[Music]
my mother um she’s a sudden woman from
the Virginia area and I’m what I found
out later and I’m I only can remember
for a small period of some small real
small increment of my life that I lived
in bedford-stuyvesant in the early
middle 70s eventually we had to move we
were evicted we had to leave the house
all of our friends would really politely
decorated the concrete outside so we had
to me my brother I guess we had to sit
on the furniture the way to my mother
can give a play so we discussed to stay
and it was just after that was pretty
much hard times welfare when we walked
around we which was a much more
aggressive neighborhood and it just
wasn’t good it was just some
crime-infested drug-infested
neighborhood and it was very aggressive
and my mother had know a lot of men her
enough friends know a lot of men there
wouldn’t be um it wouldn’t be a normal
for me to uh come from one of my friends
house becoming outsider a man and the
woman is in my one of my mother’s room I
my mother’s in a row on a man in a woman
and we can’t go in the room but we have
to stay outside in the kitchen perhaps
of the living room we can’t go in the
back of the room until I finish
[Music]
and that’s just how our life’s been and
as time went on I’ve learned tongue to
what people were in the back that I
would um and they fell asleep I will go
in their pockets and take their money
and that’s just how it’s been that’s
just what it was all about I learned how
to steal at a younger younger younger my
mother friends were in the house they
were drinking I went to go in their
house and the fights came and robbed the
house where they were downstairs
drinking with my mother and that’s just
some swelling to do
[Music]
I had gum I would fall a great
perception if it came from my street
life from being locked up from stealing
and facing unbelievable are the young
kid had great perception and once I
watched this guy fight I just knew it
was a matter of time but I know of them
my time will soon come
[Music]
I know I would have to paint my goal
before it existed I knew that I knew I
would be champ of the world before I
died I know I wasn’t gonna die before I
became champ you know
dying is just as glorious as living when
you really think about it
because you couldn’t have a life if you
didn’t have death and you can’t have
death without life so how can death be
less glorious in life they both wanted
intertwine with one another
[Music]
yeah they used to bullying in school and
so I never went back to school so well
my mother sent me to school I would yes
we will hanging around the school
walking around the school and this is
you know normally we have security guard
the truant officer they see me I would
take off and run
I hide in the building I bet in the
building but I’m normally um my
mother-in-law wasn’t going to school
then I met some guys one day and they
did the food too ripping me off and they
really they have no money
and then I’m but on lunch time I used to
go in school eating lunch and then leave
school again so I’m smoking what happens
meatballs and spaghetti so um one time
these guys um they wanted to rip me off
and I had no money today actually do you
want to fly birds with me so I said what
do you mean did you want to fly with us
and then I realized that the M it took
me this abandoned building but they
wanted me to get my milk the milk
climbed the fence and throw milk crates
over to them and I didn’t understand why
they wanted to milk crates but I did it
anyway because kind of scared but and
then they had to go to this abandoned
building I didn’t know what there wasn’t
me in that building you know so when I
want to be I throw on the roof to have
pigeons and then after that I never went
to the UM I never went to school again
once I found that had a pigeon coop and
I could beat these guys flunky then go
to the store for them and if the birds
will Harbor in horrible conditions for
the birds will fly for a little while
and land on another roof and then make
me get up and go on that roof shootings
get the bird off the roof so I would go
to all these rules that the lady birds
flew on and scare the birds off hoping
that they would go back to the roof
where the guys were and I thought that
pretty cool because I saw one and
because at least somebody wanted me to
do something for so the next day instead
of go back around walking around school
I went to the pigeon coop and the guy
saw me and he said excuse me young man
they said what the fuck are you doing
and they started throwing works at me
and while they were on the roof and I
said hey hey I just came around and see
guys need me to do anything for y’all
today like help with the birds or go to
the store for you that’s all but they
had thought that I was coming back
around and steal their birds
I had no concept of stealing birds back
then I went someplace to hang out
instead of walking around the streets
all day and some weird guy be asking me
to get in the car and suck your dick I
let them suck my biggest son when I was
outside of waiting for school to come
out of waiting for the lunch to appear
so I will be on the roof with these guys
who I didn’t know who might have killed
me also right so um this year go and
then they throw down some occultist or
get some stickers and get a knee-high
solder after don’t bricks at me you know
it’s our goal stiff and so the guys go
like this school is over and stuff but
they tell me um we going to the center
tonight we’re going to go to them after
school center this is where I don’t know
poverty is choking people people living
the prizes we have a center there your
Center and they go to end their playing
is I mean they got a jam in the center
so we’re going to go to the center and
so um oh man I’m listening so that’s
okay I want to go to can I go and I say
okay yeah sure you can come but I’m I’m
a young cadet no concept of you have to
wash yeah and so when I went to the
semis all fuck
I still have the bird show me if I still
have the bird shit of all the stuff
guitar I stopped from getting the
pinnacle hoping to build a coupe so you
know we have tar paper so we had to put
tar to put the tar people in the pool
when we go back I never went home and
washed I had the same clothes I had all
of you and when I went to the kids that
was on the roof that brought me to him
they all had new clothes on and they all
laughed at me and everybody felt
laughingly and I was skin and bad
laughter laughing – and one of the guys
that was on the roof he had said um what
the fuck you dirty little motherfucker
with you come around here look like this
in general wash and he said you better
meet me at the most leaving tomorrow
motherfucker meeting after roof with a
burglar you met me today even though
that guy wasn’t his pigeon but he was
there he was looking for one of those
other guy his brother he was older you
can meet me at the roof you hear me sure
they meet me at the fucking picnic where
you were today and I’m when I’m a
schmuck I’m like else schmuck oh so um I
want to I met him early in the morning
just like we’re going to school so I met
him at the pigeon coop and snowman and
from then on me and him started robbing
houses if I was younger than him so he
would tell me to knock on the door by
knock on the door and if someone comes
over say you’re looking for this guy
here give me a Jewish name listen I’ll
give me something he is knew what to say
the right stuff of what neighborhoods
and um I didn’t know I didn’t then they
found on the way there he would pick the
locks he wept he picked the locks
we were going every wrong with my money
guns Jimmy it was just why I was just
such a Rus being into my house and you
see them that luxury and it’s yours and
I’m he didn’t give me much money but he
bought me a lot of clankers and clothes
he said you go back to the center
looking like this don’t forget you hear
me motherfuckers over looking like this
and then I went to that Center than
those are
it was a whole different up it was
totally different and they used to call
me dirty Mike dirty Ike and it wasn’t
because I had bad cold always has the
best clothes but I always had was on the
pigeon come I always got him dirty and
paw and I would never change my clothes
and wear I would never do that I would
never change my clothes to put on some
raggedy clothes and be seen and raggedy
clothes because I’ve been traumatized
from that experience when I went to the
the daycares and after school center so
I’ve always just wear my nice clothes on
the pinnacle and they always get dirty
and I would just go home and change
changing some new nice clothes you know
this time till this day I’m the same
well with me should I have nice clothes
on no matter where I go I’m playing with
pigeons as I’m playing soccer I’m
picking up the garbage and it’s just hum
I might just have been the scholar mean
system guys just humiliated me anything
makeup even though the street kids and I
would come weather like a tough day I
never had the ego I was never really
jealous of anybody I never really
thought most of myself much of myself
but when I met cousin so I was talking
to cus I’m he made me believe that I was
a god they made me believe that I’m
Frances consul faded now to cuffs cuz
the saying are you till you hear this
cuz cuz I had a really problem I had
this really um megalomania ego say let
me tell you something all the prophets
all the gods you ever know about if they
had a son that something beat my fighter
know why cause he’s my fighter
mm I was a young kid I was getting put
on the front cover of maybe Ring
Magazine at the time a big time magazine
it was could’ve been Sports Illustrated
but one of these magazines I got put on
the magazine and it was a bunch of
cameras around then I was feeling myself
I was while smiling laughs with the guys
like oh the big shot and then right
after that cus said I’m grabbed a broom
a mop and sweep clean the gym
and I whoa and that’s just what I had to
do you know I used to do my place with
him it’s still my place
you know they think I would say with
other people I would never say with him
you only had to call me one time and I
will be there it was never like hey beat
in a minute I wanted to make us proud
I was with my whole existence for fine I
want to make them proud I never know
what I would like to have a fighter I’m
little skinny a father so now I
understand what some kids might feel
when they can’t make their fathers happy
because he would do anything for me
I was just some element I don’t think
that way now I was just um I was just
disappointed that it kills them back
then because that was just my main
objective because I wanted to succeed so
bad and I was held and um the fear of
not succeeding was worse than dying so I
just wanted to make sure they never got
up and I’m at any fight someone said
something negative about me his old man
he would attack them you won’t let
nobody Lao any negativity to even sleep
through my arm he speaks to my psychic
everything was that I’m I’m invincible
my fabric I’m ferocious smarter savage I
don’t even think that way anymore
even Lee from fighting was um your
opponent surrender his total destruction
and he then think of it as um even
though he said it with savage and
ferociously you had to do with it in
such a relaxed and calm state you know
without any emotions that’s what he was
all about you know I mean a really
scientific way of destroying to be in PR
him Wow
he enjoyed hurting the opponent he wants
them to never have a chance to believe
they compete you know it wasn’t about
anything our whole life wasn’t about
making money wasn’t about being rich it
was about um and then weighing the
planet could beat us that was everything
my whole life is best fight in the world
best light in the world there’s nobody
on the planet that could be my could be
anybody in a plant and a fair fight and
that’s what I always believed you know I
know he would dream think about that now
but just to be in that state of mind I
could be anybody that I’m not one day
after this and I’m went through her I’m
so I’m so happy that I don’t think that
way anymore I was having an interview
and I and I start thinking about cooks
because it’s pretty you know arrogant
and custard and I said what a customer
that’s it I was being interviewed and I
said how many people in the plough many
people in this planet after what around
five billion people six billion I
thought could be every one of them in a
fair fight and that’s what I believed at
the time
but this guy always tell me says I’m on
my mind to get the better of me your
mind you don’t have your mind on your
work you’re not being discipline he
really really knew that he always
believed that his mind could heal
anything
he believed if he had cancer is mine
Cahill can’t he was a strong believer
that your body only purpose was to cover
your brain you know he was just some
amazing
[Music]
I respect the person who’s willing to
die for what he truly wants even if it’s
love even this is a woman whatever is it
that he truly believed in and that I
believe that he he um it transcends him
to that um then leveled to UM demand for
lovely sensitive for instance um I look
at love as a command to just rise to
your greatest potential you know and
that’s how people should feel the
objective should be derived to the best
potential in life if it’s to lose thirty
pounds if it’s the passive test it
should be um to win a fight the to be
admired by people all over the world it
should allow you to rise to your
greatest potential don’t you look at
yourself in the most grandest fashion
[Music]
I’ve never um I’m never um I would never
able to understand the concept of
greatness
I just never was able to understand that
concept of greatness and as time went on
and I’ve gotten older and I’ve um I’ve
met many journeys on people that I met
on my journey and people who I’ve read
about on my journey I read that um all
greatness
the majority of greatness in the self
doesn’t come with goodness the two don’t
coexist with one another and I spent all
my life trying to become great because I
have such a low self-esteem and and I
realized I’m late in life well
thankfully fail the late in my life that
I’m all great men are not good man and
then so I try to embark on a whole
different career and try to become good
but what’s the concept of good being a
floor mat I never said understood the
concept of good so how do we live in
those two dimensions at once you want
that greatness for self gratification
but you want goodness from a human
perspective and I and I really have no
idea no clue how though I am how do I
juggle both of them and be in harmony
and then in all actuality they don’t
exist you would have to pick a side
[Music]
[Music]
the lion in the Fox you know me I call
so I could beat the vicious guys and I
got was smarter slicksters so I was um
I’m pretty much died deck – and after
that apartment pretty much but the what
really was um the turning point is that
there was nobody that could reach the
core like us could
no one could I’m inspired me
I don’t know I don’t think it’s that
amazing I’m the things I say I don’t
think this profound is what many people
may think is the fire you think about my
feelings of what I felt at the
particular moment you know I know I
always had I always had a very arm
complex life and I always have it I
never had a good psychological opinion
about myself and that’s because of my
upbringing and my um my view on my life
and my view on this um my whole
barometer as a person and so I um I
never grasped that um that love of that
I that particular identity of myself
[Music]
I gave my all fighting arm it’s time to
give it up it’s time to stop them let go
and let God I did all I can do humanly
and now it was time for me to let God
leave the way
[Music]
I say well I’m responsible now I have to
be pregnant for my family and my
children but when I’m when that feeling
comes you know you have no control over
it I might want to die tomorrow you know
and that’s just what it is
and that’s how my mind works maybe
something may have me I might get into I
might um get into an argument myself in
my head I might want to die tomorrow and
I might want to live I might kill myself
already um I don’t know how that goes
you know um maybe I want to die because
I want to know what it’s like to die I
want to know if it’s just dark like when
you have one of those dead sleeps and
you you wake up and you wouldn’t know if
you were dead or not if you didn’t wake
up so um I don’t know I don’t know what
I want to do is go right now I want to
live and experience license and I don’t
know what life has in store for me but
I’m not afraid to find out
I’m not trying to even the score I’m
moving on to other places which are
probably talking places I’ve never been
before but I’m not afraid to go there
I’m not afraid I’m I’m not afraid I’m
losing life I’m not afraid to doing me I
won’t do anything that’s like I won’t do
anything that’s like like my show
there’s nothing I would do unless I have
one possibility of being humiliated if I
can’t be humiliated on if I fail I don’t
want to do it because only by doing that
I would rise to my highest potential
without what the fact that I might be
humiliated and I don’t want that to
happen but when it does happen then I
will truly be humiliated because when I
succeed I truly succeed and that’s why
I’m here with you
[Music]
I’ve always felt comfort from my pigeons
no matter where I live always have them
and I’ve collected special breeds of
pigeon
they’re called roller pigeons Sir
Anthony Hopkins played Hannibal Lecter
in that great movie he talked about them
do you know that a roller pigeon is you
know what a roller pigeon is Bonnie
they claim they climb high and fat and
they roll over and fall justice just as
fast towards the earth there are stairs
stairs shallow rollers and there are
deep rolling
you can breathe too deep rollers or the
young ruler will roll all the way down
and hit and die it is no surprise that I
have an affinity for rollers it is
really something it is really something
to watch some fly high-end and all them
and then all the other birds they fly
hiding all the other big birds way up on
the top of the sky and the Queen the
clouds and they just roll and roll and
roll down and if they’re lucky they pull
out in time before they crash and
headfirst into the ground the rollers
who are the offsprings of two pairs of
deep rollers can do that they wrote so
fast that they create a suction and they
can’t open their wings and sticks and if
they explode on impact and looks at
rific to us but this but if um we put
ourselves and we put ourselves into the
heart of that bird there’s nothing like
that feeling plumb luring down and
rolling it is a smorgasbord of endurance
and endorphins and adult fermion and a
drilling adrenaline and a little like
snorting coke and drinking Hennessy
while being hooked up in the morphine
drip both of my parents with these
rollers I was bred to climb high and
high into the sky and tumble down I am
truly grateful that I found my wings
before I hit the ground
you
my mother um she’s a sudden woman from
the Virginia area and I’m what I found
out later and I’m I only can remember
for a small period of some small real
small increment of my life that I lived
in bedford-stuyvesant in the early
middle 70s eventually we had to move we
were evicted we had to leave the house
all of our friends would really politely
decorated the concrete outside so we had
to me my brother I guess we had to sit
on the furniture the way to my mother
can give a play so we discussed to stay
and it was just after that was pretty
much hard times welfare when we walked
around we which was a much more
aggressive neighborhood and it just
wasn’t good it was just some
crime-infested drug-infested
neighborhood and it was very aggressive
and my mother had know a lot of men her
enough friends know a lot of men there
wouldn’t be um it wouldn’t be a normal
for me to uh come from one of my friends
house becoming outsider a man and the
woman is in my one of my mother’s room I
my mother’s in a row on a man in a woman
and we can’t go in the room but we have
to stay outside in the kitchen perhaps
of the living room we can’t go in the
back of the room until I finish
[Music]
and that’s just how our life’s been and
as time went on I’ve learned tongue to
what people were in the back that I
would um and they fell asleep I will go
in their pockets and take their money
and that’s just how it’s been that’s
just what it was all about I learned how
to steal at a younger younger younger my
mother friends were in the house they
were drinking I went to go in their
house and the fights came and robbed the
house where they were downstairs
drinking with my mother and that’s just
some swelling to do
[Music]
I had gum I would fall a great
perception if it came from my street
life from being locked up from stealing
and facing unbelievable are the young
kid had great perception and once I
watched this guy fight I just knew it
was a matter of time but I know of them
my time will soon come
[Music]
I know I would have to paint my goal
before it existed I knew that I knew I
would be champ of the world before I
died I know I wasn’t gonna die before I
became champ you know
dying is just as glorious as living when
you really think about it
because you couldn’t have a life if you
didn’t have death and you can’t have
death without life so how can death be
less glorious in life they both wanted
intertwine with one another
[Music]
yeah they used to bullying in school and
so I never went back to school so well
my mother sent me to school I would yes
we will hanging around the school
walking around the school and this is
you know normally we have security guard
the truant officer they see me I would
take off and run
I hide in the building I bet in the
building but I’m normally um my
mother-in-law wasn’t going to school
then I met some guys one day and they
did the food too ripping me off and they
really they have no money
and then I’m but on lunch time I used to
go in school eating lunch and then leave
school again so I’m smoking what happens
meatballs and spaghetti so um one time
these guys um they wanted to rip me off
and I had no money today actually do you
want to fly birds with me so I said what
do you mean did you want to fly with us
and then I realized that the M it took
me this abandoned building but they
wanted me to get my milk the milk
climbed the fence and throw milk crates
over to them and I didn’t understand why
they wanted to milk crates but I did it
anyway because kind of scared but and
then they had to go to this abandoned
building I didn’t know what there wasn’t
me in that building you know so when I
want to be I throw on the roof to have
pigeons and then after that I never went
to the UM I never went to school again
once I found that had a pigeon coop and
I could beat these guys flunky then go
to the store for them and if the birds
will Harbor in horrible conditions for
the birds will fly for a little while
and land on another roof and then make
me get up and go on that roof shootings
get the bird off the roof so I would go
to all these rules that the lady birds
flew on and scare the birds off hoping
that they would go back to the roof
where the guys were and I thought that
pretty cool because I saw one and
because at least somebody wanted me to
do something for so the next day instead
of go back around walking around school
I went to the pigeon coop and the guy
saw me and he said excuse me young man
they said what the fuck are you doing
and they started throwing works at me
and while they were on the roof and I
said hey hey I just came around and see
guys need me to do anything for y’all
today like help with the birds or go to
the store for you that’s all but they
had thought that I was coming back
around and steal their birds
I had no concept of stealing birds back
then I went someplace to hang out
instead of walking around the streets
all day and some weird guy be asking me
to get in the car and suck your dick I
let them suck my biggest son when I was
outside of waiting for school to come
out of waiting for the lunch to appear
so I will be on the roof with these guys
who I didn’t know who might have killed
me also right so um this year go and
then they throw down some occultist or
get some stickers and get a knee-high
solder after don’t bricks at me you know
it’s our goal stiff and so the guys go
like this school is over and stuff but
they tell me um we going to the center
tonight we’re going to go to them after
school center this is where I don’t know
poverty is choking people people living
the prizes we have a center there your
Center and they go to end their playing
is I mean they got a jam in the center
so we’re going to go to the center and
so um oh man I’m listening so that’s
okay I want to go to can I go and I say
okay yeah sure you can come but I’m I’m
a young cadet no concept of you have to
wash yeah and so when I went to the
semis all fuck
I still have the bird show me if I still
have the bird shit of all the stuff
guitar I stopped from getting the
pinnacle hoping to build a coupe so you
know we have tar paper so we had to put
tar to put the tar people in the pool
when we go back I never went home and
washed I had the same clothes I had all
of you and when I went to the kids that
was on the roof that brought me to him
they all had new clothes on and they all
laughed at me and everybody felt
laughingly and I was skin and bad
laughter laughing – and one of the guys
that was on the roof he had said um what
the fuck you dirty little motherfucker
with you come around here look like this
in general wash and he said you better
meet me at the most leaving tomorrow
motherfucker meeting after roof with a
burglar you met me today even though
that guy wasn’t his pigeon but he was
there he was looking for one of those
other guy his brother he was older you
can meet me at the roof you hear me sure
they meet me at the fucking picnic where
you were today and I’m when I’m a
schmuck I’m like else schmuck oh so um I
want to I met him early in the morning
just like we’re going to school so I met
him at the pigeon coop and snowman and
from then on me and him started robbing
houses if I was younger than him so he
would tell me to knock on the door by
knock on the door and if someone comes
over say you’re looking for this guy
here give me a Jewish name listen I’ll
give me something he is knew what to say
the right stuff of what neighborhoods
and um I didn’t know I didn’t then they
found on the way there he would pick the
locks he wept he picked the locks
we were going every wrong with my money
guns Jimmy it was just why I was just
such a Rus being into my house and you
see them that luxury and it’s yours and
I’m he didn’t give me much money but he
bought me a lot of clankers and clothes
he said you go back to the center
looking like this don’t forget you hear
me motherfuckers over looking like this
and then I went to that Center than
those are
it was a whole different up it was
totally different and they used to call
me dirty Mike dirty Ike and it wasn’t
because I had bad cold always has the
best clothes but I always had was on the
pigeon come I always got him dirty and
paw and I would never change my clothes
and wear I would never do that I would
never change my clothes to put on some
raggedy clothes and be seen and raggedy
clothes because I’ve been traumatized
from that experience when I went to the
the daycares and after school center so
I’ve always just wear my nice clothes on
the pinnacle and they always get dirty
and I would just go home and change
changing some new nice clothes you know
this time till this day I’m the same
well with me should I have nice clothes
on no matter where I go I’m playing with
pigeons as I’m playing soccer I’m
picking up the garbage and it’s just hum
I might just have been the scholar mean
system guys just humiliated me anything
makeup even though the street kids and I
would come weather like a tough day I
never had the ego I was never really
jealous of anybody I never really
thought most of myself much of myself
but when I met cousin so I was talking
to cus I’m he made me believe that I was
a god they made me believe that I’m
Frances consul faded now to cuffs cuz
the saying are you till you hear this
cuz cuz I had a really problem I had
this really um megalomania ego say let
me tell you something all the prophets
all the gods you ever know about if they
had a son that something beat my fighter
know why cause he’s my fighter
mm I was a young kid I was getting put
on the front cover of maybe Ring
Magazine at the time a big time magazine
it was could’ve been Sports Illustrated
but one of these magazines I got put on
the magazine and it was a bunch of
cameras around then I was feeling myself
I was while smiling laughs with the guys
like oh the big shot and then right
after that cus said I’m grabbed a broom
a mop and sweep clean the gym
and I whoa and that’s just what I had to
do you know I used to do my place with
him it’s still my place
you know they think I would say with
other people I would never say with him
you only had to call me one time and I
will be there it was never like hey beat
in a minute I wanted to make us proud
I was with my whole existence for fine I
want to make them proud I never know
what I would like to have a fighter I’m
little skinny a father so now I
understand what some kids might feel
when they can’t make their fathers happy
because he would do anything for me
I was just some element I don’t think
that way now I was just um I was just
disappointed that it kills them back
then because that was just my main
objective because I wanted to succeed so
bad and I was held and um the fear of
not succeeding was worse than dying so I
just wanted to make sure they never got
up and I’m at any fight someone said
something negative about me his old man
he would attack them you won’t let
nobody Lao any negativity to even sleep
through my arm he speaks to my psychic
everything was that I’m I’m invincible
my fabric I’m ferocious smarter savage I
don’t even think that way anymore
even Lee from fighting was um your
opponent surrender his total destruction
and he then think of it as um even
though he said it with savage and
ferociously you had to do with it in
such a relaxed and calm state you know
without any emotions that’s what he was
all about you know I mean a really
scientific way of destroying to be in PR
him Wow
he enjoyed hurting the opponent he wants
them to never have a chance to believe
they compete you know it wasn’t about
anything our whole life wasn’t about
making money wasn’t about being rich it
was about um and then weighing the
planet could beat us that was everything
my whole life is best fight in the world
best light in the world there’s nobody
on the planet that could be my could be
anybody in a plant and a fair fight and
that’s what I always believed you know I
know he would dream think about that now
but just to be in that state of mind I
could be anybody that I’m not one day
after this and I’m went through her I’m
so I’m so happy that I don’t think that
way anymore I was having an interview
and I and I start thinking about cooks
because it’s pretty you know arrogant
and custard and I said what a customer
that’s it I was being interviewed and I
said how many people in the plough many
people in this planet after what around
five billion people six billion I
thought could be every one of them in a
fair fight and that’s what I believed at
the time
but this guy always tell me says I’m on
my mind to get the better of me your
mind you don’t have your mind on your
work you’re not being discipline he
really really knew that he always
believed that his mind could heal
anything
he believed if he had cancer is mine
Cahill can’t he was a strong believer
that your body only purpose was to cover
your brain you know he was just some
amazing
[Music]
I respect the person who’s willing to
die for what he truly wants even if it’s
love even this is a woman whatever is it
that he truly believed in and that I
believe that he he um it transcends him
to that um then leveled to UM demand for
lovely sensitive for instance um I look
at love as a command to just rise to
your greatest potential you know and
that’s how people should feel the
objective should be derived to the best
potential in life if it’s to lose thirty
pounds if it’s the passive test it
should be um to win a fight the to be
admired by people all over the world it
should allow you to rise to your
greatest potential don’t you look at
yourself in the most grandest fashion
[Music]
I’ve never um I’m never um I would never
able to understand the concept of
greatness
I just never was able to understand that
concept of greatness and as time went on
and I’ve gotten older and I’ve um I’ve
met many journeys on people that I met
on my journey and people who I’ve read
about on my journey I read that um all
greatness
the majority of greatness in the self
doesn’t come with goodness the two don’t
coexist with one another and I spent all
my life trying to become great because I
have such a low self-esteem and and I
realized I’m late in life well
thankfully fail the late in my life that
I’m all great men are not good man and
then so I try to embark on a whole
different career and try to become good
but what’s the concept of good being a
floor mat I never said understood the
concept of good so how do we live in
those two dimensions at once you want
that greatness for self gratification
but you want goodness from a human
perspective and I and I really have no
idea no clue how though I am how do I
juggle both of them and be in harmony
and then in all actuality they don’t
exist you would have to pick a side
[Music]
[Music]
the lion in the Fox you know me I call
so I could beat the vicious guys and I
got was smarter slicksters so I was um
I’m pretty much died deck – and after
that apartment pretty much but the what
really was um the turning point is that
there was nobody that could reach the
core like us could
no one could I’m inspired me
I don’t know I don’t think it’s that
amazing I’m the things I say I don’t
think this profound is what many people
may think is the fire you think about my
feelings of what I felt at the
particular moment you know I know I
always had I always had a very arm
complex life and I always have it I
never had a good psychological opinion
about myself and that’s because of my
upbringing and my um my view on my life
and my view on this um my whole
barometer as a person and so I um I
never grasped that um that love of that
I that particular identity of myself
[Music]
I gave my all fighting arm it’s time to
give it up it’s time to stop them let go
and let God I did all I can do humanly
and now it was time for me to let God
leave the way
[Music]
I say well I’m responsible now I have to
be pregnant for my family and my
children but when I’m when that feeling
comes you know you have no control over
it I might want to die tomorrow you know
and that’s just what it is
and that’s how my mind works maybe
something may have me I might get into I
might um get into an argument myself in
my head I might want to die tomorrow and
I might want to live I might kill myself
already um I don’t know how that goes
you know um maybe I want to die because
I want to know what it’s like to die I
want to know if it’s just dark like when
you have one of those dead sleeps and
you you wake up and you wouldn’t know if
you were dead or not if you didn’t wake
up so um I don’t know I don’t know what
I want to do is go right now I want to
live and experience license and I don’t
know what life has in store for me but
I’m not afraid to find out
I’m not trying to even the score I’m
moving on to other places which are
probably talking places I’ve never been
before but I’m not afraid to go there
I’m not afraid I’m I’m not afraid I’m
losing life I’m not afraid to doing me I
won’t do anything that’s like I won’t do
anything that’s like like my show
there’s nothing I would do unless I have
one possibility of being humiliated if I
can’t be humiliated on if I fail I don’t
want to do it because only by doing that
I would rise to my highest potential
without what the fact that I might be
humiliated and I don’t want that to
happen but when it does happen then I
will truly be humiliated because when I
succeed I truly succeed and that’s why
I’m here with you
[Music]
I’ve always felt comfort from my pigeons
no matter where I live always have them
and I’ve collected special breeds of
pigeon
they’re called roller pigeons Sir
Anthony Hopkins played Hannibal Lecter
in that great movie he talked about them
do you know that a roller pigeon is you
know what a roller pigeon is Bonnie
they claim they climb high and fat and
they roll over and fall justice just as
fast towards the earth there are stairs
stairs shallow rollers and there are
deep rolling
you can breathe too deep rollers or the
young ruler will roll all the way down
and hit and die it is no surprise that I
have an affinity for rollers it is
really something it is really something
to watch some fly high-end and all them
and then all the other birds they fly
hiding all the other big birds way up on
the top of the sky and the Queen the
clouds and they just roll and roll and
roll down and if they’re lucky they pull
out in time before they crash and
headfirst into the ground the rollers
who are the offsprings of two pairs of
deep rollers can do that they wrote so
fast that they create a suction and they
can’t open their wings and sticks and if
they explode on impact and looks at
rific to us but this but if um we put
ourselves and we put ourselves into the
heart of that bird there’s nothing like
that feeling plumb luring down and
rolling it is a smorgasbord of endurance
and endorphins and adult fermion and a
drilling adrenaline and a little like
snorting coke and drinking Hennessy
while being hooked up in the morphine
drip both of my parents with these
rollers I was bred to climb high and
high into the sky and tumble down I am
truly grateful that I found my wings
before I hit the ground
you
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