good evening a few months ago I did a
middle school chapel and the next day
the shirt was in by Fox along with an
anonymous note and the note was from a
middle school teacher who I still do not
know what was and hopefully you’re she
will watch this TED talk and I go oh
he’s thanking you cos I wanted to thank
this person he or she mentioned that she
really enjoyed the messages that i was
giving the middle school chapel and in
that particular travel and reverenced ET
so let me begin by referencing ET yet
again towards the end of the film 3 goes
up to say good body TV for he goes on in
the station and she’s got that pot of
planets so symbolic throughout the film
and she lays it down ET speed and stands
up and and she says goodbye and he t
sort of puts his hand up you know how
the guys he says he good she responds
give me yes well I’m afraid that when I
was her age up and threw about 2 100 17
18 years old my answer would have been a
definitive no because I was not good I
was good at being bullying but I was not
good anyway
and my bullying came out greatly at the
summer camp in my parents sent me to
from the age 9 to 15 and i have since
that time been very sensitive to
bullying and sensitive that it’s
important to build community so that
bullies do not feel welcome there and
all so my bowing began as a 11 year old
when I was a captain of our color war
team so happy lemon roles were on the
ground impact on printing and we play
games of each other’s 45 points five
valuable points also along and I wanted
my team to win not only was i bully I
was also really competitive and I pushed
my team and we didn’t work hard but I
worked them hard and I was divisive
towards the other team and eventually
they had counselor venom uncle better
Myers needed to call me into his office
episode of that going to the Dean of
boys with Dean of speaking to that
person about door behavior and it was
writing for 11 year old to go into this
office and uncle then said to me now
chillin all people called me king Jimmy
your teammates have been really
concerned and spoken to me about how the
trigger and they feel like you’re
pulling them and you’re not giving them
an opportunity to play the positions
they want and I say but I’ll go then we
haven’t lost a game all season of course
that was not the point II was trying to
make but that was the end of my
leadership roles
yeah no longer did any camera think that
I see any type of leadership role at all
and I spent the rest of my ears not
leading groups or teams at what happened
but I i turn my bullying towards what
I’ve told a target boat where I would
target kids account gly felt were not as
we’re garment or not as even the safety
net the adults or other kids so that I
could sort of get away with my belly and
in one particular incident I was sitting
with a good friend of mine is still a
good friend of mine up on a volleyball
referee stand and this boy Steve came up
to start walking up to join us on this
referee standard and my friend next to
be sort of felt it coming he fronted
nudge me has stopped but I looked down
and I said to him you are not coming up
here get as far away from us as possible
I said that too and he walked away back
to room sitting and started crying and
my friend looked at me like I should go
gallon talk to them but that was not the
audacity to do my friend a wonderful
solid did go down and comfort this boy
sort of let me off the hook and I didn’t
stop there I mentioned my headedness and
there was a game where we lost clearly
it was the umpire swallow well small
wooded bigger and the umpire to be sure
buzz it’s all on him and we were all
sitting in a bomb waiting for second
call to go through to dinner and Ronnie
that was the camera walked in and we
called him not so nicely das because he
had a lot of moles on his his arms
interspace and I guess the bunk that 12
of the sitting there just waiting for me
to
often I didn’t disappoint home later
define disappointment in this and I SAT
das just turn yourself around cost you
that game and I don’t want to see you
ever and he didn’t turn around till he
started crying and he walked out now
I’ll fast forward a few years where our
camp a lot of alumni come back to be
counselors and pretty much it’s a rubber
stamp application you are a camper camp
one of the counselor poof you’re a
counselor I didn’t get the rubber stamp
proof not by any means I learned later
that the only reason I was granted the
job was that the owner director had
asked a number of councillors who I have
to touch with if I was worth giving a
job too if I would be worthy of being a
camp counselor like ham and they
unbeknownst need out today and I went to
camp to be a counselor and we have of
course the classic orientation we learn
about being a house learn how to be
going to be good to your kids how to
forward community and it really went
completely over my head and then we had
the famous meeting where the health
direct camp director lays out who’s in
each bomb and the younger counselors are
usually in the small box with two or
three other counselors and become poor
boys and I’m waiting for my name in the
call and I’m waiting and I’m waiting and
I figure this is the way they’re telling
me I didn’t cut mustard 100 have delayed
they finally get to bomb 12 from 12 and
they said Jimmy Ezra I’m 12 which is a
pretty plum assignment for a young
counselor bomb 12 was pretty much out of
the bag writing stage
and the boys were 10 11 years old and
been to camp before so I was pretty much
in house in good shape so I read up on
the boys and fortunately none of them
had been in camp three years previous
when Jimmy’s reign of terror was going
on so they did not go of my priorities
and the strange things happen that first
day if you think camp know that the kids
get out of the buses and they run for
the bumpiness to see who’s in your
pocket whose bunk they’ve got they all
that they find the counselor in all the
sudden preparing for duffel bags back
then I can care for mental tax and dimes
the bottom we make our beds we get
everything set up we went to dinner
after dinner if we had assembly and at
the assembly greeted all from campers
and then tattoo pose and we go back to
our moment with the boys to sleep and
the boys went up to the greenhouse to
the bathroom teeth came back and they’re
getting their pajamas and I’m sitting on
my bed which is no further away than you
are all sitting right here in smaller
bunk and I realized that there was some
into this camp counselor that I know I
could be Ginny the book and being a
bouncer because what wash all of you
wanted these were my boy this was my
pond and putting them to sleep telling
the story was a soothing to me that’s a
closed event and early on that summer I
was asleep one tight young camp Josh was
actually doing it some sleep and I felt
something on my teeth and I sort of
looked up and a app was perched on my
name its add a couple of quick options I
could have freaked out which everyone
and then or knows what would happen with
my four boys in the book so I I as
quietly as I Kevin and his salt bicycle
grabbed
flashlight and I showed it into andy and
andrew david Todd’s eyes to wake them up
and I got them all to get their
flashlights out and dated closer to the
door grabbed his brooms were in the bed
so open the door and I say we even
though only heal or we open that door
and we all have shown our flashlights
out I moved my dating that back leg
straight up so without knowing it i
created this community where we all
faults felt safe comfortable in 112 and
I thought really good about that and
each value can we have an assembly and
at the end is a boy scout and at the end
of each nut assembly we sing a song sort
of a low of my where the whole camp gets
up and the boys and councils are put
their arms around one another and we
sing a song saying goodnight to camp and
the first line goes goes like this huh
excuse my voice goodnight Winnebago we
will always be true and i took that line
about always be true to my boys to my
camp to the community that we created
and as calstrs isn’t years went by we
would need a college or people’s homes
we would have our own community and I
realized that once we were together we
were always together and having taken
Latin in high school
we’ll say a study of having taken Latin
restroom I knew what always was said
pair but I needed to know what once was
and we were the University of
Pennsylvania of one one time and I sort
of ran off for my friends went to the
library and I want that dictionary and I
found once sanel and since that time
I’ve held that phrase very close to me
semental is impaired once always once
you are in a community once you are with
me you’re always with me and I worked a
camp for thirty two summers and I ended
up being head counselor and being of a
bed buyers as Uncle Jimmy for my camp
and I made my son character of a pound
somewhere planning that for a seat for
me and I stopped going to camp and the
only thing that made that possible was
being extinct captions and having a
gospel having a group of girls and I
remember the first year I had advised
ray and I talked about this last year
when they were seniors and I asked me so
what you think when you heard the famous
little smoke all out of who you were not
those of you who knows that were talking
about and they were a little weirded out
about that because they knew I’ve never
been an advisor before and they know me
isn’t a technology guy so they weren’t
really sure where things were going to
go and I very intentionally named by
advisory as I name each advisory on this
advisory was called the 14 burgers as we
were all a different River coming down
into become bed or a building months
whereas the girls called it on their own
or safe harbor and that room became
however and then advisory was our
advisory and I love those girls
still do and those families I feel a
part of to this day and the simple
routines we did whether it was just
sitting around in our circle talking for
writing postcards home every week those
were great value to us in creating that
community in the next year I had a
fourth where we needed to make sure that
every tree was healthy in that forest so
the whole forest could be strong and the
year after that had the 14 Islands
because the island is all are connected
data button so we all were one together
and then and then I planted a garden
it’s a wonderful girl
we make sure our soil and stretch we
make sure we would tension about what we
planted and that is still a beautiful
dark metal all such great mountain I
went off to the sky we after that
because we remember this in our reach
and this year got have an awesome
frontier we’re not afraid to go places
and do things so every Thursday before
the router coastguards we go somewhere
new on campus and take a picture of
ourselves well I can picture and these
communities that I created I tell the
girls whether it’s simple some hair or
it’s now and forever I am there for them
and our communities still exist even if
we grow apart in ears I tell them as
they get older they keep me young and
there are communities we create on our
bait right where we go to different
islands and we get unplugged for three
days and when we say more on island time
it’s not because of Chester Bay people
don’t one of your questions got whatever
you be next where we going to go when we
get into it with you it’s so that our
Island time is time for us to be
together as a group and bring back
together and I are Dominican Republic
mission scripts while we are serving a
community most importantly we are
between community bonds that would
continue now every year school once a
year I go to chapel and I do a chapel
that’s called the island and I believe
that everybody carries an island and I
first experienced this at camp where dr.
Bamba it’s like ologist we visit can
talk to him pastors about how do we
foster intentionally a community how do
we make sure the people
same company everyone has a lesson you
all have like these every day you wake
up and everyday things into this aisle x
line sometimes it’s a no fault of anyone
that sometimes and other times it’s a
direct result of somebody to assemble so
for instance you hit that snooze button
one more topical when you come down to
breakfast there’s no more crunchy
telecommute 83 breakfast and imported a
lifetime I’m sorry you get to school
you’re late you going over to the chapel
and at the end someone calls out your
name however he knows really you go to
your next class the girls next we’re
getting the quizzes back eight there’s
your anyone if we didn’t stuff and as
the day goes on there’s all these little
mix of friends but we’ve got to make
sure we’re not doing that to one another
you’re about to get out for lunch one of
your friends is coming to sit down
that’s when you stay instead of getting
up and leaving we make room for our
communities to grow now the nice thing
is at the end of the day thankfully
you’ve got some of his left and you put
it out here come on and in the morning
when you get up it’s all back together
look at that but there’s a piece of it
and all the time as more more mrs. I’m
gonna make sure that nobody can find
then what kind of person to be presented
to others so as I bullied my way through
my adolescence I’m building my way from
now on because it’s important that these
are not pieces of armor this is just who
we are you are comfortable week i’ll ax
times where i am lovable which all of
you want and capable which all one
hundred percent now at the end of the
tube beyond her de la comes to say
goodbye and that’s a little more rough
up good luck and ET wants Elliot to come
with him so PT says go in Elliott
tearfully says step and then et does out
because because that hurts because
they’re going to be a part and they hug
and it’s time for et shift it up just is
he about to walk away tease and goes out
and the fingertip likes up he says I’ll
here and that’s the community must be
right here the incredible privilege we
have to be here to be here to be on this
planet what we have is a duty
responsibility is in the old to be here
and we most certainly are thank you very much