my mom was sitting with her friends just
chatting and I was just about to go out
with my friends on that rare occasion
when we were allowed out and my mom
always looked at us and said oh looked
at me and said well that’s gone down and
I used to always turn around and say
whatever I’ll go out and pull it down
pull it up again but my mom’s friends
used to always tell her look at the
attitude that girl has and my mom being
very wise and very calm she’s to sit
there and say don’t worry the world will
deal with her and that’s so true because
if we think about it there are times
when the rug of life is pulled from
under our feet and we end up licking our
wounds for quite a long time it’s that
transition and that period of time that
we ask ourselves some very important
questions why me why is this happening
to me do I really need to fight for this
I was on holiday in California January
2012 we were driving down the Santa Rosa
highway happy to be on holiday when
suddenly we heard the loudest blast ever
and probably every vehicle in the
vicinity had come to a screeching halt
nobody knew why when we all got out of
the cars and we look down this
18-wheeler truck the driver had missed
the curve and just gone right over the
flyover into the valley below when he
looked down it was as though this was a
little toy truck and a great big man had
just stepped on it there was nothing
left of it but then soon our attention
was drawn to a BMW that the truck had
hit before going over the BMW was
hanging from one wheel on one pillar of
the flyover it was smashed the rear
doors was actually above the car and the
hole and the meat of the car had fallen
out in that car we’re a family Kelly
groves a 36 year old teacher her
daughter 10 year old sage and a 10 month
old baby milo from where I was standing
I could see Kelly’s feet hanging out of
the car from the driver’s seat I could
literally
feel that there was no hope at all these
were the firefighters the sheriff the
police he just rushed to the scene and I
heard them talking among each other I
heard them being on their wireless and
they all said there’s no hope we cannot
bring a crane on to this bridge because
the bridge is too weak it will not take
the weight no BMW and no car is built to
survive impact from an 18-wheeler there
is nothing that we can do when suddenly
I saw this guy from the fire service
jump up onto the ledge of the prior
world and he looked down at Kelly and he
said what is your name and she said she
was just screaming at first and then he
said you’ve got to tell me your name and
she said Kelly and he said then listen
to me you have to help me to save your
children your children understand and
know your voice they don’t know mine
your children will listen to you you
have got to help me to save them so I
need you to work with me I’m going to be
with you every step of the way but I
need you to find that strength you have
it you are a mother and you can help me
you know there is incredible power in us
reaching rock bottom why as story Robin
says that there are only two things in
our lives that help us to take momentous
steps and action in our lives and that
when Kelly put her hand back to touch
her daughter sage it came back covered
in blood and the firefighter said to her
don’t worry about it all I wanted to do
is to talk to your children and keep
them going so she said to her daughter
sage I’m just going to ask you if you’re
okay and I just want you to say one word
help and if you can say that to mommy I
know that you’re okay and she kept
saying help so we knew a sage was okay
but she was flattened in the car that
she couldn’t even raise her neck the
baby wasn’t responding at all I want to
when I was standing there and I couldn’t
get to see very much a thousand memory
splashed in my mind and I could remember
the time when I was in quite a similar
situation desperation we had by the
truckloads from the time I was a little
girl with my little system a lesson
that’s my mom in the picture and my
sister Vanessa
her lap and loves me on my mom’s
shoulder we didn’t have a house to stay
we didn’t have a place to stay we lived
under people stairs and their verandas
behind their houses wherever they wanted
to keep us wherever they allowed us and
then they told us to move on before I
came along into the world I got to know
that my parents had already lost four
children all before the ages of age of
six months to poverty and malnutrition
one after the other and twins Kimberly
and Alan were actually even buried in T
cases because we couldn’t even afford
coffins till this day as I stand before
you we do not know where they are
Barrett such was our condition these are
my parents that’s me in the middle the
chubby one with the fringe and that
Susan and me Susan was the last child to
be born in the family and when she was
brought home my mother placed her on the
bed and said the doctors have given her
three days to live she doesn’t have a
chance be nice to her because she’s not
gonna make it but I look to turn I loved
her little fingers and toes and he
thought no we have to we have to help
her she is going to make it but just
like it was it was so difficult for us
to move from under the stairs and we
thought we are moving to you know a
proper house but we moved to slum but to
give you an idea very quickly around
3,000 people are more shared three
toilets and that’s where i grew up we
grew up there was hardly any electricity
we had to fill water from a tube well
the toilets were never clean the place
was running with women but that’s where
we grew up there were many people in the
area just like the fire services and a
sheriff and the police who helped Kelly
and her children there were very many
people who have
to us these are people who help people
every day of their lives person on the
left is a tea shop guy I used to go to
this man with the little ball in my hand
every day and ask him for a little milk
and say you can save my sister’s life
and of course he is to dilute the milk
but every day he gave me that bowl of
milk and every day I brought it home and
fed that milked Susan pressing her
cheeks together and feeding it to her
with a teaspoon bit by bit like it you
know wherever I speak and no matter
where I go I always say to people that I
have been brought up in utter
desperation but i’ve also been brought
up by parents who inspired us never to
ever believe that we were any less in
the words of my Angelo I can be changed
by my circumstances but I refuse to be
reduced by it and we can use stepping
stones to our success we can either take
misery and allow it to consumers oh we
can use resilience to propel us it is
always a choice you know as I stand here
before you as a speaker I can tell you
that I have been locked in a toilet with
hundreds and hundreds of cockroaches
every single evening when it was dark as
a punishment from one of my mom’s
friends I can tell you that I brought up
a little baby sister who was just three
days a lot with nothing and no health my
my father had to go to work and my
mother went out in search of other help
I have lived through some very very
traumatic circumstances and yet I found
it in me to find my voice and to share
my story and I tell people that you know
this because we have something called a
cotton mouth syndrome which is when you
get up here you feel like your mouth is
full of quarter you’ve got to
you’re so nervous you know but actually
you have to understand that my friends
may have told me Jillian you’re going to
be great and my sisters may have said
you know what you can do it but when I
stand up here I don’t have any of those
hands holding me I have me and my
irrepressible mind the part of me that
makes me act the part of me that tells
me that I can do things that I am
capable of better you know this is just
some of the things that we can do to
develop an irrepressible mind but we can
also self talk it is a highly effective
technique just talking so many of you
will never ever faced trauma like Kelly
and children my associate many of you
might never face desperation as myself
and my family did so what you need is
inspiration and you can actually talk
yourself into that start with small
things every time you feel that
something is hard and you have reached a
very low point please fight through it
because every little step will turn
those neurological connections into
neurological pathways and those pathways
will find whether they are the pathways
of success or destruction but you have
got to work on it if anyone one of you
have read the book the our players who
talks about the 10,000 hour rule so with
anything whether it’s a skill or a
thought or an action we need to keep up
rapid
you need to understand that we work by
the power of repetition as iris total
clearly says to win any battle in life
and now with the population the
competition is at its peak we have to
understand that the way to win is to
understand that every time you fall down
you make sure that you get up again this
time fight harder this is what Kelly’s
car was when it was brought over it was
but what did we what can be learned from
this did they survive did the family
make it they didn’t date my know came
out with just a scratch because she had
gone to sleep and she doesn’t even know
what happened sage was badly injured I’m
absolutely fine when they took her to
hospital she was definitely on the road
to recovery and Kelly had her whole
pelvis in pieces but she to survive to
tell the day and they admit most of the
team who helped them survive but well
the name is Denise actually saved her
and you can look up story Google when
the Navy Seabees saved her family and
helped them they were told thank you for
what you did for him and he said no no
she say it torture it was her resilience
of mine it was her in a strength that
made it true nothing would have helped
let my sister Susan make it after being
given up by the country the community
and even the doctor yes she did indeed
she graduated she got married in
Australia and that’s how did he go to
Samantha in the money did I make it I
had an impossible dream coming from
abject poverty I had an impossible for
you my dream it’s always just to help a
little I just wanted to help everybody
who came my way today I have six
charities I think the children the agent
women in need disabled the sick and we
have six teams round-the-clock working
with these people and helping them
twenty-four seven my dream has
definitely come true as well because I
found that in a strength and I believed
when my bearings said to me it’s not
what’s happening to you today it’s what
is inside you that matters you have that
capability don’t forget it so yes my
book and my story won the Best
Screenplay award in the African
historical category at the wonderful
film festival well it’s also being
turned into a Hollywood production and
into a liquid into a theater but you
don’t want it doesn’t impress me I’m not
that interested everyone seems to ask me
are you excited about the movie who i’m
not i’m really not because that was not
my passion my passion is exposing people
to help them to understand that they
have impressible mind this power to
stand up every time they fall down and
that is going to make them over there in
my own way i only changed when i was
really and truly put to the test when I
think was Bill Gates who said if you’re
born poor it’s not your heart but if you
died well it is your fault I believed
that but I was tested and I can tell you
one time that it is only when we are
tested that we discover our true
potential and we realize who we really
and truly can be that person that you
want to be is right there somewhere it
but only time it’s on the other side of
very hard work of deciding to use the
power of repetition every time you fall
down to get up again and to be stronger
and the last time and to have a mind
that is unwilling to relent so in line
with your team today that takes two to
tango please let it be you and your
[Applause] [Music]