in preparing for this talk I realized I
was the only female speaker and I think
I have an idea as why this may be the
case for taking up the privilege to
speak to you here today has been a
similar process as to when I started my
business two years ago and today I want
to talk to you about what it feels like
to start your own business
the constant unrelenting internal
struggles that you have to work through
and I’ve believed that it is these
struggles that really shape your
approach your strategy and planning as
you start on your entrepreneurial
journey so in 2015 one year before
coming to Japan to study my MBA I was
based in Johannesburg South Africa and I
work for a global mining company the job
paid well and it had meaning I really
loved the work that I did but that same
year the mining industry experienced an
unprecedented downturn and with dismal
financial results and investors to
appease mining companies were shedding
jobs like you would bail water out of a
sinking ship and I was one of these
unfortunate industry cast offs so by
December 2015 I was without a job and in
a crisis so my immediate reaction was to
look for a new job
and I applied to five different
positions but none of them materialized
it was then I decided to go home to Cape
Town feeling like a total failure and
worthless and my father picked me up
from the airport as he usually does and
I announced him papa
I’m officially unemployed and he looks
at me with this broad smile and he says
so am I
I’m self-employed you you have to create
your own work and you have to employ
others his words created a shift in my
mind as to what was possible and with
this nudge I took the plunge to start my
own consulting business now I want to
give you some context of my experience
of South Africa my country’s famous or
rather infamous for its apartheid laws
and policies and I’ve lived through the
last 15 years of it and no I won’t just
forget about it or get over it as some
of my white South Africans would want
because the party legacy is alive and
well and it continues to recreate the
same economic and social patterns so in
short the odds are stacked up high
against you if you’re a brown skinned
South African female and tested an overt
discrimination really shapes and defines
what we think is possible for ourselves
so I’ve had fleeting thoughts of wanting
to be my own boss but I never really
took this seriously because I didn’t
think it was possible for somebody like
me and I’ve also enjoyed form employ
employment ever since I could be legally
employed formal employment has been a
great source of pride identity and
income and I’ve had many titles from
being a toe pecker
when I got my first job in a retail stop
packing other people’s groceries to a
researcher a consultant and finally a
social performance advisor now this
title sound very grand but none of them
really fitted who I was as a person but
when you’re a first-generation
University and high school graduate you
carry the hopes and dreams of multiple
generations and that includes getting a
good education and getting a good job so
but what have I been quietly told South
African society has told me you are a
worker this is your moment and you
should be grateful for the salary that
you
now the irony is I come from a long line
of entrepreneurs my great-grandfather
was a hooker selling organic fruits and
vegetables in the local neighborhoods
both my grandparents were entrepreneurs
my parents who never finished high
school were of the founding members of
the South African taxi industry an
industry of informal transport operated
rooted in serving people and places the
previous government neglected but this
history is disregarded it’s not valued
these stories untold and there’s a no
account of their achievements and it’s
this disregard I believe that really
shapes South Africans people’s deep
desires and aspirations to be employees
and entrepreneurship still is an
activity of last resort as it was with
me so what did I need to get started
so in real terms I had to create a
company that is so good on paper that it
immediately builds trust in prospective
clients a company that is legitimate and
ready to take on work to be blunt I had
to hide behind this company to get in
front of prospective clients because my
skin told want so in addition to this
external gender and racial
discrimination there’s a deep internal
struggle which is equally as challenging
nobody tells you of the roller coaster
ride you go on when you start a business
you battle a myriad of emotions stress
anxiety soft out fear insecurity and we
create these mental barriers that stop
us from starting in the first place so
many times I’ve questioned myself what
do you think you’re doing nobody’s going
to hire you and you don’t just overcome
these you have to work through these
negative emotions daily and to do that
you need courage
you need bucket loads of courage you
need determination to get over the
self-doubt and rock-bottom self-esteem
and you have to have the audacity to
dream to dream of creating a company
even though nobody else like you has
done the same
so through this entrepreneurial journey
I felt I learned that a strong sense of
self is at the heart of it it’s what
gives me the courage and determination
to work through these negative emotions
so self-esteem to me is critical to
business success for this internal
struggle of continuing to silence the
doubt and self restraint is real and
unrelenting and I think it is this soft
doubt and restraint which is the reason
why there’s no other woman on stage here
with me today and I think this
conformity and self restraint to what we
think is acceptable is something that
plagues women more we simply don’t think
we’re good enough and not worthy so
studies our female entrepreneurship have
shown that issues such as motivation
fear of success and failure lack of
confidence lack of role models risk
aversion all these self limiting factors
ranked up high in some of the challenges
that female African entrepreneurs face
now this is over and above real issues
of discrimination as well as issues such
as access to finance for example where
there is a 20 billion dollar financing
gap for female entrepreneurs in
sub-saharan Africa but the sense of self
doesn’t come automatic it’s something
that is developed and it’s something
that is nurtured and I think it’s the
best thing that we can do for ourselves
because if you want to change how the
world sees us we have to change how the
world how we see ourselves now in
closing I want to do a brief a short
exercise
and I’m going to ask all the ladies to
stand up and if some of the guys want to
join in solidarity please do so I want
you to pretend you’re holding this rock
in your hands and you take this rock
everywhere and you get so used to it but
every now and then you start to feel the
weight of this rock this is the rock of
self-doubt now I want you to put it down
and I want you to raise up your hands up
high and we’re going to practice Amy
Cuddy’s power pose I personally prefer
Winnie Madikizela power pose
so every time you feel this weight of
self-doubt drop it and strike a pose thank you
was the only female speaker and I think
I have an idea as why this may be the
case for taking up the privilege to
speak to you here today has been a
similar process as to when I started my
business two years ago and today I want
to talk to you about what it feels like
to start your own business
the constant unrelenting internal
struggles that you have to work through
and I’ve believed that it is these
struggles that really shape your
approach your strategy and planning as
you start on your entrepreneurial
journey so in 2015 one year before
coming to Japan to study my MBA I was
based in Johannesburg South Africa and I
work for a global mining company the job
paid well and it had meaning I really
loved the work that I did but that same
year the mining industry experienced an
unprecedented downturn and with dismal
financial results and investors to
appease mining companies were shedding
jobs like you would bail water out of a
sinking ship and I was one of these
unfortunate industry cast offs so by
December 2015 I was without a job and in
a crisis so my immediate reaction was to
look for a new job
and I applied to five different
positions but none of them materialized
it was then I decided to go home to Cape
Town feeling like a total failure and
worthless and my father picked me up
from the airport as he usually does and
I announced him papa
I’m officially unemployed and he looks
at me with this broad smile and he says
so am I
I’m self-employed you you have to create
your own work and you have to employ
others his words created a shift in my
mind as to what was possible and with
this nudge I took the plunge to start my
own consulting business now I want to
give you some context of my experience
of South Africa my country’s famous or
rather infamous for its apartheid laws
and policies and I’ve lived through the
last 15 years of it and no I won’t just
forget about it or get over it as some
of my white South Africans would want
because the party legacy is alive and
well and it continues to recreate the
same economic and social patterns so in
short the odds are stacked up high
against you if you’re a brown skinned
South African female and tested an overt
discrimination really shapes and defines
what we think is possible for ourselves
so I’ve had fleeting thoughts of wanting
to be my own boss but I never really
took this seriously because I didn’t
think it was possible for somebody like
me and I’ve also enjoyed form employ
employment ever since I could be legally
employed formal employment has been a
great source of pride identity and
income and I’ve had many titles from
being a toe pecker
when I got my first job in a retail stop
packing other people’s groceries to a
researcher a consultant and finally a
social performance advisor now this
title sound very grand but none of them
really fitted who I was as a person but
when you’re a first-generation
University and high school graduate you
carry the hopes and dreams of multiple
generations and that includes getting a
good education and getting a good job so
but what have I been quietly told South
African society has told me you are a
worker this is your moment and you
should be grateful for the salary that
you
now the irony is I come from a long line
of entrepreneurs my great-grandfather
was a hooker selling organic fruits and
vegetables in the local neighborhoods
both my grandparents were entrepreneurs
my parents who never finished high
school were of the founding members of
the South African taxi industry an
industry of informal transport operated
rooted in serving people and places the
previous government neglected but this
history is disregarded it’s not valued
these stories untold and there’s a no
account of their achievements and it’s
this disregard I believe that really
shapes South Africans people’s deep
desires and aspirations to be employees
and entrepreneurship still is an
activity of last resort as it was with
me so what did I need to get started
so in real terms I had to create a
company that is so good on paper that it
immediately builds trust in prospective
clients a company that is legitimate and
ready to take on work to be blunt I had
to hide behind this company to get in
front of prospective clients because my
skin told want so in addition to this
external gender and racial
discrimination there’s a deep internal
struggle which is equally as challenging
nobody tells you of the roller coaster
ride you go on when you start a business
you battle a myriad of emotions stress
anxiety soft out fear insecurity and we
create these mental barriers that stop
us from starting in the first place so
many times I’ve questioned myself what
do you think you’re doing nobody’s going
to hire you and you don’t just overcome
these you have to work through these
negative emotions daily and to do that
you need courage
you need bucket loads of courage you
need determination to get over the
self-doubt and rock-bottom self-esteem
and you have to have the audacity to
dream to dream of creating a company
even though nobody else like you has
done the same
so through this entrepreneurial journey
I felt I learned that a strong sense of
self is at the heart of it it’s what
gives me the courage and determination
to work through these negative emotions
so self-esteem to me is critical to
business success for this internal
struggle of continuing to silence the
doubt and self restraint is real and
unrelenting and I think it is this soft
doubt and restraint which is the reason
why there’s no other woman on stage here
with me today and I think this
conformity and self restraint to what we
think is acceptable is something that
plagues women more we simply don’t think
we’re good enough and not worthy so
studies our female entrepreneurship have
shown that issues such as motivation
fear of success and failure lack of
confidence lack of role models risk
aversion all these self limiting factors
ranked up high in some of the challenges
that female African entrepreneurs face
now this is over and above real issues
of discrimination as well as issues such
as access to finance for example where
there is a 20 billion dollar financing
gap for female entrepreneurs in
sub-saharan Africa but the sense of self
doesn’t come automatic it’s something
that is developed and it’s something
that is nurtured and I think it’s the
best thing that we can do for ourselves
because if you want to change how the
world sees us we have to change how the
world how we see ourselves now in
closing I want to do a brief a short
exercise
and I’m going to ask all the ladies to
stand up and if some of the guys want to
join in solidarity please do so I want
you to pretend you’re holding this rock
in your hands and you take this rock
everywhere and you get so used to it but
every now and then you start to feel the
weight of this rock this is the rock of
self-doubt now I want you to put it down
and I want you to raise up your hands up
high and we’re going to practice Amy
Cuddy’s power pose I personally prefer
Winnie Madikizela power pose
so every time you feel this weight of
self-doubt drop it and strike a pose thank you
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