before I talk a little bit about what I
consider to be one of the most dangerous
and explosive words in the English
language this five letter word that a
lot of us hear and use
I just wanted to confess to something
which is that what you’re going to hear
over the next minute few minutes or so
is is not a talk with the foundation of
academic study and one of the reasons
why is that I got a B in government and
politics at a level I didn’t put my F in
English up that wasn’t enough to get me
here or in an a university like this and
so South Bank Polly took me in and
[Music]
thankfully my professional career kind
of moved on from there so what I’d like
to talk to you today is about personal
experience is about my observation over
the last thirty years or so in the media
in the entertainment and the technology
industry and how I think that there’s
been a few shifts in the way in which we
use language and that word in particular
the may be word there may be epidemic
and how perhaps it’s come around it’s
come about and I want to give you two
tips if I may at the end of the talk of
how to get out of the world of maybe
firstly though I’d like to take you to a
more formal environment firstly I’m
going to take you to a more formal
environment and imagine that you are in
a meeting many of you perhaps haven’t
experienced this in work but but a
number of you and I hope most of you
would have experienced this in some
shape or form you know that Q&A session
people put their hands up there a little
bit gingerly and worried about doing it
the first question goes up the person
that’s answering the question it’s a
good answer he bats it over the net and
then you get to some of those more
tricky questions like is there going to
be a cappuccino machine are we going to
have a Christmas
party sightly moving into more complex
issues and then the tougher questions
come is there going to be a pay rise are
there going to be redundancies and it’s
at that moment you start to spot the
world of maybe and it can come in all
shapes and sizes the one I’m I’m always
fascinated by is the person that says
that’s a great question
love that question be wary of that one
but you can see it in different ways
I understand interesting let me get back
to you
all of those are characteristics of the
world of maybe and we deal with it in
our work and professional lives now let
me just slightly go to extreme now and
suggest to you whether the world of
maybe works for you with these kind of
questions and I hope in the balcony you
can see them but Ryan Gosling is talking
to Michelle with Williams do you love me
doctor is my son gonna be okay will you
marry me I mean you just imagine getting
maybe to any of these questions you just
can’t
you couldn’t unhear it you’d have a very
different reaction so in our personal
lives we think a lot about the language
we receive the language we give the way
in which it affects us
you certainly are much more sensitive to
it but we still are affected by that
word in both our professional and our
personal lives and what I’d like to see
and is increasing move away from it now
here’s an example of a business that I’m
involved in it’s it’s it’s a start-up
business some of you are involved in
startups some of you have an aspiration
to be in startups as you finish your
academic career and and just read this
if you can I’ll cut it out to you from
the back really busy now but we’ll give
it some thought when I have some time
and that that’s a no right I mean we all
know that that is a no so in a sense we
have to try and challenge what we’re
listening to and the way in which
and answers work because startups cannot
live in the world of maybe it kills lots
of startups because they just run out of
time to fulfill their dream and their
potential now this is not where maybe
says it’s not a midpoint between yes and
no it’s at the node or pushing its way
to get in and I it’s quite interesting
when you begin to see popular culture
tackling this word his this issue here’s
Jack Johnson saying maybe always almost
always means no it’s beginning to seep
in to the way in which we work with each
other the way in which we interact with
each other it’s becoming much more
common we’re accepting it and what I’d
like to try and do is is give you my
view on whether it’s always been like
that and it’s just come to me and and
I’m much more sensitive to it all
there’s being change
there’s being some kind of environmental
change where that interaction is
becoming stronger and stronger and
stronger and one of the issues that I
think we’re beginning to see is this
increasing challenge that we all have
not just in business this is not just in
our professional lives this is in our
personal lives the challenge that we
have about data worship you know data
overload and you can see it we’re
surrounded by it email search social
media user-generated content
fake news has become a very interesting
and topical issue over the last six
months the way in which on the internet
the world’s stupidity sits very closely
next to the world’s great knowledge and
so what we’re beginning to see is noise
incredible amount of noise and when
decisions are trying to be made
everyone’s got an opinion it’s
incredible how expert we can all be at
an issue just by clicking on the web and
drawing down a little bit of information
and counter-intuitively instead of that
speeding
decision-making I’m seeing decisions
being taking much more time
shallow decision-making delays in the
way in which business works so data I
think is one of the challenges that I
think we face another one is the mobile
device and in particular social media
social messaging and the media platforms
and if you think about it Facebook I
think I’m right in saying is in a
quarter of the world’s population right
now and and this word maybe has appeared
on everything that we begin to see I
mean I tried to invite my son to to come
to my talk today and he gave me a maybe
and and and I think just the way in
which we’ve begun to interact people are
sitting on the fence it’s a big public
experience should I say yes should I
wait what should I wait for my friends
to say yes and this whole concept of
maybe is putting a lot more doubt into
the way in which we interact and agree
to to do things with each other and in
the work environment for those of you
who are in the work environment or have
seen it it’s that tentative on a
calendar invite where you invite 10
people you get the two yeses from the
people you don’t really want in the in
the room and the eight tentative from
the people you really don’t you really
want in the room and you’re never
entirely sure whether you’re going to
see them there so interestingly I picked
one and even though I did say that this
is a talk based on my own experience
it’s interestingly that one of the most
successful sites that has banned the
word maybe as tinder with a very clear
yes or no in fact they’ve simplified it
even more with the swipe left or swipe
light right
so I think there’s an issue I really
think there’s an issue and I think we
can all get out of the world of maybe
and I’d like to propose two ways in
which we can all change and I think
there are two things that I’d like to
ask you to think about the first is how
do I change the way in which I use
language to get out of the word the
world of maybe and that only takes you
so far but how can I also persuade
others that I don’t welcome the word and
the first suggestion is that you
essentially ban the word from your
language and you use different ways of
describing clarity try you you’re never
going to be able to answer every
question with a yes or no I get that we
all experience doubt we all are unsure
about issues that we face on a
day-to-day basis but try and put things
into context it’s a no one till it’s a
yes if I can’t give you that answer for
two more weeks so time conditions give
people the context to why you cannot
give a yes or a No very important and
increasingly as you adapt your language
you’ll begin to discover that the person
that’s listening to you perhaps will
give you the answer that you’re seeking
as well and that you won’t get that
disconnect because you don’t understand
each other enough for each other to find
common ground the second tip is you’ve
got to tell people how much you hate it
now imagine you go into a restaurant
today the waiter comes up to you to say
do you have any in tolerances sir
yeah I’m glucose intolerant I’m lactose
intolerant and maybe intolerant so I
think you have to be much more explicit
about the word it doesn’t work for you
so when I talk to people about language
I
say look every time I hear the word I
just want you to know every time I hear
the word maybe I my brain computes to
know so when you when you say that word
all I hear is no and gradually the
people around you will begin to
understand that there are boundaries and
there are ways in which they they will
want to have and you will want to have a
conversation with them now if you adapt
to this approach if you if you can sign
the maybe word to the bin what’s going
to happen were you going to get some
yeses and you’re going to get some nose
that’s the choices that that you’ve now
offered the people around you and no is
fine so long as you get no with context
because you can learn from it and you
can understand from it that’s very very
important and I just want to leave you
with one thought which is many of us I
hope all of us feel great when we hear
the word yes it’s a fantastic feeling
when you you get affirmation you get a
positive feeling of agreement consensus
so every time you give a yes to someone
it makes them feel good and every time
you say yes to something it gives you
another opportunity to learn something
new and so if you ditch the M word and
focus on the yes word and understand the
no word and context I think you’re going
to be in really good shape thanks very much