
habits that they have such as
procrastination and asked why do I
procrastinate well I pose that question
back to you ask yourself what’s the
benefit because there’s a benefit that
you’re getting out of it so whether you
believe that last minute throws you
inside of an energy source because
that’s what I used to think I spent last
minute I’m more creative well the truth
is you’re not more creative last minute
the truth is that when you wait till the
last minute you’re increasing your
stress level you’re bringing down your
joy you’re eliminating peace of mind
when you understand the cost
procrastination is a word and the
challenge is that procrastination is so
universally accepted it’s like fear and
stress like I’m so stressed out and it’s
become such our norm that it’s okay well
ask yourself the question what’s the
price that I pay because I believe any
behavior that you don’t want any longer
the way that the catalysts of change is
recognized
the price because we’re high producers
we can still get it done inside of
procrastinating we can still get it done
but if you ever take a moment to stop
and ask yourself and answer what’s the
cost of me procrastinating and you can
do that for everything but we’re focused
on procrastination now what’s the cost
of me procrastinating let’s go down that
list when you procrastinate it costs you
clear organizational time because now
you’re rushing when you procrastinate it
cost you peace of mind when you
procrastinate you’re now throwing an
urgency urgency increases your stress
urgency is known to increase your stress
if you live in urgency you literally are
two three times more likely to have a
heart attack
I hear not confirm but that’s what I
heard so if you live in this pace of
urgency all the time because of a
behavior that you can modify think about
it how are we for moving a bully mobile
how are we brilliant and operating in
something we can control
there’s so many things that you can’t
control procrastination is something
that you can go draw well number seven
have patience patience is that thing
that you know all of us want but we
don’t know how to get the patience to
get it it’s that it’s that gift in that
character that’s only developed in the
discomfort of the act of patience itself
you know I’m going to share a couple of
stories with you because I have had more
bouts with being impatient than anything
to the point now that I think one of the
one of the characters that’s the most
developed in me is the character of
patience I recognize that if not now it
will happen but mine now does not mean
never minds when it’s supposed to happen
and my job is to stay in action you know
I was sitting in the van on my way to a
good friend’s house I was sitting in the
van with many other teachers from the
secret way back in 2008 and many many
things were happening and a lot of
success was
but I was still struggling so on the
outside I had notoriety I was in the
secret we have been on Oprah and so many
things were happening but on the inside
personally I was still trying to figure
out how to pay my car note I was still
trying to figure out how to you know
take care of my son while I’m on the
road I still had all these challenges
that really did not make me feel like I
was successful and I felt like I
couldn’t work another hour of the day I
couldn’t put forth any more energy I
couldn’t do anything else and I’ve been
doing it so long I’ve been grinding so
long you might know it what that looks
like I was sitting in the van on my way
to John Gray’s house a minute from Mars
Murph I mean it’s a good friend of mine
and it was so many of us in the van and
I remember looking over at my friend
John Assaraf and I asked I said John why
doesn’t have to be so hard why do I have
why is it taking so long I feel like
I’ve been at this forever and I don’t
see any result I’m tired I’m exhausted I
feel like I’m about to lose faith in
this dream and John turned to me and he
said something that just shifted
everything for me and I hope it does the
same for you he looked at Manny said
Lisa you cannot plant your seeds and
reap your harvest
in the same season rule number eight
enhance your enrichment I’m only gonna
go as far as you think you’re worthy mmm
I can push you can push you can have the
greatest product but if you don’t feel
worthy you will work hard to sabotage
that relationship you don’t know you
don’t know you’re doing you think these
are the things I need and you’re driving
that guy away you’re driving that woman
away because your self-worth says they
weren’t gonna stay forever anyway or I’m
self-worth around money you have a cat
that you feel like you’re worthy of a
million dollars you will always get to
999 thousand and you will stop because
your self-worth says it what’s a good
exercise or process that we can follow
on a daily basis maybe something simple
to enhance our enrichment absolutely
worthiness absolutely I did this for six
months every single day right after I
brush my teeth and it’s the ICU exercise
and you get in the mirror now it is not
necessarily simple because because you
deal with yourself of course and as
complicated as you are will be the
degree economics of the mechanics are
yes I appreciate that distinction um you
get in the mirror and you complete three
different sentences you want to write
this down
the first sentence you look at yourself
and you say your name so you would say
Louis and you complete this is I’m proud
that you and find seven different things
every day to celebrate yourself for
seven different each day you can do the
same thing you did the day before
but each day do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive
you for and cut the shackles to blame
shame guilt regret and anger in that
sentence you cut those five shackles not
the first day maybe not the third day
but by the 21st day by the thirteenth
day you’ll feel some relief so Louis I
forgive you for and go back five years
15 years 20 years do that forgive you
fit for that thing don’t nobody know
about but you go ahead and cut those
shackles because if you can still think
about it is still in your energy space
and then the third sentence is Louis I
commit to you that before you make a
commitment to anybody else throughout
your day you make seven commitments to
you so the first sentence I’m proud that
you you’re celebrating yourself first we
are under cell
Britta as a society we look for
acknowledgement they enter they
interviewed a hundred executives that
all made over a quarter of a million
dollars and said would you like a 5%
raise next year or would you rather be
told thank you more often 100 percent
100 percent said keep your money I’d
rather hear thank you so we’re under
celebrated but first celebrate you be
the example when I was on Oprah when she
said what do you do I said I recognize
that I’m the example of how the rest of
the world is supposed to treat me and
it’s my job to give the world the best
example of how I like to be treated
so celebrate yourself forgive yourself
cut the shackles and then commit to
yourself before you commit to anyone
else that right there powerful that
right there will begin to fill your cup
up mmm to get to your sausage I love
that rule number nine
exercise your know our desire to say yes
to everyone really is less about them
and more about our need to be approved
our need to be perceived loving kind and
generous now I know that might be hard
to hear but when you don’t have the
ability to say no it really isn’t about
the people that you’re saying no to it’s
about you not wanting to draw healthy
boundary not wanting to turn someone
away not wanting to risk the fact that
you might not make someone happy with
you in the moment go underneath that and
say why am I having that challenge the
answer to that is the core of why you
don’t want to say no because I want to
be liked and loved all the time because
I don’t want to experience rejection
because I want people to see me as a
giving loving person because because
because because now none of those are
wrong but can you already know that
about yourself and if you know you’re
loving if you know you’re kind if you
know you’re giving if you know that
you’re generous then you can say healthy
yeses when you need to say yes and you
can say I healthy know when you need to
say no my grandmother says if you want
your yes to have the most value possible
then sweetie you need to learn how to
exercise your
because if you keep telling everyone yes
you actually diminish the value of your
yes because I’m not grateful that you
said yes as a matter of fact I expected
you to say yes
why because you always say yes and rule
number 10 my personal favorite and also
the last one before a very special bonus
clip is fund your dream in that year
when I was really broke and I was really
broken I was working at LA Unified
School District I was miserable I was
miserable because I wasn’t living in my
dream I was just doing a J OB and then
one day I said well what what do I need
to do I I need to I need to buy my
freedom
that’s not either don’t hate to buy her
freedom well I don’t know about behind
my freedom I don’t know about buying I
don’t know about having money saved up
my family didn’t have money saved up my
mother used to tell me oh this money is
burning in my pocket so I know two
things about money is hot and we can’t
keep it long we’d always have one week
where we had all the food in the
refrigerator and then one week where we
were the refrigerator was empty right
come on come on some of you guys know
about that to this day I spent so much
money on girls you guys oh my god it’s
like I’m feeding like a family of ten
because I’m so afraid of anybody ever
being in my house and being hungry and
Jelani was three a hundred and ten
I took it to the bank Wells Fargo I
started a new account the next check I
wrote one hundred and twenty five
dollars and just like the first check I
put in the memo line funding my dream
I wasn’t even clear what the dream was
but I knew there was something my belly
hole in this room no you got something
in your belly it’s something I’m not
even clear about it I don’t know how
clear you are but I wasn’t clear about
it but I knew there was the calling on
my life greater than working for LA
Unified School District and no
disrespect to LA Unified School get just
wasn’t my destiny I wrote another check
in two weeks a hundred and forty six
dollars funding my dream now I started
mailing the checks in because I didn’t
want to see my balance cuz I don’t want
to go shopping cuz I you gonna repeat
what you learned right until you decide
to not repeat what you learned
so I mailed to check-in and I wrote
another check and I wrote another check
in every check I wrote I made sure it
was 5% more than the first check the net
the previous check
I sold my Altima I had a car note so
multiple bought a clunker cuz it hidden
have a car note now I can write a bigger
check son in my dream I moved out of my
three-bedroom three bed three bath house
and moved in became a roommate with my
friend who smoked
I put towels at the base of the door so
the smoke wouldn’t come to the door I
was willing to be inconvenienced are you
I’m just saying I’m just I’m just
showing you the story I just took charge
I just gave you I stopped getting my
hair done that was when I started going
naturally I stopped going out I stopped
going out dancing I stopped going out to
dinners my family didn’t know what was
going on they thought oh my god you know
is LA she’s on drugs but she’s not
losing weight so maybe not I don’t know
what’s going on I kept writing bigger
checks to myself $900 $900 unmelted to
$1,100 melded to Wells Fargo funding my
dream I still wasn’t clear what the
dream was I just knew I had one and it
was being born through me and I needed
to give it a chance that’s all I knew
you don’t have to see 2,000 feet in
front of you just see 200 and run to the
200 don’t have to see at all three and a
half years later I’ve written a check to
myself every two weeks for three and a
half years I didn’t go out for three and
a half years I didn’t go dance and I get
it didn’t get my hair done I did get my
nails done for three and a half years
are you willing to be inconvenience for
your conviction I walk in to Wells Fargo
three and a half years later and I said
hi god bless you hi my name is Lisa
nickel she was oh my god
you’re the fund in my dream lady I was
like yeah I guess I am and all of a
sudden all the tellers came running
around the manager came they’re like oh
my god okay oh my god we have been
wondering we all got the same question
y’all know the questions right what’s
your dream I was like I’m not sure but I
know that it includes inspiring people
having people believe in themselves
again teaching them how to get back up
when they’ve been knocked down yeah
having to be willing to give them self a
thousand second chances and every time
they get to 999 press reset I’m not sure
what it’s gonna look like but it’s just
gonna help people I thought I came to
check my balance I’ve been writing a few
checks to you guys and say yes you’ve
been writing a lot I said I just want to
check my balances you don’t know your
balances to know I got this really big
stack of summary bank statements at home
cuz my momma said money burns her
pockets not
to burn my pocket I wanted to pay for my
freedom I said I just came to see what
my balance was if I had enough to fund
my dream as it gets clearer she wrote it
down everyone’s excited she wrote it
down turned it around to me I looked at
it I said oh no my name is Lisa Shante
Nichols and my so security note I said
that is not my money and I am NOT taking
that money because you’re probably gonna
want it back
so just fix that error right now and
they looked at me I said you really
don’t think that’s yours I said no my
family’s never had $5,000 in the bank or
$10,000 in the bank that’s sixty two
thousand five hundred dollars in the
bank
they sent Miss Nichols and everyone
teared up the manager teared up the
tellers teared up I said Miss Nichols
whatever your dream is I think you can
fund it now I looked at my son Jelani
who now was five or six I said Jelani
our lifes are gonna be a little
different now baby
Jelani says yeah mommy can’t we can’t we
now go to McDonald’s three for three
years I’ve been telling you Lani I’ll
make you a Big Mac mama makes Big Macs
better than McDonald’s and so began with
a hundred and ten dollar check so I
don’t know what yours is I don’t know
what your radical looks like for some of
you your radical was coming here right
yes yes and this is the beginning this
is the beginning of your radical this is
the this is the bet the next best step
this is the first step and so I just
stopped by to let you know you’re on the
right path and and as you ramped up as
you ramped up you’re going to have
questions you’re gonna be afraid I do
more things afraid now than I do
fearless cuz the bigger you play the
bigger your breakdown
every single one of my errors in the
last five years have cost me six figures
like every single one every single one
of my errors has required me to call an
attorney like they’re just big what cuz
I’m playing big I’m playing big so be
willing to go to the edge and this is
where you are here be willing to go to
the edge and not just lean over and feel
the breeze and watch the people jump and
watch them soar and look through the
windows at all the people were living
great lies don’t just go to the edge and
feel it be willing to lean fill your
heartbeat fill it that lets you know
you’re alive they’ll let you know you’re
okay fear fuels you fear lets you know
go get more information fear let you
know step a little later and study fear
let you know get up a little earlier
fear let you know ask for help fear is
informing you it’s not stopping you it’s
just another emotion like love and
compassion and gratitude we just made it
paralyze us see fear doesn’t stop me
fear informs me and when you get
intimately connected with the fear I
feel it and I’m moving forward anyway I
feel it and I’m gonna love anyway I feel
it and I’m gonna invest in me anyway I
feel it and I’m gonna show up and play
anyway when you get connected with fear
it becomes your best friend and when you
stand on the edge you feel the breeze
I’ve got a really special bonus clip
from Lisa on how to live your quest and
I think you’re really gonna enjoy but
before that I have three questions for
you I want to make sure that you are
moving from consuming a video to
actually taking action somewhere in your
life your business so answer these three
questions whether you write them down in
the journal at home discussing with a
frame or leave the answers in the
comments below here we go question
number one what do you need to say no to
that you still have a hard time with
question number two how will you
practice daily to accept yourself and
question number three how was your
relationship with fear preventing you
from having success thank you guys so
much for watching I believe in you
I hope we continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love I’ll see you soon and enjoy
when we talk about living our quest um I
think that living my quest really if I
look at on a daily basis it’s finding my
own voice it’s finding your voice it’s
finding the song that only you can sing
off-key or not it’s finding your rhythm
it’s discovering what it feels like to
walk in your shoes today it won’t look
like it looked 10 years ago living your
quest is what can I do with my life so
that my life becomes infectious to
someone else living my quests looks like
how do I make my fingerprint matter so
big that it lives beyond my transition
day living your quest is how can I
forgive the perceiving Li unforgivable
so I can love the absolute loveable
living your quest is how do I give
myself a thousand second chances and
every time I get to 999 press reset yeah
yeah living my quest is is not some
ambiguous untouchable experience living
my quest means going back and healing
the little girl in me so that the woman
can be free it’s going back at embracing
the little boy in you so that the man
can show up and give himself permission
to cry when necessary living your quest
is not something that you can’t touch
it’s not something that requires a stage
or lights or cameras living your quest
is being completing content with who you
are in the dark of the night so who you
are in the middle of the day is all
right living your quest is as simple as
it is complex living your quest is about
giving yourself permission say
permission on a daily basis to become
the next best version of yourself living
your quest is not holding yourself
hostage to old decisions
not holding yourself hostage to shame
blame guilt regret and anger living your
quest is about recognizing that everyday
I can be reborn to my possibility living
your quest is as internal and personal
as it is public living your quest is
about recognizing that you have
brilliance in you and not being willing
to dim your light one more day living
your quest means not being afraid of the
genius in you even though you have doubt
living your quest is recognizing that
you get to sing your song off tune that
you can get to live in perfection while
you master in perfection altruistic
world domination
honey Empire right I’m grateful I
understand why I’m here I think because
I am so open I wanted to think I’m
saying it’s a bloody brief life all of
you have the potential for enormous
success if you want to know what Gary
Vee DJ Khalid Oprah and others know
about empire building that most people
miss check out the link in the description for a free bonus video
your teeth are chattering just a little
at least then you’re not playing big
enough I believe any behavior that you
don’t want any longer the way that the
catalyst to change is recognizing the
price I do more things afraid now than I
do
fearless cuz the bigger you play the
bigger your breakdown new motivation the
what’s that belief nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe you have Michael Jordan level
talat add something and I want you to
find it embrace it and use it to make a
difference so let’s get your motivation
to attend and get you believing in you
grab a snack and chew in today’s lessons
from a woman who went from struggling as
a single mom and being on public
assistance to becoming a
multi-millionaire
entrepreneur an author of seven books
she’s Lisa Nichols and here’s my take on
her top ten rules a success vol 4 also
if you want to hear what Lisa Nichols
and other entrepreneurs have to say
about building confidence check out my
250 for confidence series where every
day for the next 254 days I will send
you a 30 second to five minute video
helping you build unstoppable confidence
for free the link is in the description
below so many times we we we validate
who we are by what we’re doing for other
people you know we who we are is what we
do what we give how we love and what I’m
very clear on is that you are giving the
world an example of how they get to love
you and treat you based on the way you
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one take baby steps
you’re gonna play big say big you’re
gonna play huge say huge you’re gonna
play ginormous say ginormous
but first take baby steps you’re gonna
eat the elephant but take one small bite
first chew it good right we want so much
so fast my grandmother says baby she
starts every sentence with baby I’m sure
it’s because she cannot remember all of
our names she said baby the best things
you’ll ever have from Grandma will never
come from the microwave they always come
from the oven and I was like I think
some somehow she’s trying to give me a
lesson here and I realized that the best
things that you’re gonna create are
gonna take time build it on cement not
sinking saying you’re gonna get tons and
tons and tons of tools here and you’re
gonna want to fast forward when you fast
forward you’re building on Plexiglas
you’ve been on styrofoam you’ve been on
wood you want to build it on semen your
dream is important enough to outlive you
yes yes and so I realized that that you
can’t Google down lower resiliency you
can’t Google download tenacity
you can’t Google download forgiveness
there’s some of the best qualities and
characteristics that’s gonna take you a
long way that you need to invest time in
and energy in and intention in you don’t
just get patience I want patience I’m
waiting for pick somebody’s gonna piss
you off tomorrow and now you get to test
of your patience I realized I realized
that as I wanted to develop me I have to
be willing to climb and I wanted to get
to the top and there’s no elevator to
the top I got to do my squats I got to
work on my quads and my hamstrings and
my calves cuz I gotta climb to the top
we got a Klein rule number two change
your relationship with fear so many
people look at fear or even doubt but
they look at fear as if it’s the
emotional enemy you
it’s the enemy emotion like oh I can
deal with compassion I can do it love I
can do it understanding but when fear
comes oh my god bad thing no first of
all change your relationship to fear
I’ve said this before fear is not the
enemy the feeling of fear is just like
any other emotion fear is actually
informing you fear is telling you that
you need to do something either do more
research get some support get some
insight study a little more slow down
fear is actually feeding you so then ask
yourself the question what do I need to
do think or go get to dissipate this
fear because remember fear is fear
becomes present when you’ve made up
something that could happen in the
future and it makes you afraid right now
like oh my god I’m afraid I can get hurt
in this relationship
oh my god I’m afraid I’m losing my money
well you’re just projecting a story that
you made up then back into that fear ago
okay wait then what do I need to do to
minimize the fear that I might get hurt
what do I need to do to minimize the
fear that I might lose my money what do
I need to do of course you can’t a 100%
eliminate the possibility but you can
greatly reduce the chances by asking
what am I afraid of what am i afraid
that’s gonna happen and then secondly
recognize that fear doesn’t mean stop
people think oh I’m afraid let me stop
okay that’s a choice to stop fear
doesn’t necessarily mean stop fear might
mean proceed with caution or proceed
with more strategy fear does it whenever
I’m feeling fear it doesn’t tell me this
I don’t you think now to stop with a
fear I do think to slow down go get some
help go get some inside voice my fear so
that it’s not just all in my head
recognize that fear is going to come in
when you’re playing bigger than you’ve
ever played before I say if your knees
aren’t knocking and your teeth are
chattering just a little atleast then
you’re not playing big enough
bigger you play the more you’re gonna
feel your knees knock and you don’t hear
your teeth shatter and I’m always
playing big I’m always filling my knees
knock and I’m always hearing my teeth
chatter but I’ve created a relationship
with that fear to go hold on let’s say
fears right here fear
what are you telling me because fear
really is it’s it’s a story it’s it’s
something you think could happen and
could it happen yeah but could it not
happen yeah so don’t try to outrun fear
don’t try to outrun doubt and definitely
don’t wait until and fear are gone
before you move
find out what doubt and fear needs to
dissipate into the nothingness that it
always was what does it need and then
understand that action brings clarity so
the more you move forward the more
action you’re in the more clarity you
get because action breeds clarity and
clarity comes with action so many times
just sitting on the sidelines waiting
waiting to get completely clear before
you take any action and clarity is
waiting for you to get in action to
create clarity so be willing be willing
to play full out a little nervous rule
number three accept yourself I remember
there was a time in my life when all I
wanted was for people to accept me but I
realized that I needed them to accept me
and love me because I wasn’t really
accepting Lisa I wasn’t really loving
Lisa to my fullest so Wow today I don’t
invite you to not care if people reject
you I am inviting you to if you fully
love and show up for you first they
less impacted your less disrupted when
someone doesn’t embrace you the way you
believe you should be embraced see I
realize that we’re we’re ironed for
others iron sharpens iron
we’re also triggers for others there’s a
thousand reasons why someone might
reject you my grandmother says man’s
rejection is God’s protection so not
everyone that’s in your space should be
in your space and sometimes people have
to opt out on your behalf to help you
out how many times have you been in a
friendship or relationship and it ended
and maybe not immediately after it ended
but somewhere in the next 30 60 90 days
a year maybe two years you took a deep
breath huh
I actually feel more relief that that
relationship is transition where there’s
a relationship with a job a friend an ex
whatever so while we don’t want to have
rejection or life I say all rejection
isn’t bad
and sometimes it’s not rejection is
simply transition it’s simply completion
you know I realize that I wanted
everyone to love me but when I began to
love Lisa I stopped having to manage our
having the desire to manage how other
people like me your job is to wake up
each day and like you rule number four
be in a state of cognitive dissonance
abundant thinkers keep themselves in a
constant state of cognitive dissonance
write that down abundant thinkers keep
themselves in a constant state a
constant state of cognitive dissonance
your creative spell it any way you want
now what is cognitive dissonance
cognitive dissonance is when you have
literally thought about a version of
yourself that you’re not currently
living right now meaning the thought
that you have of yourself your behaviors
are not congruent with so your mind
becomes disrupted your mind says wait a
minute you’re seeing me here but my
behaviors aren’t here
and when you keep yourself in a constant
state your mind begins to influence your
behaviors to be congruent with your
thoughts ooh
next level cognitive dissonance abundant
thinkers that’s why he went out to the
ocean that’s why he’s up on stage
because constantly seeing himself
further than what his behaviors want to
really do and then when he doesn’t now I
got that down constantly now it’s being
grateful for your now yes yes being
grateful for your now but clearly seeing
where you’re going and not resting until
you get there rule number five practice
gratitude I start every day with twenty
five things that I’m grateful for and
all 25 things have to cost twenty-five
dollars or less so I can’t be grateful
for my car grateful for my home while I
can be grateful during this exercise I’m
grateful for the time that I spent
cooking him in the kitchen with my son
this weekend I’m grateful for the walks
that my grandmother takes me on I used
to say I take her on walks then I
realized she was educating me that she
takes me on walks I’m grateful for the
fact that I still dance with my daddy
I’m grateful for the moments my nephew
climbs in my bed so we can watch our
latest greatest movie together I’m
grateful for mustard man and garlic girl
in the kitchen cooking that’s my son and
I every single thing that I find
gratitude for is something that helps to
make me who I am and I got to tell you
something happens when you live Park and
stay cemented in gratitude I call that
if your dream is the seed then gratitude
is the fertilizer and so gratitude
constant gratitude recognizing that you
are a servant leader with a servant’s
heart and when you say the word servant
servant and ego just don’t go together
servant is to serve but not a servant
from a peasant mindset but a servant
from the place where you say I choose to
leave from behind I choose to use my
greatness and my life to elevate you I
choose to own my life but hand it over
to anyone whom I need
the moment if you stay rooted in that
it’s a daily thing so I recommend that
you find the daily regimen that keeps
you steeped in gratitude a daily regimen
that has you own your greatness where
there’s the reminder of the things I’ve
just said right the mantras out post
them on your mirror and recite them each
day I live by mantras I live by
affirmations I designed and begin to own
who I was as a woman because I kept
reminding myself daily who I could
become and then one day I want to remind
myself and it’s stuck I didn’t need the
reminder and so I started reminding
myself of something else and I kept
doing that daily daily and then one day
I want to remind myself and it stuck and
so remind yourself of the woman the man
you’re becoming write it down write the
mantra down I’m a servant leader
grateful for service I own my brilliance
unapologetically I walk in a room and
light it up with the natural glow
I share my light with others with grace
and ease you can choose any of these
mantras you can have them all rule
number six recognize the cost of your
actions so many times people look at the
habits that they have such as
procrastination and asked why do I
procrastinate well I pose that question
back to you ask yourself what’s the
benefit because there’s a benefit that
you’re getting out of it so whether you
believe that last minute throws you
inside of an energy source because
that’s what I used to think I spent last
minute I’m more creative well the truth
is you’re not more creative last minute
the truth is that when you wait till the
last minute you’re increasing your
stress level you’re bringing down your
joy you’re eliminating peace of mind
when you understand the cost
procrastination is a word and the
challenge is that procrastination is so
universally accepted it’s like fear and
stress like I’m so stressed out and it’s
become such our norm that it’s okay well
ask yourself the question what’s the
price that I pay because I believe any
behavior that you don’t want any longer
the way that the catalysts of change is
recognized
the price because we’re high producers
we can still get it done inside of
procrastinating we can still get it done
but if you ever take a moment to stop
and ask yourself and answer what’s the
cost of me procrastinating and you can
do that for everything but we’re focused
on procrastination now what’s the cost
of me procrastinating let’s go down that
list when you procrastinate it costs you
clear organizational time because now
you’re rushing when you procrastinate it
cost you peace of mind when you
procrastinate you’re now throwing an
urgency urgency increases your stress
urgency is known to increase your stress
if you live in urgency you literally are
two three times more likely to have a
heart attack
I hear not confirm but that’s what I
heard so if you live in this pace of
urgency all the time because of a
behavior that you can modify think about
it how are we for moving a bully mobile
how are we brilliant and operating in
something we can control
there’s so many things that you can’t
control procrastination is something
that you can go draw well number seven
have patience patience is that thing
that you know all of us want but we
don’t know how to get the patience to
get it it’s that it’s that gift in that
character that’s only developed in the
discomfort of the act of patience itself
you know I’m going to share a couple of
stories with you because I have had more
bouts with being impatient than anything
to the point now that I think one of the
one of the characters that’s the most
developed in me is the character of
patience I recognize that if not now it
will happen but mine now does not mean
never minds when it’s supposed to happen
and my job is to stay in action you know
I was sitting in the van on my way to a
good friend’s house I was sitting in the
van with many other teachers from the
secret way back in 2008 and many many
things were happening and a lot of
success was
but I was still struggling so on the
outside I had notoriety I was in the
secret we have been on Oprah and so many
things were happening but on the inside
personally I was still trying to figure
out how to pay my car note I was still
trying to figure out how to you know
take care of my son while I’m on the
road I still had all these challenges
that really did not make me feel like I
was successful and I felt like I
couldn’t work another hour of the day I
couldn’t put forth any more energy I
couldn’t do anything else and I’ve been
doing it so long I’ve been grinding so
long you might know it what that looks
like I was sitting in the van on my way
to John Gray’s house a minute from Mars
Murph I mean it’s a good friend of mine
and it was so many of us in the van and
I remember looking over at my friend
John Assaraf and I asked I said John why
doesn’t have to be so hard why do I have
why is it taking so long I feel like
I’ve been at this forever and I don’t
see any result I’m tired I’m exhausted I
feel like I’m about to lose faith in
this dream and John turned to me and he
said something that just shifted
everything for me and I hope it does the
same for you he looked at Manny said
Lisa you cannot plant your seeds and
reap your harvest
in the same season rule number eight
enhance your enrichment I’m only gonna
go as far as you think you’re worthy mmm
I can push you can push you can have the
greatest product but if you don’t feel
worthy you will work hard to sabotage
that relationship you don’t know you
don’t know you’re doing you think these
are the things I need and you’re driving
that guy away you’re driving that woman
away because your self-worth says they
weren’t gonna stay forever anyway or I’m
self-worth around money you have a cat
that you feel like you’re worthy of a
million dollars you will always get to
999 thousand and you will stop because
your self-worth says it what’s a good
exercise or process that we can follow
on a daily basis maybe something simple
to enhance our enrichment absolutely
worthiness absolutely I did this for six
months every single day right after I
brush my teeth and it’s the ICU exercise
and you get in the mirror now it is not
necessarily simple because because you
deal with yourself of course and as
complicated as you are will be the
degree economics of the mechanics are
yes I appreciate that distinction um you
get in the mirror and you complete three
different sentences you want to write
this down
the first sentence you look at yourself
and you say your name so you would say
Louis and you complete this is I’m proud
that you and find seven different things
every day to celebrate yourself for
seven different each day you can do the
same thing you did the day before
but each day do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive
you for and cut the shackles to blame
shame guilt regret and anger in that
sentence you cut those five shackles not
the first day maybe not the third day
but by the 21st day by the thirteenth
day you’ll feel some relief so Louis I
forgive you for and go back five years
15 years 20 years do that forgive you
fit for that thing don’t nobody know
about but you go ahead and cut those
shackles because if you can still think
about it is still in your energy space
and then the third sentence is Louis I
commit to you that before you make a
commitment to anybody else throughout
your day you make seven commitments to
you so the first sentence I’m proud that
you you’re celebrating yourself first we
are under cell
Britta as a society we look for
acknowledgement they enter they
interviewed a hundred executives that
all made over a quarter of a million
dollars and said would you like a 5%
raise next year or would you rather be
told thank you more often 100 percent
100 percent said keep your money I’d
rather hear thank you so we’re under
celebrated but first celebrate you be
the example when I was on Oprah when she
said what do you do I said I recognize
that I’m the example of how the rest of
the world is supposed to treat me and
it’s my job to give the world the best
example of how I like to be treated
so celebrate yourself forgive yourself
cut the shackles and then commit to
yourself before you commit to anyone
else that right there powerful that
right there will begin to fill your cup
up mmm to get to your sausage I love
that rule number nine
exercise your know our desire to say yes
to everyone really is less about them
and more about our need to be approved
our need to be perceived loving kind and
generous now I know that might be hard
to hear but when you don’t have the
ability to say no it really isn’t about
the people that you’re saying no to it’s
about you not wanting to draw healthy
boundary not wanting to turn someone
away not wanting to risk the fact that
you might not make someone happy with
you in the moment go underneath that and
say why am I having that challenge the
answer to that is the core of why you
don’t want to say no because I want to
be liked and loved all the time because
I don’t want to experience rejection
because I want people to see me as a
giving loving person because because
because because now none of those are
wrong but can you already know that
about yourself and if you know you’re
loving if you know you’re kind if you
know you’re giving if you know that
you’re generous then you can say healthy
yeses when you need to say yes and you
can say I healthy know when you need to
say no my grandmother says if you want
your yes to have the most value possible
then sweetie you need to learn how to
exercise your
because if you keep telling everyone yes
you actually diminish the value of your
yes because I’m not grateful that you
said yes as a matter of fact I expected
you to say yes
why because you always say yes and rule
number 10 my personal favorite and also
the last one before a very special bonus
clip is fund your dream in that year
when I was really broke and I was really
broken I was working at LA Unified
School District I was miserable I was
miserable because I wasn’t living in my
dream I was just doing a J OB and then
one day I said well what what do I need
to do I I need to I need to buy my
freedom
that’s not either don’t hate to buy her
freedom well I don’t know about behind
my freedom I don’t know about buying I
don’t know about having money saved up
my family didn’t have money saved up my
mother used to tell me oh this money is
burning in my pocket so I know two
things about money is hot and we can’t
keep it long we’d always have one week
where we had all the food in the
refrigerator and then one week where we
were the refrigerator was empty right
come on come on some of you guys know
about that to this day I spent so much
money on girls you guys oh my god it’s
like I’m feeding like a family of ten
because I’m so afraid of anybody ever
being in my house and being hungry and
Jelani was three a hundred and ten
I took it to the bank Wells Fargo I
started a new account the next check I
wrote one hundred and twenty five
dollars and just like the first check I
put in the memo line funding my dream
I wasn’t even clear what the dream was
but I knew there was something my belly
hole in this room no you got something
in your belly it’s something I’m not
even clear about it I don’t know how
clear you are but I wasn’t clear about
it but I knew there was the calling on
my life greater than working for LA
Unified School District and no
disrespect to LA Unified School get just
wasn’t my destiny I wrote another check
in two weeks a hundred and forty six
dollars funding my dream now I started
mailing the checks in because I didn’t
want to see my balance cuz I don’t want
to go shopping cuz I you gonna repeat
what you learned right until you decide
to not repeat what you learned
so I mailed to check-in and I wrote
another check and I wrote another check
in every check I wrote I made sure it
was 5% more than the first check the net
the previous check
I sold my Altima I had a car note so
multiple bought a clunker cuz it hidden
have a car note now I can write a bigger
check son in my dream I moved out of my
three-bedroom three bed three bath house
and moved in became a roommate with my
friend who smoked
I put towels at the base of the door so
the smoke wouldn’t come to the door I
was willing to be inconvenienced are you
I’m just saying I’m just I’m just
showing you the story I just took charge
I just gave you I stopped getting my
hair done that was when I started going
naturally I stopped going out I stopped
going out dancing I stopped going out to
dinners my family didn’t know what was
going on they thought oh my god you know
is LA she’s on drugs but she’s not
losing weight so maybe not I don’t know
what’s going on I kept writing bigger
checks to myself $900 $900 unmelted to
$1,100 melded to Wells Fargo funding my
dream I still wasn’t clear what the
dream was I just knew I had one and it
was being born through me and I needed
to give it a chance that’s all I knew
you don’t have to see 2,000 feet in
front of you just see 200 and run to the
200 don’t have to see at all three and a
half years later I’ve written a check to
myself every two weeks for three and a
half years I didn’t go out for three and
a half years I didn’t go dance and I get
it didn’t get my hair done I did get my
nails done for three and a half years
are you willing to be inconvenience for
your conviction I walk in to Wells Fargo
three and a half years later and I said
hi god bless you hi my name is Lisa
nickel she was oh my god
you’re the fund in my dream lady I was
like yeah I guess I am and all of a
sudden all the tellers came running
around the manager came they’re like oh
my god okay oh my god we have been
wondering we all got the same question
y’all know the questions right what’s
your dream I was like I’m not sure but I
know that it includes inspiring people
having people believe in themselves
again teaching them how to get back up
when they’ve been knocked down yeah
having to be willing to give them self a
thousand second chances and every time
they get to 999 press reset I’m not sure
what it’s gonna look like but it’s just
gonna help people I thought I came to
check my balance I’ve been writing a few
checks to you guys and say yes you’ve
been writing a lot I said I just want to
check my balances you don’t know your
balances to know I got this really big
stack of summary bank statements at home
cuz my momma said money burns her
pockets not
to burn my pocket I wanted to pay for my
freedom I said I just came to see what
my balance was if I had enough to fund
my dream as it gets clearer she wrote it
down everyone’s excited she wrote it
down turned it around to me I looked at
it I said oh no my name is Lisa Shante
Nichols and my so security note I said
that is not my money and I am NOT taking
that money because you’re probably gonna
want it back
so just fix that error right now and
they looked at me I said you really
don’t think that’s yours I said no my
family’s never had $5,000 in the bank or
$10,000 in the bank that’s sixty two
thousand five hundred dollars in the
bank
they sent Miss Nichols and everyone
teared up the manager teared up the
tellers teared up I said Miss Nichols
whatever your dream is I think you can
fund it now I looked at my son Jelani
who now was five or six I said Jelani
our lifes are gonna be a little
different now baby
Jelani says yeah mommy can’t we can’t we
now go to McDonald’s three for three
years I’ve been telling you Lani I’ll
make you a Big Mac mama makes Big Macs
better than McDonald’s and so began with
a hundred and ten dollar check so I
don’t know what yours is I don’t know
what your radical looks like for some of
you your radical was coming here right
yes yes and this is the beginning this
is the beginning of your radical this is
the this is the bet the next best step
this is the first step and so I just
stopped by to let you know you’re on the
right path and and as you ramped up as
you ramped up you’re going to have
questions you’re gonna be afraid I do
more things afraid now than I do
fearless cuz the bigger you play the
bigger your breakdown
every single one of my errors in the
last five years have cost me six figures
like every single one every single one
of my errors has required me to call an
attorney like they’re just big what cuz
I’m playing big I’m playing big so be
willing to go to the edge and this is
where you are here be willing to go to
the edge and not just lean over and feel
the breeze and watch the people jump and
watch them soar and look through the
windows at all the people were living
great lies don’t just go to the edge and
feel it be willing to lean fill your
heartbeat fill it that lets you know
you’re alive they’ll let you know you’re
okay fear fuels you fear lets you know
go get more information fear let you
know step a little later and study fear
let you know get up a little earlier
fear let you know ask for help fear is
informing you it’s not stopping you it’s
just another emotion like love and
compassion and gratitude we just made it
paralyze us see fear doesn’t stop me
fear informs me and when you get
intimately connected with the fear I
feel it and I’m moving forward anyway I
feel it and I’m gonna love anyway I feel
it and I’m gonna invest in me anyway I
feel it and I’m gonna show up and play
anyway when you get connected with fear
it becomes your best friend and when you
stand on the edge you feel the breeze
I’ve got a really special bonus clip
from Lisa on how to live your quest and
I think you’re really gonna enjoy but
before that I have three questions for
you I want to make sure that you are
moving from consuming a video to
actually taking action somewhere in your
life your business so answer these three
questions whether you write them down in
the journal at home discussing with a
frame or leave the answers in the
comments below here we go question
number one what do you need to say no to
that you still have a hard time with
question number two how will you
practice daily to accept yourself and
question number three how was your
relationship with fear preventing you
from having success thank you guys so
much for watching I believe in you
I hope we continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your one word is
much love I’ll see you soon and enjoy
when we talk about living our quest um I
think that living my quest really if I
look at on a daily basis it’s finding my
own voice it’s finding your voice it’s
finding the song that only you can sing
off-key or not it’s finding your rhythm
it’s discovering what it feels like to
walk in your shoes today it won’t look
like it looked 10 years ago living your
quest is what can I do with my life so
that my life becomes infectious to
someone else living my quests looks like
how do I make my fingerprint matter so
big that it lives beyond my transition
day living your quest is how can I
forgive the perceiving Li unforgivable
so I can love the absolute loveable
living your quest is how do I give
myself a thousand second chances and
every time I get to 999 press reset yeah
yeah living my quest is is not some
ambiguous untouchable experience living
my quest means going back and healing
the little girl in me so that the woman
can be free it’s going back at embracing
the little boy in you so that the man
can show up and give himself permission
to cry when necessary living your quest
is not something that you can’t touch
it’s not something that requires a stage
or lights or cameras living your quest
is being completing content with who you
are in the dark of the night so who you
are in the middle of the day is all
right living your quest is as simple as
it is complex living your quest is about
giving yourself permission say
permission on a daily basis to become
the next best version of yourself living
your quest is not holding yourself
hostage to old decisions
not holding yourself hostage to shame
blame guilt regret and anger living your
quest is about recognizing that everyday
I can be reborn to my possibility living
your quest is as internal and personal
as it is public living your quest is
about recognizing that you have
brilliance in you and not being willing
to dim your light one more day living
your quest means not being afraid of the
genius in you even though you have doubt
living your quest is recognizing that
you get to sing your song off tune that
you can get to live in perfection while
you master in perfection altruistic
world domination
honey Empire right I’m grateful I
understand why I’m here I think because
I am so open I wanted to think I’m
saying it’s a bloody brief life all of
you have the potential for enormous
success if you want to know what Gary
Vee DJ Khalid Oprah and others know
about empire building that most people
miss check out the link in the description for a free bonus video
Please follow and like us: