Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite! | National Geographic

remember your mother tucking you in bed
and saying don’t let the bedbugs bite
before she turned off your nightlight
you probably thought she was kidding
well hell she wasn’t kidding
it’s just before dawn you’re in the
deepest sleep you’ll be in all night and
the bedbugs are ready to strike bedbugs
once lived in caves and sucked the blood
of bats and your prehistoric ancestors
when we left our caves so did they they
sneak in through the tiniest cracks the
most miniscule openings they even come
in through an outlet they know where you
are because they can sense the carbon
dioxide you exhale you’ve got something
they want blood when they get within
sucking distance they use heat sensors
on their antennae to find the juiciest
place to drill for plasma and expose
limb is like a flashing neon sign for a
free all you can suck buffet if nobody
does anything thousands of them can
infest a single bedroom
like a safecracker opening a vault the
bedbug finds the perfect spot to hit the
blood bank bedbugs have to drink blood
to stay alive and breed and mother
nature is on the side of the bed bug the
bug administers an anesthetic so you
don’t wake up as well as an
anticoagulant so your vital life essence
will gush freely from your veins and
here’s a cheery fact a bedbug can drink
three times its weight in a single meal
talk about your big gulp here’s
something else to brighten your day if
you’ve got a serious infestation you
might get bitten 500 times in a single
night you might get an emu
unlike the bedbug all done see you
tomorrow
sucker no I guess it’s the sucker you
are the sucky