there’s a person that I like to listen
and sometimes talk to a lot they’ve
always been there like a second point of
view on everything I do they like making
me change my mind making me really think
making me feel well insane at times does
anyone hear and know someone like that
this person is with me everywhere
they’re with me in school at home and
the calf and bed in the bathroom there
even with me right now and as I said
they are really nice to talk back to
sometimes but the problem is they are
with me all the time and sometimes they
speak to me they would say things that
really hurt me even poison my mind they
would say things like oh my gosh Karen
you’re so fat why are you so desperate
you’re so attention-seeking you know the
world can live without you right how
many of you have ever heard these things
said to you that person that I was just
talking about that says all these things
that person is in your head this person
is in all of our heads they are your
best friend and your only enemy and
depending on you they have many
nicknames their names can be
insecurities depression anxiety pain
struggles how many of you have ever
struggled not externally but internally
if so I can relate and today I’m going
to stand here with you to help you
figure out what to do when the person in
their head is making them struggle now
my internal struggles have always had a
bit of a toll on me my nicknames for
them our insecurities anxiety and
depression now everyone has insecurities
it’s the one thing that kind of plagues
us all my insecurities caused my anxiety
they made me think a lot about people
what do they think of me what if they
think I’m just a sec attention-seeking
what if they hate me why don’t they
pretend to like me what if i’m annoying
what if this what
but you see my insecurities and my
anxiety caused me think so much it
becomes so cautious that I ended up
losing faith in myself I just didn’t
love myself anymore grade 7 was when my
anxiety really started taking a toll on
me the person in my head started
tweaking things and now because of these
abnormal situations friends of mine
started to avoid me because in their
mind it was a natural to be feeling this
way now it really hurt me to know that
people would like leave me my times of
need so I started self-harming because
in my mind it helps me cope now of
course doing self harming it caused me
to lose even more friends and even my
reputation which then sparked my
depression so to deal with all of these
disappointments I decide to shut myself
out I shut myself down I decide to run
away and just leave everything behind I
decided to move schools and leave those
people who hurt me even more and I
really thought it would be all over
after I moved but then great n rolled
around great n was a bit of a crazy year
for me I had something called a relapse
the pain the sadness you know the secret
thoughts of like giving up the many
distrusting feelings like an avalanche
it crushed me and it was really
upsetting for me to be having this
relapse because I moved for a better
life I moved and finally felt a sense of
happiness I moved and finally had
friends I felt wanted I ran away from
the past to make myself feel better and
now the past had caught up to me you see
when I was hit with a situation like
this I thought there was only one
solution and that was to give up let the
darkness kind of paint over me I wanted
to die fortunately my friends
saw the darkness that I painted over me
they saw that I had change so they
opened up their arms to me they decided
to help me heal they helped me go to
guidance they helped me open up to my
teacher I am now in grade 11 and a month
ago today I waited at the bus stop for
for the bus to take me down to the
psychiatrist to see if I was to be able
to officially diagnose myself or just to
be dismissed it was to me a very big
step in my journey if everything felt so
real it was amazing supposed to be a
good thing right well for once in my
life hours away from my appointment I
have never felt so insecure about my
mental health so ashamed to I’ve waited
for so many years to finally start
healing the appointment wasn’t terrible
I managed to meet a lot of nice people I
am learning better coping strategies I’m
taking medicine and I’m even going to a
therapist the thing is I look back on my
story a lot because there’s a mistake
that I made and it really unsettles me
that mistake was not healing my anxiety
Milan securities earlier for not fixing
the internal struggles that obviously
affected me physically think about it I
could have died so for me to not fix
myself at that time was me risking my
life I risked my life listening to those
who were not me who thought that my
internal struggles shouldn’t be
affecting the way people physically live
so I stand here today telling you my
internal struggles and I am not the only
one because I guarantee you that in this
crowd there’s someone just like me who
is internally hurting and trying to get
hurt so people are going to be asking me
what do you want me to do what now well
I want you
to start opening up I want everyone to
become a community and to start sharing
their internal struggles to no longer
kind of hide in silence I want people to
open up their pain to other people I
want people to research coping
strategies like working out which is
scientifically proven to help people
with anxiety and to how people feel
better about themselves externally and
internally I want people to lend a hand
if someone comes up to you to talk to
them if someone comes up to you and
talks to you about their internal
struggles don’t brush them off cheer
them on from the sidelines tell them
they are not alone relate to them help
them realize people that can help them
as well tell them to trust their own gut
because you are you and only you know
how you’re feeling overall I want people
to listen because sometimes that’s all
someone needs because sometimes
listening can do more than what actions
can do yes what I’m saying sounds easier
said than done but the small steps that
you take in life can make a great
difference in the world I’ve taken my
step by sharing you my story and my
thoughts it is now your turn thank you [Applause]
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