choosing your own greatness or being a
No Limit person taking charge of your
own life something I really believe that
you are to sum total of all of the
choices that you’ve made up until now
and anything about yourself or your life
that you don’t like or isn’t working or
is mobilizing you is to be looked at in
terms of can I grow rather than why did
I do it or isn’t this wrong see the two
ways to motivate yourself our deficiency
motivation which says where I am I don’t
like I don’t like what I’ve done I don’t
like the fact that I can’t do this well
or I can’t do that well so I will list
these things in my own repertoire and
then I will be constantly trying to
repair those deficiencies always
assuming that I’m deficient that there’s
something wrong with me and I’m trying
to fix it and when you do that you spend
your whole life doing that and you never
arrive because your life becomes a
series of trying to get someplace else
and it is if you follow that if you live
that if you behave that then what what
happens to you is you become a person
who will always suffer from this disease
called more
you always have to have more because
whenever you are getting where you want
to go let’s say you want $100,000 in the
bank and your work and you struggle and
you deny yourself and you do all of
those things and you finally finally you
get there and here you are you got
$100,000 in the bank all of this stuff
over here of course your life and that
is all you know that’s what you know how
to that’s how you are that is your being
that is your way of being so that when
you do get here what you will do is say
this is not enough you must a No Limit
person is never operating from
deficiency or from lack in their life
you see you’re never going to get enough
you already are
everything you’re everything that you
need think of it for just a moment
everything that you need to have total
bliss perfection of your life you
already are
you already have it you came into this
world with nothing that’s how you’re
going out and the time that you have
here what you have is your uniqueness
your specialness and you don’t need
anything else
now think on this if you don’t know how
to appreciate what you have and where
you are in your life you don’t need
anything else because if you do get
something else you won’t know how to
appreciate that either you’ll just want
more or you’ll want it to be different
or you want it to be the way it used to
be or you’ll want someone else to be the
way you think they should be successful
people are no limit people are self
actualizing people inner directed people
however you whatever labels that have
been put on them by great thinkers
philosophers
therapists and people that have looked
at human beings these kinds of people
are people who always have enough there
are some people if you invite them over
and you say you know I’d like you to I
like you to come over tonight and I’d
like you to stay over if you can instead
of having to drive back and not say why
can you say can you stay and I say well
I don’t know if I can stay or not
well you could sleep on the cot oh no no
I could never sleep on the cot I I can’t
sleep on cots
I got a sciatica I don’t see nothing
ever I have back pain and I don’t on
cots no that’s out of the question I
couldn’t sleep on a cot and what about
breakfast well we don’t have any food
but we have some old grape fruit that
are in the in the refrigerator they have
a few spots on them off no I could never
eat grapefruit spots no thanks I can’t
eat grapefruit spots I just couldn’t do
that you know and these are people who
never have enough they are not able to
be flexible and to change and there are
other people if you say would you like
to sleep over we got a place in the
sewer hey that’d be great I can handle
that
no problem I slept there before it’s all
right
all we have is great for oh I love
grapefruit well we got biscuits bottom
oh I really like grapefruit spots those
are terrific huh I’ll go for those there
are some people who can handle anything
not because their circumstances are
different you see your circumstances
have very little to do with your
fulfillment in life very little it’s
it’s how you’re approaching your
circumstances it’s your attitude towards
your circumstances that make all the
difference in the world
and taking what you are and accepting it
I got to show you this I don’t know if
the camera can get this this is a little
advertisement that was in the Detroit
Free Press for last September I was
giving a speech at the Unity Church of
today in Detroit and it says dr. Wayne
Dyer will talk about your inner child
and how to deal effectively with
problems in all relationships it wasn’t
a real nice ad you can see that then on
top of the ad in the same paper there’s
right on top of my head there’s no
hiding from hair loss they got a picture
of a guy well the box over his head and
they have a before and after guy there
and the after guy looks like he’s just
found fulfillment and it says you can’t
run and you can’t hide hair loss is a
problem and unless you take action it
will continue now we’ve got to look at
this in terms of what I can do with this
and how I can handle this see my
daughter helped me with being bald a
long time ago she said dad you’re not
really Paul don’t think of yourself
anyway she said you’re just about this
much taller than your hair that’s all
just sort of a nice way to look at it so
I just sort of outgrew my hair sort of
transcended my hair if you will
no-limit people are human beings who
take what they are and accept it and
don’t tell themselves that somehow
they’re deficient because of anything
this is a very crucial
concepts for for me and for virtually
all of us it’s this idea of taking your
life in your own hands
and being the kind of person that you
choose to be and understanding that
everything that comes your way is an
opportunity is a blessing and it wasn’t
until I learned how to celebrate
virtually everything that came my way
that I was able to transcend it you see
everything that was given to us by God
whatever that is
it’s perfect no one can deny the
mountains are perfect and the rivers are
perfect and the birds are perfect and
the hippopotamuses are perfect and and
and so on
this is just what was given to us
everything else that you have on our
planet that we have on our planet comes
about as a result of thinking thinking
thought makes it so all right
this microphone comes about as a result
of thinking somebody imagines it
somebody then tells somebody else and
it’s been a creative the dress that
you’re wearing this shirt that I’m the
shoes that you have the stage these
cameras everything that you see that
wasn’t given to us was created by man as
a result of the way that we think the
way that we think so what gets inside of
us as a cell comes about as a result of
the way that we choose to think in our
lives very important principle to
understand because once you get a hold
of thinking and that it creates
everything that you have in your life
you can change and make it is absolutely
perfect as you want it to be because
thought makes it so create a
visualization is what we’re talking
about here you the imagery or the image
that you have of anything in your life
is really like mental behavior it’s like
going on and practicing if you go out
and practice with a basketball shooting
three throws over and over again that’s
physical practice imagery is mental
practice it’s mental behavior when you
have an image that you can succeed excel
at something when you have an image that
you can do it rather than that you can’t
do it when you get into your car and you
have an image that you’re going to find
a parking place rather than that
there’ll be no place to park so you’re
not looking for no place to fire you
will start acting on the image that you
have very much like you will start
acting on the practice that you have
when you’re shooting baskets or when
you’re hitting a forehand or or working
on your soup or anything else that
you’re doing Bucky fuller who I served
with on the Hunger Project Advisory
Council for nine years who died not too
long ago said that 99% of who you are
you can’t touch you can’t see you can’t
smell 99% of youth is untouchable
unsellable invisible it is what Ken
Kaiser is called your your conscious
awareness it’s your it’s what looks out
behind those eyeballs what is that it
isn’t it isn’t cells it’s some kind of
conscious awareness that you are and
make no mistake about it you’ve occupied
a whole lot of bodies already
now this is not reincarnation talk
although I don’t know about this
reincarnation people asked me if I
believed in it I said well I taught in a
junior high school in the inner city of
Detroit for four years and I saw those
dead bodies come to life every day at 3
o’clock
now if what you if 99% of who you are
you can’t touch and you can’t feel and
you can’t smell then where’d it what is
it who is it where are you what is this
thing called your essence or who you are
and where does it go now think of this
you were in a body I have a little baby
girl who’s 11 months old and she and we
were all in a body that size when it’s
only a body about this big got fingers
only this long you know got tiny tiny
little parts all over the place I mean
she’s only this tall now is that her is
that her essence because I have other
children who are much older and I am
much older than that and I can remember
being three and being in a different
body still me still my essence they’re
different but totally doesn’t even look
anything like when I look was 11 months
old and then I was 13 and had a funny
body at 13 but still my essence was
there in a whole new body hairs growing
all over the place that I didn’t
understand all kinds of things happening
to it you know then hairs falling out of
it later on you know looking at those
hairs and fall out say what held it in
yesterday you know what I don’t even
understand that okay and so it’s like
Who I am has been in many many bodies
already alright and that essence you see
everything on our planet that is alive
can never die but can never die life
doesn’t die it just transforms it just
moves on to new places and new ways of
being
and the way of being that is the most
transcendent of all is this way that
comes from seeing yourself as love and
only having that to give away only
having that to give away let’s say I
were to stand up here in front of you
and just visualize for a moment that I
have an orange and I take this orange
and I squeeze it as hard as I could
squeeze okay what’s going to come on
– kinda juice
or is it apple juice any chance once in
a while come on now and then little
mango juice come out of an orange once
in a while
no mistakes right never no matter what
next question
everybody passes these are easy okay why
when you squeeze an orange as hard as
you can squeeze it does orange juice
come out cuz that’s not because it’s an
orange because that’s what’s inside
isn’t it on our planet when you squeeze
something what comes out of it is what’s
inside not too difficult all right does
it matter if your mother squeezes the
orange doesn’t matter what instruments
you uses does it matter if you just had
your period and then you squeeze an
orange does it matter if your boss
squeezes it how about if your kids do it
your kids squeeze in or does it matter
doesn’t matter what time are they
supposed they do it at noon all right
how about at 4:00 in the morning does
that matter
whenever you squeeze an orange the only
thing you get out is what’s inside right
no arguments same thing works for you
same principle works for you it’s a
principle of the universe all right
someone squeezes you that is someone
puts pressure on you someone says things
about you that you don’t like someone
puts attention on you whatever your boss
says something to you that you don’t and
out of you comes anger and out of you
comes hatred
and out of you comes fear or out of you
comes stress or out of you comes tension
why is it because of your boss the way
they squeeze never
is it because of your mother I mean she
really can be a pain sometimes right is
it because of your children now what
comes out of you always when someone
squeezes you is what’s inside this is
the the vital principle of being a No
Limit person it’s so crucial to get this
and understand that that if you have any
hatred in your heart for anyone in this
world or any anger or any fear or any of
those things it has nothing to do with
the rest of the world it only has to do
with what you put inside now how does
what gets inside of you
get there that’s the key how does it get
there as you think only as you think you
see there’s no anger in the world
there’s no stress in the world there’s
no tension and it’s perfect we’ve
already stopped it’s perfect place it
works just fine it’s all flowing the way
it’s supposed to flow the evidence for
it is it is that’s all the evidence you
need just look around you everything out
there is a miracle everything including
you there are no mistakes it’s all
perfect and everything that happens to
you in your life whether it’s a trauma
whether it’s a disease whether it’s
somebody treating you in a certain way
there’s a lesson in all of it no-limit
people understand the lesson in life and
it’s true and when you get to that point
in your life where you’re not cursing
the things that come your way and
blaming the things that come your way
and particularly blaming it on somebody
else and you hear it all the time she
hurt my feelings how’s that possible how
can anybody hurt your feelings your
feelings come from your thoughts no one
can hurt your feelings without your
consent
no one can make a fool of you without
your consent no one can embarrass you
without your consent these are choices
that you have that come from the way
that you think someone calls you a name
a stupid and you turn around I didn’t
even tell you buddy I was coming how did
they know that all right and then you
blame the person who called you a name
instead of saying that’s just their
opinion that’s just where they are
that’s where they are on the path and
it’s okay all of you are in
relationships right everybody has a
relationship of some kind or another in
your relationship they have any problems
and if you have relationship you don’t
have any problems I’d like you to take
this microphone I want to sit down and
listen to you everybody in a
relationship has problems don’t they all
right now when you say I’m in a
relationship I got problems therefore
there’s something wrong something’s
really wrong I know if you’re in a
relationship and you have problems and
something is wrong you got to call in a
consultant right you got to call in
somebody to help you with the problems
you want the problems to go on who are
you gonna call it
you only got yourself that’s all you got
you might get a therapist once in a
while but they got worse problems than
you did
the only consultant who can help you
with your problems is you and who is
that consultant that you’re calling in
we’ve already established that there’s
something wrong with that person right
some wrong so now you’re gonna call in a
disabled person to deal with your
problems in your relationship right now
this is a really sick approach to curing
your problems you got somebody says we
got a problem you don’t talk to me you
came home last week and this week I
called you and you didn’t call and I was
supposed to call you and then you didn’t
do it hello can you do that now this is
the consultant you’re calling scuse me
will you come in and help us oh that’s
the person you got to deal with your
problems all right now what you can do
is you can change all of that around you
can say I’m in a relationship we got
problems
there’s nothing wrong with her that’s
the way things are you know my problem
is that you are different than I am and
you think differently than I do
and you behave differently than are you
and you smell different than I do and
you have all of these attitudes over
here that I don’t have nothing wrong
with that that’s the way it is when two
people get together in a relationship
you don’t have two people becoming one
if you do that then what you end up with
there to have persons who wants a half a
person in a relationship you always are
single even if you’re married and for
you know and involved in relationship
you’re still always single you’re still
always you your unique special perfect
self that is not trying to love but who
is love who lives love who is being
loved
the same as if you pray to God and say
God will you please help me with my
problems and want God to do it for you
never you’ve got to be God not be afraid
to carry God around inside if you want
to get healed you have got to understand
that you’re not going to get healed if
you are asking someone else to heal you
and ask any doctor if you know any
surgeon particularly he was taking
somebody into surgery and ask them which
person has a better chance of living a
surviving say serious surgery is that
the one who has a will to live or is it
the one who’s just given up and the
surgery and the cases are exactly the
same right but the person who has that
will which we can’t define you can’t go
out and get a bucket full of will and
bring it in there it’s an attitude it’s
an approach it’s a belief right that you
can do something and when you have that
belief about yourself and you know
you’ve got so much better opportunity to
be well in your life and a belief is
everything I don’t know if you’ve ever
thought of that I watched a little girl
five years old learning how to swim and
she holding on to the edge of the pool
and she wants to get over here to the
steps and it’s just five feet or six
feet and she’ll let go and she’ll hold
on again and she’ll let go and she’ll
hold on again and finally there comes a
time when she lets go and goes for it
okay you’ve all seen you’ve seen this
with your children you’ve seen and what
you ask yourself is in the moment before
that when she was holding on and then
look at the moment afterwards does she
have any different skills what’s change
you know the skills are machine have any
new skills these are learning skills in
that second what she has is a belief
that she can do it and when you believe
it when you really just believe that you
can do it that’s what allows you to swim
and when you think about it now do you
not a swim yeah so when you dive into
the water you don’t think about that you
just know when you dive into the water
you can swim you don’t have any
necessary swimming skills or anything
like that or when you get on a bicycle
you get on you know that you’re gonna
unless you believe you can’t because
you’ve never gone out there and tried it
and worked on it and I’ve told a story
of a patient of yours who had that very
problem who said she didn’t know how to
ride a bicycle
yeah Gayle who came to me many years ago
and you know why she said she couldn’t
ride a bicycle because her mother
wouldn’t let her get on one
kako yeah absolutely and she had these
beautiful big white teeth and her mother
had always told her you could fall and
break your teeth and I wouldn’t want
that to happen to you so here she was
now in her 30s and telling me that she
couldn’t ride a bike and she was in
therapy
and I said to her okay let’s go
she said go where we going I said well
I’ve got a bicycle downstairs and I’m
gonna show you how to ride a bike I’m
gonna have you teach yourself how to do
this and she said look I didn’t come
here to pay you the kind of money that
I’m paying you to have you teach me how
to ride a bicycle I came here to find
out why I can’t I said oh well you’re
gonna need another 30 seconds of therapy
easy okay the reason you can’t is
because you never got yourself on a
bicycle and until you do you never will
know how and you just believe that you
can’t oh that’s the end of that there’s
no more toutaku
about that now what we have to do is get
you to get out to him we went downstairs
and there’s a woman’s bike and I’ve
helped a lot of people to teach
themselves how to ride a bike and what
you do when you teach you help someone
to teach themselves how to ride a bike
because you don’t teach anybody how to
ride a bike
okay if you let them do it all
themselves you let them hold it you let
them balance it you let them move with
it you let them put the pedal down and
move it themselves you stand back you
say no when you’re ready you know and
then you’re moving and you’re hold on
for a second then you put your foot back
down and you you practice it in practice
and practice that all yourself
you know it’s just someone encouraging
you and before long in just a matter of
minutes when I tell you it was minutes
and this woman had never been on a
bicycle before she rode like two blocks
on a bicycle she couldn’t believe that
you she now had a belief being to me
means seeing the greatness and the
uniqueness in you and never letting
anybody else convince you to the
contrary when people ask me come on
you’re always talking about being up and
you’re always positive and so on you
mean to tell me that you’re always that
way this is I say yeah yeah I really am
and it isn’t because I’m out there doing
something in an artificial way it’s an
authentic response to my heaven having
gotten the junk out of me and the junk
is the way that I used to think the way
that I used to think think for a moment
if you can visualize right here a clock
big clock and the hands on the clock go
from 1 to 12 the clock starts right out
here with the minute hand and it goes
over towards the 3 the hour hand minute
hand and that’s the time in your life
when you are moving away from yourself
from your true self that’s the time when
you are trying to put other people down
trying to prove that you’re bigger and
better than somebody else trying to make
yourself right all the time as opposed
to being with somebody else it’s like
you’re moving away and a lot of people
spend a lot of time moving away from
their true self because your true self
is this little child it’s this beautiful
little child inside of you that has only
love and acceptance for everything in
the world and no disease no absence of
ease you move away towards the 3 and
then you move down here this way and
you’re still moving away from yourself
until you hit the 6 the 6 is the point
in your life symbolically metaphorically
here when you are the furthest away from
yourself that you can be it’s the low
point in your life it’s the point where
many people break down or many people
break down their relationships or they
they feel full of despair they feel full
of hatred whatever it may be and a lot
of people die then a lot of people are
put into hospitals then a lot of people
have to really seek out therapy then and
so on and when you’re at that thing
there’s another part of the clock that
goes from 6 to 12 that I think of as
living in the light and this is when and
see this clock hand never can go back it
can’t go back it can only go this way it
only cause this way as there’s life that
only goes this way forward in this
period this place between 6 and 12
that’s when you start coming back to
yourself that’s when that’s what
enlightenment is that’s what that’s the
pathway to enlightenment when you send
out that stuff that is destroying you
it’s killing you in one way or another
and you move yourself back over here and
eventually you get yourself all the way
back this is the light over here this is
the place where you can’t go back you be
tempted you might be tempted to steal it
might be tempted to to to use anger you
might even slip a little bit and you
catch yourself I can fit just not too
long ago it was we’ve got a problem with
our sprinkler that in my home one of the
sprinkler heads is off and if you ever
seen that happened you get a gusher or
going up there and I’ve been wanting to
get that thing replaced for the longest
time I’m walking out of the bank and
there’s a sprinkler head right there and
in far the bank that I practically own
this Bank okay so I mean I go there
every day and I do a lot of business
with this bank and I’m looking at this
sprinkler head and I think you know all
I have to do is just unscrew this thing
it wasn’t honorary it don’t replace it
tomorrow morning it’s 98 cents or
whatever so I actually get down there
and I’m and I start turning the
sprinkler and then I start thinking do I
want this karma do you know do I want do
I want to steal do I want to take I know
it’s only a nine tonight and if I went
into the bank they’d probably give me
one anyway if I asked them and I turn
and I just turned it back and I said if
I want a sprinkler head I’ll go and buy
one for myself this doesn’t belong to me
there was just like a split-second of
weakness there or whatever one but it
illustrates it to me that I can’t go
back there I could never and there was a
time in my life when I could have done
that I can be absolutely Frank with that
I could do that I can’t go back there
anymore that’s where you start that’s
the place to start because when you get
all of that out when that’s all gone and
I mean gone and it only comes about as a
result of the way that you think so it’s
just changing around your approach to
life the way that you think in life when
that starts to go away what you’ve
become filled up with is what your
natural self is which is this loving
accepting not fighting the universe but
in
said living in it and going with the
flow and all of the kinds of cliches
that you’ve heard a thousand times it is
that’s the metaphor there and you see
every time you try to go back you can’t
do it you can’t do it and the
ingredients that make for a No Limit
life are five in my opinion the first is
quality rather than appearances you
begin to change your thinking from
appearances and how things look and how
other people view me okay because every
time you find yourself upset in life
about anything that anyone else has said
what you’re really saying is what you
think of me is more important than what
I think of me all right so you change
from appearances to what I call quality
thinking quality what is the quality of
my life rather than how does it appear
to others now do you tell yourself that
because my friends don’t like me that
that means there’s something wrong with
me
now that’s see that’s what you have to
learn that another person’s opinion is
just that it’s their opinion and that’s
all it is every time you are upset or
your children are upset because of what
somebody else says about them including
their peers what you are really saying
in that moment and this is really
important what you’re saying is what you
think of me is more important than what
I think of myself and you must never
give anybody that kind of power and
control over you because they will
always have it the funny part about
approval for those of you who really
want it Andrea now I’m here to tell you
that I like approval I enjoy it I find
it one of the most exciting things in
the way I like it when people read my
books I love it when people applaud and
I like it when people tell me nice
things and all
I like approval I’m the first one to
admit it what I don’t do is I don’t need
approval
there’s a big difference between wanting
approval and needing approval when you
need approval
it means you become immobilized when you
don’t get it from making other people’s
opinions more important now for those of
you who say yeah but I want approval and
I need it and if I don’t get it and so
on then understand this the people who
get the most approval in life are the
ones who care the least about it and the
ones who get the least approval are the
ones who are always going after it so if
you want approval in this paradoxical
way that I’m talking about it stop
needing it stop concerning yourself but
ask yourself who gets the most approval
in life think of the person that gets
the most approval and you’ll see that
that person couldn’t care less what
other people are thinking they’re so
busy being they don’t have time to
notice what their neighbors are doing a
row said this he said if you advance
confidently in the direction of your own
dreams and endeavor to live the life
which you have imagined you will meet
with a success unexpected in common
hours what that means is that success is
not something that you can get in life
success is an inner process success is
something that you bring to everything
you do in your life it isn’t something
you get out of what you do and when you
get that and you learn how to get the
junk out and advance confidently doing
what makes the most amount of sense to
you based on your inner signals and the
one issue of morality which is you never
interfere with anybody else’s right to
do the same each person has their own
right to advance confidently in the
direction of their own dreams and when
you violate that you’re violating the
principle of the universe the essence of
the universe which is cooperation
then success will begin to chase you and
it will come into your life and arrive
in your life in amounts that you never
dreamt of before that you never dreamt
up things will start happening to you
that you would never imagine before I’m
working on a book right now that’s gonna
be called you’ll see it when you believe
it when you start believing in some of
these principles you’ll start seeing
things that you were blind to for so
long when you were back here in the 2
and the 3 and the 4 and the 5 when you
were moving away from yourself as long
as you’re moving back towards your
Universal essence your harmony with
yourself your cooperation with the rest
things will start happening in ways that
you never dreamt up you called it
synchronicity and we as the term that we
use to explain how unexplainable
coincidences sort of happen in our life
and how come these things have I’m gonna
share a couple of those with you before
we leave
the the quality versus appearance in
your life means that you get that inner
candle flame working in a way that gives
you quality independent of what other
people think of you Maslow in defining
self actualizing no limit people said
they are independent of the good opinion
of other people of the good opinion of
other people independent of it they’re
so busy advancing confidently doing the
things that makes sense and bringing
success to changing their baby’s diaper
and bringing success to weeding their
garden and bringing it to the job they
bring it on the airplane so that when
they run into somebody who is who is
rude to them a stewardess that is rude
they don’t see it as an attack on them
it’s just where they are and they send
them love help them a little bit you
know they’re kind what somebody wants to
get in on the freeway and their one old
temptation when they were on the one to
the sick side was to say oh yeah
nobody’s getting in front of me I’m
getting there first it’s like it slowed
down a little bit they don’t have all
that type-a stuff of having to beat
somebody else and having to defeat
somebody it is it’s a new way of being
it’s a way of quality where you’re
harmony allows you to cooperate and you
are a part of what this whole thing is
about new way of being quality rather
than appearances another new way of
being very important living your life on
ethics rather than rules ethics rather
than rules all these rules all these
ways of having to do things somebody
else dictates to them do you know that
some of the most immoral acts in the
world have been perpetrated in the name
of the rules these are the laws what do
you think Nazi Germany was all about
everybody doing all these horrible
things to other people I’m only doing my
job was the defense we all heard at
Nuremberg I was just doing my job if
it’s an immoral rule it’s immoral to
obey it and self-actualizing people as
mezzo tells us have rules inside of them
that they could never open never disobey
ever
and they have to do with ethics how you
treat people how do you think we get to
where we are now you know who Rosa Parks
was the woman in the South the black
woman in the South who said not today
I’m not going to the back today no way I
know what the rules are the rules were
all over the place if you didn’t need if
you needed a reminder there were signs
every place colored in the back white in
the front and she said no I’m sitting
here and that made all the difference
ethics not rules when your children
start disobeying rules that need to be
disobeyed don’t be surprised when I was
in the service they had a policy on Guam
where I was stationed which would not
allow the Guamanian civilians to shop in
the PX in the Navy exchanges but they
did allow all other civilians to shop in
the Navy exchanges in pxs but if you
were Guamanian that is if your skin was
dark and your eyes were shaped a little
different than you couldn’t a clear
outright violation I was a servicemen I
was in the Navy as a communications
cryptographer they had a newspaper on
the Guam Daily News and it said an
there was a letter writing contest and
they offered $75 to the first prize
winner $75 this was 1961 that was a
fortune to me that was a month’s pay in
the Navy at that time almost so I
entered the contest and I knew I would
win it I had already written a novel at
that time a whole novel I had written
while I was on Guam I knew it wasn’t
gonna be a contest I felt sorry for the
other people entering it I knew I was
gonna win it unfortunately I didn’t
realize that when you’re in the service
and you have an opinion and you don’t
submit it to the chain of command that
you can be court-martialed for that so
the headlines on next week’s Guam Daily
News were u.s. sailor a sales policy of
discrimination big hot stuff all right
and I was called before a Vice Admiral
commander naval forces Marianas Islands
and threatened with a court-martial
because I had disobeyed the rules even
though the rule was immoral there are
lots of them like that and when I went
in and they threatened me with the
court-martial I told him this was my
battle plan I didn’t have Xerox machines
in those days so I had to get a lot of
carbon paper I wrote a letter to the
President John F Kennedy and I wrote a
letter to the Secretary of the Navy and
I wrote a letter I was my hometown was
Detroit I wrote a letter to the Detroit
News and a letter to the Detroit Free
Press telling them what was happening to
me as a result of just expressing my
opinion about an immoral act that was
going on over here on Guam and I showed
the naval
Vice Admiral my letters right there I
said I’ve only sent the one to the
these letters go to the newspapers
across the country there was one there
to the New York Times as well the Los
Angeles night it was and I just spread
them off before him I said if you
court-martial me punished me in any way
for this
and I’m prepared I’m ready I can handle
it and I was 20 years old 21
not only did I get a blessing from that
because all things come in blessings for
you I got out 90 days early and they
stamped on my record P I because the
president took it up and sent it to the
secretary must have I never heard from
him but I got
p.i on your record means political
influence and they don’t like anybody
with political influence abroad and as
soon as they saw that they said this is
somebody we probably will be giving a
discharge real soon
there was no clerk there was no court
marshal and in September of 1962 a brand
new policy was initiated on Guam which
allowed any civilian to shop in the Navy
exchanges and it came about as a result
of someone saying these rules are
immoral and therefore it’s immoral to
obey them new ways of being ethics
rather than rules and when your kids
want to know why how come these rules
are so stupid how come we have to do
this and encourage them to change that
my mother always did that she would have
to help me get out of the thought of the
messes that I got myself into because I
did it in my impetuous youth I would
just when they would say to me what’s
more important your job or school I was
just honest
since the paycheck of course that’s how
I felt in those days but what you do put
out in the world is exactly what’s going
back to you and if you find things
coming back to you that you don’t like
and don’t understand don’t ask yourself
why these things are coming to you ask
yourself what you’re doing to make them
come back to you and when you start
putting the responsibility on yourself
you’ll start seeing dramatic changes
dramatic changes a new way of being
instead of ethics instead of rules
ethics a new another new way of being
instead of looking all your life for
achievements and externals try living
your life on knowledge for the sake of
knowledge knowledge instead of
achievement for the sake of knowledge
being in a in a context in which you
don’t have to collect a lot of merit
badges you don’t have to collect a lot
of a lot of awards and other people’s
value judgments that you go to school or
you go out into the world or you read or
whatever it is you do because it makes
sense to you not because of what
somebody else is going to put on a
transcript or where you’re going to
appear in a class list we need to help
our children to understand and value the
importance of knowledge for the sake of
knowledge and doing things that make
sense rather than taking the easy way
knowledge rather than always trying to
achieve we’re in an achievement oriented
society which tells us that we evaluate
and judge a human being based upon how
many cheese achievements he has but most
of the people who get caught up in that
trap and are always in this circle of
trying to get ahead trying to always get
ahead their reward for that almost
always as higher blood pressure ulcers
early deaths and even things like cancer
were beginning to find out are related
to the kinds of stresses that we have
and remember it’s a perfect universe
there’s no stress in it
there’s only people thinking stressful
thoughts and when you put that pressure
on yourself to always achieve and get
ahead of the other guy you miss what
it’s really all about there’s nothing
wrong with goals it’s falling in love
with them that’s the problem it’s not
being able to be flexible and be all to
them if you have a goal to get here to
get $100,000 in the bank to get to this
promotion to get two cars in your garage
whatever it is that your goal is and
you’re on your way to that and you’re
always working at the goal all of this
stuff on your way to the goal it’s
called striving and that’s what you
learn
striving right it’s a very low level
place to be when you get to your goal
because all you’ve ever known is
striving you will just always suffer
from this disease called more you will
just upgrade your goal to $200,000 for
cars and two houses and another wife and
a younger one and and all of these kinds
of things if you have a goal and you
understand that every step along the way
is a present moment to enjoy and to live
then the goal won’t become any obsession
I don’t have any gold people ask me
where you’re gonna be five years from
now what are you gonna be doing what’s
next for you I just remember what
Lincoln said who to me was like the
greatest person who ever sat in that
White House he said I’ve never had a
policy he said I just tried to do what
made the greatest amount of sense each
and every day of my life as I was sat
there in the
and I think this there’s something
really significant in that that you
don’t have to get it all planned out and
follow a certain pattern and do it a
certain way if you just sort of trust
your inner instincts and go with that
and live each moment the gold stuff
we’ll all take care of itself
if you’re sacrificing and pushing your
life aside and suffering on your way to
trying to get someplace you’ll never get
there it will always elude you because
once you get there you’ll just have to
upgrade it and that’s because that’s all
you’ll know now this is that purest form
of sanity living in this moment and
enjoying it and all the rest of it will
sort of work its way out another new way
of being for me is to think of yourself
in terms of personal authority rather
than being an authoritarian personal
Authority a person who has authority
never needs to dominate anyone else ever
dominating doesn’t become necessary in
business you can have a thora the people
who have the most authority are the ones
who listen the most and the ones who are
the most conscientious about what do
other people have to say a person in a
relationship who has to dominate
somebody else and has to make the other
person submissive shows that they don’t
have Authority because they’re getting
their power not from within for
themselves but on the basis of who they
can control and that never lasts that
never lasts the only thing that lasts is
having inner power if you will know
thyself
that’s what Shakespeare said know
thyself the more you know yourself the
more you the more you become honest with
yourself
honesty becomes just a way of life no I
don’t think the world necessarily does
but you can’t run your world you can’t
run your world based upon what the rest
of the people in the world want or don’t
want to me honesty is like it’s a karma
that goes out into the world how people
treat you in the world is their Karma
how you react is yours and what when you
react to it with dishonesty that’s what
you’re putting out into the world
dishonesty and when you put this on
honesty out into the world
that’s what’s gonna come back to you
because what cosine is what comes back
at all as you sow so shall you reap I
mean it’s it’s in every great
institution that there is in the world
what whether it’s a religion or a
philosophy or whatever what you put out
is what comes back
whatever you plant is what you’re gonna
get back and the more that you put out
honesty just because it’s what you are
because you are being honesty you’re not
trying to be honest you’re just being
honesty then that’s what will come back
to you on a regular basis and when it
doesn’t you’ll just see that as another
test for you to pass and finally a fifth
way of being that is new for me it
because become a way of life
it’s called serenity instead of
acquisitions
the more you try to acquire the more you
try to get the more you try to collect
in your life and evaluate yourself on
the basis of that the less serenity
you’re going to have more is less it’s
almost a secret of the universe
serenity means inner peace means that
you can find joy in every moment that
you have in your life instead of always
looking for it it means that while you
are driving along the countryside you
know and seeing instead of saying this
is I’m on my way to this point that you
can open your eyes and see it with new
eyes you see the rolling Mound see the
grass see the deer see the sky see you
can just stop wherever you are in the
second wherever you are and just look
around you and you can begin to
appreciate just your and your
surroundings in your environment then
you can begin to appreciate the people
that are in your life and even the ones
that are negative and you’re having the
most difficulty with you can practice a
new way of being with them which is
sending them love sending them flowers
send them books enema tape send them
something and just see what kind of
reaction that you get super emotional
health it’s just an attitude an attitude
is everything
I want to summarize these new ways of
being and give you the most important
ingredient on the path as we leave I
said that it’s quality in your life to
be focusing on rather than appearances
in its ethics rather than rules on its
knowledge rather than achievement all
the time and it’s being personally an
authority on yourself rather than the
authoritarian and trying to be down on
it dominating someone else or to be
dominated and serenity which is the name
of my little Guevara my youngest
daughter Serena rather than acquisitions
and accumulations and trying to prove
yourself that way and when you get that
serenity which comes from the way that
you think
always then you will replace all of the
other junk
that keeps you back here between 6 & 1
on that clock and once you pass it once
you get passive you’ll never ever be
able to go back because the light living
in the light is a way of it’s a way of
being that if you’re not there you don’t
get it yet but once you see it and once
it begins to and take over your life you
can never go back that that is your
purpose
it isn’t your purpose isn’t to try to be
loving your purpose is to be loved and
only have that to give away well but
there’s one other ingredient and it’s
really crucial forgiveness is the vital
ingredient on the path of enlightenment
and if you don’t know how to do it and
practice sending out love take the
person or the people that you’re having
conflict with any place in your life
send them something you don’t have to
even do it physically just send them
something that comes from inside and
what’s inside is how you choose to think
and if you can make that love and do
that and that is to me the test not
whether you can love someone when they
smell good when they do everything that
you’re supposed to but whether you can
love someone who has sent you hate or
anguish in your life and send it back
you don’t have to forget you don’t have
to go back but you got to get it out of
you because it is blocking you and
holding you back and when I said you’ll
see it when you believe it
all my life I had wanted to write
fiction a parable 3 4 years ago I
decided to go off to Hawaii to Maui to
kind of poly beach and to write now the
books that had met the most difference
in my life were the little prince
candied Siddhartha Jonathan Livingston
Seagull illusions Alice Through the
Looking Glass Gulliver’s Travels
parables teaching parables stories that
can tell a message I went over to Maui
and I sat down on the beach and I’ve
been talking about writing this I’ve
been talking about doing this and it was
something that and I have a little girl
and her name is Skye SK ye I decided to
reverse the letters in her name
ey K s and put an eye in there which
symbolizes the self I kiss and I just
created this parable of a woman whose
name as I kiss who lives on another
planet the planet is Uranus and it’s a
duplicate mirror image of Earth only I
kiss can only see things as they are not
as we would like them to be and
therefore people are neurotic on Uranus
because they have to be she gives the
anxiety attack report if you will
because anxiety really does attack over
there and tell us about anxiety coming
in on the weekends and so on well my
visitor in my parable goes to Uranus
meets I guess she cannot understand as
he describes earth why people would be
neurotic by choice on earth why would
anybody be unhappy or depressed or
miserable when they don’t have one
anxiety doesn’t attack and when
elevators really don’t scare you and
when if you want a complex on Uranus oh
you want to give a complex to your wife
you go to the store and buy one and
she’s what happened well my husband gave
me a complan
oh it’s true whereas on earth if you
have a complex it’s because you’ve
chosen to have one she can’t figure it
out okay
so she comes here observes our people
and begins to see the secrets of the
universe and gives us these secrets
talks to the top leaders in our field
and that was my parable and I wrote it
she gives all of these wonderful secrets
some of which I’ve been talking about
here today what I want to tell you is
that my wife gave me a license plate and
the license plate says ICA’s okay it’s a
vanity plate and I was pumping gas on
federal highway in Fort Lauderdale
Florida and a little man from Greece
came up to me and he said but means this
fy8 which is how you say that in Greek I
said well that’s just a word it’s my
daughter’s name spelled backwards it’s a
parable that I wrote he said no he said
in Greek that’s a word
so what could that work be he said it
you’ll see it when you
the great big erroneous known the cosmic
erroneous own and you get this one he’ll
have it and understand
there is no
[Music] happiness is the way
No Limit person taking charge of your
own life something I really believe that
you are to sum total of all of the
choices that you’ve made up until now
and anything about yourself or your life
that you don’t like or isn’t working or
is mobilizing you is to be looked at in
terms of can I grow rather than why did
I do it or isn’t this wrong see the two
ways to motivate yourself our deficiency
motivation which says where I am I don’t
like I don’t like what I’ve done I don’t
like the fact that I can’t do this well
or I can’t do that well so I will list
these things in my own repertoire and
then I will be constantly trying to
repair those deficiencies always
assuming that I’m deficient that there’s
something wrong with me and I’m trying
to fix it and when you do that you spend
your whole life doing that and you never
arrive because your life becomes a
series of trying to get someplace else
and it is if you follow that if you live
that if you behave that then what what
happens to you is you become a person
who will always suffer from this disease
called more
you always have to have more because
whenever you are getting where you want
to go let’s say you want $100,000 in the
bank and your work and you struggle and
you deny yourself and you do all of
those things and you finally finally you
get there and here you are you got
$100,000 in the bank all of this stuff
over here of course your life and that
is all you know that’s what you know how
to that’s how you are that is your being
that is your way of being so that when
you do get here what you will do is say
this is not enough you must a No Limit
person is never operating from
deficiency or from lack in their life
you see you’re never going to get enough
you already are
everything you’re everything that you
need think of it for just a moment
everything that you need to have total
bliss perfection of your life you
already are
you already have it you came into this
world with nothing that’s how you’re
going out and the time that you have
here what you have is your uniqueness
your specialness and you don’t need
anything else
now think on this if you don’t know how
to appreciate what you have and where
you are in your life you don’t need
anything else because if you do get
something else you won’t know how to
appreciate that either you’ll just want
more or you’ll want it to be different
or you want it to be the way it used to
be or you’ll want someone else to be the
way you think they should be successful
people are no limit people are self
actualizing people inner directed people
however you whatever labels that have
been put on them by great thinkers
philosophers
therapists and people that have looked
at human beings these kinds of people
are people who always have enough there
are some people if you invite them over
and you say you know I’d like you to I
like you to come over tonight and I’d
like you to stay over if you can instead
of having to drive back and not say why
can you say can you stay and I say well
I don’t know if I can stay or not
well you could sleep on the cot oh no no
I could never sleep on the cot I I can’t
sleep on cots
I got a sciatica I don’t see nothing
ever I have back pain and I don’t on
cots no that’s out of the question I
couldn’t sleep on a cot and what about
breakfast well we don’t have any food
but we have some old grape fruit that
are in the in the refrigerator they have
a few spots on them off no I could never
eat grapefruit spots no thanks I can’t
eat grapefruit spots I just couldn’t do
that you know and these are people who
never have enough they are not able to
be flexible and to change and there are
other people if you say would you like
to sleep over we got a place in the
sewer hey that’d be great I can handle
that
no problem I slept there before it’s all
right
all we have is great for oh I love
grapefruit well we got biscuits bottom
oh I really like grapefruit spots those
are terrific huh I’ll go for those there
are some people who can handle anything
not because their circumstances are
different you see your circumstances
have very little to do with your
fulfillment in life very little it’s
it’s how you’re approaching your
circumstances it’s your attitude towards
your circumstances that make all the
difference in the world
and taking what you are and accepting it
I got to show you this I don’t know if
the camera can get this this is a little
advertisement that was in the Detroit
Free Press for last September I was
giving a speech at the Unity Church of
today in Detroit and it says dr. Wayne
Dyer will talk about your inner child
and how to deal effectively with
problems in all relationships it wasn’t
a real nice ad you can see that then on
top of the ad in the same paper there’s
right on top of my head there’s no
hiding from hair loss they got a picture
of a guy well the box over his head and
they have a before and after guy there
and the after guy looks like he’s just
found fulfillment and it says you can’t
run and you can’t hide hair loss is a
problem and unless you take action it
will continue now we’ve got to look at
this in terms of what I can do with this
and how I can handle this see my
daughter helped me with being bald a
long time ago she said dad you’re not
really Paul don’t think of yourself
anyway she said you’re just about this
much taller than your hair that’s all
just sort of a nice way to look at it so
I just sort of outgrew my hair sort of
transcended my hair if you will
no-limit people are human beings who
take what they are and accept it and
don’t tell themselves that somehow
they’re deficient because of anything
this is a very crucial
concepts for for me and for virtually
all of us it’s this idea of taking your
life in your own hands
and being the kind of person that you
choose to be and understanding that
everything that comes your way is an
opportunity is a blessing and it wasn’t
until I learned how to celebrate
virtually everything that came my way
that I was able to transcend it you see
everything that was given to us by God
whatever that is
it’s perfect no one can deny the
mountains are perfect and the rivers are
perfect and the birds are perfect and
the hippopotamuses are perfect and and
and so on
this is just what was given to us
everything else that you have on our
planet that we have on our planet comes
about as a result of thinking thinking
thought makes it so all right
this microphone comes about as a result
of thinking somebody imagines it
somebody then tells somebody else and
it’s been a creative the dress that
you’re wearing this shirt that I’m the
shoes that you have the stage these
cameras everything that you see that
wasn’t given to us was created by man as
a result of the way that we think the
way that we think so what gets inside of
us as a cell comes about as a result of
the way that we choose to think in our
lives very important principle to
understand because once you get a hold
of thinking and that it creates
everything that you have in your life
you can change and make it is absolutely
perfect as you want it to be because
thought makes it so create a
visualization is what we’re talking
about here you the imagery or the image
that you have of anything in your life
is really like mental behavior it’s like
going on and practicing if you go out
and practice with a basketball shooting
three throws over and over again that’s
physical practice imagery is mental
practice it’s mental behavior when you
have an image that you can succeed excel
at something when you have an image that
you can do it rather than that you can’t
do it when you get into your car and you
have an image that you’re going to find
a parking place rather than that
there’ll be no place to park so you’re
not looking for no place to fire you
will start acting on the image that you
have very much like you will start
acting on the practice that you have
when you’re shooting baskets or when
you’re hitting a forehand or or working
on your soup or anything else that
you’re doing Bucky fuller who I served
with on the Hunger Project Advisory
Council for nine years who died not too
long ago said that 99% of who you are
you can’t touch you can’t see you can’t
smell 99% of youth is untouchable
unsellable invisible it is what Ken
Kaiser is called your your conscious
awareness it’s your it’s what looks out
behind those eyeballs what is that it
isn’t it isn’t cells it’s some kind of
conscious awareness that you are and
make no mistake about it you’ve occupied
a whole lot of bodies already
now this is not reincarnation talk
although I don’t know about this
reincarnation people asked me if I
believed in it I said well I taught in a
junior high school in the inner city of
Detroit for four years and I saw those
dead bodies come to life every day at 3
o’clock
now if what you if 99% of who you are
you can’t touch and you can’t feel and
you can’t smell then where’d it what is
it who is it where are you what is this
thing called your essence or who you are
and where does it go now think of this
you were in a body I have a little baby
girl who’s 11 months old and she and we
were all in a body that size when it’s
only a body about this big got fingers
only this long you know got tiny tiny
little parts all over the place I mean
she’s only this tall now is that her is
that her essence because I have other
children who are much older and I am
much older than that and I can remember
being three and being in a different
body still me still my essence they’re
different but totally doesn’t even look
anything like when I look was 11 months
old and then I was 13 and had a funny
body at 13 but still my essence was
there in a whole new body hairs growing
all over the place that I didn’t
understand all kinds of things happening
to it you know then hairs falling out of
it later on you know looking at those
hairs and fall out say what held it in
yesterday you know what I don’t even
understand that okay and so it’s like
Who I am has been in many many bodies
already alright and that essence you see
everything on our planet that is alive
can never die but can never die life
doesn’t die it just transforms it just
moves on to new places and new ways of
being
and the way of being that is the most
transcendent of all is this way that
comes from seeing yourself as love and
only having that to give away only
having that to give away let’s say I
were to stand up here in front of you
and just visualize for a moment that I
have an orange and I take this orange
and I squeeze it as hard as I could
squeeze okay what’s going to come on
– kinda juice
or is it apple juice any chance once in
a while come on now and then little
mango juice come out of an orange once
in a while
no mistakes right never no matter what
next question
everybody passes these are easy okay why
when you squeeze an orange as hard as
you can squeeze it does orange juice
come out cuz that’s not because it’s an
orange because that’s what’s inside
isn’t it on our planet when you squeeze
something what comes out of it is what’s
inside not too difficult all right does
it matter if your mother squeezes the
orange doesn’t matter what instruments
you uses does it matter if you just had
your period and then you squeeze an
orange does it matter if your boss
squeezes it how about if your kids do it
your kids squeeze in or does it matter
doesn’t matter what time are they
supposed they do it at noon all right
how about at 4:00 in the morning does
that matter
whenever you squeeze an orange the only
thing you get out is what’s inside right
no arguments same thing works for you
same principle works for you it’s a
principle of the universe all right
someone squeezes you that is someone
puts pressure on you someone says things
about you that you don’t like someone
puts attention on you whatever your boss
says something to you that you don’t and
out of you comes anger and out of you
comes hatred
and out of you comes fear or out of you
comes stress or out of you comes tension
why is it because of your boss the way
they squeeze never
is it because of your mother I mean she
really can be a pain sometimes right is
it because of your children now what
comes out of you always when someone
squeezes you is what’s inside this is
the the vital principle of being a No
Limit person it’s so crucial to get this
and understand that that if you have any
hatred in your heart for anyone in this
world or any anger or any fear or any of
those things it has nothing to do with
the rest of the world it only has to do
with what you put inside now how does
what gets inside of you
get there that’s the key how does it get
there as you think only as you think you
see there’s no anger in the world
there’s no stress in the world there’s
no tension and it’s perfect we’ve
already stopped it’s perfect place it
works just fine it’s all flowing the way
it’s supposed to flow the evidence for
it is it is that’s all the evidence you
need just look around you everything out
there is a miracle everything including
you there are no mistakes it’s all
perfect and everything that happens to
you in your life whether it’s a trauma
whether it’s a disease whether it’s
somebody treating you in a certain way
there’s a lesson in all of it no-limit
people understand the lesson in life and
it’s true and when you get to that point
in your life where you’re not cursing
the things that come your way and
blaming the things that come your way
and particularly blaming it on somebody
else and you hear it all the time she
hurt my feelings how’s that possible how
can anybody hurt your feelings your
feelings come from your thoughts no one
can hurt your feelings without your
consent
no one can make a fool of you without
your consent no one can embarrass you
without your consent these are choices
that you have that come from the way
that you think someone calls you a name
a stupid and you turn around I didn’t
even tell you buddy I was coming how did
they know that all right and then you
blame the person who called you a name
instead of saying that’s just their
opinion that’s just where they are
that’s where they are on the path and
it’s okay all of you are in
relationships right everybody has a
relationship of some kind or another in
your relationship they have any problems
and if you have relationship you don’t
have any problems I’d like you to take
this microphone I want to sit down and
listen to you everybody in a
relationship has problems don’t they all
right now when you say I’m in a
relationship I got problems therefore
there’s something wrong something’s
really wrong I know if you’re in a
relationship and you have problems and
something is wrong you got to call in a
consultant right you got to call in
somebody to help you with the problems
you want the problems to go on who are
you gonna call it
you only got yourself that’s all you got
you might get a therapist once in a
while but they got worse problems than
you did
the only consultant who can help you
with your problems is you and who is
that consultant that you’re calling in
we’ve already established that there’s
something wrong with that person right
some wrong so now you’re gonna call in a
disabled person to deal with your
problems in your relationship right now
this is a really sick approach to curing
your problems you got somebody says we
got a problem you don’t talk to me you
came home last week and this week I
called you and you didn’t call and I was
supposed to call you and then you didn’t
do it hello can you do that now this is
the consultant you’re calling scuse me
will you come in and help us oh that’s
the person you got to deal with your
problems all right now what you can do
is you can change all of that around you
can say I’m in a relationship we got
problems
there’s nothing wrong with her that’s
the way things are you know my problem
is that you are different than I am and
you think differently than I do
and you behave differently than are you
and you smell different than I do and
you have all of these attitudes over
here that I don’t have nothing wrong
with that that’s the way it is when two
people get together in a relationship
you don’t have two people becoming one
if you do that then what you end up with
there to have persons who wants a half a
person in a relationship you always are
single even if you’re married and for
you know and involved in relationship
you’re still always single you’re still
always you your unique special perfect
self that is not trying to love but who
is love who lives love who is being
loved
the same as if you pray to God and say
God will you please help me with my
problems and want God to do it for you
never you’ve got to be God not be afraid
to carry God around inside if you want
to get healed you have got to understand
that you’re not going to get healed if
you are asking someone else to heal you
and ask any doctor if you know any
surgeon particularly he was taking
somebody into surgery and ask them which
person has a better chance of living a
surviving say serious surgery is that
the one who has a will to live or is it
the one who’s just given up and the
surgery and the cases are exactly the
same right but the person who has that
will which we can’t define you can’t go
out and get a bucket full of will and
bring it in there it’s an attitude it’s
an approach it’s a belief right that you
can do something and when you have that
belief about yourself and you know
you’ve got so much better opportunity to
be well in your life and a belief is
everything I don’t know if you’ve ever
thought of that I watched a little girl
five years old learning how to swim and
she holding on to the edge of the pool
and she wants to get over here to the
steps and it’s just five feet or six
feet and she’ll let go and she’ll hold
on again and she’ll let go and she’ll
hold on again and finally there comes a
time when she lets go and goes for it
okay you’ve all seen you’ve seen this
with your children you’ve seen and what
you ask yourself is in the moment before
that when she was holding on and then
look at the moment afterwards does she
have any different skills what’s change
you know the skills are machine have any
new skills these are learning skills in
that second what she has is a belief
that she can do it and when you believe
it when you really just believe that you
can do it that’s what allows you to swim
and when you think about it now do you
not a swim yeah so when you dive into
the water you don’t think about that you
just know when you dive into the water
you can swim you don’t have any
necessary swimming skills or anything
like that or when you get on a bicycle
you get on you know that you’re gonna
unless you believe you can’t because
you’ve never gone out there and tried it
and worked on it and I’ve told a story
of a patient of yours who had that very
problem who said she didn’t know how to
ride a bicycle
yeah Gayle who came to me many years ago
and you know why she said she couldn’t
ride a bicycle because her mother
wouldn’t let her get on one
kako yeah absolutely and she had these
beautiful big white teeth and her mother
had always told her you could fall and
break your teeth and I wouldn’t want
that to happen to you so here she was
now in her 30s and telling me that she
couldn’t ride a bike and she was in
therapy
and I said to her okay let’s go
she said go where we going I said well
I’ve got a bicycle downstairs and I’m
gonna show you how to ride a bike I’m
gonna have you teach yourself how to do
this and she said look I didn’t come
here to pay you the kind of money that
I’m paying you to have you teach me how
to ride a bicycle I came here to find
out why I can’t I said oh well you’re
gonna need another 30 seconds of therapy
easy okay the reason you can’t is
because you never got yourself on a
bicycle and until you do you never will
know how and you just believe that you
can’t oh that’s the end of that there’s
no more toutaku
about that now what we have to do is get
you to get out to him we went downstairs
and there’s a woman’s bike and I’ve
helped a lot of people to teach
themselves how to ride a bike and what
you do when you teach you help someone
to teach themselves how to ride a bike
because you don’t teach anybody how to
ride a bike
okay if you let them do it all
themselves you let them hold it you let
them balance it you let them move with
it you let them put the pedal down and
move it themselves you stand back you
say no when you’re ready you know and
then you’re moving and you’re hold on
for a second then you put your foot back
down and you you practice it in practice
and practice that all yourself
you know it’s just someone encouraging
you and before long in just a matter of
minutes when I tell you it was minutes
and this woman had never been on a
bicycle before she rode like two blocks
on a bicycle she couldn’t believe that
you she now had a belief being to me
means seeing the greatness and the
uniqueness in you and never letting
anybody else convince you to the
contrary when people ask me come on
you’re always talking about being up and
you’re always positive and so on you
mean to tell me that you’re always that
way this is I say yeah yeah I really am
and it isn’t because I’m out there doing
something in an artificial way it’s an
authentic response to my heaven having
gotten the junk out of me and the junk
is the way that I used to think the way
that I used to think think for a moment
if you can visualize right here a clock
big clock and the hands on the clock go
from 1 to 12 the clock starts right out
here with the minute hand and it goes
over towards the 3 the hour hand minute
hand and that’s the time in your life
when you are moving away from yourself
from your true self that’s the time when
you are trying to put other people down
trying to prove that you’re bigger and
better than somebody else trying to make
yourself right all the time as opposed
to being with somebody else it’s like
you’re moving away and a lot of people
spend a lot of time moving away from
their true self because your true self
is this little child it’s this beautiful
little child inside of you that has only
love and acceptance for everything in
the world and no disease no absence of
ease you move away towards the 3 and
then you move down here this way and
you’re still moving away from yourself
until you hit the 6 the 6 is the point
in your life symbolically metaphorically
here when you are the furthest away from
yourself that you can be it’s the low
point in your life it’s the point where
many people break down or many people
break down their relationships or they
they feel full of despair they feel full
of hatred whatever it may be and a lot
of people die then a lot of people are
put into hospitals then a lot of people
have to really seek out therapy then and
so on and when you’re at that thing
there’s another part of the clock that
goes from 6 to 12 that I think of as
living in the light and this is when and
see this clock hand never can go back it
can’t go back it can only go this way it
only cause this way as there’s life that
only goes this way forward in this
period this place between 6 and 12
that’s when you start coming back to
yourself that’s when that’s what
enlightenment is that’s what that’s the
pathway to enlightenment when you send
out that stuff that is destroying you
it’s killing you in one way or another
and you move yourself back over here and
eventually you get yourself all the way
back this is the light over here this is
the place where you can’t go back you be
tempted you might be tempted to steal it
might be tempted to to to use anger you
might even slip a little bit and you
catch yourself I can fit just not too
long ago it was we’ve got a problem with
our sprinkler that in my home one of the
sprinkler heads is off and if you ever
seen that happened you get a gusher or
going up there and I’ve been wanting to
get that thing replaced for the longest
time I’m walking out of the bank and
there’s a sprinkler head right there and
in far the bank that I practically own
this Bank okay so I mean I go there
every day and I do a lot of business
with this bank and I’m looking at this
sprinkler head and I think you know all
I have to do is just unscrew this thing
it wasn’t honorary it don’t replace it
tomorrow morning it’s 98 cents or
whatever so I actually get down there
and I’m and I start turning the
sprinkler and then I start thinking do I
want this karma do you know do I want do
I want to steal do I want to take I know
it’s only a nine tonight and if I went
into the bank they’d probably give me
one anyway if I asked them and I turn
and I just turned it back and I said if
I want a sprinkler head I’ll go and buy
one for myself this doesn’t belong to me
there was just like a split-second of
weakness there or whatever one but it
illustrates it to me that I can’t go
back there I could never and there was a
time in my life when I could have done
that I can be absolutely Frank with that
I could do that I can’t go back there
anymore that’s where you start that’s
the place to start because when you get
all of that out when that’s all gone and
I mean gone and it only comes about as a
result of the way that you think so it’s
just changing around your approach to
life the way that you think in life when
that starts to go away what you’ve
become filled up with is what your
natural self is which is this loving
accepting not fighting the universe but
in
said living in it and going with the
flow and all of the kinds of cliches
that you’ve heard a thousand times it is
that’s the metaphor there and you see
every time you try to go back you can’t
do it you can’t do it and the
ingredients that make for a No Limit
life are five in my opinion the first is
quality rather than appearances you
begin to change your thinking from
appearances and how things look and how
other people view me okay because every
time you find yourself upset in life
about anything that anyone else has said
what you’re really saying is what you
think of me is more important than what
I think of me all right so you change
from appearances to what I call quality
thinking quality what is the quality of
my life rather than how does it appear
to others now do you tell yourself that
because my friends don’t like me that
that means there’s something wrong with
me
now that’s see that’s what you have to
learn that another person’s opinion is
just that it’s their opinion and that’s
all it is every time you are upset or
your children are upset because of what
somebody else says about them including
their peers what you are really saying
in that moment and this is really
important what you’re saying is what you
think of me is more important than what
I think of myself and you must never
give anybody that kind of power and
control over you because they will
always have it the funny part about
approval for those of you who really
want it Andrea now I’m here to tell you
that I like approval I enjoy it I find
it one of the most exciting things in
the way I like it when people read my
books I love it when people applaud and
I like it when people tell me nice
things and all
I like approval I’m the first one to
admit it what I don’t do is I don’t need
approval
there’s a big difference between wanting
approval and needing approval when you
need approval
it means you become immobilized when you
don’t get it from making other people’s
opinions more important now for those of
you who say yeah but I want approval and
I need it and if I don’t get it and so
on then understand this the people who
get the most approval in life are the
ones who care the least about it and the
ones who get the least approval are the
ones who are always going after it so if
you want approval in this paradoxical
way that I’m talking about it stop
needing it stop concerning yourself but
ask yourself who gets the most approval
in life think of the person that gets
the most approval and you’ll see that
that person couldn’t care less what
other people are thinking they’re so
busy being they don’t have time to
notice what their neighbors are doing a
row said this he said if you advance
confidently in the direction of your own
dreams and endeavor to live the life
which you have imagined you will meet
with a success unexpected in common
hours what that means is that success is
not something that you can get in life
success is an inner process success is
something that you bring to everything
you do in your life it isn’t something
you get out of what you do and when you
get that and you learn how to get the
junk out and advance confidently doing
what makes the most amount of sense to
you based on your inner signals and the
one issue of morality which is you never
interfere with anybody else’s right to
do the same each person has their own
right to advance confidently in the
direction of their own dreams and when
you violate that you’re violating the
principle of the universe the essence of
the universe which is cooperation
then success will begin to chase you and
it will come into your life and arrive
in your life in amounts that you never
dreamt of before that you never dreamt
up things will start happening to you
that you would never imagine before I’m
working on a book right now that’s gonna
be called you’ll see it when you believe
it when you start believing in some of
these principles you’ll start seeing
things that you were blind to for so
long when you were back here in the 2
and the 3 and the 4 and the 5 when you
were moving away from yourself as long
as you’re moving back towards your
Universal essence your harmony with
yourself your cooperation with the rest
things will start happening in ways that
you never dreamt up you called it
synchronicity and we as the term that we
use to explain how unexplainable
coincidences sort of happen in our life
and how come these things have I’m gonna
share a couple of those with you before
we leave
the the quality versus appearance in
your life means that you get that inner
candle flame working in a way that gives
you quality independent of what other
people think of you Maslow in defining
self actualizing no limit people said
they are independent of the good opinion
of other people of the good opinion of
other people independent of it they’re
so busy advancing confidently doing the
things that makes sense and bringing
success to changing their baby’s diaper
and bringing success to weeding their
garden and bringing it to the job they
bring it on the airplane so that when
they run into somebody who is who is
rude to them a stewardess that is rude
they don’t see it as an attack on them
it’s just where they are and they send
them love help them a little bit you
know they’re kind what somebody wants to
get in on the freeway and their one old
temptation when they were on the one to
the sick side was to say oh yeah
nobody’s getting in front of me I’m
getting there first it’s like it slowed
down a little bit they don’t have all
that type-a stuff of having to beat
somebody else and having to defeat
somebody it is it’s a new way of being
it’s a way of quality where you’re
harmony allows you to cooperate and you
are a part of what this whole thing is
about new way of being quality rather
than appearances another new way of
being very important living your life on
ethics rather than rules ethics rather
than rules all these rules all these
ways of having to do things somebody
else dictates to them do you know that
some of the most immoral acts in the
world have been perpetrated in the name
of the rules these are the laws what do
you think Nazi Germany was all about
everybody doing all these horrible
things to other people I’m only doing my
job was the defense we all heard at
Nuremberg I was just doing my job if
it’s an immoral rule it’s immoral to
obey it and self-actualizing people as
mezzo tells us have rules inside of them
that they could never open never disobey
ever
and they have to do with ethics how you
treat people how do you think we get to
where we are now you know who Rosa Parks
was the woman in the South the black
woman in the South who said not today
I’m not going to the back today no way I
know what the rules are the rules were
all over the place if you didn’t need if
you needed a reminder there were signs
every place colored in the back white in
the front and she said no I’m sitting
here and that made all the difference
ethics not rules when your children
start disobeying rules that need to be
disobeyed don’t be surprised when I was
in the service they had a policy on Guam
where I was stationed which would not
allow the Guamanian civilians to shop in
the PX in the Navy exchanges but they
did allow all other civilians to shop in
the Navy exchanges in pxs but if you
were Guamanian that is if your skin was
dark and your eyes were shaped a little
different than you couldn’t a clear
outright violation I was a servicemen I
was in the Navy as a communications
cryptographer they had a newspaper on
the Guam Daily News and it said an
there was a letter writing contest and
they offered $75 to the first prize
winner $75 this was 1961 that was a
fortune to me that was a month’s pay in
the Navy at that time almost so I
entered the contest and I knew I would
win it I had already written a novel at
that time a whole novel I had written
while I was on Guam I knew it wasn’t
gonna be a contest I felt sorry for the
other people entering it I knew I was
gonna win it unfortunately I didn’t
realize that when you’re in the service
and you have an opinion and you don’t
submit it to the chain of command that
you can be court-martialed for that so
the headlines on next week’s Guam Daily
News were u.s. sailor a sales policy of
discrimination big hot stuff all right
and I was called before a Vice Admiral
commander naval forces Marianas Islands
and threatened with a court-martial
because I had disobeyed the rules even
though the rule was immoral there are
lots of them like that and when I went
in and they threatened me with the
court-martial I told him this was my
battle plan I didn’t have Xerox machines
in those days so I had to get a lot of
carbon paper I wrote a letter to the
President John F Kennedy and I wrote a
letter to the Secretary of the Navy and
I wrote a letter I was my hometown was
Detroit I wrote a letter to the Detroit
News and a letter to the Detroit Free
Press telling them what was happening to
me as a result of just expressing my
opinion about an immoral act that was
going on over here on Guam and I showed
the naval
Vice Admiral my letters right there I
said I’ve only sent the one to the
these letters go to the newspapers
across the country there was one there
to the New York Times as well the Los
Angeles night it was and I just spread
them off before him I said if you
court-martial me punished me in any way
for this
and I’m prepared I’m ready I can handle
it and I was 20 years old 21
not only did I get a blessing from that
because all things come in blessings for
you I got out 90 days early and they
stamped on my record P I because the
president took it up and sent it to the
secretary must have I never heard from
him but I got
p.i on your record means political
influence and they don’t like anybody
with political influence abroad and as
soon as they saw that they said this is
somebody we probably will be giving a
discharge real soon
there was no clerk there was no court
marshal and in September of 1962 a brand
new policy was initiated on Guam which
allowed any civilian to shop in the Navy
exchanges and it came about as a result
of someone saying these rules are
immoral and therefore it’s immoral to
obey them new ways of being ethics
rather than rules and when your kids
want to know why how come these rules
are so stupid how come we have to do
this and encourage them to change that
my mother always did that she would have
to help me get out of the thought of the
messes that I got myself into because I
did it in my impetuous youth I would
just when they would say to me what’s
more important your job or school I was
just honest
since the paycheck of course that’s how
I felt in those days but what you do put
out in the world is exactly what’s going
back to you and if you find things
coming back to you that you don’t like
and don’t understand don’t ask yourself
why these things are coming to you ask
yourself what you’re doing to make them
come back to you and when you start
putting the responsibility on yourself
you’ll start seeing dramatic changes
dramatic changes a new way of being
instead of ethics instead of rules
ethics a new another new way of being
instead of looking all your life for
achievements and externals try living
your life on knowledge for the sake of
knowledge knowledge instead of
achievement for the sake of knowledge
being in a in a context in which you
don’t have to collect a lot of merit
badges you don’t have to collect a lot
of a lot of awards and other people’s
value judgments that you go to school or
you go out into the world or you read or
whatever it is you do because it makes
sense to you not because of what
somebody else is going to put on a
transcript or where you’re going to
appear in a class list we need to help
our children to understand and value the
importance of knowledge for the sake of
knowledge and doing things that make
sense rather than taking the easy way
knowledge rather than always trying to
achieve we’re in an achievement oriented
society which tells us that we evaluate
and judge a human being based upon how
many cheese achievements he has but most
of the people who get caught up in that
trap and are always in this circle of
trying to get ahead trying to always get
ahead their reward for that almost
always as higher blood pressure ulcers
early deaths and even things like cancer
were beginning to find out are related
to the kinds of stresses that we have
and remember it’s a perfect universe
there’s no stress in it
there’s only people thinking stressful
thoughts and when you put that pressure
on yourself to always achieve and get
ahead of the other guy you miss what
it’s really all about there’s nothing
wrong with goals it’s falling in love
with them that’s the problem it’s not
being able to be flexible and be all to
them if you have a goal to get here to
get $100,000 in the bank to get to this
promotion to get two cars in your garage
whatever it is that your goal is and
you’re on your way to that and you’re
always working at the goal all of this
stuff on your way to the goal it’s
called striving and that’s what you
learn
striving right it’s a very low level
place to be when you get to your goal
because all you’ve ever known is
striving you will just always suffer
from this disease called more you will
just upgrade your goal to $200,000 for
cars and two houses and another wife and
a younger one and and all of these kinds
of things if you have a goal and you
understand that every step along the way
is a present moment to enjoy and to live
then the goal won’t become any obsession
I don’t have any gold people ask me
where you’re gonna be five years from
now what are you gonna be doing what’s
next for you I just remember what
Lincoln said who to me was like the
greatest person who ever sat in that
White House he said I’ve never had a
policy he said I just tried to do what
made the greatest amount of sense each
and every day of my life as I was sat
there in the
and I think this there’s something
really significant in that that you
don’t have to get it all planned out and
follow a certain pattern and do it a
certain way if you just sort of trust
your inner instincts and go with that
and live each moment the gold stuff
we’ll all take care of itself
if you’re sacrificing and pushing your
life aside and suffering on your way to
trying to get someplace you’ll never get
there it will always elude you because
once you get there you’ll just have to
upgrade it and that’s because that’s all
you’ll know now this is that purest form
of sanity living in this moment and
enjoying it and all the rest of it will
sort of work its way out another new way
of being for me is to think of yourself
in terms of personal authority rather
than being an authoritarian personal
Authority a person who has authority
never needs to dominate anyone else ever
dominating doesn’t become necessary in
business you can have a thora the people
who have the most authority are the ones
who listen the most and the ones who are
the most conscientious about what do
other people have to say a person in a
relationship who has to dominate
somebody else and has to make the other
person submissive shows that they don’t
have Authority because they’re getting
their power not from within for
themselves but on the basis of who they
can control and that never lasts that
never lasts the only thing that lasts is
having inner power if you will know
thyself
that’s what Shakespeare said know
thyself the more you know yourself the
more you the more you become honest with
yourself
honesty becomes just a way of life no I
don’t think the world necessarily does
but you can’t run your world you can’t
run your world based upon what the rest
of the people in the world want or don’t
want to me honesty is like it’s a karma
that goes out into the world how people
treat you in the world is their Karma
how you react is yours and what when you
react to it with dishonesty that’s what
you’re putting out into the world
dishonesty and when you put this on
honesty out into the world
that’s what’s gonna come back to you
because what cosine is what comes back
at all as you sow so shall you reap I
mean it’s it’s in every great
institution that there is in the world
what whether it’s a religion or a
philosophy or whatever what you put out
is what comes back
whatever you plant is what you’re gonna
get back and the more that you put out
honesty just because it’s what you are
because you are being honesty you’re not
trying to be honest you’re just being
honesty then that’s what will come back
to you on a regular basis and when it
doesn’t you’ll just see that as another
test for you to pass and finally a fifth
way of being that is new for me it
because become a way of life
it’s called serenity instead of
acquisitions
the more you try to acquire the more you
try to get the more you try to collect
in your life and evaluate yourself on
the basis of that the less serenity
you’re going to have more is less it’s
almost a secret of the universe
serenity means inner peace means that
you can find joy in every moment that
you have in your life instead of always
looking for it it means that while you
are driving along the countryside you
know and seeing instead of saying this
is I’m on my way to this point that you
can open your eyes and see it with new
eyes you see the rolling Mound see the
grass see the deer see the sky see you
can just stop wherever you are in the
second wherever you are and just look
around you and you can begin to
appreciate just your and your
surroundings in your environment then
you can begin to appreciate the people
that are in your life and even the ones
that are negative and you’re having the
most difficulty with you can practice a
new way of being with them which is
sending them love sending them flowers
send them books enema tape send them
something and just see what kind of
reaction that you get super emotional
health it’s just an attitude an attitude
is everything
I want to summarize these new ways of
being and give you the most important
ingredient on the path as we leave I
said that it’s quality in your life to
be focusing on rather than appearances
in its ethics rather than rules on its
knowledge rather than achievement all
the time and it’s being personally an
authority on yourself rather than the
authoritarian and trying to be down on
it dominating someone else or to be
dominated and serenity which is the name
of my little Guevara my youngest
daughter Serena rather than acquisitions
and accumulations and trying to prove
yourself that way and when you get that
serenity which comes from the way that
you think
always then you will replace all of the
other junk
that keeps you back here between 6 & 1
on that clock and once you pass it once
you get passive you’ll never ever be
able to go back because the light living
in the light is a way of it’s a way of
being that if you’re not there you don’t
get it yet but once you see it and once
it begins to and take over your life you
can never go back that that is your
purpose
it isn’t your purpose isn’t to try to be
loving your purpose is to be loved and
only have that to give away well but
there’s one other ingredient and it’s
really crucial forgiveness is the vital
ingredient on the path of enlightenment
and if you don’t know how to do it and
practice sending out love take the
person or the people that you’re having
conflict with any place in your life
send them something you don’t have to
even do it physically just send them
something that comes from inside and
what’s inside is how you choose to think
and if you can make that love and do
that and that is to me the test not
whether you can love someone when they
smell good when they do everything that
you’re supposed to but whether you can
love someone who has sent you hate or
anguish in your life and send it back
you don’t have to forget you don’t have
to go back but you got to get it out of
you because it is blocking you and
holding you back and when I said you’ll
see it when you believe it
all my life I had wanted to write
fiction a parable 3 4 years ago I
decided to go off to Hawaii to Maui to
kind of poly beach and to write now the
books that had met the most difference
in my life were the little prince
candied Siddhartha Jonathan Livingston
Seagull illusions Alice Through the
Looking Glass Gulliver’s Travels
parables teaching parables stories that
can tell a message I went over to Maui
and I sat down on the beach and I’ve
been talking about writing this I’ve
been talking about doing this and it was
something that and I have a little girl
and her name is Skye SK ye I decided to
reverse the letters in her name
ey K s and put an eye in there which
symbolizes the self I kiss and I just
created this parable of a woman whose
name as I kiss who lives on another
planet the planet is Uranus and it’s a
duplicate mirror image of Earth only I
kiss can only see things as they are not
as we would like them to be and
therefore people are neurotic on Uranus
because they have to be she gives the
anxiety attack report if you will
because anxiety really does attack over
there and tell us about anxiety coming
in on the weekends and so on well my
visitor in my parable goes to Uranus
meets I guess she cannot understand as
he describes earth why people would be
neurotic by choice on earth why would
anybody be unhappy or depressed or
miserable when they don’t have one
anxiety doesn’t attack and when
elevators really don’t scare you and
when if you want a complex on Uranus oh
you want to give a complex to your wife
you go to the store and buy one and
she’s what happened well my husband gave
me a complan
oh it’s true whereas on earth if you
have a complex it’s because you’ve
chosen to have one she can’t figure it
out okay
so she comes here observes our people
and begins to see the secrets of the
universe and gives us these secrets
talks to the top leaders in our field
and that was my parable and I wrote it
she gives all of these wonderful secrets
some of which I’ve been talking about
here today what I want to tell you is
that my wife gave me a license plate and
the license plate says ICA’s okay it’s a
vanity plate and I was pumping gas on
federal highway in Fort Lauderdale
Florida and a little man from Greece
came up to me and he said but means this
fy8 which is how you say that in Greek I
said well that’s just a word it’s my
daughter’s name spelled backwards it’s a
parable that I wrote he said no he said
in Greek that’s a word
so what could that work be he said it
you’ll see it when you
the great big erroneous known the cosmic
erroneous own and you get this one he’ll
have it and understand
there is no
[Music] happiness is the way
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