let’s say you’re a female scorpion in
Africa your biological clock is ticking
and it’s time to mate you attract a
suitor by sending self-generated perfume
wafting into the air naturally a
wandering male comes
scuttling toward you to seal the deal
you send out good vibrations which are
picked up by these ultra fine sensory
organs your eyes are like limpid pools
all either you’ve attracted a partner
but you are still in complete control
why because if he doesn’t fulfill his
role you can kill him at any time he
grasps you by the forelimbs
caressing you with his tail so far so
good now it’s time for the courtship
pass there’s more to this than a quick
spin around the dance floor his strategy
of which you are well aware is to plant
a sperm packet on the ground and then
maneuver you on top of it hoping you’ll
take it into your body
maybe it’s the raffish twinkle in his
eye maybe it’s the way he shakes his
scorpion booty but you take in the sperm
leaving the empty packet behind and with
that he’s out of there
no laundry no pals over to watch
football in the big-screen TV
no sharing in the bathroom he can’t hang
around or you may very well
Edom and you live out the gestation
period alone I hope you like being with
child because a Scorpion’s gestation
period is a colossal 18 bucks that’s
double a human’s longer even in a whales
finally you give birth the ghost white
baby is born fully formed you are a
superior scorpion mom cradling your
newborn with tender care soon it begins
to unfold its limbs through the night
you give birth to more babies and more
babies and more babies each new baby
frees itself from the birth membrane and
climbs up on top of mom’s back
eighteen babies all together luckily you
don’t have to nurse these babies they
feed on nutrients left over from the
embryo stage you’ve done it from mating
dance to piggyback mom and each one of
these babies with luck will live for
eight years but will they call will they
come over send you a card on Mother’s
Day Chuck probably not kids
Africa your biological clock is ticking
and it’s time to mate you attract a
suitor by sending self-generated perfume
wafting into the air naturally a
wandering male comes
scuttling toward you to seal the deal
you send out good vibrations which are
picked up by these ultra fine sensory
organs your eyes are like limpid pools
all either you’ve attracted a partner
but you are still in complete control
why because if he doesn’t fulfill his
role you can kill him at any time he
grasps you by the forelimbs
caressing you with his tail so far so
good now it’s time for the courtship
pass there’s more to this than a quick
spin around the dance floor his strategy
of which you are well aware is to plant
a sperm packet on the ground and then
maneuver you on top of it hoping you’ll
take it into your body
maybe it’s the raffish twinkle in his
eye maybe it’s the way he shakes his
scorpion booty but you take in the sperm
leaving the empty packet behind and with
that he’s out of there
no laundry no pals over to watch
football in the big-screen TV
no sharing in the bathroom he can’t hang
around or you may very well
Edom and you live out the gestation
period alone I hope you like being with
child because a Scorpion’s gestation
period is a colossal 18 bucks that’s
double a human’s longer even in a whales
finally you give birth the ghost white
baby is born fully formed you are a
superior scorpion mom cradling your
newborn with tender care soon it begins
to unfold its limbs through the night
you give birth to more babies and more
babies and more babies each new baby
frees itself from the birth membrane and
climbs up on top of mom’s back
eighteen babies all together luckily you
don’t have to nurse these babies they
feed on nutrients left over from the
embryo stage you’ve done it from mating
dance to piggyback mom and each one of
these babies with luck will live for
eight years but will they call will they
come over send you a card on Mother’s
Day Chuck probably not kids
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