and thank you for inviting me to speak
this morning so I’m gonna pose a
question this morning and the question
is how do i define successful mentoring
let me start by giving you a short
answer to that question the short answer
is successful mentoring to me is making
a commitment to help someone that will
be translated into a help for others
down the line and what I want to do is I
want to tell you ten short stories about
people that I’ve mentored to illustrate
how this occurs some of my words some of
their words sometimes the words of
others to tell these stories and then
tie it together with what this all means
so let me begin since I’m the vice dean
for education at the Carey Business
School I wanted to start by talking
about an MBA student am i mentoring with
this MBA student emerged organically
over time and it wasn’t even planned
Taylor was a full-time MBA student in
our program and she was the student of
my health care financing class she also
helped to run a one-day activity for
middle school and high school students
through the University’s Center for
talented youth and those students might
be interested in business so a year ago
she finally landed her dream job and at
the end of the year I was sending notes
to people about my most memorable
experience with them during 2016 and I
said to Taylor the most memorable thing
with you this year was being invited to
your departure dinner from Baltimore she
wrote back telling me that that was one
of the most thoughtful notes anyone had
ever written to her and she said that’s
not all in my experience when I was
looking for a job and I had turned one
position down and having a hard time you
not only invited me to networking
breakfasts
like what you see here but you also
stayed on top of my job search process
and really helped me you offered me
advice one piece of advice I offered was
you know Taylor I’ve known lots of
people who have taken a long time to
find their first job and usually when
they finally find it after that waiting
they’re happy because they love the job
that they found so it’s okay and she
said that I had made her feel like she
wasn’t a loser which was how she was
feeling at the time and they had given
her confidence back now I know whether I
deserve all that much credit for what I
did which just seemed like it was
natural thing to do
but I appreciated her recognition of the
difference that I’d made for her when I
was talking with Taylor about giving
this
today she said you also have to tell
them about what you’ve done for Lauren
it’s not any much encouragement to talk
about Lauren Lauren is a young attorney
I met Lauren a number of years ago and
for the past four years week in and week
out we’ve run together almost every week
for an hour at a time
and during that time we spend a whole
lot of time talking about all kinds of
things in life and what started out as
just a fun running friendship has turned
into true mentorship I’ve invited her to
networking breakfasts she’s come and
seen how I’ve just Liat led my life and
as a parent as a professor as someone in
the community and I’ve had the
opportunity to introduce her to people
like say another parent on the hockey
team who’s also an attorney and help
Lauren see what might come next so
Taylor is not the only one who’s told me
how important I am in helping Lauren I
introduced Lauren to a colleague they
went out to one of the best ice cream
shops and Baltimore and had a
conversation colleague tells me
afterwards it’s clear how much your
relationship matters to learn and it’s a
gift
Carlin mother said that she appreciated
how much I was there for Lauren and how
Lauren appreciated my coming to see her
law school graduation and being sworn in
to the State Bar Lauren herself when I
introduced her to someone is someone
with whom I run she quickly added and on
someone who Kevin Mentors
and on the day she got sworn in to the
bar she introduced me to the judge for
whom she’s clerking and said this is one
of my mentors that repeated introduction
as mentor meant an awful lot to me to
hear how important that was and it
really made true that it’s in giving
that I received something back now
Lara’s not the only one who’s introduced
me as mentor in a way that meant a lot
to me
this is Kelsey I met Kelsey when she was
in high school she’s a flute player she
left for college in the fall of 2014 and
I’ve seen her just twice since then most
recent time just before the new year
this year and I saw her play at a
benefit concert I went up to talk Terry
afterwards and she introduced me saying
Kevin is one of the biggest mentors I’ve
ever had again that wasn’t how I got to
know her originally so that was very
meaningful to me and I responded with
her by email afterwards as she said you
know you’ve always supported me you’ve
been a great help and even though we
don’t see each other in person all it
often you still a very positive
influence on my life so that meant a lot
now it’s not only in my
personal life that I end up with
unplanned mentoring some of the people
who report directly to me I just manage
but this is Mindy and Mindy is someone
who I truly had a chance to mentor we’ve
each had numerous serendipitous turns in
our career that turned out for the
better and one of those turns brought us
together to work on the school’s
accreditation so two years day in and
day out we worked to get the school
ready for accreditation and we were
successful and at the end of that set of
activities I said to her you know Mindy
I’m glad I had a chance to work with you
and open up your eyes to all kinds of
things you might not have even seen in
your career before his new possibilities
and she appreciated the mentoring that
I’d provided as well one of the things
that I did was I forced a meeting with
someone who has a job similar to hers
but at the university level rather than
the school level and it wasn’t the first
time she met this person but we’ve got
to talk about big picture strategy what
might come next and we at least alluded
to mentoring now this other person
didn’t say of course I’ll mentor you
Mindy but afterwards I talked with Mindy
and I said you know go meet her a few
more times
see if she offers you advice see if what
might begin as an informal mentoring
could evolve into something as you go
along and Mindy appreciated getting that
advice recognizing that people don’t
always jump at the first opportunity to
mentor someone else I just hope I get to
continue working with her continuing
mentoring her and continue to find other
people who might meant to her so she can
be all that she aspires to be in her
career this is Elizabeth another
workplace example when I got promoted to
full professor when I was back at the
Bloomberg School of Public Health
I recognized they gave me great
mentoring when I was an assistant
professor great mentoring as an
associate professor but no mentoring
when you’re a full professor and so
Elizabeth and I talked to each other and
she was a couple years ahead of me in
her career he said you know maybe we
should be peer mentors so now we see
each other maybe just once or twice a
year in person for coffee or lunch but
we recognize that the other is no more
than a phone call away if we need advice
on something and we’ve done that
multiple times she’s helped me think
about what might be my next step after
vice dean and how might I get there and
I’ve helped her think about maybe she
doesn’t need to become the next thing
maybe she can just keep doing what she’s
doing now but do it better and in new
ways mentor more PhD students mentor
more junior faculty bring together
research
in different areas to make connections
that wouldn’t have been made before and
have her impact that way so those are
interesting relationships that emerged
organically sometimes relationships are
set up to be mentoring in the first
place this is Molly
Molly’s an undergraduate senior in the
economics department at Johns Hopkins
she was introduced to me by one of her
friends with a phrase like Kevin’s
somebody who’s always great to talk to
again a flattering way to be introduced
to someone and Molly and I have had a
couple in-person conversations the first
one was an hour she said here’s my set
of interest helped me think about this
and I did and then a couple months later
so I’m having an existential crisis I
don’t know what I’m gonna do after I
graduate we probably all felt that way
at some point and we talked and I set
her up to talk to one of my former PhD
students who is an economist working in
the real world and that helps her to get
an understanding of what do economists
really do once they have their degrees
recently she had a opportunity to
interview with a firm that actually
works in health economics she got the
job offer and it’s looking like she’s
going to move to Denver to take the job
so it was nice to be able to have that
impact now she’s not the only
undergraduate I mentor I mentor to
undergraduates at Penn State my
undergraduate alma mater
this is ramesha I first met Maurice at
Rome ISA when she was introduced on the
old Schreyer Honors College Dean’s
Facebook page started in Bangladesh came
to Penn State at one of their branch
campuses eventually moved to their main
campus she’s a biomedical engineering
major and I wrote her I found her in the
Penn State directory wrote a little
email to her said how are you doing now
that you’ve you know gotten all this
attention she said you know I’m still
having my ups and downs I said okay well
you know I can try to be an informal
mentor for you so for the last year
we’ve corresponded you know I’ve helped
her to remain confident about what’s
going to come next
I’ve helped her to see what
opportunities there may be with her
degree and she’s you know very happy to
have someone just bounce ideas off of
I’ve also introduced her to my other
undergraduate personal mentor and this
is marine marine was introduced to me
through a formal Honors College
mentoring process as an alumnus of the
Honors College and the first time I
talked to the range said you just make
me feel completely comfortable when I’m
talking to you again that’s a very
flattering statement to hear about
myself and I
she ate that feed back and she said she
had other mentors who hadn’t made her
feel that way in the six months or so
that we’ve been corresponding back and
forth I also did a Skype session with
her where I helped her anticipate what
types of questions she might get in her
interviews for her summer internships
that she’s gotten a couple offers from
those so again I am very glad that I was
able to make that difference now I have
a history of mentoring people in the
Schreyer Honors College and this is
Rachel Rachel is one of the first people
I ever mentored in the Schreyer Honors
College introduced to her in the fall of
2009 first time I met her in person I
was up at Penn State met her after a
class we’re walking to the ice cream
store on campus and she tells me I want
to be a bio behavioral health and music
composition double major and become a
physician so I have to admit I scratched
my head for a moment on that one and I
said so what do you want to do open up a
music therapy practice someday she kind
of chuckled at that and I said you know
I’m just trying to open your eyes to how
you might make connections in ways you
hadn’t thought about otherwise she
appreciated that and after many
discussions and many decisions she
actually evolved over time to take a job
at a professional organization that does
Health Services Research and policy
which is what I was doing when I met her
I didn’t force her down that path but I
was honored to serve as a guide as she
went down that path and evolved over
time and she appreciates the almost
eight years now that we’ve known each
other and the fact that I share back
with her all the things that I’ve
learned from her along the way as well
as helping to guide her in her decisions
I also want to talk about a one-off
mentoring relationship so I decided late
to run the Baltimore marathon in the
fall of 2016 I wanted one of these cool
crab medals that they were handing out
and so it was late enough in the process
that I wasn’t gonna train much harder
and I said I could probably run about
three hours and 30 minutes it was my
ninth marathon so Elizabeth is in a
running group that I’m in I knew it was
going to be her first I said Elizabeth
what time do you want to run she said
about 3:30 I said great I’m planning to
run that time do you want to run with me
and she said sure I’d love to have the
company so for three hours 28 minutes
and 26 seconds we ran side-by-side and
finished the marathon together and it
was humbling to think that I had helped
her not only to achieve her goal but
her goal that I’d haven’t done much
mentoring for her other net but I did
offer a four pieces of advice for the
race that I think are good pieces of
advice for mentoring in general don’t
start too fast once you’re comfortable
it’s okay to speed up work through those
hills in the middle of the race and when
you’re close to the finish you can’t
give up she appreciated both the advice
and the companionship during the run and
I said well do one thing for me then I
was paying forward somebody two years
earlier running with me for my best
marathon anybody ever asks you to run a
marathon with him return the favor so
I’d also like to share just a couple of
other facts about mentoring this is a
thank-you note from one of my last mph
students I shared with her five words
that were really motivating in my life
she bought me the stones with the words
on them and sent me a thank-you note
describing how she saw me live out each
of those words it was really touching to
have someone do that for me and reflect
on how she could see those words in her
own life I’ve also had a couple MBA
students tell me amazing things like you
said an example for me as I go on to
pursue my PhD or you’re a great
connector and clearly that’s helped you
in your career
and I have a junior research colleague
who told me that my support during her
time of uncertainty was sustaining for
her these are all just comments that you
know it’s helped me understand what it
means to be perceived as a good mentor
to others so how do I tie this all
together in a meaningful way
first thing is enthusiasm I think my
enthusiasm makes me more approachable as
a mentor I don’t just get excited about
mentoring when I’m up here giving a TEDx
talk I get excited about mentoring
whenever I talk about it it’s so
essential in my life that when I ran a
2-person marathon relay one time with
that last MPH student of mine we named
our team who’s the mentor because I had
mentored her in public health and she
had mentioned me about running I love it
when my mentees get a chance to meet
each other especially having introduced
from ISA and Noreen they sent me this
great picture of the two of them it’s
like probably exchanging notes about me
I’m not sure what they said but
hopefully good things and it’s just
really exciting to think about what
enthusiasm can do because I was at a
Carey women in business conversation
where somebody said well I actually had
to ask somebody to mention me one time
and it felt like asking somebody to prom
it shouldn’t feel that hard
if the person is really excited and
enthusiastic about mentoring second
characteristic and my successful
mentoring relationships is empathy I
think that empathy also helps to make me
approachable because I have a former
direct report to me who said you’re the
most empathetic supervisor I’ve ever had
don’t lose that characteristic and I
take that advice and that recognition to
heart empathy is something again makes
me more approachable because I’ve had my
own ups and downs I had and still have
massive uncertainties in my life and I’m
just human and I let my mentees know
that the third thing is curiosity okay
until I’m entered Lauren I didn’t know a
thing about being a law student or
taking the bar or being an attorney but
when you run with somebody every week
for their three years of law school you
learn an awful lot about being a law
student I didn’t know the first thing
about baroque flute until I mentored
Kelsey and I’ve learned things about
flute as well curiosity is key because
I’m not an expert in everything but I
think I can mentor pretty people pretty
well no matter what they’re doing but my
lifelong love of learning and my
curiosity gives me the opportunity to
learn about their passions and offer
them useful advice back then there’s
connections of course it helps to have
connections I gave the example of
setting Lauren up to talk with another
attorney who I know but I also like
dreaming up in making new connections
one of those networking breakfasts one
side of me I’ve got the student who said
you’re a great connector the other side
of me across the table I’ve got a
gentleman who’s working in a family
stabilization organization working with
Baltimore City Public Schools he says
you know I need some more managerial
skills maybe I should get an MBA well
just so happens that that former MBA
student is working for a local
not-for-profit that finds talent and
places it in other local not-for-profits
and she earned her MBA along the way I
said you two really ought to talk to
each other and so I can’t always finish
building the bridge but anytime there’s
an opportunity to build a bridge I like
to make sure I start and finally there’s
vulnerability I have to let myself be
vulnerable to be a good mentor I don’t
know whether everybody’s gonna like my
type of mentoring they might or might
not those who do are they going to take
every piece of advice I offer probably
not if they do is that always going to
work I can assure you it’s not
and even if it does work are they always
going to go to the direction that I
would have suggested again probably not
all of those things I can’t let bother
me the joy is in developing the
relationship the joy is in seeing that
they’re trying and the joy isn’t seeing
their success whatever that means
how do I tie this all together okay I
tie it all together with this statement
my successful mentoring experiences are
ones in which I commit myself to be
vulnerable and use my enthusiasm and
empathy as well as my curiosity and
connections to facilitate my mentees
development in the hope that she will do
the same for someone else in the future
or a lot more simply and where I began
commit to make a difference for one that
will be translated into a difference for
others what I want you to do with all
this couple things I’ve given you my
model for mentoring but I’m not saying
this is the model that’s going to work
for everybody but if you’re looking to
be a mentor or need mentoring think
about what is the model that works for
you when you figured out that model
recognize that not all mentoring
relationships need to be formal some of
the most exciting ones that I described
to you were the informal mentoring
relationships you’re at least ones who
started informally and recognized there
might be all kinds of people out there
who can help you even if you don’t label
them mentor sometimes you need to make
that transition from informal to formal
to make the mentoring more meaningful
and if you need to do that don’t be
afraid to ask somebody to take that next
step and formalize it and hopefully it
is easier than asking somebody to prom
and then finally whether it’s formal or
informal if you have people who have
helped to in your development and
advance your development tell them what
it means to you
because I can assure you it will be as
meaningful for them and they will feel
like they have received a gift as a gift
that they’ve given you through mentoring
thank you [Applause]