the zone preparation is the key the
reason people don’t put themselves in a
position to fail the reason people
aren’t patient is they value other
people’s opinions too much you know and
the one thing you have to really never
do is compare yourself to other people
absolutely that’s the one thing you
can’t do is judge the success to someone
else’s what’s that believe nation it’s
heaven my one word is believe and I
believe in you I believe you have an
amazing gift inside you that I want to
see exploded on to the world now I
started the belief life series to try to
tackle a topic once a week that is maybe
outside the world of pure business
entrepreneurship so to help you live
your best believe life today we’re going
to learn how you can stop undermining
yourself and be more confident enjoy
[Music]
our let’s kick things off with way
number one you fail to mind your inner
dialogue with Mel Robbins I know that
everybody’s problem comes down to one
pattern you’re repeating that you can’t
see and that pattern is getting
triggered by something that happened in
your past that left you with this
emotional scar and so for me the thing
that I always always always have to deal
with and myself is the fear of
disappointing somebody so if I’m in a
situation where I start to feel that
it’s an old trigger and so when you
finally have a word that describes in a
visceral way this thing you hate about
yourself or this thing that triggers you
or whatever it may be that’s where the
power comes because now you can name the
thing that was once controlling you and
so if you can identify first of all the
pattern you keep repeating that makes
you miserable or doesn’t serve you or
makes you lose your power or has you go
numb then you can start to go back and
say well where did I where did I first
start doing this and what was the
experience that triggered it because
that’s the root of the problem right
there and when you expose all of that
the trigger and the emotional button
like my I’m afraid of disappointing
people I’m afraid of disappointing
people I’m not worthy I’m not worthy
you know I’m pissed off that I that this
is happening to me now you have the
ability to change it forever way number
two you’re underprepared with Tim Grover
and professional sports everybody always
said oh he’s a closer and they said
that’s the top level of a competitor and
I always thought while working with
Michael I said comparing him to
everybody else and putting him in a
category as a closer along with all the
other players
I said that’s an insult I see what this
man goes through I’ve seen his
preparation you know I don’t like to use
the word legendary with him because he’s
not a legend he’s an icon there’s a lot
of legends out there there’s only one
icon he’s an icon a cleaner is an
individual what we call a don’t think
person they’re so well prepared at what
they do they spend hours and hours of
time years of getting prepared that no
matter what’s thrown at them they’re
going to deliver that end result over
and over again their instincts are so
dead on that no matter what variable
what problem they can adjust on the fly
and they’ll have the ability to get
themselves in what we call the zone the
problem is in order to be able to put
yourself in the zone preparation is the
key we number three you seek approval
instead of authenticity with Gary
Vaynerchuk on a bigger macro
patience and failure they all ladder up
to one thing which is insecurity the
reason people don’t put themselves in a
position to fail the reason people
aren’t patient is they value other
people’s opinions too much which then
dictates their behavior which then gets
into all of this Wise’s if you like
don’t hold on to it and with the thought
of in case it fails because you just
need to realize it’s your Scarlet Letter
literally the reason people are scared
always is the outside force having a
failing business and everyone’s like I
see you could never do or whatever the
cliche is right yeah it just doesn’t
matter
you know why so that’s one piece I mean
if it didn’t succeed what there’s such
better people like what I’m such a
better person than other people because
I can build a business that’s bullshit
yeah we number four you stay comfortable
with jakka willing and Will Smith any
type of danger right gives you this
flight-or-fight response so train starts
with training jujitsu boxing Muay Thai
wrestling shooting competing competing
right you get used to those butterflies
when you compete you get those
butterflies and you get used to them and
so train and get used to seeing how that
reaction what that adrenaline feels like
and and also get used to understanding
what the superior action is right fight
or flight
because sometimes flight is the correct
response sometimes fight is the correct
response but what you want to do is you
want to be able to assess and dictate
which response you’re gonna give and not
just do whatever your instinct tells you
because sometimes your instinct might be
wrong and so again I don’t know what
you’re actually you’re the situation
where you’re going into but whatever it
is because people get the
fight-or-flight response to to everyday
things to like public speaking right oh
yeah rock climbing and and that’s where
I say do you know do these things
training them so public speaking rock
climbing you know if you want to get
good at rock punk oh you’re gonna get
over that fight-or-flight response when
you get out go go rock climbing
used to it you scared of heights coots
go start parachuting you know you’ll get
used to it you’re scared of the water
get worked up and go through swimming
and then give come scuba certified just
the things that you’re not comfortable
with get comfortable with being
uncomfortable you have to be able to be
vulnerable in front of anybody you know
you have to be comfortable looking silly
you have to be comfortable making
mistakes and you have to break the thing
inside of you that doesn’t want people
to see right because as soon as you
allow people to see all of a sudden you
get access to things that you didn’t
realize you had access to
right for example like the thing I used
to do is when I was in probably eighteen
or nineteen years old a guy in touch
with those blocked the camera hates
emotional blocks like you put a camera
in somebody’s face and they’re
uncomfortable about deliberating emotion
it looks fake and you feel it you
immediately know it’s not real right
especially look at the size of this
screen and get a shot that whole screen
could be just your eyes right so it’s
like you can’t hide discomfort
uncertainty so you have to be able to
get comfortable you know just
and we number five the last one before
some very special bonus clips is you
engage in beat down behaviors with
diamond – you know and the one thing you
have to really never do is compare
yourself to other people absolutely
that’s the one thing you can’t do is
judge their success to someone else’s a
lot of people that were that’s with
social media does man the people man
looking at people’s pages and you like
to anchor and I just it could that’s a
part if you’re insecure yes if you’re
I’ve got a very special bonus clip with
Jay Shetty around how you forget that
there are drops and the most important
thing is how you recover from them but
before that I want to know from you
which of these five ways are you holding
yourself back most and what is the one
that is really impacting your
self-confidence leave it down the
comments below and as you write it down
as you write in the comments I want you
to release it because it’s hurting you
because it’s holding you back because
it’s limiting yourself confidence leave
it in the comments below and boom
release it thank you guys so much for
watching I believe in you I hope you
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one word is much love see
to remind yourself that it’s okay to
feel the way you feel when you’re going
for a difficult time it’s okay to feel
weak it’s okay to want to cry it’s okay
to feel overwhelmed just reminding
yourself that it’s okay this is my
number one way of how to find strength
in difficult times is reminding yourself
that the way you feel is okay to honor
that feeling to accept that feeling to
actually be okay with that what we see
or what we perceive to be a weakness or
what we perceive to let us down or what
we perceive is a sign of you know
instability or insecurity we’ve got to
remind ourselves that when things are
tough it’s okay to feel that way there’s
nothing wrong with that any difficulty I
go to I look to moments in history where
people have enjoyed the same pain if not
more extreme and analyze absorb and
connect with how they got through it I
like to see what they were thinking I
like to see what they did I like to see
how they structured themselves I like to
look at how they organized I looked like
to look at who they were speaking to I
like to look at what was going through
their mind at that time because you’ve
got to remember that any challenge we’re
facing today we’ve faced it before as
humanity right beyond ethnicities beyond
color race creed beyond backgrounds
beyond all walks of life as human beings
we’ve been through challenges before and
we’ve got through them and therefore
reconnecting with how that’s been done
before is a beautiful way of learning
how to overcome current challenges so
you can either look at your past but
real wisdom lies in looking at the past
of people who made a difference you look
at people like Martin Luther King you
look at people like Gandhi you look at
people who made world-changing
differences not single-handedly but
influenced from a single perspective
from a single point of view and really
connecting with the powerful moments in
history I’ve said this quote many times
I’ve read it many times and this quote
actually is is unbelievable and the
quote says that they fought they buried
us they didn’t know we were seeds
right it’s a Mexican proverb they
thought they borrowed us they didn’t
know we were seeds and I was thinking
these when you tell yourself that story
you start thinking much more differently
right a seed is buried – it’s incredible
that the seed goes through the same
process as anything else it’s put deep
underground right all of this mud is put
on top of it it gets rained on it gets
snowed on all these kind of things but
it knows that it’s a seed so it knows
that it can grow so there anything’s
possible and it grows through and you
see even plants going to concrete
sometimes right it’s unbelievable how
much power a seed has so changing the
stories we tell ourselves we can either
look at challenging situations as
opportunities for growth as an
opportunity to learn as an opportunity
to change be the change we can look at
them and and really fool down now that
that second part is okay we can even
feel like that right but we have to
recognize it’s not permanent
we’ve gotta accept that none of our
feelings are permanent they don’t need
to be permanent it’s a choice so if you
need to vent vent I was saying to
someone yesterday if you need a vent
vent if you need to run run if you need
to complain complain if you need to
share if you do that but recognize that
those feelings are not permanent and
it’ll be amazing when we’ve realized we
are seeds right that is the most
powerful way of finding strength raise
your standard Apple at the core is core
values
is that movie that people have passion
and change the way people now one drop
of myself work depends on your it’s
suppose to mean I don’t ever give up I’d
have to be dead or completely
incapacitated
hey believe nation if you want to see my
all-time favorite top ten Rose a success
I have a very special secret video for
you these are the individual Clips that
I have personally learned the most from
and applied to my life and my business
check the link in description for details