I was seven years old when I moved to
the UK with my mother the morning of my
very first day of primary school I was
ecstatic I put on my uniform pulled my
braids back put on this nice white
cotton headband put on these pretty
pearl earrings and for the finishing
touches I put on this very shiny very
cheap clear lip gloss
I was ready now this is a picture of my
sister not on our very first day of
primary school but is the earliest one
that I could find when I arrived to the
school it didn’t really dawn on me that
I would no longer be surrounded with a
bunch of people that looked like me like
I was back in the Caribbean I was in so
much shock when I walked into the
classroom to find out that I was the
only person of color in my class but
later that day when I was walking around
getting to know more and more people
getting more familiar with the faculty I
later found out that I was the only
person of color my entire school I
imagine they were very used to seeing
someone that looks so different
either I received a lot of questions
about my hair and why my skin wasn’t the
same color as theirs but one thing that
I will never forget on that very first
day of second grade was in the middle of
my English lesson I was sitting in a
little reading circle along with the
rest of my thirty classmates it was my
turn to read and in the middle of while
I was reading one of the boys asks me
are you pretty where you come from hello
my name is Jade Hodge and I’ve always
been relatively confident in my
aesthetics we hear every day it’s what’s
on the inside that counts
that an exceptional personality and
spirit is far more superior than our
physical counterparts yet it is somehow
in the majority of our superficial
nature to create a repellent around
ourselves once we encounter someone or
something that we find physically
unappealing Gordon Patzer the author of
the physical attractiveness phenomena
published in 1985 he has concluded three
decades of research on physical
attractiveness he states that human
beings are hard-wired to respond more
favorably to attractive people
good-looking men and women are generally
regarded to be more talented kind honest
and intelligent than their less
attractive counterparts he continues to
say controlled studies showed that
people go out of their way to help
attractive people of the same and
opposite sexes because they want to be
more liked and accepted by good-looking
people now regarding that the way media
encourages the dismissal of less
attractive people if you pay close
attention you’ll notice that people
considered with below average looks or
less symmetrical faces are used for the
antagonist role and I’m not talking
about the very good-looking super
villains in Marvel or The Avengers
series for example does anybody in here
watch SVU or Criminal Minds or anything
like that for those of you that do pay
really close attention to the sex
offenders the pedophiles the serial
rapists do they have nice smooth skin is
their face symmetrical do they have a
winning smile probably not sometimes
it’s not just the media’s influence
either even studies of babies show that
they will look longer and more intently
at attractive faces so when we tell
adolescents or even younger sections of
today’s youth that looks don’t matter
that’s not 100% true because how harshly
the world decides to treat them will
most likely depend on whether or not
they’re regarded as physically
attractive so what is the point that I’m
trying to make what do I want you to
understand about beauty how am i
enlighten you there’s beauty equal
attractiveness does attractiveness equal
beauty
have you ever thought to yourself that
maybe you need to redefine your
understanding of beauty my previous
facts and statements consisted of the
words attractive yes being attractive is
important and advantageous to some
extent but beauty is far more superior
and sometimes we make the mistake of
using those two words interchangeably
I’m going to help change that beauty can
be a form of behavior as well as many
other human aspects that have absolutely
nothing to do with the way that you look
there is beauty in a person’s ability to
connect with other people especially
those that represent lesser intelligence
such as babies if you can empathize and
connect with people on an intimate level
bring out the utmost happiness and those
around you and display a noticeable
amount of intelligence yet modesty that
will overpower whatever level of
physical attractiveness that you may
conceive for example ladies have you
ever looked at a guy or a man and
thought to yourself
meh but then you see him being so nice
with the baby making them laugh having
fun and then think you know maybe I
judged him a little bit too much before
he’s actually kind of good-looking well
if you haven’t I have definitely beauty
stretches way farther than most of us
give it credit for there is more within
a human being than the size of their
lips the length of their hair the
whiteness and straightness of their
teeth the color of their skin open your
eyes people forgive me
open your ears open your minds and open
your hearts I bet you’re wondering what
I said to that boy who asked if I was
pretty back in the Caribbean
well I looked around completely numb by
the question confused as if there was
anyone else he could possibly be talking
to the teacher opened her mouth but
before she could intervene I said I
don’t really know but I guess not I
think nobody really cares and he says
well I think you’re pretty and I say
really why is that and he says because
he looked different I never understood
what on earth he was talking about all I
took from that situation at the time was
you know cooties a boy thinks I’m pretty
that was until recently when I sat down
with one of the faculty members at my
school we were speaking on a topic
similar to this and she says coming here
been called exotic I’ve received so many
compliments on my physique but back
where I’m from in Peru
I’m just any other women there’s nothing
special
I found this extremely interesting
she is constantly being commented
complimented based on her ethnic
differences she continues to say but I
don’t think it has anything to do with
me personally it is the pursuit of the
infrequent we crave it the proceed oh
the infrequent what does that even mean
well when we adjust ourselves to an
aesthetic norm it is very erotic and
confusing to suddenly see an experience
an aesthetic that we’re simply not used
to seeing or experiencing keep in mind
that when it comes to pursuing the
infrequent there is a proper way to do
it pulling my hair to see if it’s real
or if it will hurt please don’t do that
I remember when I was in the fifth grade
I was still living in the UK I was
sitting on the floor in the Great Hall
where assembly was being held I remember
feeling someone playing with my hair now
back then I was in a Catholic school and
if your hair was lower than the length
of your shoulders then you’re supposed
to wearing up but I was feeling pretty
rebellious that day so I left it down
and she was playing with it and I didn’t
really mind you know it felt kind of
nice and out of nowhere she just Yanks
it with all of her strength and in the
middle of assembly I just screamed at
the top of my lungs ow
and I remember turning round just to see
a very startled wide-eyed girl I say to
her why did you do that and she says it
was just so interesting I was just
messing with it I didn’t think you would
feel it and and you know at the time I
was angry I didn’t understand she just
yanked my hair my hair could have
falling out but now I realized she was
just pursuing being frequent just in the
wrong way but appreciating beauty within
where somebody comes from by showing
interest trying to get to know them by
asking questions oh my goodness where do
you come from what’s your ethnic
background can I touch your hair there
you go
so what is beauty simple it’s all around
you it’s people dedicating their lives
to aiding them as fortunate it is going
up to someone and making them laugh just
cuz there is beauty between you and I
connecting through our differences there
is beauty within diversity the pursuit
of the infrequent done in the correct
way yes there are perks to being
physically attractive but beauty is not
just skin deep it travels to the inner
core of who you are into the vulnerable
areas of your soul
there’s a difference there is beauty in
your intellect and personality there is
beauty and where you come from
so what if looks do matter God never
makes mistakes
so whatever insecurities that you may
have there are the exact same things
that make you different therefore make
you beautiful so learn to love them I
will constantly be changing my
definition of beauty because as I grow
and I meet more people and I learn about
the beautiful complexity of beauty so I
will ask you one more time have you changed your definition of beauty
the UK with my mother the morning of my
very first day of primary school I was
ecstatic I put on my uniform pulled my
braids back put on this nice white
cotton headband put on these pretty
pearl earrings and for the finishing
touches I put on this very shiny very
cheap clear lip gloss
I was ready now this is a picture of my
sister not on our very first day of
primary school but is the earliest one
that I could find when I arrived to the
school it didn’t really dawn on me that
I would no longer be surrounded with a
bunch of people that looked like me like
I was back in the Caribbean I was in so
much shock when I walked into the
classroom to find out that I was the
only person of color in my class but
later that day when I was walking around
getting to know more and more people
getting more familiar with the faculty I
later found out that I was the only
person of color my entire school I
imagine they were very used to seeing
someone that looks so different
either I received a lot of questions
about my hair and why my skin wasn’t the
same color as theirs but one thing that
I will never forget on that very first
day of second grade was in the middle of
my English lesson I was sitting in a
little reading circle along with the
rest of my thirty classmates it was my
turn to read and in the middle of while
I was reading one of the boys asks me
are you pretty where you come from hello
my name is Jade Hodge and I’ve always
been relatively confident in my
aesthetics we hear every day it’s what’s
on the inside that counts
that an exceptional personality and
spirit is far more superior than our
physical counterparts yet it is somehow
in the majority of our superficial
nature to create a repellent around
ourselves once we encounter someone or
something that we find physically
unappealing Gordon Patzer the author of
the physical attractiveness phenomena
published in 1985 he has concluded three
decades of research on physical
attractiveness he states that human
beings are hard-wired to respond more
favorably to attractive people
good-looking men and women are generally
regarded to be more talented kind honest
and intelligent than their less
attractive counterparts he continues to
say controlled studies showed that
people go out of their way to help
attractive people of the same and
opposite sexes because they want to be
more liked and accepted by good-looking
people now regarding that the way media
encourages the dismissal of less
attractive people if you pay close
attention you’ll notice that people
considered with below average looks or
less symmetrical faces are used for the
antagonist role and I’m not talking
about the very good-looking super
villains in Marvel or The Avengers
series for example does anybody in here
watch SVU or Criminal Minds or anything
like that for those of you that do pay
really close attention to the sex
offenders the pedophiles the serial
rapists do they have nice smooth skin is
their face symmetrical do they have a
winning smile probably not sometimes
it’s not just the media’s influence
either even studies of babies show that
they will look longer and more intently
at attractive faces so when we tell
adolescents or even younger sections of
today’s youth that looks don’t matter
that’s not 100% true because how harshly
the world decides to treat them will
most likely depend on whether or not
they’re regarded as physically
attractive so what is the point that I’m
trying to make what do I want you to
understand about beauty how am i
enlighten you there’s beauty equal
attractiveness does attractiveness equal
beauty
have you ever thought to yourself that
maybe you need to redefine your
understanding of beauty my previous
facts and statements consisted of the
words attractive yes being attractive is
important and advantageous to some
extent but beauty is far more superior
and sometimes we make the mistake of
using those two words interchangeably
I’m going to help change that beauty can
be a form of behavior as well as many
other human aspects that have absolutely
nothing to do with the way that you look
there is beauty in a person’s ability to
connect with other people especially
those that represent lesser intelligence
such as babies if you can empathize and
connect with people on an intimate level
bring out the utmost happiness and those
around you and display a noticeable
amount of intelligence yet modesty that
will overpower whatever level of
physical attractiveness that you may
conceive for example ladies have you
ever looked at a guy or a man and
thought to yourself
meh but then you see him being so nice
with the baby making them laugh having
fun and then think you know maybe I
judged him a little bit too much before
he’s actually kind of good-looking well
if you haven’t I have definitely beauty
stretches way farther than most of us
give it credit for there is more within
a human being than the size of their
lips the length of their hair the
whiteness and straightness of their
teeth the color of their skin open your
eyes people forgive me
open your ears open your minds and open
your hearts I bet you’re wondering what
I said to that boy who asked if I was
pretty back in the Caribbean
well I looked around completely numb by
the question confused as if there was
anyone else he could possibly be talking
to the teacher opened her mouth but
before she could intervene I said I
don’t really know but I guess not I
think nobody really cares and he says
well I think you’re pretty and I say
really why is that and he says because
he looked different I never understood
what on earth he was talking about all I
took from that situation at the time was
you know cooties a boy thinks I’m pretty
that was until recently when I sat down
with one of the faculty members at my
school we were speaking on a topic
similar to this and she says coming here
been called exotic I’ve received so many
compliments on my physique but back
where I’m from in Peru
I’m just any other women there’s nothing
special
I found this extremely interesting
she is constantly being commented
complimented based on her ethnic
differences she continues to say but I
don’t think it has anything to do with
me personally it is the pursuit of the
infrequent we crave it the proceed oh
the infrequent what does that even mean
well when we adjust ourselves to an
aesthetic norm it is very erotic and
confusing to suddenly see an experience
an aesthetic that we’re simply not used
to seeing or experiencing keep in mind
that when it comes to pursuing the
infrequent there is a proper way to do
it pulling my hair to see if it’s real
or if it will hurt please don’t do that
I remember when I was in the fifth grade
I was still living in the UK I was
sitting on the floor in the Great Hall
where assembly was being held I remember
feeling someone playing with my hair now
back then I was in a Catholic school and
if your hair was lower than the length
of your shoulders then you’re supposed
to wearing up but I was feeling pretty
rebellious that day so I left it down
and she was playing with it and I didn’t
really mind you know it felt kind of
nice and out of nowhere she just Yanks
it with all of her strength and in the
middle of assembly I just screamed at
the top of my lungs ow
and I remember turning round just to see
a very startled wide-eyed girl I say to
her why did you do that and she says it
was just so interesting I was just
messing with it I didn’t think you would
feel it and and you know at the time I
was angry I didn’t understand she just
yanked my hair my hair could have
falling out but now I realized she was
just pursuing being frequent just in the
wrong way but appreciating beauty within
where somebody comes from by showing
interest trying to get to know them by
asking questions oh my goodness where do
you come from what’s your ethnic
background can I touch your hair there
you go
so what is beauty simple it’s all around
you it’s people dedicating their lives
to aiding them as fortunate it is going
up to someone and making them laugh just
cuz there is beauty between you and I
connecting through our differences there
is beauty within diversity the pursuit
of the infrequent done in the correct
way yes there are perks to being
physically attractive but beauty is not
just skin deep it travels to the inner
core of who you are into the vulnerable
areas of your soul
there’s a difference there is beauty in
your intellect and personality there is
beauty and where you come from
so what if looks do matter God never
makes mistakes
so whatever insecurities that you may
have there are the exact same things
that make you different therefore make
you beautiful so learn to love them I
will constantly be changing my
definition of beauty because as I grow
and I meet more people and I learn about
the beautiful complexity of beauty so I
will ask you one more time have you changed your definition of beauty
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