[Applause]
thanks for the grace for having one of
the things about that is grace invited
me to come speak here she put me on the
stage she trusted me she gave me her
trust to be here she trusted that I
wouldn’t venture in her forbidden topics
she trusted that state generally on
script I wouldn’t run too far over my
time money she gave me ere trust to each
of you this afternoon you told your
parents how long the leaving I’m gonna
book the hem enough we’ll go to the ten
extra bed they trusted that that’s where
you actually forego your teacher deep
sleep they trust that you do your
homework they should use technology
appropriately trust in rays that are
large and ways that are quite small is a
critical part of your life you give it
freely and you get it freedom as a
federal prosecutor in my professional
life
Trust is perhaps my most important
attribute it is the thing that I often
work the hardest to posture to try to
figure out how to get others to trust me
to ensure that I maintain their trust
when I sit down and meet with an FBI
agent to talk about an investigation or
a case it’s crucial that they trust the
advice that I give when I go to my boss
with an indictment or recommendation on
a sentence of imprisonment for someone
who’s been convicted of a crime her
approval of my recommendation is heavily
influenced by the degree to which she
trusts me
we’re not working cases before judges
it’s vital that they trust the
representation and information that I’m
providing them when I stood before a
jury of 12 men and women and explained
the horrors of Dylann roofs attack on
parishioners at mother Emanuel the
manner in degree which that jury trusted
me personally influenced the way they
saw and understood the evidence that we
put forward I had the great privilege to
work with the survivors and family
members of those that group executed is
the most important thing that I had with
them with their trust their willingness
to rely on me despite the fact that they
didn’t know me that well that trust
that’s that willingness to Ally upon
another the confidence in the unknown
not knowing me those victims and
families developed a reason to trust me
so how do we get to that point how do we
get to the point where someone is
willing to have confidence in me without
going me very well and what is that
trust it’s not absolute that willingness
to hold someone in their hands it’s not
absolutely President Reagan used to say
trust but verify the trench doesn’t take
my word without checking on it my boss
doesn’t rubber stamp when I provide that
jury didn’t sue sunroof we got good
we trust but we bear about trust is what
I get grace gave me her trust and she
put me on the stage when we give in
order to get it
the circular answer is we act in a
trustworthy manner it really helped us
define that very well doesn’t what do we
give in order to get into the things
that would give are very very difficult
to articulate we’re honest we rely on
things that are very difficult to see
and understand in someone else I’m going
to talk to you about a few things a few
proxies a few ideas that I see people
relying on to determine whether and to
what degree to give their trust to
somebody else commonality we trust those
who share our values our experiences our
goals our aims those who we find
something in common with we trust does
that mean for someone like me is a
lawyer we try to identify those areas
that we have in common and minimize the
insignificant differences
I’m talking about commonalities I’m not
talking about superficial similarities
I’m not about meaningful beliefs
meaningful goals ideas and significant
experiences in someone’s life the only
way to know what those are is to listen
intently to start conversations with
people in new settings by asking
questions not getting answers each of us
in this room each of us has hundreds and
hundreds of different actions
traits beliefs values goals experiences
any two of you can sit down and you can
find both differences and things that
you share common if you’re willing to
listen no matter how disparate you may
see if you can find those things that
you have in common and if you want them
to trust you you can learn to focus on
those areas of common and shared values
and diminishing and making significant
the superficial differences but it’s not
just about listening Trust is also up
sharing the more you know about someone
the more willing you are to trust them
so to be trusted you must be willing to
share and I don’t be willing to share in
this big sense of overconfidence being a
braggart that’s not true calmness that’s
not true sharing sharing in this context
is an ability and a willingness to talk
about vulnerabilities to talk about
limitations barriers and mistakes if
you’re going to share and you want to
develop trust you have to be willing to
share those things with them to have
those conversations about yourself and
others perceptions the recent grace
invited me to be with you today not
because we knew each other back we met
this morning the reason she did trust
the cookie on the stage is that we have
a mutual friend in common someone who
eat rust me and she trusts her and so
perception was sufficient for grace that
some trust in me when you go on internet
sites like eBay or uber you’re seeing
other people’s perceptions of an
individual reflected in their ratings or
rankings or reports we often look at
what others perceptions are to determine
whether that’s someone we should trust
or not when I’m in court room and
everything’s going well
I recognize that jury’s not just looking
at me when I’m speaking they’re looking
at me when I’m not
they’re looking at my interactions not
just the opposing counsel over the
bailiff the court staffed with my FBI
agent
my co-counsel my support they’re looking
at my interactions with each of them to
see how I treat them but maybe just as
importantly how they treat me
do they exhibit that they trust me those
perceptions of others or a powerful way
where we determine whether that is
someone that we should trust or whether
media in fact should be trusted
so talk a little bit about what Trust is
and what are some of the ideas that we
talk about the trust to do what when I’m
standing in a jury in front of a jury
and everything is going just like we
wanted to and that journey have the
utmost confidence in me and my ability
to convey to them exactly what’s
happened in a fair balanced manner they
trust me
but trust me too to reflect a little bit
about a heart attack not a single tour
where trust me to the bottom of our
not a single juror is walking up to me
afterwards in stain which he managed my
money they trust me to stay in my lane
they trust me to be a prosecutor to be a
lawyer to help tell the story of what
happened they don’t trust me to be
somebody else they don’t trust me to try
to do something that I’m not or be
someone I’m not
so I talk about this primarily in the
context of my professional career and it
affects you as students as employees as
leaders for student organizations but it
also affects you with your friends
studies indicate to us that your ability
to trust others and your work
inclination to be trusted by others is a
powerful suggestion probable predictor
of your subjective well-being if you
trust and are trusted you will be much
happier without that trust not only with
your friendships the few a number that
they’ll be shallow and less meaning so
when I talk about in a professional
context that I work hard and posture
trust as a prosecutor also work hard to
trying to highlight with my friends what
we share in common and ignore the
superficial differences to listen
intently to them and their issues and
share my own real-life problems to do
the little things that others can see
and that they came by notice in text
ensuring I won’t make promises that I
can keep and maybe most importantly I’m
sure that I stand by I remain true
through lying and I don’t
somebody that I’m not don’t friends
today I mentioned both as high school
students as future employers as leaders
and his premise I like to spend a little
time thinking about how you can foster a little bit more trust in your own
thanks for the grace for having one of
the things about that is grace invited
me to come speak here she put me on the
stage she trusted me she gave me her
trust to be here she trusted that I
wouldn’t venture in her forbidden topics
she trusted that state generally on
script I wouldn’t run too far over my
time money she gave me ere trust to each
of you this afternoon you told your
parents how long the leaving I’m gonna
book the hem enough we’ll go to the ten
extra bed they trusted that that’s where
you actually forego your teacher deep
sleep they trust that you do your
homework they should use technology
appropriately trust in rays that are
large and ways that are quite small is a
critical part of your life you give it
freely and you get it freedom as a
federal prosecutor in my professional
life
Trust is perhaps my most important
attribute it is the thing that I often
work the hardest to posture to try to
figure out how to get others to trust me
to ensure that I maintain their trust
when I sit down and meet with an FBI
agent to talk about an investigation or
a case it’s crucial that they trust the
advice that I give when I go to my boss
with an indictment or recommendation on
a sentence of imprisonment for someone
who’s been convicted of a crime her
approval of my recommendation is heavily
influenced by the degree to which she
trusts me
we’re not working cases before judges
it’s vital that they trust the
representation and information that I’m
providing them when I stood before a
jury of 12 men and women and explained
the horrors of Dylann roofs attack on
parishioners at mother Emanuel the
manner in degree which that jury trusted
me personally influenced the way they
saw and understood the evidence that we
put forward I had the great privilege to
work with the survivors and family
members of those that group executed is
the most important thing that I had with
them with their trust their willingness
to rely on me despite the fact that they
didn’t know me that well that trust
that’s that willingness to Ally upon
another the confidence in the unknown
not knowing me those victims and
families developed a reason to trust me
so how do we get to that point how do we
get to the point where someone is
willing to have confidence in me without
going me very well and what is that
trust it’s not absolute that willingness
to hold someone in their hands it’s not
absolutely President Reagan used to say
trust but verify the trench doesn’t take
my word without checking on it my boss
doesn’t rubber stamp when I provide that
jury didn’t sue sunroof we got good
we trust but we bear about trust is what
I get grace gave me her trust and she
put me on the stage when we give in
order to get it
the circular answer is we act in a
trustworthy manner it really helped us
define that very well doesn’t what do we
give in order to get into the things
that would give are very very difficult
to articulate we’re honest we rely on
things that are very difficult to see
and understand in someone else I’m going
to talk to you about a few things a few
proxies a few ideas that I see people
relying on to determine whether and to
what degree to give their trust to
somebody else commonality we trust those
who share our values our experiences our
goals our aims those who we find
something in common with we trust does
that mean for someone like me is a
lawyer we try to identify those areas
that we have in common and minimize the
insignificant differences
I’m talking about commonalities I’m not
talking about superficial similarities
I’m not about meaningful beliefs
meaningful goals ideas and significant
experiences in someone’s life the only
way to know what those are is to listen
intently to start conversations with
people in new settings by asking
questions not getting answers each of us
in this room each of us has hundreds and
hundreds of different actions
traits beliefs values goals experiences
any two of you can sit down and you can
find both differences and things that
you share common if you’re willing to
listen no matter how disparate you may
see if you can find those things that
you have in common and if you want them
to trust you you can learn to focus on
those areas of common and shared values
and diminishing and making significant
the superficial differences but it’s not
just about listening Trust is also up
sharing the more you know about someone
the more willing you are to trust them
so to be trusted you must be willing to
share and I don’t be willing to share in
this big sense of overconfidence being a
braggart that’s not true calmness that’s
not true sharing sharing in this context
is an ability and a willingness to talk
about vulnerabilities to talk about
limitations barriers and mistakes if
you’re going to share and you want to
develop trust you have to be willing to
share those things with them to have
those conversations about yourself and
others perceptions the recent grace
invited me to be with you today not
because we knew each other back we met
this morning the reason she did trust
the cookie on the stage is that we have
a mutual friend in common someone who
eat rust me and she trusts her and so
perception was sufficient for grace that
some trust in me when you go on internet
sites like eBay or uber you’re seeing
other people’s perceptions of an
individual reflected in their ratings or
rankings or reports we often look at
what others perceptions are to determine
whether that’s someone we should trust
or not when I’m in court room and
everything’s going well
I recognize that jury’s not just looking
at me when I’m speaking they’re looking
at me when I’m not
they’re looking at my interactions not
just the opposing counsel over the
bailiff the court staffed with my FBI
agent
my co-counsel my support they’re looking
at my interactions with each of them to
see how I treat them but maybe just as
importantly how they treat me
do they exhibit that they trust me those
perceptions of others or a powerful way
where we determine whether that is
someone that we should trust or whether
media in fact should be trusted
so talk a little bit about what Trust is
and what are some of the ideas that we
talk about the trust to do what when I’m
standing in a jury in front of a jury
and everything is going just like we
wanted to and that journey have the
utmost confidence in me and my ability
to convey to them exactly what’s
happened in a fair balanced manner they
trust me
but trust me too to reflect a little bit
about a heart attack not a single tour
where trust me to the bottom of our
not a single juror is walking up to me
afterwards in stain which he managed my
money they trust me to stay in my lane
they trust me to be a prosecutor to be a
lawyer to help tell the story of what
happened they don’t trust me to be
somebody else they don’t trust me to try
to do something that I’m not or be
someone I’m not
so I talk about this primarily in the
context of my professional career and it
affects you as students as employees as
leaders for student organizations but it
also affects you with your friends
studies indicate to us that your ability
to trust others and your work
inclination to be trusted by others is a
powerful suggestion probable predictor
of your subjective well-being if you
trust and are trusted you will be much
happier without that trust not only with
your friendships the few a number that
they’ll be shallow and less meaning so
when I talk about in a professional
context that I work hard and posture
trust as a prosecutor also work hard to
trying to highlight with my friends what
we share in common and ignore the
superficial differences to listen
intently to them and their issues and
share my own real-life problems to do
the little things that others can see
and that they came by notice in text
ensuring I won’t make promises that I
can keep and maybe most importantly I’m
sure that I stand by I remain true
through lying and I don’t
somebody that I’m not don’t friends
today I mentioned both as high school
students as future employers as leaders
and his premise I like to spend a little
time thinking about how you can foster a little bit more trust in your own
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