who are you how would you answer that
and are you living in a way that’s true
to who you are I often start off my new
mindfulness series exploring this
question by having two people ask each
other who are you so one person asks and
the other person responds for three
minutes uninterrupted and what I find is
that generally in this first round they
talk about the more external layer of
who they are they talk about their work
their hobbies their friends all of which
are really important but none of which
are who they fundamentally are and so
then they ask a second time ask who are
you again and this time I asked them to
get a little bit more cosmic in their
answer
so after wondering what they’ve done
signing up for my class they start to
get a little vulnerable so they talk
about their struggles in their past the
fact that they have anxiety and other
pains that they have but what I find is
that for most people no matter what they
said there is still something in them
that realizes that that’s not who they
are either but I don’t have them ask for
a third time because for most people who
they are beyond these two initial layers
is largely unexplored territory and
really difficult to put into words
I lived 25 years of my life with the
deep suffering of ignoring who I was
because I was scared because I didn’t
want to hurt anyone and because I didn’t
really love myself enough to change and
so when I came to meditation I came for
some relief but what I found was that
the pain was not actually coming from
the core of who I was the pain was
coming from how I was relating to who I
was so through mindfulness I began to
learn and accept who I was within and
beyond those two layers and the
transformation that has happened from
there has given me a kind of peace and
happiness that I could never have
expected so I’d like to share with you
today
a framework in four steps on how
mindfulness transforms us both from my
own experience and the experiences of
many who have been doing this practice
for over 2,500 years so the first step
is like the gateway of mindfulness it’s
coming to this heightened realization
that the new kicks the girlfriend even
getting an a boarding group on Southwest
don’t actually bring you sustained inner
peace and happiness you’re happy for a
bit and then you get used to it and then
you’re on to something else and then on
top of that everything ends breaks or
dies so no wonder it is so hard to be
happy as a human when there is always
something between you and happiness and
so many people live their whole lives in
a habit of believing that if only I
become less or more this or have more of
that then I’ll be happy so when people
come to meditation this represents a
willingness to step outside of this
endless cycle of if only to practice
being present with who we are and what
we have right now so I’d like to invite
you to try this practice out with me
because in the same way that I can’t
talk at you about playing piano and then
you become a virtuoso I can’t talk at
you about mindfulness and then you
become more mindful
unfortunately the brain doesn’t work
like that so through neuroplasticity our
brain actually develops based on how we
use it and so when we practice
mindfulness through meditation our brain
develops its capability to be mindful
and compassion in it and that’s really
why it is a practice and not a
philosophy or magic it’s accessible to
everyone and so let’s try out this
practice and to start I’ll just ask that
you close your eyes and this just helps
bring attention inward and just feel
what it feels like to be in this body in
bringing your attention to your
breathing in this body so following it
breathing in again and breathe out the
breath is always present and a reliable
place to come back to you just
and you might notice thoughts like to
take your attention away and so all you
have to do when you notice that happens
is observe where your mind went and then
so for some of you that might have felt
nice for others that might have felt
awkwardly long and for most of you you
probably noticed a lot of thoughts and
that’s actually part of the practice so
as we continue to practice we become
really conscious of what takes us away
from inner peace and happiness because
when we meditate we try to be present
and then we notice all of the thoughts
and the motions and our top 10 tunes
that really like to get in the way of
that it’s as though the waves of the
mind start to settle enough for us to
see more clearly what’s going on
underwater and rather than our normal
life where we’re too distracted to
notice we ignore it or we get really
caught up in it
we learn how to notice it to gain
insight from it and to let it pass and
that starts to create space for us to
choose our response from a wiser place I
remember one summer I was getting into
my car and it was extremely hot and I
noticed in me all of this irritation and
this inner complaining and because of my
practice I could be aware of it without
being totally caught up in it and it
gave me the space to to remember that
just a few months ago I had paid for
and so that changed my whole perspective
because suddenly I realized that it
wasn’t actually the heat itself that was
causing my suffering but it was my
resistance to the heat so rather than
being the complainer and being the
irritation I was able to be the noticer
of the irritation and complaining and
choose to let it go and so as we start
to get less caught up in our emotions
and our thoughts we start to have
greater access to this third layer of
who we are are more kind are kind wise
and conscious self where our true values
live as we become familiar with who we
are and as we start to allow thoughts
and emotions to go without getting
caught up in it we start to discover our
true nature and through meditation we
get this in glimpses of the quiet
peaceful mind and what it is to just be
and we discover the joy compassion and
peace of our true nature and this is
this experience is one of connectedness
it’s one of aliveness and it’s one of a
deep contentment as we start to discover
who we are it becomes natural then that
all of the layers of our being start to
transform from this place I would never
have expected that such a simple
practice would transform every corner of
my life from how I eat to how I speak to
the work I do and the habits that I have
and these changes haven’t come because
it’s New Year’s or because from from a
place of self-hatred or the delusion
that maybe this thing will bring me
happiness these changes have come from a
wiser and more compassionate place in me
through meditation I finally discovered
I gained the self compassion and the
insight to come to terms with being
transgender and that my brain had
developed as male and my body got a
different message and after I came out
to my family I went home and I found
these journals that my mother had kept
of
as a young child and I discovered that
from the age of two and for several
years I was persistently telling my
parents that I was a boy and when they
would tell me that I was a good girl I
would say no I would start crying and
tell them that I was actually a good boy
and I think they might have just thought
I was really stubborn but as I read
these journals I I remembered my first
short haircut as a child and what it
felt like to feel embodied a feeling
that a feeling of really being seen for
who you are and it was a feeling that I
would lose four decades after as I saw
that this is what I’d always been any
doubt that I had that maybe I was making
these changes out of a place of pain
that went away I knew then that I was
making these changes from a wiser place
out of compassion for my pain and it
became clear to me then that mindfulness
is of transformative practice that
brings us back home to who we are before
we are ever told who we should be and
that brings us a deep level of happiness
that we can’t find externally there’s an
old story in Thailand of a group of
monks that had to move this really big
clay Buddha statue into their new temple
and when they tried to move it it was
unexpected unexpectedly heavy and it
dropped and some of the clay broke off
and they found a little bit of gold
underneath so after they investigated
further they found that actually the
whole statue had been made of gold and
that hundreds of years before the
Burmese army had threatened to come to
town and so they covered it with clay to
try to protect it the analogy here is
that over the course of our lives we
pile on layers of clay clay that we use
to protect ourselves but eventually we
to forget the gold we really are we
forget that the clay was just a remnant
of the past and no longer who we are
today through mindfulness we learned the
skill of transferring the clay by
getting close to and transforming our
clay
and our suffering and getting in touch
with the gold that we are and this is so
important to me because when we’re
covered in clay and we are
when totally caught in our stresses and
our striving and our suffering we don’t
have as much access to our gold we don’t
have as much access to the innate
compassion we have to be open to and to
do something about the suffering of
others and the words and actions we make
out of our clay out of our fear and our
pain can cause tremendous harm over 40%
of transgender people try to kill
themselves and it’s not because of who
they are at their core it’s because so
many in this world have yet to learn how
to turn inward and to access compassion
that they have for others and for
themselves and this is just one kind of
unnecessary pain our society has not yet
learned how to help transform I don’t
think that world peace and greater
global happiness are going to happen
because one day all of the government’s
come together and decide that now is the
time for a more harmonious enlightened
world it has to start small we have to
practice it and build it inside of
ourselves and then we need to practice
it the next time we’re cut off on 64
every every moment is an opportunity for
practice and if we can meet the world in
this way we can begin to transform from
the inside out thank you [Applause]
and are you living in a way that’s true
to who you are I often start off my new
mindfulness series exploring this
question by having two people ask each
other who are you so one person asks and
the other person responds for three
minutes uninterrupted and what I find is
that generally in this first round they
talk about the more external layer of
who they are they talk about their work
their hobbies their friends all of which
are really important but none of which
are who they fundamentally are and so
then they ask a second time ask who are
you again and this time I asked them to
get a little bit more cosmic in their
answer
so after wondering what they’ve done
signing up for my class they start to
get a little vulnerable so they talk
about their struggles in their past the
fact that they have anxiety and other
pains that they have but what I find is
that for most people no matter what they
said there is still something in them
that realizes that that’s not who they
are either but I don’t have them ask for
a third time because for most people who
they are beyond these two initial layers
is largely unexplored territory and
really difficult to put into words
I lived 25 years of my life with the
deep suffering of ignoring who I was
because I was scared because I didn’t
want to hurt anyone and because I didn’t
really love myself enough to change and
so when I came to meditation I came for
some relief but what I found was that
the pain was not actually coming from
the core of who I was the pain was
coming from how I was relating to who I
was so through mindfulness I began to
learn and accept who I was within and
beyond those two layers and the
transformation that has happened from
there has given me a kind of peace and
happiness that I could never have
expected so I’d like to share with you
today
a framework in four steps on how
mindfulness transforms us both from my
own experience and the experiences of
many who have been doing this practice
for over 2,500 years so the first step
is like the gateway of mindfulness it’s
coming to this heightened realization
that the new kicks the girlfriend even
getting an a boarding group on Southwest
don’t actually bring you sustained inner
peace and happiness you’re happy for a
bit and then you get used to it and then
you’re on to something else and then on
top of that everything ends breaks or
dies so no wonder it is so hard to be
happy as a human when there is always
something between you and happiness and
so many people live their whole lives in
a habit of believing that if only I
become less or more this or have more of
that then I’ll be happy so when people
come to meditation this represents a
willingness to step outside of this
endless cycle of if only to practice
being present with who we are and what
we have right now so I’d like to invite
you to try this practice out with me
because in the same way that I can’t
talk at you about playing piano and then
you become a virtuoso I can’t talk at
you about mindfulness and then you
become more mindful
unfortunately the brain doesn’t work
like that so through neuroplasticity our
brain actually develops based on how we
use it and so when we practice
mindfulness through meditation our brain
develops its capability to be mindful
and compassion in it and that’s really
why it is a practice and not a
philosophy or magic it’s accessible to
everyone and so let’s try out this
practice and to start I’ll just ask that
you close your eyes and this just helps
bring attention inward and just feel
what it feels like to be in this body in
bringing your attention to your
breathing in this body so following it
breathing in again and breathe out the
breath is always present and a reliable
place to come back to you just
and you might notice thoughts like to
take your attention away and so all you
have to do when you notice that happens
is observe where your mind went and then
so for some of you that might have felt
nice for others that might have felt
awkwardly long and for most of you you
probably noticed a lot of thoughts and
that’s actually part of the practice so
as we continue to practice we become
really conscious of what takes us away
from inner peace and happiness because
when we meditate we try to be present
and then we notice all of the thoughts
and the motions and our top 10 tunes
that really like to get in the way of
that it’s as though the waves of the
mind start to settle enough for us to
see more clearly what’s going on
underwater and rather than our normal
life where we’re too distracted to
notice we ignore it or we get really
caught up in it
we learn how to notice it to gain
insight from it and to let it pass and
that starts to create space for us to
choose our response from a wiser place I
remember one summer I was getting into
my car and it was extremely hot and I
noticed in me all of this irritation and
this inner complaining and because of my
practice I could be aware of it without
being totally caught up in it and it
gave me the space to to remember that
just a few months ago I had paid for
and so that changed my whole perspective
because suddenly I realized that it
wasn’t actually the heat itself that was
causing my suffering but it was my
resistance to the heat so rather than
being the complainer and being the
irritation I was able to be the noticer
of the irritation and complaining and
choose to let it go and so as we start
to get less caught up in our emotions
and our thoughts we start to have
greater access to this third layer of
who we are are more kind are kind wise
and conscious self where our true values
live as we become familiar with who we
are and as we start to allow thoughts
and emotions to go without getting
caught up in it we start to discover our
true nature and through meditation we
get this in glimpses of the quiet
peaceful mind and what it is to just be
and we discover the joy compassion and
peace of our true nature and this is
this experience is one of connectedness
it’s one of aliveness and it’s one of a
deep contentment as we start to discover
who we are it becomes natural then that
all of the layers of our being start to
transform from this place I would never
have expected that such a simple
practice would transform every corner of
my life from how I eat to how I speak to
the work I do and the habits that I have
and these changes haven’t come because
it’s New Year’s or because from from a
place of self-hatred or the delusion
that maybe this thing will bring me
happiness these changes have come from a
wiser and more compassionate place in me
through meditation I finally discovered
I gained the self compassion and the
insight to come to terms with being
transgender and that my brain had
developed as male and my body got a
different message and after I came out
to my family I went home and I found
these journals that my mother had kept
of
as a young child and I discovered that
from the age of two and for several
years I was persistently telling my
parents that I was a boy and when they
would tell me that I was a good girl I
would say no I would start crying and
tell them that I was actually a good boy
and I think they might have just thought
I was really stubborn but as I read
these journals I I remembered my first
short haircut as a child and what it
felt like to feel embodied a feeling
that a feeling of really being seen for
who you are and it was a feeling that I
would lose four decades after as I saw
that this is what I’d always been any
doubt that I had that maybe I was making
these changes out of a place of pain
that went away I knew then that I was
making these changes from a wiser place
out of compassion for my pain and it
became clear to me then that mindfulness
is of transformative practice that
brings us back home to who we are before
we are ever told who we should be and
that brings us a deep level of happiness
that we can’t find externally there’s an
old story in Thailand of a group of
monks that had to move this really big
clay Buddha statue into their new temple
and when they tried to move it it was
unexpected unexpectedly heavy and it
dropped and some of the clay broke off
and they found a little bit of gold
underneath so after they investigated
further they found that actually the
whole statue had been made of gold and
that hundreds of years before the
Burmese army had threatened to come to
town and so they covered it with clay to
try to protect it the analogy here is
that over the course of our lives we
pile on layers of clay clay that we use
to protect ourselves but eventually we
to forget the gold we really are we
forget that the clay was just a remnant
of the past and no longer who we are
today through mindfulness we learned the
skill of transferring the clay by
getting close to and transforming our
clay
and our suffering and getting in touch
with the gold that we are and this is so
important to me because when we’re
covered in clay and we are
when totally caught in our stresses and
our striving and our suffering we don’t
have as much access to our gold we don’t
have as much access to the innate
compassion we have to be open to and to
do something about the suffering of
others and the words and actions we make
out of our clay out of our fear and our
pain can cause tremendous harm over 40%
of transgender people try to kill
themselves and it’s not because of who
they are at their core it’s because so
many in this world have yet to learn how
to turn inward and to access compassion
that they have for others and for
themselves and this is just one kind of
unnecessary pain our society has not yet
learned how to help transform I don’t
think that world peace and greater
global happiness are going to happen
because one day all of the government’s
come together and decide that now is the
time for a more harmonious enlightened
world it has to start small we have to
practice it and build it inside of
ourselves and then we need to practice
it the next time we’re cut off on 64
every every moment is an opportunity for
practice and if we can meet the world in
this way we can begin to transform from
the inside out thank you [Applause]
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