if you have anxiety can you really
believe in yourself can you trust that
you’ll follow through tomorrow on what
you’re setting out to do today can you
trust that you won’t be beaten out by
all the other people who are applying
for the same job you are and can you
trust that the person you are talking to
is smiling at you because they’re
enjoying the conversation and not
mocking you if you have anxiety you
don’t even consider that the person who
asked you out might actually like
something about your personality you
think that they just want to get
something from you
they have no further interest and if you
see that they might actually just like
you
then you think what’s wrong with them
you don’t want to have anything to do
with that person because they’re a loser
and they’re a loser because they like
you if you have anxiety it’s very
difficult to believe any of the
positives not because you’re a pessimist
but because it’s much more realistic to
focus on the negatives plus if it
doesn’t work out then you’re saving
yourself from the huge emotional crash
which would have been inevitable had you
started out being hopeful and thinking
everything was going to be alright as
you can see it’s very difficult when you
have this condition what makes it even
more difficult is that it leaves no
marks scars or bruises on your body to
show to other people that it is serious
according to our research at the
University of Cambridge anxiety
disorders are some of the most common
mental health problems today and women
and young people under the age of 39 are
most affected other research has shown
that anxiety disorders are more
debilitating and can stop you from going
about your day-to-day tasks much more
anxiety can increase your risk for
depression suicide and drastically
limits how far ahead you get in life it
makes it hard to sleep it makes it hard
to think it makes it hard to connect to
others even though you desperately might
want to you just don’t know how to go
about doing it but first of all what is
anxiety there is a difference between
normal anxiety which all of us
normally anxiety is the stress that we
feel before a deadline it’s this rush
this feeling which motivates you and
mobilizes you for action it also serves
to protect us imagine you’re walking
home late at night and suddenly start to
hear footsteps behind you getting closer
and closer a rush is coming over you
your heart starts beating faster your
breathing is getting faster and you feel
anxious this anxiety that you’re feeling
is good because it saves you it protects
you and it makes you want to take cover
if someone is following you late at
night and you’re feeling worried anxiety
makes you want to walk faster and finds
the nearest store so that you can get
inside for safety however if you take
anxiety to the extreme and it starts
arising in situations which don’t pose a
real threat that’s when you might have
an anxiety disorder there are different
types of anxiety disorders there’s
social anxiety disorder in which you
feel like others are watching and
judging you as you are talking to them
even if you’re talking to just one other
person you feel like you’re putting on a
show you’re on stage and it’s your cue
to start the performance as you’re
talking you feel like you’re being
stared at your gestures and moves are
being noticed and because of this your
shoulders and stomach are getting tense
your face and armpits are getting sweaty
and your mouth is becoming very dry the
longer the conversation drags on the
more you feel like your weirdness is
becoming more evident and you can’t
escape you’re trapped
social anxiety disorder stops you from
making friends and it stops you from
going out and trying to connect with
people even though you might really want
to and you’re always thinking if only I
could be like that person or if only I
another example of an anxiety disorder
is generalized anxiety disorder in which
you worry constantly about everything
that is happening in your life the
worries are uncontrollable and they can
keep you up for hours at night as your
when you have anxiety you’re in this
stressed state and you might feel
irritable tense and have chest pains
it’s no surprise that anxiety disorders
have been linked to heart disease
because they can damage the circulatory
system they can also damage the brain
that’s why if someone says anxiety is
not a big deal the scientific evidence
shows that actually it is it can
physically harm you which is why it’s
important to take control and stop
anxiety before it ruins your health and
happiness and since we’re talking about
happiness the single most important
thing when it comes to being happy is
anxiety can ruin this – it can stop you
from connecting with the people you want
today I’ll be talking about three ways
to overcome anxiety and build the
relationships you want the first way of
overcoming anxiety is stop censoring
what you say or do often people with
anxiety edit what they’re about to say
in their minds because they don’t want
to offend anyone they try to gauge the
ideal time to bring up something
and they worry about the impact that
they have on other people if a situation
is ambiguous let’s say they’re talking
to someone with a neutral facial
expression or they’re not sure how a
situation is going to play out they tend
to assume the worst will happen because
of these negative scenarios going
through their minds people with anxiety
are afraid to speak and voice their
ideas or even avoid asking for what they
need be it at work or in personal
relationships as a result they feel
exploitable they think others take
advantage of them and they feel
unassertive so how can you overcome
anxiety and build the relationships you
want the answer is don’t censor what you
say or do I know it’s hard but start
doing it starts with the people you feel
most comfortable with and extend it to
the others around you one by one as soon
as you begin to do this you will feel
liberated your life force will come back
and you will start to be and see
assertiveness or confidence isn’t
something you’re born with
there isn’t a confidence gene that some
people have and others don’t
it’s a skill that can be developed with
practice and anything that anyone has
become good at you can become good at it
too and it all starts with not censoring
the second way of overcoming anxiety is
to practice spending time with people
people with anxiety can be very
self-critical and harsh with themselves
and sometimes wind up with people who
treat them the same people who aren’t
very kind maybe you’re in a relationship
now and thank you deserve better
treatment but for some reason you just
can’t leave this person because it’s
scary being alone but how much bad
treatment are you willing to endure
until you decide to walk away let’s say
this person so whoever you’re with let’s
say this person stayed the same and
didn’t show you kindness for as long as
you were together and let’s say you’re
together for a short amount of time or
maybe for a really long time would you
be able to live in the dark for the rest
of your life is it worth it if you have
anxiety it’s important to practice
spending time with people who treat you
well if there’s someone out there who’s
genuinely interested in you instead of
running away from this person and
wondering what anyone might see in you
try to examine your gut reactions
towards such an individual if someone is
really supportive and pays a lot of
attention to you does this make you feel
weird or do you feel like you don’t
deserve this the question to ask
yourself is what is wrong with good
treatments
and finally a third way to overcome
anxiety is to treat yourself like
someone you love this gives you the
answer to all those questions what
should I do
if my partner is unreliable lies or
makes me feel undesirable if you treat
yourself like someone you love the
answer will come immediately and you
the ancient Buddhist monks used to say
if you think about something long enough
the answer will come to you it will pop
up from inside you if you do this you
won’t need to rely on self-help books
for advice or reassurance from other
treating yourself like someone you love
is essential because after all the most
important relationship in life is the
one you have with yourself thank you [Applause]
believe in yourself can you trust that
you’ll follow through tomorrow on what
you’re setting out to do today can you
trust that you won’t be beaten out by
all the other people who are applying
for the same job you are and can you
trust that the person you are talking to
is smiling at you because they’re
enjoying the conversation and not
mocking you if you have anxiety you
don’t even consider that the person who
asked you out might actually like
something about your personality you
think that they just want to get
something from you
they have no further interest and if you
see that they might actually just like
you
then you think what’s wrong with them
you don’t want to have anything to do
with that person because they’re a loser
and they’re a loser because they like
you if you have anxiety it’s very
difficult to believe any of the
positives not because you’re a pessimist
but because it’s much more realistic to
focus on the negatives plus if it
doesn’t work out then you’re saving
yourself from the huge emotional crash
which would have been inevitable had you
started out being hopeful and thinking
everything was going to be alright as
you can see it’s very difficult when you
have this condition what makes it even
more difficult is that it leaves no
marks scars or bruises on your body to
show to other people that it is serious
according to our research at the
University of Cambridge anxiety
disorders are some of the most common
mental health problems today and women
and young people under the age of 39 are
most affected other research has shown
that anxiety disorders are more
debilitating and can stop you from going
about your day-to-day tasks much more
anxiety can increase your risk for
depression suicide and drastically
limits how far ahead you get in life it
makes it hard to sleep it makes it hard
to think it makes it hard to connect to
others even though you desperately might
want to you just don’t know how to go
about doing it but first of all what is
anxiety there is a difference between
normal anxiety which all of us
normally anxiety is the stress that we
feel before a deadline it’s this rush
this feeling which motivates you and
mobilizes you for action it also serves
to protect us imagine you’re walking
home late at night and suddenly start to
hear footsteps behind you getting closer
and closer a rush is coming over you
your heart starts beating faster your
breathing is getting faster and you feel
anxious this anxiety that you’re feeling
is good because it saves you it protects
you and it makes you want to take cover
if someone is following you late at
night and you’re feeling worried anxiety
makes you want to walk faster and finds
the nearest store so that you can get
inside for safety however if you take
anxiety to the extreme and it starts
arising in situations which don’t pose a
real threat that’s when you might have
an anxiety disorder there are different
types of anxiety disorders there’s
social anxiety disorder in which you
feel like others are watching and
judging you as you are talking to them
even if you’re talking to just one other
person you feel like you’re putting on a
show you’re on stage and it’s your cue
to start the performance as you’re
talking you feel like you’re being
stared at your gestures and moves are
being noticed and because of this your
shoulders and stomach are getting tense
your face and armpits are getting sweaty
and your mouth is becoming very dry the
longer the conversation drags on the
more you feel like your weirdness is
becoming more evident and you can’t
escape you’re trapped
social anxiety disorder stops you from
making friends and it stops you from
going out and trying to connect with
people even though you might really want
to and you’re always thinking if only I
could be like that person or if only I
another example of an anxiety disorder
is generalized anxiety disorder in which
you worry constantly about everything
that is happening in your life the
worries are uncontrollable and they can
keep you up for hours at night as your
when you have anxiety you’re in this
stressed state and you might feel
irritable tense and have chest pains
it’s no surprise that anxiety disorders
have been linked to heart disease
because they can damage the circulatory
system they can also damage the brain
that’s why if someone says anxiety is
not a big deal the scientific evidence
shows that actually it is it can
physically harm you which is why it’s
important to take control and stop
anxiety before it ruins your health and
happiness and since we’re talking about
happiness the single most important
thing when it comes to being happy is
anxiety can ruin this – it can stop you
from connecting with the people you want
today I’ll be talking about three ways
to overcome anxiety and build the
relationships you want the first way of
overcoming anxiety is stop censoring
what you say or do often people with
anxiety edit what they’re about to say
in their minds because they don’t want
to offend anyone they try to gauge the
ideal time to bring up something
and they worry about the impact that
they have on other people if a situation
is ambiguous let’s say they’re talking
to someone with a neutral facial
expression or they’re not sure how a
situation is going to play out they tend
to assume the worst will happen because
of these negative scenarios going
through their minds people with anxiety
are afraid to speak and voice their
ideas or even avoid asking for what they
need be it at work or in personal
relationships as a result they feel
exploitable they think others take
advantage of them and they feel
unassertive so how can you overcome
anxiety and build the relationships you
want the answer is don’t censor what you
say or do I know it’s hard but start
doing it starts with the people you feel
most comfortable with and extend it to
the others around you one by one as soon
as you begin to do this you will feel
liberated your life force will come back
and you will start to be and see
assertiveness or confidence isn’t
something you’re born with
there isn’t a confidence gene that some
people have and others don’t
it’s a skill that can be developed with
practice and anything that anyone has
become good at you can become good at it
too and it all starts with not censoring
the second way of overcoming anxiety is
to practice spending time with people
people with anxiety can be very
self-critical and harsh with themselves
and sometimes wind up with people who
treat them the same people who aren’t
very kind maybe you’re in a relationship
now and thank you deserve better
treatment but for some reason you just
can’t leave this person because it’s
scary being alone but how much bad
treatment are you willing to endure
until you decide to walk away let’s say
this person so whoever you’re with let’s
say this person stayed the same and
didn’t show you kindness for as long as
you were together and let’s say you’re
together for a short amount of time or
maybe for a really long time would you
be able to live in the dark for the rest
of your life is it worth it if you have
anxiety it’s important to practice
spending time with people who treat you
well if there’s someone out there who’s
genuinely interested in you instead of
running away from this person and
wondering what anyone might see in you
try to examine your gut reactions
towards such an individual if someone is
really supportive and pays a lot of
attention to you does this make you feel
weird or do you feel like you don’t
deserve this the question to ask
yourself is what is wrong with good
treatments
and finally a third way to overcome
anxiety is to treat yourself like
someone you love this gives you the
answer to all those questions what
should I do
if my partner is unreliable lies or
makes me feel undesirable if you treat
yourself like someone you love the
answer will come immediately and you
the ancient Buddhist monks used to say
if you think about something long enough
the answer will come to you it will pop
up from inside you if you do this you
won’t need to rely on self-help books
for advice or reassurance from other
treating yourself like someone you love
is essential because after all the most
important relationship in life is the
one you have with yourself thank you [Applause]
Please follow and like us: