a while ago I was selected for a
position one that I really wanted but
that I was unqualified for I was nervous
and sick to my stomach
I had no idea what I was gonna say when
I came face to face with my boss for the
first time well the doctor said after 18
hours of labor your little boss has
arrived he is six pounds and 13 ounces
with the full head of hair don’t worry
he’s gonna teach you everything you need
to know it’s all on-the-job training
have you guys ever heard that saying
that having kids means your heart will
officially be walking outside of your
body well it’s true
and mine was I took one look at this kid
and I knew that my happiness would be
forever
links up to his I was I once in love
with him and also terrified that he was
about to figure out that his mom had no
idea what she was doing as if on cue my
son’s big brown eyes stared up at me and
I started thinking can he like
telepathically here every admission of
incompetence I’m making because he gaped
at me like woman please tell me you are
since giving birth to our son we have
had two more daughters and now I feel
like my heart’s walking outside my body
three times over so for the past decade
I’ve been on this mission to see is
there a way for me to maximize the odds
that my kids will grow up happy so I
started researching this area of human
development and happiness and I came
across this quote from psychologist Ori
bronfenbrenner and here’s a quote every
child needs at least one adult who’s
irrationally crazy about them in order
to grow up happy well I’m a control
freak so I got this info and I’m
thinking that’s great because now I have
a road map and I have something to
dissect so let’s get started now parents
we’re admittedly crazy about our kids
but that’s not an irrational love we’re
hardwired to nurture care for and
protect our kids
there is nothing irrational about that
if you go up to someone and say hey I
love my kid you’re not going to get a
pat on the back for that that’s expected
of you so where do we find this adult
irrational love well all signs seem to
be pointing to intergenerational
friendships particularly between kids
and older adults and I do mean
friendships peer-to-peer relationships
I’m not talking about the ones with the
power and balance with the kid down here
in the adult up here I’m talking about
equal footing friendships because of
these friendships can improve long-term
happiness in both groups so how does
this work well let’s break the topic
down and start by talking about kids and
the challenges that they face today this
generation of kids is the first
generation that has no idea what life is
like without the Internet they literally
hold technology in the palm of their
hands and they have access to tons of
social media accounts and people and yet
the incidence of isolation loneliness
depression and anxiety have nearly
doubled since the 1980s and
about school bullies when I was growing
up in the 80s I was the magnet for
school bullies and I still have the
scars to prove it
not much has changed in the world of
bullying the one big difference though
is that there is no off button so this
harassment that starts at school it goes
and follows kids online and it haunts
them 24/7 and it leaves a mark on them
that is physical mental and public and
although a lot of these kids have the
most loving family members sometimes
kids have a hard time turning to their
immediate family because they feel
self-conscious or embarrassed or ashamed
that was me and at the same time they
don’t have the same support system that
they used to have the American
Sociological review states that in the
eighties kids had on average around
three friends they could count on today
that number has fallen from one friend
to know one now here are three more
facts you need to hear about kids
growing up today number one isolation
and loneliness start early up to twelve
percent of kindergarteners and first
graders report feeling lonely at school
every day
number two JAMA Pediatrics tracked over
a thousand children from birth to 26
years old and what they found is that
lonely childhoods can lead to less
healthy adulthood and even shortened
lifespans and finally number three the
CDC Centers for Disease Control came out
with the report in 2015 that stated that
20% to 0% of teens in this country
between the ages of 15 and 19 have
considered suicide these statistics are
alarming and we can’t stand back and
watch them continue to escalate we need
a letter kids know hey you guys matter
you’re being heard and there is a
support system out there for you now
technology is great but technology’s not
going to give us that support system
people have to do that
so where do we find these people with
the time passion commitment and skill to
engage in friendships there are not just
nice to have but absolutely critical to
children’s well-being well the answer is
actually right in front of us every day
over eleven thousand Americans are
turning 65 years old in this country and
the average life expectancy has
increased by thirty two years since 1900
these super adults are the best resource
that we have so why is it that we
haven’t jumped on this opportunity
already part of the problem seems to be
that a lot of us right off this entire
population of super adults and we slap
these ridiculous labels on them calling
them tired or frail or useless nothing
could be further from the truth you guys
let’s just take a look at a couple of
the many many super adults we know in
the public eye
someone like Betty White who’s 96 years
old and she’s one of the country’s most
popular comedians or Tony Bennett he’s
91 he’s rocking out with Lady gaga
he’s selling out shows and he’s putting
on these amazing performances many of
which do not even start until an hour
after I have gone to sleep so if he’s
considered tired I just don’t know where
that leads me the point here is that
super adults they’re creative they’re
kind they’re extremely smart and best of
all good with kids just ask the kid hey
would you rather hang out with your
parent or a grandparent parents are
going to lose that battle every single
time now here’s the cool thing about
this concept of intergenerational
friendships not only can it benefit kids
but it can benefit super adults just as
much now I gave you guys three stats on
kids a minute ago here’s three things
you should hear about super adults
number one up to 43 percent of super
adults report feeling lonely number to a
lonely super adult has a 59% higher risk
of physical and cognitive to
line compared to their more social
counterparts and finally number three a
lack of adequate social interaction can
increase your chance of premature death
by nearly twice as much so put this
another way
our inability or unwillingness to
communicate is actually killing us one
of the seniors who I interviewed for my
research said to me do you want to know
what the hardest thing is about growing
old the hardest thing is that I have to
watch as my world around me dies out and
the people who are left oftentimes don’t
care about me and they write me off by
encouraging kids to hang out with super
adults and form friendships we can make
sure that that statement is not true for
other super adults in the future things
like loneliness isolation depression and
anxiety are common in both generations
so why not have them join forces so they
can help each other now this all sounds
good on paper but I did have a question
I thought to myself well how is this
gonna play out in real life or these two
generations really gonna have anything
in common so I did some independent
research and I’m gonna share my findings
with you but what I came to realize is
that these generations have a lot more
in common than I initially thought and
they seem to think on the same
wavelength now I’m gonna show you some
worksheets I gave the kids over the
summer just trying to keep their brains
now what do you do with that I don’t
even know now I’m gonna show you the
same worksheet same question same
answers different grader this time the
the moral of this story is that I should
never write another worksheet ever again
now I wanted to show you what some super
adults have been up to online just to
show you that just like the younger
generation they say what’s on their mind
and there’s nothing wrong with that so
for some of you who might be way in the
back these are from Facebook and I’ll
read it to you in case you can’t see all
the way back there mary says to
Josephine Joe I don’t want you to take
this the wrong way but I’m going on
front you from my facebook because I got
16 posts from you in the last two days
it’s too many for me so I wanted you to
know the reason if you guys use Facebook
you’ll see that Josephine doesn’t really
give up beep because she thumbed up this
and the next one is from the Hampshire
Police Department they took to Facebook
because they needed to publicize an
image of a suspect as a indecent
exposure incidents and one of the super
adults though she had a question and she
said well if you want to speak to him
why didn’t you speak to him when you
so I wanted to show you guys what a
marriage of kids and super adults looks
like this next one is from a boy who
really loves his older dad so here I
[Music]
how sweet hey and I have one more for
you guys this kid might just be the next
big thing in greeting card executives
he even framed it so I saw that picture
frame and I said I’m done with my
research I have seen everything I need
to see
I know these generations are gonna get
along just fine now on a more serious
note I’ve come to terms with the fact
that my heart is always gonna be walking
outside of my body that’s my reality and
it’s the reality for many of you and I’m
gonna continue to worry about this
loneliness epidemic but worry is not
always a bad thing because it can
motivate us to take action now
face-to-face friendships are always
ideal but it’s not always practical for
us to get in the car and drive across
town I get that so for those of you who
happen to be busy I have an alternative
solution for you and ironically enough
that alternative solution involves the
internet now even though the Internet
has possibly contributed to this growing
sense of isolation that many of us feel
it could also hold the key to fixing it
by encouraging kids and super adults to
get to know each other online through
Skype or Facebook or even FaceTime we
can encourage these groups to really
form some solid friendships my own kids
have been skyping online with members of
a senior living facility and there has
also been awesome finding a common bonds
never been an issue for them in fact
it’s usually me who has to intervene
after half an hour 45 minutes has gone
by and I’m like you guys need to get off
this Paul we have to go somewhere and I
get these looks like disapproving faces
not just for my kids but from the super
adults on the other end of the line but
what that tells me is that there’s a
real friendship there and that’s what my
kids have taught me that friendship is
ageless if we just allow it to be a
while back one of the kids was asking me
about the scars on my shoulder wanted to
know what happened and I said the short
story is when I was a kid I went through
a rough patch I didn’t know who to turn
to
well is that gonna happen to me am I
gonna get those same scars I thought
about all the friends
my kids had their really good
grandfather friend from karate or the
entire circle of seniors from the Senior
Center and I said sir
I said to her I said you know what I
don’t think this will happen to you
because the second you’re feeling upset
and the moment you need friends to lean
on you have this whole army of super
adults ready and willing to help you
when you guys get together you’re
unstoppable our kids our hearts that are
walking outside of our bodies they
deserve better than what they’re getting
they don’t deserve to fall prey to these
loneliness and suicide statistics any
longer it’s time for us to get up and do
something about it especially because
there’s a feasible solution in sight and
that answer is connecting the two
generations well how do you do that you
can start by taking easy steps just say
hi to your much older or much younger
neighbor and if someone looks like
they’re in dire need of attention take
two seconds and just say hey how are you
doing and if your kid wants to hang out
with their 89 year old neighbor let them
human connection is so vital to our
happiness that we need to make it a
priority to take care of all the
relationships we have in our life and go
out and forge new ones where they never
existed because that’s how we’re gonna
leave a mark and that’s how we’re gonna
leave a legacy there is a saying the
ending a war is simple if you surrender
I’m asking every single one of you
refuse to surrender for our kids sake
and for our own encourage the younger
and older generations to connect with
one another yeah it might be a little
awkward and inconvenient at first change
usually is but if we can push ourselves
to see intergenerational friendships in
a new light all of us will end up
happier as a result thank you you
position one that I really wanted but
that I was unqualified for I was nervous
and sick to my stomach
I had no idea what I was gonna say when
I came face to face with my boss for the
first time well the doctor said after 18
hours of labor your little boss has
arrived he is six pounds and 13 ounces
with the full head of hair don’t worry
he’s gonna teach you everything you need
to know it’s all on-the-job training
have you guys ever heard that saying
that having kids means your heart will
officially be walking outside of your
body well it’s true
and mine was I took one look at this kid
and I knew that my happiness would be
forever
links up to his I was I once in love
with him and also terrified that he was
about to figure out that his mom had no
idea what she was doing as if on cue my
son’s big brown eyes stared up at me and
I started thinking can he like
telepathically here every admission of
incompetence I’m making because he gaped
at me like woman please tell me you are
since giving birth to our son we have
had two more daughters and now I feel
like my heart’s walking outside my body
three times over so for the past decade
I’ve been on this mission to see is
there a way for me to maximize the odds
that my kids will grow up happy so I
started researching this area of human
development and happiness and I came
across this quote from psychologist Ori
bronfenbrenner and here’s a quote every
child needs at least one adult who’s
irrationally crazy about them in order
to grow up happy well I’m a control
freak so I got this info and I’m
thinking that’s great because now I have
a road map and I have something to
dissect so let’s get started now parents
we’re admittedly crazy about our kids
but that’s not an irrational love we’re
hardwired to nurture care for and
protect our kids
there is nothing irrational about that
if you go up to someone and say hey I
love my kid you’re not going to get a
pat on the back for that that’s expected
of you so where do we find this adult
irrational love well all signs seem to
be pointing to intergenerational
friendships particularly between kids
and older adults and I do mean
friendships peer-to-peer relationships
I’m not talking about the ones with the
power and balance with the kid down here
in the adult up here I’m talking about
equal footing friendships because of
these friendships can improve long-term
happiness in both groups so how does
this work well let’s break the topic
down and start by talking about kids and
the challenges that they face today this
generation of kids is the first
generation that has no idea what life is
like without the Internet they literally
hold technology in the palm of their
hands and they have access to tons of
social media accounts and people and yet
the incidence of isolation loneliness
depression and anxiety have nearly
doubled since the 1980s and
about school bullies when I was growing
up in the 80s I was the magnet for
school bullies and I still have the
scars to prove it
not much has changed in the world of
bullying the one big difference though
is that there is no off button so this
harassment that starts at school it goes
and follows kids online and it haunts
them 24/7 and it leaves a mark on them
that is physical mental and public and
although a lot of these kids have the
most loving family members sometimes
kids have a hard time turning to their
immediate family because they feel
self-conscious or embarrassed or ashamed
that was me and at the same time they
don’t have the same support system that
they used to have the American
Sociological review states that in the
eighties kids had on average around
three friends they could count on today
that number has fallen from one friend
to know one now here are three more
facts you need to hear about kids
growing up today number one isolation
and loneliness start early up to twelve
percent of kindergarteners and first
graders report feeling lonely at school
every day
number two JAMA Pediatrics tracked over
a thousand children from birth to 26
years old and what they found is that
lonely childhoods can lead to less
healthy adulthood and even shortened
lifespans and finally number three the
CDC Centers for Disease Control came out
with the report in 2015 that stated that
20% to 0% of teens in this country
between the ages of 15 and 19 have
considered suicide these statistics are
alarming and we can’t stand back and
watch them continue to escalate we need
a letter kids know hey you guys matter
you’re being heard and there is a
support system out there for you now
technology is great but technology’s not
going to give us that support system
people have to do that
so where do we find these people with
the time passion commitment and skill to
engage in friendships there are not just
nice to have but absolutely critical to
children’s well-being well the answer is
actually right in front of us every day
over eleven thousand Americans are
turning 65 years old in this country and
the average life expectancy has
increased by thirty two years since 1900
these super adults are the best resource
that we have so why is it that we
haven’t jumped on this opportunity
already part of the problem seems to be
that a lot of us right off this entire
population of super adults and we slap
these ridiculous labels on them calling
them tired or frail or useless nothing
could be further from the truth you guys
let’s just take a look at a couple of
the many many super adults we know in
the public eye
someone like Betty White who’s 96 years
old and she’s one of the country’s most
popular comedians or Tony Bennett he’s
91 he’s rocking out with Lady gaga
he’s selling out shows and he’s putting
on these amazing performances many of
which do not even start until an hour
after I have gone to sleep so if he’s
considered tired I just don’t know where
that leads me the point here is that
super adults they’re creative they’re
kind they’re extremely smart and best of
all good with kids just ask the kid hey
would you rather hang out with your
parent or a grandparent parents are
going to lose that battle every single
time now here’s the cool thing about
this concept of intergenerational
friendships not only can it benefit kids
but it can benefit super adults just as
much now I gave you guys three stats on
kids a minute ago here’s three things
you should hear about super adults
number one up to 43 percent of super
adults report feeling lonely number to a
lonely super adult has a 59% higher risk
of physical and cognitive to
line compared to their more social
counterparts and finally number three a
lack of adequate social interaction can
increase your chance of premature death
by nearly twice as much so put this
another way
our inability or unwillingness to
communicate is actually killing us one
of the seniors who I interviewed for my
research said to me do you want to know
what the hardest thing is about growing
old the hardest thing is that I have to
watch as my world around me dies out and
the people who are left oftentimes don’t
care about me and they write me off by
encouraging kids to hang out with super
adults and form friendships we can make
sure that that statement is not true for
other super adults in the future things
like loneliness isolation depression and
anxiety are common in both generations
so why not have them join forces so they
can help each other now this all sounds
good on paper but I did have a question
I thought to myself well how is this
gonna play out in real life or these two
generations really gonna have anything
in common so I did some independent
research and I’m gonna share my findings
with you but what I came to realize is
that these generations have a lot more
in common than I initially thought and
they seem to think on the same
wavelength now I’m gonna show you some
worksheets I gave the kids over the
summer just trying to keep their brains
now what do you do with that I don’t
even know now I’m gonna show you the
same worksheet same question same
answers different grader this time the
the moral of this story is that I should
never write another worksheet ever again
now I wanted to show you what some super
adults have been up to online just to
show you that just like the younger
generation they say what’s on their mind
and there’s nothing wrong with that so
for some of you who might be way in the
back these are from Facebook and I’ll
read it to you in case you can’t see all
the way back there mary says to
Josephine Joe I don’t want you to take
this the wrong way but I’m going on
front you from my facebook because I got
16 posts from you in the last two days
it’s too many for me so I wanted you to
know the reason if you guys use Facebook
you’ll see that Josephine doesn’t really
give up beep because she thumbed up this
and the next one is from the Hampshire
Police Department they took to Facebook
because they needed to publicize an
image of a suspect as a indecent
exposure incidents and one of the super
adults though she had a question and she
said well if you want to speak to him
why didn’t you speak to him when you
so I wanted to show you guys what a
marriage of kids and super adults looks
like this next one is from a boy who
really loves his older dad so here I
[Music]
how sweet hey and I have one more for
you guys this kid might just be the next
big thing in greeting card executives
he even framed it so I saw that picture
frame and I said I’m done with my
research I have seen everything I need
to see
I know these generations are gonna get
along just fine now on a more serious
note I’ve come to terms with the fact
that my heart is always gonna be walking
outside of my body that’s my reality and
it’s the reality for many of you and I’m
gonna continue to worry about this
loneliness epidemic but worry is not
always a bad thing because it can
motivate us to take action now
face-to-face friendships are always
ideal but it’s not always practical for
us to get in the car and drive across
town I get that so for those of you who
happen to be busy I have an alternative
solution for you and ironically enough
that alternative solution involves the
internet now even though the Internet
has possibly contributed to this growing
sense of isolation that many of us feel
it could also hold the key to fixing it
by encouraging kids and super adults to
get to know each other online through
Skype or Facebook or even FaceTime we
can encourage these groups to really
form some solid friendships my own kids
have been skyping online with members of
a senior living facility and there has
also been awesome finding a common bonds
never been an issue for them in fact
it’s usually me who has to intervene
after half an hour 45 minutes has gone
by and I’m like you guys need to get off
this Paul we have to go somewhere and I
get these looks like disapproving faces
not just for my kids but from the super
adults on the other end of the line but
what that tells me is that there’s a
real friendship there and that’s what my
kids have taught me that friendship is
ageless if we just allow it to be a
while back one of the kids was asking me
about the scars on my shoulder wanted to
know what happened and I said the short
story is when I was a kid I went through
a rough patch I didn’t know who to turn
to
well is that gonna happen to me am I
gonna get those same scars I thought
about all the friends
my kids had their really good
grandfather friend from karate or the
entire circle of seniors from the Senior
Center and I said sir
I said to her I said you know what I
don’t think this will happen to you
because the second you’re feeling upset
and the moment you need friends to lean
on you have this whole army of super
adults ready and willing to help you
when you guys get together you’re
unstoppable our kids our hearts that are
walking outside of our bodies they
deserve better than what they’re getting
they don’t deserve to fall prey to these
loneliness and suicide statistics any
longer it’s time for us to get up and do
something about it especially because
there’s a feasible solution in sight and
that answer is connecting the two
generations well how do you do that you
can start by taking easy steps just say
hi to your much older or much younger
neighbor and if someone looks like
they’re in dire need of attention take
two seconds and just say hey how are you
doing and if your kid wants to hang out
with their 89 year old neighbor let them
human connection is so vital to our
happiness that we need to make it a
priority to take care of all the
relationships we have in our life and go
out and forge new ones where they never
existed because that’s how we’re gonna
leave a mark and that’s how we’re gonna
leave a legacy there is a saying the
ending a war is simple if you surrender
I’m asking every single one of you
refuse to surrender for our kids sake
and for our own encourage the younger
and older generations to connect with
one another yeah it might be a little
awkward and inconvenient at first change
usually is but if we can push ourselves
to see intergenerational friendships in
a new light all of us will end up
happier as a result thank you you
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