[Applause]
I’m blessed to have one of the most
wonderful nieces in the world named
Joyce who’s currently nine years old and
she’s great for back in Canada now when
I first met her she was just beginning
to walk she had very little hair on her
head and it was the first time that I
was ever gonna get to meet one of my
nieces or nephews at one point during
our visit when her mother had
mysteriously entrusted Joyce in my care
I was in the kitchen there came Joyce
she strolls in and she rips off her
diaper which is the only thing she has
on in the moment and standing right in
the middle of the hardwood floor she
just starts to relieve herself I
remember both falling in love with Joyce
in that moment and fearing for my future
humans are funny creatures we live in a
world that functions through extrinsic
motivations and the need for immediate
reciprocity this mindset can lead to
selfish behaviors where instead of
investing in others and what is right
and what truly matters
we simply what we simply don’t
I strongly contend that making a
difference is an abstract idea that many
of us here struggle to pursue you see
we’re programmed from a very young age
to know that to make a difference or to
be the difference these are terms that
refer to positive alterations to a
specific person or situation yet I’ve
observed that most of us battle with how
to actually implement that idea a common
answer that you’re gonna hear from many
people as to why they’re in the
profession that they are in is to make a
difference but what does that actually
even mean the biggest obstacle of the
pursuit of the idea of making a
difference is the reality that we often
have no concrete proof as to whether or
not we’re actually doing so you see most
of us struggle living in the unknown and
I can speak to my personal work as an
educator when I say that in most cases I
have no I
dear or they’re not that I’ve actually
impacted anyone day-to-day week-to-week
and sometimes even year-to-year I mean
think about it
how often do you show your own
vulnerability by thanking someone who’s
made a difference in the small moments
of your day in the big moments of your
day in the biggest moments of your life
you see we’re not good at communicating
these feelings of gratitude and so the
idea of making a difference
it remains abstract dormant even but the
beauty of making a difference is that in
the few moments where we do get
recognition of our efforts it usually
makes that living in the unknown worth
it because I’ll tell you that some of
the greatest feelings that I’ve ever had
in my life include days where our former
students tell me that in some small way
years before in a moment that maybe I
don’t even remember I made a difference
in their life and I helped them to be
the person that they are today and on a
smaller scale none of us get upset when
someone says thank you in response to
our kindness our empathy and our
affluence I would like for all of us
here to start looking at making the
difference a little differently moving
forward and I’m gonna challenge all of
you here to put this simple concept into
practice
I strongly contend that making a
difference is not an abstract idea and
instead we need to start realizing that
in every moment of every day during
every task during every conversation
even when we are alone that each and
every moment it makes a difference in
your life in someone else’s life in the
environment around you the only thing
you need to worry about is whether or
not you’re doing enough to make a
positive difference now if we all strive
for this goal together then reciprocity
it’s a given we all benefit we no longer
have to doubt whether or not our efforts
are being appreciated and by presuming
positive
tensions by presuming pause advantages
of those around is I feel like we’re
gonna be empowered to return the favor
now I think we should implement this
idea in the most mundane ways start
brushing your teeth the way that
dentists recommend start responding to
emails and text messages immediately if
even just to say I need more time to
respond to your email or text start
walking like you have a purpose of where
you’re going start asking people hey how
are you doing and actually take a minute
to find out their response put your
friends your family your colleagues even
your strangers well-being in front of
your own but don’t forget about your own
well-being start believing that you’re
gonna be making a difference in every
moment of every day during every task
during every conversation even when you
are alone it’s gonna feel amazing in 20
years when your phone rings and someone
you knew from a different time lets you
know how much you impacted their life
it’s gonna feel amazing in twenty years
from now when you pick up the phone and
you call someone from a different time
to let them know how much they impacted
your life in May of 2013
my niece Joyce was diagnosed with
Asperger’s syndrome which is a
developmental disorder which is
basically characterized by difficulties
with social interaction life it’s just
not always easy for Joyce as the way
that she sees the world is different
than the way that most of you and I see
the world she doesn’t always understand
the use of sarcasm she has difficulty
dealing with conflict and she holds on
to literally everything you say or do
literally she’s smarter than the average
bear she’s unable to share the spotlight
and often times she’s quite
misunderstood but I’m guilty too I’ve
been personally frustrated in many
occasions when
dealing or not dealing with joists
throughout the years frustrated in the
moments when she’s decided to be the
only one that didn’t want to be a part
of the family photo frustrated in the
moments when an accident has occurred it
could have been prevented if only she’d
listened to my repeated warnings that
being said I think that choices made the
biggest difference in my life may be out
of anybody because it’s my journey it’s
true my journey of learning how to love
accept understand support her that
allows me to be reflective of my own
actions and my own behaviors you see
being a good Uncle Phil to her has made
me an excellent father for my own
daughters see being involved in conflict
with her has taught me that I don’t
always have to be right and that there
are many ways to interpret each and
every situation observing and
appreciating her uniqueness her
quirkiness and her brutal honesty it’s
really helped to make sure that I’m not
afraid to stand up for what I believe
but it saddens me saddens me that I
don’t know if it’s possible that I could
have made nearly as much of an impact on
her life thus far as she has in mind
you see Joyce doesn’t always fit in
I suppose it’s best to describe her as
the square peg trying to fit in to the
to the round hole that is normalcy she’s
got the need to be loved and accepted
just like the rest of us and it’s quite
hard for me to hear that despite her
best efforts she continues to have a
hard time making friends
you see Joyce has never even been
invited to a birthday party I hope that
right now you’re reflecting about how
you know someone like Joyce someone
great someone great like Joyce who could
really use your help
cuz I think it would be amazing I think
it’d be amazing if you’d leave today and
you do even more to ensure that you
understand that all of your actions
no matter how big no matter how small
they have an effect that could possibly
make a difference in that person’s life
I hope one day you’re able to meet my
niece and I know that if you get a
chance to meet her you’re gonna fall in
love with her just the way I have sure
there’s gonna be some moments where you
don’t see eye to eye but in the end I
hope you’re both able to just laugh it
off and agree to disagree well I suppose
I can’t promise that she won’t hold a
grudge but hopefully you’ll find it
somewhere in your heart to forgive her
and most importantly I hope that you
consider inviting her to your birthday
party because I think that that would
make all the difference in the world at
least a one little girl thank you [Applause]
I’m blessed to have one of the most
wonderful nieces in the world named
Joyce who’s currently nine years old and
she’s great for back in Canada now when
I first met her she was just beginning
to walk she had very little hair on her
head and it was the first time that I
was ever gonna get to meet one of my
nieces or nephews at one point during
our visit when her mother had
mysteriously entrusted Joyce in my care
I was in the kitchen there came Joyce
she strolls in and she rips off her
diaper which is the only thing she has
on in the moment and standing right in
the middle of the hardwood floor she
just starts to relieve herself I
remember both falling in love with Joyce
in that moment and fearing for my future
humans are funny creatures we live in a
world that functions through extrinsic
motivations and the need for immediate
reciprocity this mindset can lead to
selfish behaviors where instead of
investing in others and what is right
and what truly matters
we simply what we simply don’t
I strongly contend that making a
difference is an abstract idea that many
of us here struggle to pursue you see
we’re programmed from a very young age
to know that to make a difference or to
be the difference these are terms that
refer to positive alterations to a
specific person or situation yet I’ve
observed that most of us battle with how
to actually implement that idea a common
answer that you’re gonna hear from many
people as to why they’re in the
profession that they are in is to make a
difference but what does that actually
even mean the biggest obstacle of the
pursuit of the idea of making a
difference is the reality that we often
have no concrete proof as to whether or
not we’re actually doing so you see most
of us struggle living in the unknown and
I can speak to my personal work as an
educator when I say that in most cases I
have no I
dear or they’re not that I’ve actually
impacted anyone day-to-day week-to-week
and sometimes even year-to-year I mean
think about it
how often do you show your own
vulnerability by thanking someone who’s
made a difference in the small moments
of your day in the big moments of your
day in the biggest moments of your life
you see we’re not good at communicating
these feelings of gratitude and so the
idea of making a difference
it remains abstract dormant even but the
beauty of making a difference is that in
the few moments where we do get
recognition of our efforts it usually
makes that living in the unknown worth
it because I’ll tell you that some of
the greatest feelings that I’ve ever had
in my life include days where our former
students tell me that in some small way
years before in a moment that maybe I
don’t even remember I made a difference
in their life and I helped them to be
the person that they are today and on a
smaller scale none of us get upset when
someone says thank you in response to
our kindness our empathy and our
affluence I would like for all of us
here to start looking at making the
difference a little differently moving
forward and I’m gonna challenge all of
you here to put this simple concept into
practice
I strongly contend that making a
difference is not an abstract idea and
instead we need to start realizing that
in every moment of every day during
every task during every conversation
even when we are alone that each and
every moment it makes a difference in
your life in someone else’s life in the
environment around you the only thing
you need to worry about is whether or
not you’re doing enough to make a
positive difference now if we all strive
for this goal together then reciprocity
it’s a given we all benefit we no longer
have to doubt whether or not our efforts
are being appreciated and by presuming
positive
tensions by presuming pause advantages
of those around is I feel like we’re
gonna be empowered to return the favor
now I think we should implement this
idea in the most mundane ways start
brushing your teeth the way that
dentists recommend start responding to
emails and text messages immediately if
even just to say I need more time to
respond to your email or text start
walking like you have a purpose of where
you’re going start asking people hey how
are you doing and actually take a minute
to find out their response put your
friends your family your colleagues even
your strangers well-being in front of
your own but don’t forget about your own
well-being start believing that you’re
gonna be making a difference in every
moment of every day during every task
during every conversation even when you
are alone it’s gonna feel amazing in 20
years when your phone rings and someone
you knew from a different time lets you
know how much you impacted their life
it’s gonna feel amazing in twenty years
from now when you pick up the phone and
you call someone from a different time
to let them know how much they impacted
your life in May of 2013
my niece Joyce was diagnosed with
Asperger’s syndrome which is a
developmental disorder which is
basically characterized by difficulties
with social interaction life it’s just
not always easy for Joyce as the way
that she sees the world is different
than the way that most of you and I see
the world she doesn’t always understand
the use of sarcasm she has difficulty
dealing with conflict and she holds on
to literally everything you say or do
literally she’s smarter than the average
bear she’s unable to share the spotlight
and often times she’s quite
misunderstood but I’m guilty too I’ve
been personally frustrated in many
occasions when
dealing or not dealing with joists
throughout the years frustrated in the
moments when she’s decided to be the
only one that didn’t want to be a part
of the family photo frustrated in the
moments when an accident has occurred it
could have been prevented if only she’d
listened to my repeated warnings that
being said I think that choices made the
biggest difference in my life may be out
of anybody because it’s my journey it’s
true my journey of learning how to love
accept understand support her that
allows me to be reflective of my own
actions and my own behaviors you see
being a good Uncle Phil to her has made
me an excellent father for my own
daughters see being involved in conflict
with her has taught me that I don’t
always have to be right and that there
are many ways to interpret each and
every situation observing and
appreciating her uniqueness her
quirkiness and her brutal honesty it’s
really helped to make sure that I’m not
afraid to stand up for what I believe
but it saddens me saddens me that I
don’t know if it’s possible that I could
have made nearly as much of an impact on
her life thus far as she has in mind
you see Joyce doesn’t always fit in
I suppose it’s best to describe her as
the square peg trying to fit in to the
to the round hole that is normalcy she’s
got the need to be loved and accepted
just like the rest of us and it’s quite
hard for me to hear that despite her
best efforts she continues to have a
hard time making friends
you see Joyce has never even been
invited to a birthday party I hope that
right now you’re reflecting about how
you know someone like Joyce someone
great someone great like Joyce who could
really use your help
cuz I think it would be amazing I think
it’d be amazing if you’d leave today and
you do even more to ensure that you
understand that all of your actions
no matter how big no matter how small
they have an effect that could possibly
make a difference in that person’s life
I hope one day you’re able to meet my
niece and I know that if you get a
chance to meet her you’re gonna fall in
love with her just the way I have sure
there’s gonna be some moments where you
don’t see eye to eye but in the end I
hope you’re both able to just laugh it
off and agree to disagree well I suppose
I can’t promise that she won’t hold a
grudge but hopefully you’ll find it
somewhere in your heart to forgive her
and most importantly I hope that you
consider inviting her to your birthday
party because I think that that would
make all the difference in the world at
least a one little girl thank you [Applause]
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