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Break Away From Negative Thoughts & Experience Life | Kip Hollister | TEDxBeaconStreet


I have a question by a show of hands how

many of you feel good about yourself I

have asked this question in front of

thousands and less than ten percent

raise their hand welcome to being human

we all struggle with insecurities and

these insecurities can really hold us

back from being engaged in our life and

I’ve always believed that to feel really

good about ourselves it’s important as i

call it to be lit up in life it’s

important to connect with our passion

and our purpose for the past three

decades i have been running a really

successful staffing organization we get

people jobs and this concept of being

passionate of life is one that I have

brought into the fabric of my

organization I am really committed to my

staff being lit up I want them feeling

good about themselves and to feel as if

they are contributing so at the core of

my being I’m really shy and I’m an

introvert more than an extrovert and I’m

very familiar with these feelings of

insecurity I want to share with you my

story today and how I move through my

insecurities and tapped into that

passion and purpose so you can do the

same I started to not feel good about

myself when I was a kid I was four of

five children and I one of my sisters

was 18 months older than me and I

constantly was comparing myself to her I

felt like she was prettier and more

popular and thinner than me to make

matters worse I in the fourth grade was

put in the lowest level reading group

though red fruit you can imagine what

that made me feel that’s the first time

that I heard this negative chatter going

on in my head it was this judge it was

this judge or this critique saying

not work I’m not good enough I’m not

smart enough we all hear that chatter

right sometimes it’s louder than others

in fact humor me and close your eyes for

a minute and I just want to ask you how

open your eyes so were you judging were

you self-doubting were you criticizing

did you feel awesome did you feel

connected those are the thoughts

constantly running through us and I

learned that there are over 70 thousand

thoughts that run through our head on a

daily basis and eighty percent of them

are negative eighty percent think about

it as a kid I really struggled and tried

to figure out what to do with these

thoughts as a Presbyterian ministers

child I went to Hebrew school and

catechism with my friends all to search

for meaning I was lonely and then I was

searching and moving through high school

and college and still searching for this

meaning of life really out not fitting

in and my family thought for sure I

would join a cult my first job in Boston

I met a mentor who introduced me to this

ancient tradition meditation and it was

through this experience of meditation

that I connected with my inner self and

I had this huge epiphany here’s what I

learned I learned that oh my gosh this

negative chatter going on in my mind is

not real these limiting beliefs are not

real it’s made up and all of the sudden

I felt like that’s what had held me back

in my life so far it’s as if i had a

speed limit on my life who wants to go

45 miles an hour and once I discovered

this I started to practice more and more

and then I started to thrive in my job

and I was in sales and I was on fire why

because I started feel good about myself

I had confidence and then when I was 26

I with this new sense of confidence in

belief in myself somehow I had the

courage to open up my own company and we

started to thrive why because I was

passionate about what I did and I was

also committed

to helping others be passionate about

what they did so I wanted to find

someone the dream job and I also want to

have people come into my company that

wanted to help create a culture that was

lit up through two recessions I got

through those two recessions practicing

meditation i had this laser focus so i

was able to let go of all of the

external stimuli and circumstances and

stay centered and this was a really

great gift and this company grew over

the next two decades and then the third

recession hit and when the third

recession hit for whatever reason i had

trouble going inward and practicing what

I knew worked and instead I panicked and

I felt like I have to fix things and I

was living on four and five hours of

sleep my cell phone was on 24 7 and I

was on it and I was absolutely exhausted

and in this time there was no meditation

experience other than what i call that

drive by experience introspection on the

go so I was totally submerged in being a

CEO a wife and a mother to four

wonderful children and I imploded and I

knew I said things have to change what

do I do and so it was one day when I was

driving home 45 minute drive home from

work and I realized I didn’t know what

rude i had taken i had no clue and this

is when i said to myself you gotta

change things have to change I was not

passionate I was lonely and I was lost

so what I did is I said I have to I have

to do something I started to go inside

and this another thing that happened in

this time is that these limiting beliefs

kicked in and I started to say to myself

I’m not a good leader I’m not good

enough I am not worthy and then I knew

that I had

turn inward for self-reflection it was

not an easy process and i had to get

quiet again because i remembered that

this is what had gotten me to this point

so far so I took time and here’s what

quiet looks like quiet is sitting with

no cell phone even in the room no TV no

papers no people no distractions and I

started to meditate again and in

meditation I discovered Wow when we’re

so stressed out why do we give up on

taking care of ourselves what why does

that happen and I became centered again

I can’t became focused again and this

experience was so enriching for me so I

wanted to make this experience permanent

I wanted this change to be permanent of

me so I knew what to do I said I have to

just set this vision and commit to it

and stick to it and take action now this

realization was both exhilarating and

terrifying first step i went into my vp

of finance and i said we will be

building a huge meditation room can you

imagine his look oh boy I said I’m

committed I want my staff to be able to

have a space where they can self reflect

so that they don’t spiral down the way I

did and furthermore I want to teach them

i want to teach them how to recognize

those limiting thoughts and limiting

beliefs so that they can learn

self-awareness and be more productive

successful and happy in life and then I

thought what if I took this a step

further what if I went out into the

community with this so I got really

excited about this I had the vision of

opening up an institute where we would

teach mindfulness and emotional

intelligence as ways to overcome

obstacles and release our limiting

beliefs and I shared this with my

leadership team my board of advisors and

my friends and family and things didn’t

go as I planned I got shut down it isn’t

the time for the

Boston is not ready for this you’ll

jeopardize your brand you will ruin your

company I was devastated I could not

imagine how connected I was with my

passion and purpose and I felt so shut

down and I knew I could make an impact

on the community so I had to go inside

again and I self-reflective and here’s

what i did i said to myself you know

what these voices that I’m hearing have

clicked in again because that you know

the the roaring lion lion of my limiting

beliefs just love what those people were

saying to me and I had to assure that to

the side and stay focused and listen to

my intuition because my intuition always

tells me the truth and so the Institute

would become a reality so I went back to

my leadership team and I said we’re

making this a go we’re moving forward

because if I don’t move forward I will

live to regret it to which they said

they were on board and that was three

years ago since that time we’ve trained

over 500 people and we have connected

people through mindfulness and teaching

emotional intelligence so that they are

released they are released and they can

live more limitless lives so I ask you

what are you passionate about and is

there anything that’s holding you back

and if so what price are you paying

emotionally physically spiritually these

are challenging times for many I wonder

what it would be like if you were able

to acknowledge those negative thoughts

and let them go and then turn the volume

and the noise down on your limiting

beliefs what would open up for you and

what would be possible unlimited

possibilities no speed limit I encourage

you to take time out everyday for

self-reflection even if it’s ten minutes

a day it can

make a world of difference and this is

where you can connect with your inner

your inner self so that you can define

and understand your passion so that

you’re able to make the right decision

for whatever you want in your life I am

living the most lid of life I have ever

had in years and I’d like the same for you

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