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Fighting for Marriage Equality | Emily Schall-Townley | TEDxYouth@RVA


hi guys I’m Emily and I’m going to talk

to you guys today growing up I never

assumed that some people might think my

family as different we lived in an

ordinary house in an ordinary

neighborhood and did ordinary things

like ordering pizza every Sunday for

sometimes I would get questions saying

hey Emily why don’t you have a dad and I

would just respond I don’t and most kids

don’t push it farther than that I had

two moms and that was that as I got a

little older I kind of got to understand

what being gay might mean and I also

came to understand what other kids might

mean when they say oh that’s so gay so

having that association with the word

gay I kind of became withdrawn with

telling people that I had two moms

I was worried what people might think of

my family and selfishly what they might

think of me one day in the playground in

fourth grade a girl came up to me and

asked Emily are your parents gay and I

didn’t take that well I assumed that she

was asking out him Alice and I ran off

crying and I’m sure she was just asking

out genuine curiosity but still it may

mean withdraw even more about who my

parents were

but my mom’s on the other hand they

never held back they would attend

parent-teacher conferences together they

would sign my permission forms for field

trips at both my mom’s they would go to

PTA meetings and present themselves as

Emily’s moms and they were always just

much braver than me my husband si had to

come to an end at some point and that

was when my two mothers joined Tim

Bostick and Tony London as plaintiffs in

the case Bostick V Rainey which was the

marriage equality case in Virginia we

had our first press conference on

September 16th in 2013 in Washington DC

and luckily I didn’t have to speak at it

but it was still really daunting

experience to stand in front of all

these TV cameras and just present our

lives out to everyone

our first hearing was on February 4th in

2014 it was a really cold morning in

Norfolk Virginia and I felt really

awkward and stupid because of course I’d

forgotten my coat and all I had to wear

was my basketball sweatshirt so I was

already on edge and as we were walking

to the courthouse we turned the corner

and suddenly I saw them it was a huge

mob of protesters suddenly I wasn’t so

worried about my sweatshirt anymore they

held signs saying history proclaims that

children do better with a mom and a dad

and I was just hurt by these signs these

people didn’t know who we were they

don’t know my family my moms are too

loving caring people and just thinking

that that’s what they believed I just

knew I had to speak out and I had the

chance to do that at the following press

conference after our fourth circuit

hearing which was in April I think sorry

I was terrified my hands were shaking I

was sweating I was a mess and I stepped

it to the mic and I was just so

overwhelmed with everything but I knew

that it was really important that I had

to do this I had to speak for not only

my family but other families like mine

out there and for myself

there were high-ranking government

officials there were dozens of news

cameras but it was important to get this

message one of the most controversial

issues of our time out to the world and

show that it’s ok our family is normal

we are just like any other family I was

relieved once my speech was ended but I

also felt empowered by speaking about

what was important for me our 13 month

journey came to an end

on October 6 2014 my mom texted me

during class and I promise it was a

class I was allowed to have my phone out

in I’m not a bad student

but she texted me and it said we won and

I was confused I didn’t know what that

meant but a follow-up text clarified

things she said Supreme Court denied

cert on all cases previous ruling stands

the marriage equality in Virginia I was

shocked that was a pretty exciting

moment but I didn’t exactly know what

would happen next

apparently there was plans in motion

already my parents were going to renew

their vows they had been married already

in California in 2008 outside the John

Marshall courthouse in Richmond Virginia

same-sex couples had been getting

married there all afternoon since the

decision had been dropped and of close

friend of ours now the Attorney General

Mark herring was going to be officiating

their wedding so it was a very exciting

moment now I’m not one to express my

deeper emotions I I don’t like to do

that in public very much but sometimes

there are times when you can’t hold back

what you’re feeling inside and seeing my

two moms right in front of me

proclaiming their love to everyone in

the world see I just became overwhelmed

a sob just rose up and overtook me and

suddenly I was crying in front of

everyone and it was a little

embarrassing but overall it was a really

beautiful moment because I knew that my

mom’s after months of fighting for

marriage equality as well of years of

fighting just to be treated as humans

love had finally won for them so thank

and I hope whatever happens in the next

four years love continues to win [Applause]

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