the shortest distance between two people
is a story the infinite complexity yet
quiet simplicity of these words is
striking we are known to one another
through the stories we choose to share
in safety today I will shorten the
distance between us between my family
and yours between my journey and that
which you’re travelling yourself my
words are a portrait of my life’s
journey woven together like the threads
of a colorful tapestry with those of my
oldest son a visible transgender person
of elementary age who boldly lives his
daily humanity for true visibility to
emerge I wish my son were standing on
this stage for then you would truly know
his brilliance but he is young so I
fiercely protect his name and image
publicly his absence from this stage is
highly problematic then because as a
cisgender woman I never have the right
to speak for anyone within the trans
community nor for my child whose own
voice is more powerful than most adults
I know he will come of age one day soon
and speak his truth directly to you so
for now it is my responsibility to speak
alongside him in the places he cannot
yet be so that our story may be known so
my kid and I co-wrote parts of this talk
for you today to Center two critical
things that we have come to realize that
first in the act of asserting his
identity as a transgender person at the
age of eight and nine and now 10 he is
often vendored invisible by the world
around him his growing circumstance of
living a life
of visible invisibility and second
realizing that love and not just any
love but love of the radical kind is the
only way to move forward to ensure that
he and his trans peers safely live a
life of full visibility our notion of
visible love I invite you to grapple
with the notion of visible and
visibility centering always the reality
that rendering groups of children
invisible is a dangerous and problematic
event to their lives when folks look at
my son they see a young boy
the transgender part of his identity is
largely invisible at the age of 10 he
presents in ways that the world often
thinks he should he visibly blends into
the sea alongside his classmates and
truthfully he likes it this way but what
is essential to him his identity as a
transgender person is incredibly
important to him in his own words I want
people to know I’m a transgender boy I
just don’t want them to judge me for it
and think I’m sensitive I don’t know why
but sometimes I like to hide that aspect
of my identity I don’t want that to
control my life in his act of becoming
more visible with those around him he’s
learning that there is a cost especially
with his peers in the form of verbal and
physical assaults ignoring and isolating
and excluding him from groups all
realities he’s endured in these past
years but thankfully alongside him he’s
navigated with a group of friends who
have shown compassion and true
friendship as stead
kid accomplices by keeping this part of
his identity invisible though for safety
it contributes to the shameful political
agenda of America that would seek to
erase him completely our current
administration supported by the
Secretary of Education has provided
language to the Department of Education
to dismiss cases of transgender
discrimination in facilities
based on gender identity in our public
schools adding on to this cowardly
discrimination against our transgender
youth is the movement to censor books
with transgender characters from our
elementary schools this September in
Rocklin California and uprising arose
when a kindergarten teacher read I am
jazz a book about a transgender child to
her students in June also in September
Alex Geno’s George a Stonewall a went
Ward winning book about a transgender
child’s transition wasn’t included on
the master list given to all public
elementary schools in Wichita Kansas
because the supervisor of library media
said the book quote contained language
and references not appropriate for young
children author Alex Gino responded by
raising money and donating their book to
every public elementary school in
Wichita Kansas before you say you agree
with such such censorship I invite you
to look at me as I gaze upon you in an
attempt to shorten the distance between
us with our story I am a mother of a 10
year old boy should he not be able to
have books read to him in a school
within which he sees himself and his
identity reflected should what is
essential to him be erased by the narrow
choices of those in power as a mother
and an educator if we continue to paint
picture of the way in which the world
works including the identities of those
that inhabit it and continue to make
remain silence about the fact that
transgender people exist in our world
this essentially erases a part of my
child’s identity in essence it’s a ratio
of personhood that is a violent act
against children poet and essayist
Adrienne Rich puts it this way when
someone with the authorities say of a
teacher describes the world and you are
not in it there is a moment of psychic
disequilibrium as if you looked into a
mirror and saw nothing yet you know you
exist and those like you that this is a
game done with mirrors my kid though
says that best of all quote I would be
angry if there were no books with
transgender characters in my squall then
no one would know what it’s like to be a
transgender kid and I would be all alone
if people didn’t talk about and read
about transgender characters then they
wouldn’t know my world and I would be
alone it’s complicated
yet quite simple just as life is
simultaneously complex my son wants to
be known through the stories he chooses
to share and safety with those around
him about his humanity so that the
distance between he and his peers may be
shortened it has been a few years now
that my child and I have struggled to
see him reflected in the world around us
in our community and in his school
district and not merely represented and
included but privileged and valued for
his authentic self and I have struggled
to understand the pervasive adult
mindset characterized by fear of
engaging children in conversations about
gender diversity
in our schools my life’s work has become
walking alongside educators of this
nation who are boldly decisively and
unapologetically working to create more
inclusive just and equitable spaces for
all children courageously speaking up
when those of us around us choose to
remain silent is one way we can shift
this national narrative characterized by
oppressive silence towards our
transgender youth courageous actions of
speaking about the fact that transgender
people transgender children known and
unknown to us exist and thrive in our
world in our communities in our places
of worship in our schools in our
classrooms on our basketball courts in
our art studios in our neighborhoods in
our homes taking action to stop to speak
about gender diversity while mindfully
using inclusive texts in our schools in
our classrooms in our libraries in our
homes is one of the most socially just
acts that we can take as adults and
educators in our communities we show the
radical aspect of visible love in my
son’s own words when we quote hug and
when we write speeches like this to
bravely share our story when my mom goes
to schools and works with teachers to
show love to all kids and writes about
it
that’s her doing visible love we also
enact the radical aspect of visible love
when we show patient compassion with
those around us when my son is
misgendered with the wrong pronouns and
his dead name and I whisper to him I’m
sorry love and he says to me it’s okay
the depth of compassion in his heart
rivals that of most adults to us an
acting patient compassion with those
around us as they work to shift their
hearts and minds more expansively as
love and acted poet Adrienne Rich argues
that it takes some sense of soul and not
just individual strengths but collective
understanding to demand to be seen and
heard it is our collective
responsibility to work toward creating a
more inclusive just and equitable world
for all of our children this
responsibility begins with each of us so
now that the distance between my son and
I between you and I has been shortened
my child and I invite you to walk
alongside us an actionable visible love thank you
is a story the infinite complexity yet
quiet simplicity of these words is
striking we are known to one another
through the stories we choose to share
in safety today I will shorten the
distance between us between my family
and yours between my journey and that
which you’re travelling yourself my
words are a portrait of my life’s
journey woven together like the threads
of a colorful tapestry with those of my
oldest son a visible transgender person
of elementary age who boldly lives his
daily humanity for true visibility to
emerge I wish my son were standing on
this stage for then you would truly know
his brilliance but he is young so I
fiercely protect his name and image
publicly his absence from this stage is
highly problematic then because as a
cisgender woman I never have the right
to speak for anyone within the trans
community nor for my child whose own
voice is more powerful than most adults
I know he will come of age one day soon
and speak his truth directly to you so
for now it is my responsibility to speak
alongside him in the places he cannot
yet be so that our story may be known so
my kid and I co-wrote parts of this talk
for you today to Center two critical
things that we have come to realize that
first in the act of asserting his
identity as a transgender person at the
age of eight and nine and now 10 he is
often vendored invisible by the world
around him his growing circumstance of
living a life
of visible invisibility and second
realizing that love and not just any
love but love of the radical kind is the
only way to move forward to ensure that
he and his trans peers safely live a
life of full visibility our notion of
visible love I invite you to grapple
with the notion of visible and
visibility centering always the reality
that rendering groups of children
invisible is a dangerous and problematic
event to their lives when folks look at
my son they see a young boy
the transgender part of his identity is
largely invisible at the age of 10 he
presents in ways that the world often
thinks he should he visibly blends into
the sea alongside his classmates and
truthfully he likes it this way but what
is essential to him his identity as a
transgender person is incredibly
important to him in his own words I want
people to know I’m a transgender boy I
just don’t want them to judge me for it
and think I’m sensitive I don’t know why
but sometimes I like to hide that aspect
of my identity I don’t want that to
control my life in his act of becoming
more visible with those around him he’s
learning that there is a cost especially
with his peers in the form of verbal and
physical assaults ignoring and isolating
and excluding him from groups all
realities he’s endured in these past
years but thankfully alongside him he’s
navigated with a group of friends who
have shown compassion and true
friendship as stead
kid accomplices by keeping this part of
his identity invisible though for safety
it contributes to the shameful political
agenda of America that would seek to
erase him completely our current
administration supported by the
Secretary of Education has provided
language to the Department of Education
to dismiss cases of transgender
discrimination in facilities
based on gender identity in our public
schools adding on to this cowardly
discrimination against our transgender
youth is the movement to censor books
with transgender characters from our
elementary schools this September in
Rocklin California and uprising arose
when a kindergarten teacher read I am
jazz a book about a transgender child to
her students in June also in September
Alex Geno’s George a Stonewall a went
Ward winning book about a transgender
child’s transition wasn’t included on
the master list given to all public
elementary schools in Wichita Kansas
because the supervisor of library media
said the book quote contained language
and references not appropriate for young
children author Alex Gino responded by
raising money and donating their book to
every public elementary school in
Wichita Kansas before you say you agree
with such such censorship I invite you
to look at me as I gaze upon you in an
attempt to shorten the distance between
us with our story I am a mother of a 10
year old boy should he not be able to
have books read to him in a school
within which he sees himself and his
identity reflected should what is
essential to him be erased by the narrow
choices of those in power as a mother
and an educator if we continue to paint
picture of the way in which the world
works including the identities of those
that inhabit it and continue to make
remain silence about the fact that
transgender people exist in our world
this essentially erases a part of my
child’s identity in essence it’s a ratio
of personhood that is a violent act
against children poet and essayist
Adrienne Rich puts it this way when
someone with the authorities say of a
teacher describes the world and you are
not in it there is a moment of psychic
disequilibrium as if you looked into a
mirror and saw nothing yet you know you
exist and those like you that this is a
game done with mirrors my kid though
says that best of all quote I would be
angry if there were no books with
transgender characters in my squall then
no one would know what it’s like to be a
transgender kid and I would be all alone
if people didn’t talk about and read
about transgender characters then they
wouldn’t know my world and I would be
alone it’s complicated
yet quite simple just as life is
simultaneously complex my son wants to
be known through the stories he chooses
to share and safety with those around
him about his humanity so that the
distance between he and his peers may be
shortened it has been a few years now
that my child and I have struggled to
see him reflected in the world around us
in our community and in his school
district and not merely represented and
included but privileged and valued for
his authentic self and I have struggled
to understand the pervasive adult
mindset characterized by fear of
engaging children in conversations about
gender diversity
in our schools my life’s work has become
walking alongside educators of this
nation who are boldly decisively and
unapologetically working to create more
inclusive just and equitable spaces for
all children courageously speaking up
when those of us around us choose to
remain silent is one way we can shift
this national narrative characterized by
oppressive silence towards our
transgender youth courageous actions of
speaking about the fact that transgender
people transgender children known and
unknown to us exist and thrive in our
world in our communities in our places
of worship in our schools in our
classrooms on our basketball courts in
our art studios in our neighborhoods in
our homes taking action to stop to speak
about gender diversity while mindfully
using inclusive texts in our schools in
our classrooms in our libraries in our
homes is one of the most socially just
acts that we can take as adults and
educators in our communities we show the
radical aspect of visible love in my
son’s own words when we quote hug and
when we write speeches like this to
bravely share our story when my mom goes
to schools and works with teachers to
show love to all kids and writes about
it
that’s her doing visible love we also
enact the radical aspect of visible love
when we show patient compassion with
those around us when my son is
misgendered with the wrong pronouns and
his dead name and I whisper to him I’m
sorry love and he says to me it’s okay
the depth of compassion in his heart
rivals that of most adults to us an
acting patient compassion with those
around us as they work to shift their
hearts and minds more expansively as
love and acted poet Adrienne Rich argues
that it takes some sense of soul and not
just individual strengths but collective
understanding to demand to be seen and
heard it is our collective
responsibility to work toward creating a
more inclusive just and equitable world
for all of our children this
responsibility begins with each of us so
now that the distance between my son and
I between you and I has been shortened
my child and I invite you to walk
alongside us an actionable visible love thank you
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